Re: Depression & Holidays

December 24, 2007

hi sandra.

to me the holidays have always been a time to reflect -- because i

take it off from work and use it to prepare for the nextyear.

since i am not christian, it doesnt have a religious meaning for me,

but i have noticed that i have some friends for whom the holidays are a FAMILY

tradition. it sounds to me like you are missing that tradition and

your family. what i have also heard is that people sometimes

substitute other traditions to replace those that cannot be continued

for whatever reason. i guess you could call my period of

contemplation a tradition too.

to me it sounds like you are in a great state as you say (except not

physically since you want to be in CA vs NY!!) -- with a loving

family and improving health. i think that you are so lucky to have

found a new loving partner (that has eluded me since my divorce!!).

if i were talking to me i would use cher's " snap out of " from

moonstruck (which by the way i think will be shown tonite on oxygen)

-- but i will let you say that to yourself if it is the right thing to do.

i hope that your surgery goes well ( i had to have some of that done

too, but no one told me it was a result of weight loss!!) and that

you have the best holiday season. hang in there.

At 08:17 AM 12/24/2007, you wrote:

>HI Everyone... I've just spent the last 30 min catching up on reading

>posts and thought ok now I'm really depressed LOL While I appreciate

>the discussion about the issue of self worth vs. self esteem it really

>doesn't matter what you call it. We all have to have a sense of

>purpose in our lives or we don't give a heck about ourselves or anyone

>around us!

>

>I need to be able to express what I am going through and hopefully get

>some encouragement. Although I don't know if there is anything that

>can be said other than " JUST GET OVER IT "

>I have always loved Christmas best... I know its cuz of my own warm

>fuzzy's as a child with my most wonderful precious Grandmother who

>died when I was 11. When I had my own 3 sons I always wanted them to

>have those same feelings associated with Christmas! Now they are

>grown up ( my oldest died 13 yrs ago at 17 ) Last year I moved from

>California to New York. I remarried after ending a 28 yr old

>marriage. I have been remarried for 1 yr and this is my second

>Christmas in NY. I hate it! Its not Christmas at all. My son's are

>in Calif and last year they flew out here but this year due to work

>its not possible. I am going home at the end of the month AFTER I

>have yet a 3rd surgery this year! I have to have a female procedure

>done because of uncontrolable bleeding brought on by " rapid weight

>loss " LOL I swear they come up with this stuff cuz they can't find a

>real reason. Ok so all that history laid out and here I am. Its

>Christmas Eve.. there are NO presents under my tree cuz the lil bit I

>bought was sent to my sons. I agreed that if we fly out to Calif we

>would not go crazy on Christmas for each other etc. But its just not

>Chhristmas (again, my most fav. time of the year) I have done no

>baking cuz I can't eat it. I've tried to do what I could by

>decorateing my building lobby, giving lil gifts to my neighbors. I've

>tried to stay " up " for the husband and not put him through it cuz I

>don't know what to do with all the feelings I'm having! I know some

>of this is due to the Hormonal imbalance I'm going through. I know

>some of it is the adjustment of a new life and I know some of it is

>due to the life change of weigtloss surgery just 4 mo. ago but OMG I

>just want to scream THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!!!

>I try to tell myself I have so much to be thankful for! it could be

>so much worse! I have lost 59 lbs I have a good/loving husband. My

>son's are well and great guys! but I am still really depressed???? is

>this just me being selfish and full of self pitty?

>

December 24, 2007

You need to focus on " others " then you won't have time to focus on yourself and

the things you are missing.

Help someone, volunteer to serve food at the homeless shelter, Salvation Army,

etc. I sang with a hospital caroloer's group for the first time this year

singing to the patients on all floors and I was truly blessed. It helped me see

how fortunate I am and if you could focus on something other than what you don't

seem to have this year, it will bring new blessings.

Get out and don't stay in your house. Do someonething for a neighbor evern if

it's a visit. Go to a nursing home and ask to visit with those who hav

nobody.....You are truly blessed and you will see it then.

Merry Christmas!

Sherry

Depression & Holidays

HI Everyone... I've just spent the last 30 min catching up on reading

posts and thought ok now I'm really depressed LOL While I appreciate

the discussion about the issue of self worth vs. self esteem it really

doesn't matter what you call it. We all have to have a sense of

purpose in our lives or we don't give a heck about ourselves or anyone

around us!

I need to be able to express what I am going through and hopefully get

some encouragement. Although I don't know if there is anything that

can be said other than " JUST GET OVER IT "

I have always loved Christmas best... I know its cuz of my own warm

fuzzy's as a child with my most wonderful precious Grandmother who

died when I was 11. When I had my own 3 sons I always wanted them to

have those same feelings associated with Christmas! Now they are

grown up ( my oldest died 13 yrs ago at 17 ) Last year I moved from

California to New York. I remarried after ending a 28 yr old

marriage. I have been remarried for 1 yr and this is my second

Christmas in NY. I hate it! Its not Christmas at all. My son's are

in Calif and last year they flew out here but this year due to work

its not possible. I am going home at the end of the month AFTER I

have yet a 3rd surgery this year! I have to have a female procedure

done because of uncontrolable bleeding brought on by " rapid weight

loss " LOL I swear they come up with this stuff cuz they can't find a

real reason. Ok so all that history laid out and here I am. Its

Christmas Eve.. there are NO presents under my tree cuz the lil bit I

bought was sent to my sons. I agreed that if we fly out to Calif we

would not go crazy on Christmas for each other etc. But its just not

Chhristmas (again, my most fav. time of the year) I have done no

baking cuz I can't eat it. I've tried to do what I could by

decorateing my building lobby, giving lil gifts to my neighbors. I've

tried to stay " up " for the husband and not put him through it cuz I

don't know what to do with all the feelings I'm having! I know some

of this is due to the Hormonal imbalance I'm going through. I know

some of it is the adjustment of a new life and I know some of it is

due to the life change of weigtloss surgery just 4 mo. ago but OMG I

just want to scream THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!!!

I try to tell myself I have so much to be thankful for! it could be

so much worse! I have lost 59 lbs I have a good/loving husband. My

son's are well and great guys! but I am still really depressed??? ? is

this just me being selfish and full of self pitty?

December 24, 2007

,

Is it too late to volunteer to help at a local soup kitchen or food bank for

Christmas to help break up your day tomorrow? It may help lift your spirits.

Merry Christmas

December 24, 2007

LOL Diane... I love that movie and I'm going to look for it.. I'm needing some

laughs! I did need to tell myself to " snap out of it " I really did think about

this and shoot.. I lost my son and for sevearl Christmas's it didn't feel warm

and fuzzy.. even though I had my other two sons. It was just down right hard,

but I did what I had to do to have joy in my heart and to go on. This is not

harder than that.. in fast is much easier but its just a different hard! I just

had to voice what I was feeling so I could face it I think!

Thank you for the encouragement! Hope your New Year is a happy & healthy one!

Diane <dsb135711@...> wrote: