Invisible Disability

[Guest guest]

How do you make your family continually remember that you are not

100% physically? Unless I am constantly telling them, they assume

that I can handle all the housework, work a full-time job, walk 3

city blocks to a concert, tour a college campus and be a loving

spouse without ever breaking a sweat. I have spent the last four

months in a wheelchair due to an ankle fusion. Now that I have a

walking cast, it's like I should just be able to wait on them hand

and foot again. My husband comes home last nite with tickets to a

Cher concert for my Valentine gift. Now I know that seems like a

really sweet thing to do, and I'm sure it would be for someone who

can manage to walk a couple blocks from the parking area and then

stand in line to get to your seats. But that's not who we're dealing

with here. And if I say something about how difficult this will be

and that I don't think I'm quite ready for this, then I'm just

ungrateful and unfeeling. But what about considering my needs.

Sometimes I feel really guilty that he's saddled with me. Of course

I didn't know I had this disease 22 years ago when we got married but

still, I feel like I'm always holding him back from the life he would

rather have. He is a very physical guy - lifts weights, runs, golfs,

plays softball, basketball and just about any other sport he can find

the time for. So, what do I do to communicate with my family that I

need a lifestyle change without making everyone unhappy? My sons

still expect me to do all the stuff for them that I used to before

this thing hit me so hard. And when I get tired and start griping,

they just look at me like I've lost my mind. Sometimes I think I

have. Lately it's just all too much and I feel like giving up.