,,, I am really scared,, and ashamed,,,,,,,

June 13, 2002

Let me introduce myself,,,

My name is and I had my surgery with the handsome Dr.

Rumbaut on May 23rd. I am also part of the Dr. Fox group.

my beginning weight was 211 May 23rd, my first post op appt. June 5th

I weighed in at 200. Down 11 lbs in 13 days. I was feeling great.

Then I went to a group get togther on Tuesday June 12th and the group

leader surprised everyone with a huge BBQ. Damn I cant eat. I am

single, live alone thus I have been so lucky so far, no food in the

house just my broth, and tea.

Well I held out for over an hour. Everyone kept saying, " gosh you

are not eating, why? it is so good " and it smelled good.

Well I ate. I am so ashamed of myself and now scared.

I had some mac salad, about 5 bites, a piece of chicken, (I picked

the meat off of it in little pieces), 4 bites of beans.

I ate very very slow and chewed the heck out of it and swollowed

little bit at a time.

I have not had my first fill yet.

Then when I got home said to hell with it and ate 2

cookies,,,,

Not once did I fell sick or lose my food, I also didnt feel a

tightness.

I feel alitte sore but to tell you the truth it is right below where

my port is soooo,,

But I cant begin to tell you how really guilty and scared I feel.

I will Never, do that again, I feel like a big failure

I am back to my liquid now, only water the yesterday

and today, (and protein and vitamins)

Does anyone think I pushed down my band? do you think i

totally ruined it?

Am I just Panicing?????

pls help

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