Re: Therapy??

[Guest guest]

I had been in therapy for a while and it did not seem to help the

depression. My PsyD suggested Lex. Since they seem to think that

my depression is a chemical imbalance and have told me that I will

be on AD for life, all the therapy in the world isn't going to cure

me.

> I was just sitting here not able to sleep and was wondering how

many

> of you are in therapy. My doc didn't even talk to me about it.

[Guest guest]

Quoting :

> I am in therapy! I am very proud of it too! This is fundamental for

> people in our unique situation. It helps us to pinpoint not only why we

> react the way we do and how to determine what thoughts are erroneous and

> what thoughts need attention. Our emotions and reactions EVEN WITH the

> ad's are always going to be skewed. No pill will offer a magical cure; it

> may assist with the hi's and low's, but we will always be a little

> different. Who the hell is the judge of normalcy these days???

I jumped into therapy at the same time that I got really, really serious

about getting my depression into remission. 'Course, I was between a large

chunk o'concrete and an even bigger granite boulder. My husband of 12

years told me out of the blue over the Sunday paper earlier that week that

he wanted out of our marriage. It went sort of like this -- Me: " Can I

have the comics when you're done? Want some more coffee while I'm up?

YOU'RE...WHAT???? " =O Then I proceeded to have a crying screaming sweating

throwing up swearing hissy fit meltdown cuz I had no idea it was anywhere

on the horizon. Needless to say, he never was really good about

communicating his feelings...he told me all this while he was cutting his

NAILS! It was probably best he was using clippers and not scissors.

At first, the therapy was to save the marriage and get him to come back. It

was very, very hard work. Definitely not for wussies. Later, I realized it

was really for me, not the lame-o I was married to and why the heck would I

want him back after that, anyway? Duh! That was four years ago. I was

going twice a week for a long time, now I see my pshrink about once a

month, if that, for 20 min.

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, I create situations to explain why I

feel so crappy. Drama Queen, if you will. It's not enough for me to

realize that I feel bad because of the Depression, not depressed because

*things* are bad. Now, I know that I can feel crappy and not be Depressed,

or be down a little and know my life is just fine! This needs

reinforcement, however. Otherwise, I just magnify situations and put

*myself* into a downward spiral. My pshrink describes it as depression

with a little " d " or depression with a big " D " . Does that make sense?

I agree that if the chemical imbalance is not treated, therapy probably

won't do much good. I went to therapists on and off (mostly off) for so

very long, but until I was medicated, I couldn't get into remission. When

I found a dr. who was very aggressive about finding the right combination

of meds for me, he was also great about therapy to keep me motivated and

coming back during the many drug trials. That, and he has helped with the

Divorce That Would Not Die, but that's another post!

--

Diane Brunet

http://www.sassysuds.com

http://www.inetworld.net/dlb2

[Guest guest]

Quoting Tim Wenninger <tmbrdood@...>:

> Diane, I am also new to lexapro. Started 2 weeks ago.

> While I had some side affects the first few days I

> think it is working a little. My spouse also dropped

> the bomb on me about 11 months ago. While she says its

> because she does not love me I really dont understand.

> I am going to therapy and am still trying to work

> things out. I still love her and needed something to

> dull the anxiety as well as depression. She is still

> not sure what she wants but is going to file for

> deviorce just to get things moving. She will not go to

> counseling or any marrige education seminars. The

> worst part is that we have 4 kids ages 3 to 11 to

> think about. Trying my best to change what she

> disliked about me and our relationship but she says

> its to late. Looking forward to 4 to 6 weeks to see

> how I feel on the Lexapro. Your situation struck me

> and I felt conmpelled to write in. Good to now your

> not alone, Thank you, Tim

>

It's really awful when there are kids involved, especially at the ages

yours are. Mine were 17 and 20. My oldest is still angry with the former

husband and won't speak with him, which is quite a trick considering that

they have been teaching the same taekwondo class two nights a week since

forever. , my oldest, has been in Iraq with the Marine reserves

since April. They haven't communicated since he left. They were never all

that close to begin with. My youngest son considers him " Dad " since Shane

was only three when Dave and I met and five when we married.

Things are much different now than a year after we split up. It was so

very hard and I found myself just trying to get through 10 minutes at a

shot. I was taking Wellbutrin at the time and it added anxiety in addition

to what I already had.

Keep going to therapy even if she doesn't. It'll help you grow and learn

and get through all of this, even if it doesn't fix your marriage. Someone

told me once that it takes two people 100% each to make one work, but only

one person to break it. You can't change her, but you can change yourself.

Best wishes to you. It'll get better, it just takes a lot of time.

Congrats on your decision to treat your depression.

--

Diane Brunet

http://www.sassysuds.com