Re: Does it all matter now? HELL YES IT MATTERS NOW!!!

[Guest guest]

Carol,

I am so very sorry to hear of your troubles. You have definitely been through it and now with the probation thing, sounds like hell. What type of program are you in? Is it an alternative to discipline program? Do you test through NCPS? When you say probation do you mean with the BON? What state are you in?

DO NOT JUST LET IT ALL GO!! YOU HAVE WORKED HARD AT THIS AND YOU HAVE TO FINISH IT. I realize it may seem an insurmountable task at present but you must see it through! If not, THEY win! Are you mobile now? I am assuming you are not b/c you said you couldn't go to meetings, etc. How far away is the BON or whatever program has you on probation? I WOULD CALL EVERY SINGLE DAY 5 TIMES A DAY UNTIL I GOT A RESPONSE. I WOULD GO AL THE WAY TO THE TOP, ALL THE WAY. And if I didn't speak to someone within one week I would physically GO THERE and STAY THERE until I did speak to someone. I would also have documentation from my doctor, in hand.

I would suggest that you suggest hair testing as opposed to UDS, it is more expensive but only has to be done every 6 months and it all comes out in the wash financially. Do you qualify for a home health nurse? If so it may be that she can collect your UDS.? Just doing some brainstorming here.

Also, don't forget all that is needed for a meeting is TWO people. Maybe you have made some friends in the program that would be willing to come over to your house and have a meeting, or 2, or 3, whatever your requirements are per week. It would be a great 12th step opportunity for them.

I would also contact my lawyer and ask his advice. If they try to take some action against you he can counteract that. I would do these things immediately.

Also there are online meetings. I don't know if they would allow that as an option or not, sick your lawyer on that one too. Even though anonymity is always a factor, you could print out a hard copy and black out all names, although there will be only first names anyway and the folks are from all over the country.

Also check for other peer assistance groups online. I am a CRNA and belong to AIR (Anesthetists in Recovery), but you have to be a CRNA for that one, and they check you out before they let you in. I know that there are nurses in recovery sites and groups. My RPP counts that as my peer assistance portion of my program. And they have the name and number of my states AANA peer advisor that they can call and he can verify that I am very active on the forum.

I am going to send you something that always helps me when I get down and feel like throwing in the towel. I typed it in the size of a bookmark just earlier for a friend but I have a big version on my fridge. I read it ALL THE TIME.

Also, are you depressed? Maybe an antidepressant might help? I don't know how you feel about that but if you don't already take one I would consider it. If I were in your shoes I would be going through at least some situational depression.

It's soooo very important to surround yourself with positive, even if you don't have many people coming around, look for positive affirmations, type them up and place them all over your house. Read them out loud every time you see them.

My prayers are with you,

Does it all matter now?

It seems I've fallen off the face of the earth! On Dec. 12, leaving my nursing support group meeting, I fell in the poorly lit parking lot and broke the neck of my femur in 2 places and the long bone down the shaft. I had to have 2 pins and a rod put in and have never been in so much pain in my life! I am 60 years old and have 1 year of probation left. I cannot even go out to meetings or to give a pee test. After the time and work I hate to just let it go, but I cannot fulfill the terms of my probation for the next year and can't get anyone to even call me. I have left voice mails with my PO several times but get no reply. I may end up on permenant disability. Help! What do I do?