K's Hook-Up (long)

[Guest guest]

hello, everybody...

i was going to take the time to put together a post specifically

addressed to this lovely group, but am sooo POOPED after my 2nd day, i

just can't do it.

BUT! i figured i would copy-and-paste the " story " i e-mailed my

friends and family. most of them are CI-illiterate, so most of the

language is rather elementary. for this, i apologize, but am sure you

all know what it's like.

anyway, without further ado, here goes:

well, yesterday was QUITE the day... to say the least. hubby and i

showed up

at my audiologist's office for my hook-up. one of the other women working

there asked me if she could observe. i assume she's in training or

whatever

so i say i don't mind if she joins us. now it's hubby, my audiologist,

Judy,

and the other girl...

the first thing Judy tells me is to take off my hearing aid (from my right

ear) and then makes me promise not to wear it while i'm getting used to my

CI. i was expecting this, but still ask how long i would have to go

without

it. Judy tells me maybe 2 weeks... it all depends. she says, 'if you don't

wear your hearing aid and just practice hearing with your CI, you will

make

both our lives easier.' i get it... and am prepared (or so i think).

the first thing Judy does is plug the speech processor into her

computer so

she can hook it up to the programming software. the magnet is attached

to my

head and the microphone is looped over my ear. then Judy starts programing

the first map, which is determined by setting each of the 22 electrodes

inside my cochlea. first she tests the T-levels (threshold) to be loud

enough for me to be aware of a sound... and then she tests the C-levels

(comfort) so the sound is not too loud as to cause discomfort.

as Judy goes through the T-levels it takes a while b/c my tinnitus is

acting

up and i am having trouble distinguishing between the beeps from the

computer and the beeping in my head. the mapping for the C-levels seems to

go by much easier. it was even fun testing how loud i could handle the

beeping! and even though the tinnitus is annoying, i think i manage just

fine. i must mention that during this whole process, i can't hear a THING

(except for all beeping), so being able to lip-read Judy is a relief!

as soon as Judy is finished with the map, she says to me, 'okay, i'm going

to turn you on now.' earlier, the girl that was observing us said that i

looked really calm. i explained to her that 'i know what to expect

because i

ve done so much reading and research about it.' she was still

surprised that

i wasn't more nervous. maybe i thought i knew what to expect, but i

definitely was NOT prepared for what i heard when Judy switched the

processor on...

it was SOOO squeaky and " squeal-ey " and uncomfortable! i was taken

aback at

how AWFUL everything sounded. i looked at Judy and simply said i

didn't like

it. she looked so heartbroken, IMO. i know she wasn't taking it

personally,

but my reaction was obviously not pleasant. i asked for a tissue and the

tears started to fall. i was crying and crying because i just couldn't

STAND

the horrible noises i was hearing. it took me a second to realize that the

ghastly squeaky sounds were VOICES! Judy and Kathleen (another audiologist

who came to watch the hook-up) were talking to me... and it sounded

TERRIBLE

i honestly hated it. even though i *knew* that i shouldn't expect

people's

voices to sound natural, i definitely didn't expect them to be so

DISTURBING! the best way to describe the way Judy and Kathleen sounded was

like " Mickey Mouse on speed. " i can't think of anything worse than that...

it really was NOT a fun sensation.

i admit i didn't have my hopes up (or at least i didn't think i did), but

then again... i didn't realize i would actually DISLIKE the sounds i was

hearing. i even hated the sound of my OWN voice! granted, at least i *was*

hearing things, even if i didn't necessarily enjoy them. what made the

initial turn-on even more traumatic was the tinnitus. i told Judy that i

kept hearing this constant squealing sound that would not go away. i heard

this squealing *on top of* all the squeaky Mickey Mouse voices... it was

just icky. well, when Judy turned off the processor to adjust the map, i

STILL heard the squealing. Kathleen explained to me that it was my

tinnitus

and not any other noise from the outside. i was *not* happy about this at

all.

well, after i calmed down and let the sound wash over my " like a wave " (in

Kathleen's words), i managed to stop crying. little by little i was

starting

to make out some words being said. i did not understand specific

words, but

could discern speech. THEN Kathleen stood behind me and started talking

about the scab on my head from the incision (it hasn't fallen off yet

and is

really gross). i actually understood Kathleen saying, 'blah-blah-blah...

scab fell off... blah blah blah' and i was SO surprised! even Judy's eyes

popped out of her head. i guess that's a good thing, huh?

as i write this, i am at the end of my 2nd day wearing the processor and

things are MUCH better. i don't want to skip too far ahead by saying that

other voices sound better and that my own voice isn't as awful, either.

there is *so much* i am still absorbing... so much i'm still figuring

out...

so much i am still trying to make sense of... and the adventure has JUST

started! at least sounds are making more sense to me today than they did

yesterday, so i feel much better.

i'll keep posting more 'CI moments' on my web page, but right now it's

just

TOO overwhelming to include it all. my ear is *very* tired - as it

should be

from a long day of listening - so i must go to sleep...

g'night all!

~

Implanted: 1/4/05; Activated: 2/7/05

Implant: Nucleus® 24 Contour™

HOH Postlingual; bilateral HA user for 24 years