Re: on the subject of kids and eating...

January 15, 2007

I think there can be a medium ground here. Given the free choice, I

bet many kids would go to McD 3x a day and love every greasy second of

it. Peer prssure and all those TV ads are very effective.

I don't think we csn give them free rein in much of anything when

young. Instead of " pick something to wear " it might be better to

say " would you like the PINK shirt, or teh BU one today? " Choice, but

LIMITED choice. More choices as they grow older and demonstrate some

respoinsibility, though. As parents, we have to teach and role model

and gently guide with love.

Too many parents, imo, want to be their kid's FRIEND and never require

them to do anytghing they don't want. I think that's a disaster.

A McD meal is fine occasioanlly, as are all things, but most stuff

there really is junk.

DQ hot fudge sundaes are much better. Trust me, I know. :-)

Sandy R

>

> I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually bad

to try to

> restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing is

to model

> good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise " routine.

(Another

> reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard this??

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will win?

> http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

>

January 16, 2007

Re: on the subject of kids and eating...

>I think there can be a medium ground here. Given the free choice, I

>bet many kids would go to McD 3x a day and love every greasy second of

>it. Peer prssure and all those TV ads are very effective.

Some would, some wouldn't, as you say. But even if they could eat there 3x a

day, I think they'd be ready for a change on occasion, even if only to Taco Bell

or 's. :-)

>I don't think we csn give them free rein in much of anything when

>young. Instead of " pick something to wear " it might be better to

>say " would you like the PINK shirt, or teh BU one today? " Choice, but

>LIMITED choice. More choices as they grow older and demonstrate some

>respoinsibility, though. As parents, we have to teach and role model

>and gently guide with love.

Absolutely. Having raised six, both bio and step, and being the oldest of six

and becoming the " man of the house " when my father died very young, I don't know

it all, but do know pretty well what works and what doesn't.

You can always give a choice. Even in the military you have a choice. You can

either follow the order, or you can receive punishment. Same for kids. You can

either wash the dishes, or you can be grounded for three days. Your choice.

(adjust as necessary). You can either mow the lawn, or surrender your car keys

for a week, your call.

>Too many parents, imo, want to be their kid's FRIEND and never require

>them to do anytghing they don't want. I think that's a disaster.

>A McD meal is fine occasioanlly, as are all things, but most stuff

>there really is junk.

Right. Being your kid's friend is terminally stupid. Hopefully you and the kid

like each other and respect each other, but the idea of being best friends is

really wrong. Just last night we saw a number of good examples of that in the

movie " The Family Stone " on cable. They played the examples for laughs, but I'm

sure for many they were reminders of painful events.

>DQ hot fudge sundaes are much better. Trust me, I know. :-)

Yeah, hot fudge is nice, though for me it is waaaayyyy too sweet to have more

than about once a year. Of course if you offer me custard.....

dan in 11 degree Boise

I never complain, never ask why, please don't let my dreams run dry....

www.mylapband.tk

Dan Lester, Boise, Idaho, USA

Dr. Ortiz, Tijuana, 4/27/03

355/323/212/190

January 16, 2007

Hi ,

I have 3 children, 21, 12, and 7. My 21 year old was over 300 lbs by

the age of 15. He was banded on the same day as me in April 2005 at

the age of 19. He has lost 80 lbs. On the subject of kids and

eating.....All three of my children started out growing normally

until the age of 6 or 7. I call it the magic age. They just seemed

to start to have this ravenous appetite, beg for more food and gain

weight rapidly. My 12 year old daughter currenty weighs 250 lbs. and

seems to be going in the direction of her older brother. She has

seen our progress and is very frustrated with how things are going

for her. My 7 year old weighs 77 lbs and started his gaining trend

this past year. We were very hopeful up until then because he seemed

to be staying at a good weight.

We have been to at least 3 nutritionists. At this point every time

we visit the pediatrician's office the doctor asks my daughter to

step out of the room and starts in on me about her weight. I try to

tell them how hard we try and they just give me the name of a

nutritionist. It sounds arrogant, but I knew more than each one of

these " professionals " because of my experience with fighting obesity

for 40 of my 46 years. I don't think I've ever heard one of them say

you have to eat to lose or try to figure out what a person's specific

caloric intake should be and combine it with an exercise program.

Even though I am still learning I believe that there is a serious

lack of understanding obesity and how the human body works among

these professionals and I'm including the doctors here.

I can't begin to tell you the frustration that I've experienced with

my children let alone my own problem and my husband's, who weighs

over 300 and is getting banded in March. I have gone through

restricting, pleading, crying, reading books, etc, etc. I control my

children's meals, snacks, no soda unless we are out and its diet. I

try to stay flexible and do believe that allowing the occasional

goody is far better than complete denial of these foods. We almost

never go to McD's and when we do we have the grilled chicken and

salad. My daughter usually begs for the dollar menu burger and

fries. I think it was last year since she's had it. Everywhere she

looks she see other kids eating an abundace of pizza, cake, candy,

and wonders whats wrong with her. Anyway, I question every day what

I'm doing wrong as a parent to have these children growing the way

they are. No, we don't excercise enough, but almost all the parents

I know are not out hitting the pavement at 4:00 after school when its

time for homework, cooking dinner, etc. We try, but I know we could

do better in this area. Our last effort was to schedule just 2 days

a week for after school exercise, the holidays came, at it has yet to

restart.

You are absolutely right about modeling good behavior but I thought 2

years ago that when I started eating less and moving more that my

kids would follow along and mimick my behavior, but its only gotten

worse. I know there is room for improvement, but I believe that such

a big part of this battle is our environment. I can have my cabinets

contain only healthy, nutritious foods and snacks, but one visit at a

friends house, one eating out event, one holiday, one visit from

grandmom, and my efforts are squelched. I'm not perfect by any

means, I also have those weak moments when I want to run to the store

and obtain what is not in my house.

I call myself the food police. People laugh, but they see my kids

asking me before they put anything in their mouths or they see my

kids " sneaking " food. On the other hand, my kids know who to ask if

they want to be bad...Daddy almost always says yes, but he is trying

to deal with always being the nice guy. He only wants the kids to be

happy, but I'm constantly telling him that its hurting them.

Unfortunately this makes me the " bad guy " and I'm not a lot of fun.

I'm convinced that without restricting, my children would be among

those who are unable to walk by the age of 30. This will be a

lifelong battle and I only wish that I could see my children and

their children live healthy, happy lives. I'm grateful for my band

and will probably see most of my children banded in the future, but I

know it also involves a change of attitude, commitment, and diligence

on all our parts.

Carol

>

> I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually bad

to try to

> restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing is

to model

> good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise " routine.

(Another

> reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard this??

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

win?

> http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

>

January 16, 2007

Sandy,

you continue to amaze me. your opinion on parenting is spot on.

Gosh we're on the same page!!!!

george

> >

> > I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually

bad

> to try to

> > restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing

is

> to model

> > good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise " routine.

> (Another

> > reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard this??

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

win?

> > http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

> href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

> >

>

January 16, 2007

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(AUTH: LOGIN danlester)

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From: " Dan Lester " <honu@...>

Reply-honu@...

Subject: RE: Re: on the subject of kids and eating...

Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2007 9:13:17 -0700

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I don't have time to comment on everything, but a couple of quick thoughts:

1. Change physicians/pediatricians. Like it is a good idea to ask the kid to

leave so you can talk about him/her. They KNOW what is going on, especially by

age 12. Duuuuhhhh...

2. Part of obesity is genetic. Like most things, they aren't pure " nature " or

pure " nurture " . Looks very likely the kids have inherited the tendency to

obesity, which just makes it harder to deal with than dealing with someone who

is " just " habit or psychological issues.

3. When kids are totally forbidden to do or eat something, they're all the more

likely to do it away from you. She probably has unlimited choices of junk foods

at school, on the way to or from school, etc. There are LOTS of ways to get

what you want, even if you don't have money. (One of my daughters, and a niece,

each traded their bodies for meth and/or coke. Fortunately both are now clean

and sober, and I pray daily that they'll stay that way. ) Both of my other

kids are obese adults, and though daughter is working on the issue (compounded

by two pregnancies), my son doesn't seem to care, nor does his obese wife.

4. As you have seen, kids are great at playing one parent against the other. I

hope you can continue to develop the united front. Also, by age 12 the daughter

should be able to make her own decisions for the most part. Remember, she's

making them when she's not around you. Would also help if you could get grandma

on your side. Is she obese too, or just trying to be the " nice grandma " ?

5. Scare tactics don't necessarily work, and could backfire, but try to educate

them on the risks of diabetes (and losing their limbs from that before they

die), of heart attacks, etc. Yes, most kids think they're as invulnerable as

superman.....but even he has a weakness. Theirs just happens to be food instead

of kryptonite.

Hang in there.....you're trying, and that's more than a great many parents are

doing.

dan

I never complain, never ask why, please don't let my dreams run dry....

www.mylapband.tk

Dan Lester, Boise, Idaho, USA

Dr. Ortiz, Tijuana, 4/27/03

355/323/212/190

Re: on the subject of kids and eating...

>Hi ,

>I have 3 children, 21, 12, and 7. My 21 year old was over 300 lbs by

>the age of 15. He was banded on the same day as me in April 2005 at

>the age of 19. He has lost 80 lbs. On the subject of kids and

>eating.....All three of my children started out growing normally

>until the age of 6 or 7. I call it the magic age. They just seemed

>to start to have this ravenous appetite, beg for more food and gain

>weight rapidly. My 12 year old daughter currenty weighs 250 lbs. and

>seems to be going in the direction of her older brother. She has

>seen our progress and is very frustrated with how things are going

>for her. My 7 year old weighs 77 lbs and started his gaining trend

>this past year. We were very hopeful up until then because he seemed

>to be staying at a good weight.

>We have been to at least 3 nutritionists. At this point every time

>we visit the pediatrician's office the doctor asks my daughter to

>step out of the room and starts in on me about her weight. I try to

>tell them how hard we try and they just give me the name of a

>nutritionist. It sounds arrogant, but I knew more than each one of

>these " professionals " because of my experience with fighting obesity

>for 40 of my 46 years. I don't think I've ever heard one of them say

>you have to eat to lose or try to figure out what a person's specific

>caloric intake should be and combine it with an exercise program.

>Even though I am still learning I believe that there is a serious

>lack of understanding obesity and how the human body works among

>these professionals and I'm including the doctors here.

>I can't begin to tell you the frustration that I've experienced with

>my children let alone my own problem and my husband's, who weighs

>over 300 and is getting banded in March. I have gone through

>restricting, pleading, crying, reading books, etc, etc. I control my

>children's meals, snacks, no soda unless we are out and its diet. I

>try to stay flexible and do believe that allowing the occasional

>goody is far better than complete denial of these foods. We almost

>never go to McD's and when we do we have the grilled chicken and

>salad. My daughter usually begs for the dollar menu burger and

>fries. I think it was last year since she's had it. Everywhere she

>looks she see other kids eating an abundace of pizza, cake, candy,

>and wonders whats wrong with her. Anyway, I question every day what

>I'm doing wrong as a parent to have these children growing the way

>they are. No, we don't excercise enough, but almost all the parents

>I know are not out hitting the pavement at 4:00 after school when its

>time for homework, cooking dinner, etc. We try, but I know we could

>do better in this area. Our last effort was to schedule just 2 days

>a week for after school exercise, the holidays came, at it has yet to

>restart.

>You are absolutely right about modeling good behavior but I thought 2

>years ago that when I started eating less and moving more that my

>kids would follow along and mimick my behavior, but its only gotten

>worse. I know there is room for improvement, but I believe that such

>a big part of this battle is our environment. I can have my cabinets

>contain only healthy, nutritious foods and snacks, but one visit at a

>friends house, one eating out event, one holiday, one visit from

>grandmom, and my efforts are squelched. I'm not perfect by any

>means, I also have those weak moments when I want to run to the store

>and obtain what is not in my house.

>I call myself the food police. People laugh, but they see my kids

>asking me before they put anything in their mouths or they see my

>kids " sneaking " food. On the other hand, my kids know who to ask if

>they want to be bad...Daddy almost always says yes, but he is trying

>to deal with always being the nice guy. He only wants the kids to be

>happy, but I'm constantly telling him that its hurting them.

>Unfortunately this makes me the " bad guy " and I'm not a lot of fun.

>I'm convinced that without restricting, my children would be among

>those who are unable to walk by the age of 30. This will be a

>lifelong battle and I only wish that I could see my children and

>their children live healthy, happy lives. I'm grateful for my band

>and will probably see most of my children banded in the future, but I

>know it also involves a change of attitude, commitment, and diligence

>on all our parts.

>Carol

>

>>

>> I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually bad

>to try to

>> restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing is

>to model

>> good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise " routine.

>(Another

>> reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard this??

>>

>> _________________________________________________________________

>> Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

>win?

>> http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

>href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

>>

>

January 16, 2007

Carol,

I have a 13 year old that is 235 lbs. She is a big girl, 5'7 " even has size 11

shoes....

I had my surgery at Tuft NEMC and I have talked to my surgeon about having her

banded. The surgeon was all for it, but her (and my) weight loss psychologist

said NO WAY. At 13 it would be my decision and not hers, and he didnt feel she

is ready to make the commitment, but we could revisit it again when she is 16.

Now I dont have any junk food at my house, we havent been to Mcs in a

year....For the last year she has gained weight every month...Last month she

lost 5 lbs, so maybe she is ready....

Patty

LapBand

02/28/05

280/152/150

-------------- Original message ----------------------

January 16, 2007

Carol,

What you shared touches me.. I don't know how to reply but know

that I feel for you and your family. Dealing with obesity can be so

devastating. I'm so sorry your famiy is dealing with all this and

trying so hard.. Best of luck and warm thoughts...

Sharon S

In , " mom1960cq " <mom1960cq@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi ,

> I have 3 children, 21, 12, and 7. My 21 year old was over 300 lbs

by

> the age of 15. He was banded on the same day as me in April 2005

at

> the age of 19. He has lost 80 lbs. On the subject of kids and

> eating.....All three of my children started out growing normally

> until the age of 6 or 7. I call it the magic age. They just

seemed

> to start to have this ravenous appetite, beg for more food and

gain

> weight rapidly. My 12 year old daughter currenty weighs 250 lbs.

and

> seems to be going in the direction of her older brother. She has

> seen our progress and is very frustrated with how things are going

> for her. My 7 year old weighs 77 lbs and started his gaining

trend

> this past year. We were very hopeful up until then because he

seemed

> to be staying at a good weight.

>

> We have been to at least 3 nutritionists. At this point every

time

> we visit the pediatrician's office the doctor asks my daughter to

> step out of the room and starts in on me about her weight. I try

to

> tell them how hard we try and they just give me the name of a

> nutritionist. It sounds arrogant, but I knew more than each one

of

> these " professionals " because of my experience with fighting

obesity

> for 40 of my 46 years. I don't think I've ever heard one of them

say

> you have to eat to lose or try to figure out what a person's

specific

> caloric intake should be and combine it with an exercise program.

> Even though I am still learning I believe that there is a serious

> lack of understanding obesity and how the human body works among

> these professionals and I'm including the doctors here.

>

> I can't begin to tell you the frustration that I've experienced

with

> my children let alone my own problem and my husband's, who weighs

> over 300 and is getting banded in March. I have gone through

> restricting, pleading, crying, reading books, etc, etc. I control

my

> children's meals, snacks, no soda unless we are out and its diet.

I

> try to stay flexible and do believe that allowing the occasional

> goody is far better than complete denial of these foods. We

almost

> never go to McD's and when we do we have the grilled chicken and

> salad. My daughter usually begs for the dollar menu burger and

> fries. I think it was last year since she's had it. Everywhere

she

> looks she see other kids eating an abundace of pizza, cake, candy,

> and wonders whats wrong with her. Anyway, I question every day

what

> I'm doing wrong as a parent to have these children growing the way

> they are. No, we don't excercise enough, but almost all the

parents

> I know are not out hitting the pavement at 4:00 after school when

its

> time for homework, cooking dinner, etc. We try, but I know we

could

> do better in this area. Our last effort was to schedule just 2

days

> a week for after school exercise, the holidays came, at it has yet

to

> restart.

>

> You are absolutely right about modeling good behavior but I

thought 2

> years ago that when I started eating less and moving more that my

> kids would follow along and mimick my behavior, but its only

gotten

> worse. I know there is room for improvement, but I believe that

such

> a big part of this battle is our environment. I can have my

cabinets

> contain only healthy, nutritious foods and snacks, but one visit

at a

> friends house, one eating out event, one holiday, one visit from

> grandmom, and my efforts are squelched. I'm not perfect by any

> means, I also have those weak moments when I want to run to the

store

> and obtain what is not in my house.

>

> I call myself the food police. People laugh, but they see my kids

> asking me before they put anything in their mouths or they see my

> kids " sneaking " food. On the other hand, my kids know who to ask

if

> they want to be bad...Daddy almost always says yes, but he is

trying

> to deal with always being the nice guy. He only wants the kids to

be

> happy, but I'm constantly telling him that its hurting them.

> Unfortunately this makes me the " bad guy " and I'm not a lot of

fun.

> I'm convinced that without restricting, my children would be among

> those who are unable to walk by the age of 30. This will be a

> lifelong battle and I only wish that I could see my children and

> their children live healthy, happy lives. I'm grateful for my

band

> and will probably see most of my children banded in the future,

but I

> know it also involves a change of attitude, commitment, and

diligence

> on all our parts.

> Carol

>

> >

> > I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually

bad

> to try to

> > restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing

is

> to model

> > good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise "

routine.

> (Another

> > reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard

this??

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

> win?

> > http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

> href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

> >

>

January 16, 2007

Patty,

Thank you so much for helping me to not feel so alone. I'm sorry

that your daughter is struggling like mine. My daughter wears size

11 shoes also, but she is only an inch taller than me 5'3 " . I assume

she will grow to be a few more inches with feet that big. One thing

we really lack in our area along with good nutritionists is good

theapists in the area of weight loss. The program here makes you go

to what they call an " evaluation " for $300.00 out of pocket. I was

fond of the person that evaluated me, but he had very little

experience with weight loss therapy. They basically push everyone

through this eval unless your a complete nutcase and trust me I've

seen them go through too. I probably would agree with your psych

that it is too young to have the surgery. My son, at 19 was very

determined to do it. I was against it but my husband was for it. I

do believe my son was at the point where he was able to make his own

decision and I am glad he did it. He seems so much happier. I think

it will be quite a while before my daughter decides to do it if

ever. At present she just about faints when she gets a blood test.

Thanks again for sharing. I know how draining it can be to have

everyone around you looking to you for blame while you try so hard to

change things.

Carol

>

> Carol,

> I have a 13 year old that is 235 lbs. She is a big girl, 5'7 " even

has size 11 shoes....

> I had my surgery at Tuft NEMC and I have talked to my surgeon about

having her banded. The surgeon was all for it, but her (and my)

weight loss psychologist said NO WAY. At 13 it would be my decision

and not hers, and he didnt feel she is ready to make the commitment,

but we could revisit it again when she is 16.

> Now I dont have any junk food at my house, we havent been to

Mcs in a year....For the last year she has gained weight every

month...Last month she lost 5 lbs, so maybe she is ready....

>

> Patty

> LapBand

> 02/28/05

> 280/152/150

> -------------- Original message ----------------------

>

January 16, 2007

Sharon,

Thank you so much for your kind words and " warm thoughts. "

Carol

> > >

> > > I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually

> bad

> > to try to

> > > restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best

thing

> is

> > to model

> > > good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise "

> routine.

> > (Another

> > > reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard

> this??

> > >

_________________________________________________________________

> > > Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

> > win?

> > > http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

> > href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

> > >

> >

>

January 16, 2007

Carol,

It is tough. I know everyone looks at me and thinks, why does she let her eat

so much. My husband used to take her out to dinner quite often when I worked.

She would eat all of the bread and butter before the meal came, I told him, have

the waitress take it away. So he did, and he said the look on my daughters face

was so sad, he would never do that again. So they dont go out to eat anymore.

.....

Fortunately the program she is in is $30 a month.....But its only once a month,

so I may be bringing her to Weight Watchers, just so she gets weighed in more

than once a month.

Patty

January 16, 2007

Hi, I know how you feel. My 17 yr. daughter has just been banded. She weighed

233 when we got to Mexico. Dr. Kuri did the surgery and he talked to about her

part in this. It has been somewhat hard, even though we are 100% happy we did

it, other people have judged us. I heard from my daughter today that some

gastric bypass person was saying how a high school student got the band and she

did not even need it. Since when is 108 lbs overweight not serious for a 17 yr.

old. Anyway I need to ignore people I guess, because nothing we did worked and

her weight kept going up, up, up. Her future looks bright now. She has been

judged so badly, because she is in drama and this is her future choice in

college. We went to Mexico because of the experience of the Dr. #1, and #2 it

would have been difficult to have it done in the US. We're thrilled with her

future, but she has to use it as a tool and has to do her part. I wish the best

for your daughter. Alyce

Re: Re: on the subject of kids and eating...

Carol,

I have a 13 year old that is 235 lbs. She is a big girl, 5'7 " even has size 11

shoes....

I had my surgery at Tuft NEMC and I have talked to my surgeon about having her

banded. The surgeon was all for it, but her (and my) weight loss psychologist

said NO WAY. At 13 it would be my decision and not hers, and he didnt feel she

is ready to make the commitment, but we could revisit it again when she is 16.

Now I dont have any junk food at my house, we havent been to Mcs in a

year....For the last year she has gained weight every month...Last month she

lost 5 lbs, so maybe she is ready....

Patty

LapBand

02/28/05

280/152/150

------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -

January 16, 2007

Carol and Patty,

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with your family. I am more than

sure that you are not alone, which is even more unfortunate. One thing I

hope for is that as obesity surgeries continue to rise, more attention will

be paid to prevention. It just seems like right now the only answer the

medical or psychological fields can give is moderation and exercise, which

we know just doesn't cut it.

You are SO right about a big part of the battle being the environment and

IMO it's sickening that the government (of the heaviest country on the

planet no less) has barely done anything to regulate marketing to kids.

I don't have kids yet, but it's something I often think of. Anyway, I don't

know what else to say except that I pray for more answers and wish you and

your family the best.

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January 16, 2007

Alyce,

Best of luck to your daughter!! Good for her and you for being supportive!!

I wish you both the best.

Patty

January 16, 2007

Alyce,

Congrats on your daughter's decision. We're all different. Some

teens may be mature enough and ready way before others. Some may

never be ready. I think its very important that we know either

through our own experiences or a good therapist that they are ready

for this. The good thing, and this is why banding is way better than

bypass for teens, is that, as we all know....it is adjustable and

reversible. If they are having problems and decide they don't want

their " tool " any longer, they can choose to remove it. My son made

the choice to not tell a lot of people. I think only 3 of his best

friends know and the family. When others ask how he has lost all the

weight he tells them the truth. He eats less and goes to the gym 5

days a week. I find that people in general are very judgemental,

whether its that we feed our kids too much or we are somehow taking

the " easy " route with surgery. Its best that we keep it as NONE OF

THEIR BUSINESS.

I find the opinions of bypass people to be very confusing. Two

friends of mine recently told me that I should have the bypass done

because of some complications I'm having. I told them both that I

would not do it. I was kind about it and just said, " I'm still not

as brave as you. " Which is true in a sense. I would be frightened

to do something so radical. I just wish they would stop having this

superior attitude about how their surgery is better than ours. They

lose their weight in one year and start comparing right away. Five

years down the line when they have gained back or getting B12 shots

or osteoporosis, its a whole different story. Nothing reversible

about it. Wish you and your daughter much success. Stick with her.

Follow the " rules " and she'll be fine.

Carol

>

> Hi, I know how you feel. My 17 yr. daughter has just been banded.

She weighed 233 when we got to Mexico. Dr. Kuri did the surgery and

he talked to about her part in this. It has been somewhat hard, even

though we are 100% happy we did it, other people have judged us. I

heard from my daughter today that some gastric bypass person was

saying how a high school student got the band and she did not even

need it. Since when is 108 lbs overweight not serious for a 17 yr.

old. Anyway I need to ignore people I guess, because nothing we did

worked and her weight kept going up, up, up. Her future looks bright

now. She has been judged so badly, because she is in drama and this

is her future choice in college. We went to Mexico because of the

experience of the Dr. #1, and #2 it would have been difficult to

have it done in the US. We're thrilled with her future, but she has

to use it as a tool and has to do her part. I wish the best for your

daughter. Alyce

>

> Re: Re: on the subject of kids and

eating...

>

> Carol,

> I have a 13 year old that is 235 lbs. She is a big girl, 5'7 " even

has size 11 shoes....

> I had my surgery at Tuft NEMC and I have talked to my surgeon about

having her banded. The surgeon was all for it, but her (and my)

weight loss psychologist said NO WAY. At 13 it would be my decision

and not hers, and he didnt feel she is ready to make the commitment,

but we could revisit it again when she is 16.

> Now I dont have any junk food at my house, we havent been to

Mcs in a year....For the last year she has gained weight every

month...Last month she lost 5 lbs, so maybe she is ready....

>

> Patty

> LapBand

> 02/28/05

> 280/152/150

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -

>

January 16, 2007

Carol & Patty,

I am very sorry to hear about the weight problems in your family. I am in

somewhat the same boat here at my house. Sort of... I am married to a man who

has no problems with his weight he is 5'8 " and weighs about 130 however we have

a daughter who is 6 and already weighs 60 lbs. She is also about 4'1 " or 2 " so

she is tall but has that little tummy that just haunts me of my childhood.

I know some of her eating habits aren't the best and I think sometimes I

assist in that still even after my band surgery. I'm always looking for new

" goodies " to pack in her lunch.

I'm hoping that as time goes on her and I will learn together the correct way

to eat. I have lost 100 lbs with my lapband and I know she sees that is

important to my health. Sometimes it worries me that she will be too consumed

with " losing weight " and I don't want that either.

On the other hand I have a 13 year old son (who has a different dad but his

dad is not a thin man) and he is about 5'7 " and weighs about 130-140 so again no

problem with weight and never has had a problem. So I'm hoping that my daughter

will " catch up " with her weight and start to thin out as she gets older.

Audrey

---------------------------------

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in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit.

January 16, 2007

Hi, Patty - just so you know, 13-16 yr olds are beiunbg banded and

doing great. Dr Kuri and Dr Ortiz both have several young teens, and

they can do just great if they are mature, committed, and really

undertsand what is needed. One of Dr K's 13 yrs olds has lost 80 # in

a year and her life is 1000% different now. she is not teased, afraid

to go out, is much more self-confident and is much happier.

There are several teen banding programs in the US too - one in

Chicago, SF, ad other cities, so it is not an automatic " NO " to the

question of banding.

Ther is no need to wait another 3 yrs, if she continues to gain and

is ready. Kids get one chance to be teens, and a miserable teen

period haunts us and hurts us for life.

Just ask if you'd like more information.

Sandy r

>

> Carol,

> I have a 13 year old that is 235 lbs. She is a big girl, 5'7 " even

has size 11 shoes....

> I had my surgery at Tuft NEMC and I have talked to my surgeon about

having her banded. The surgeon was all for it, but her (and my)

weight loss psychologist said NO WAY. At 13 it would be my decision

and not hers, and he didnt feel she is ready to make the commitment,

but we could revisit it again when she is 16.

> Now I dont have any junk food at my house, we havent been to

Mcs in a year....For the last year she has gained weight every

month...Last month she lost 5 lbs, so maybe she is ready....

>

> Patty

> LapBand

> 02/28/05

> 280/152/150

> -------------- Original message ----------------------

>

January 16, 2007

Carol! I had forgotten your son was also banded with you! Wow, He's

doing great too!

It's really hard when the whole family is overweight - that usually

points to genetics as a big cause, and I think that the docs don't

undertsnad this. Some people simply process calories different, and

their metabolisms ar different. I agree that many are arrogant about

thinkign that onesity is simple overeating and lack of exercsie.

What I said to Eileen about bandign youunegr teens also applies to

your daughter. It's entirely possible. And the kids who have banded

moms too are doing especially well.

Sandy

> >

> > I've actually heard that studies are showing now it's actually

bad

> to try to

> > restrict kids food choices, be they good or bad. The best thing

is

> to model

> > good eating habits and have a regular family " exercise " routine.

> (Another

> > reason it's great to be a bandster!) Has anyone else heard this??

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. Who will

> win?

> > http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?

> href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001

> >

>

January 16, 2007

Alyce, I think you and your daughter made exactly the right decision

to have her banded, if she understood it. Being heavy in the teen

years really scrs kids for life, and it CAN be prevented and resolved

with banding - for the more mature kids. It's surely not for all of

them, but most do just great- especialy those with abnded moms.

Ignore the other ignorant people who don't know a thing. They have no

right to judge you or your daughter until they are in your shoes -

which they will NEVER be.

Maybe the kids who are banded would like to communicate with each

other? Having a special banded friend who knows the pain of being

heavy, and someone to talk to - even a Board just for teens, would

be a great idea. We can help with that, if you like..