Re: Re: Alison - boyfriends suic*de

[Guest guest]

>From experience I can say you're right about a lot of it. But I can also say

this: It does get easier. It never goes away. But it does get better.

Survivors of suicide have a lot of issues to work through. For me the

biggest was the anger. And pain...the pain was incredible. It was physical

it was so intense. Having to realize or getting to the point where I could

accept that I had nothing to do with it, no control over him or what he

chose to do, was a huge milestone. The realization that his suicide was not

a personal assault against me was another. What he did had absolutely

nothing to do with me or anyone else. It was solely him; his choice, his

pain. At the point when he pulled that trigger nothing and no one else

existed for him outside of his pain. Suicide is a truly selfish act. Maybe

self-centric is a better word to describe it. The person doesn't and can't

see what their death is going to do to those left behind. They've gone way

beyond that point and have pulled into themselves.

Barbara

Re: Alison - boyfriends suic*de

>

>

> Anniversary dates, such as yours, are very difficult to get through.

> I am very sorry for your loss (((hugs))) !!! I honestly don't think

> there is any time frame for anyone to recover from such a loss, in

> fact, I would rather call this a work in progress. I hope you

> continue to get counseling for this as I don't believe that anyone

> would just get over this and to expect feelings and disruption in

> daily life around the anniversary date to cease forever.

>

> Dana Rose

[Guest guest]

Dear Barbara,

I am so sorry you have been through similar circumstances. It took me

years but I realize all those things you say are true. I do have some

things I a guilty about but not along the lines of I could have saved my

BF. The worste thing is just that I miss him and it feels liek my heart

is breakign sometimes literally. yes I know what you mean abotu this sort

of loss causing physical pain. It feels like drowning...and so does a

panic attack .

I am here for you if you want to express yourself on this topic ( or any

other)

love and strength form alison

On Tue, 30 Nov 2004 12:20:54 -0500 " Barbara " <bjarrett@...>

writes:

>

> >From experience I can say you're right about a lot of it. But I can

> also say

> this: It does get easier. It never goes away. But it does get

> better.

>

> Survivors of suicide have a lot of issues to work through. For me

> the

> biggest was the anger. And pain...the pain was incredible. It was

> physical

> it was so intense. Having to realize or getting to the point where I

> could

> accept that I had nothing to do with it, no control over him or what

> he

> chose to do, was a huge milestone. The realization that his suicide

> was not

> a personal assault against me was another. What he did had

> absolutely

> nothing to do with me or anyone else. It was solely him; his choice,

> his

> pain. At the point when he pulled that trigger nothing and no one

> else

> existed for him outside of his pain. Suicide is a truly selfish act.

> Maybe

> self-centric is a better word to describe it. The person doesn't and

> can't

> see what their death is going to do to those left behind. They've

> gone way

> beyond that point and have pulled into themselves.

>

> Barbara

>

>

> Re: Alison - boyfriends suic*de

>

>

> >

> >

> > Anniversary dates, such as yours, are very difficult to get

> through.

> > I am very sorry for your loss (((hugs))) !!! I honestly don't

> think

> > there is any time frame for anyone to recover from such a loss,

> in

> > fact, I would rather call this a work in progress. I hope you

> > continue to get counseling for this as I don't believe that

> anyone

> > would just get over this and to expect feelings and disruption in

> > daily life around the anniversary date to cease forever.

> >

> > Dana Rose

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

With a group such as this it's very hard to know what is a trigger and what

isn't. Anything could apply to any one person at any time. One cannot know

what are triggers....not for everyone.

There were a number of posts prior with this title, all dealing with

suicide. If suicide as a subject is a problem I'd avoid anything with that

in the subject line.

I'm puzzled as to what, exactly, was too graphic about this post.

Barbara

Re: Alison - boyfriends suic*de

>>

>>

>> >

>> >

>> > Anniversary dates, such as yours, are very difficult to get

> through.

>> > I am very sorry for your loss (((hugs))) !!! I honestly don't

> think

>> > there is any time frame for anyone to recover from such a loss, in

>> > fact, I would rather call this a work in progress. I hope you

>> > continue to get counseling for this as I don't believe that anyone

>> > would just get over this and to expect feelings and disruption in

>> > daily life around the anniversary date to cease forever.

>> >

>> > Dana Rose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

barbara,

you are right you can never know what may trigger someone.

anyway, if you would like to discuss this topic with me (or anyone else

also)..you can e-mail direct alisonjoan@...

On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 19:48:24 -0500 " Barbara " <bjarrett@...>

writes:

>

> With a group such as this it's very hard to know what is a trigger

> and what

> isn't. Anything could apply to any one person at any time. One

> cannot know

> what are triggers....not for everyone.

>

> There were a number of posts prior with this title, all dealing with

>

> suicide. If suicide as a subject is a problem I'd avoid anything

> with that

> in the subject line.

>

> I'm puzzled as to what, exactly, was too graphic about this post.

>

> Barbara

>

>

> Re: Alison - boyfriends suic*de

> >>

> >>

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > Anniversary dates, such as yours, are very difficult to get

> > through.

> >> > I am very sorry for your loss (((hugs))) !!! I honestly don't

> > think

> >> > there is any time frame for anyone to recover from such a loss,

> in

> >> > fact, I would rather call this a work in progress. I hope you

> >> > continue to get counseling for this as I don't believe that

> anyone

> >> > would just get over this and to expect feelings and disruption

> in

> >> > daily life around the anniversary date to cease forever.

> >> >

> >> > Dana Rose

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >