6 Month Update(LONG)

[Guest guest]

I never imagined what life would be like 6 months after having my lap-

band surgery. But, here I am. 6 months later and still loving the

journey. If you have time, or if you are interested, grab a glass of

water, sit back, relax, and read. I tend to get a little longwinded

at times so bear with me. I'm really doing this for all the new

people on board so they know about my journey and can, perhaps, learn

something about banded life. If you have kept up with me through my

past posts, you may want to skip this! lol

First of all, I am 43 years old and I have been overweight all my

life. I teach high school and I absolutely LOVE my job. I have two

wonderful sons (15 and almost 14) who create joy in my life on a

daily basis. I am married to a very supportive and encouraging

husband. I typically tell people that I live a basically stress free

life. My life is happy...very little controversy. However, inside,

I was miserable. I was fat. My health was terrible. I looked

awful. I didn't take care of myself. I didn't care about my

appearance. I figured everyone else saw me as this huge, fat person

who was worthless. But, then, I decided that no matter what other

people thought about me, my family loved and valued me so I needed to

stop the quickly moving downward spiral towards death from obesity

that I was on. Without trying to sound morbid, my mother died 2

years ago and I remember sitting in the funeral home taking care of

arrangements. I was holding together pretty well until the funeral

director told us that we would need to purchase an oversize casket

for her due to her size. I was so humiliated for her. I knew right

then and there that I had to do something drastic or that I would die

an early death simply from obesity. There is a book I read one time

called The Affluent Society ( Galbraith) and one of the

statements that I remember specifically from that book said

that " More die in the United States of too much food than of too

little. " I just had this fear gnawing at me that I wouldn't live

much longer. I was truly scared of dying.

It is amazing what fear can cause a person to do. Honest to God,

fear was the catalyst behind my decision to have this surgery. And,

you know what? I'm not scared anymore! No, there is no guarantee

that I will live for a long, long time but now I know that I won't

die an early death due to obesity! I will NOT die a fat person!!! I

WILL get to hold grandchildren one day. I will get to see my sons

turn into the fine young men that I dream they will become.

You know what else I'm not scared of? I'm not scared that I

won't fit into rides at amusement parks. I'm not scared of trying to

walk through turnstyles wherever those may be. I'm not afraid I

won't fit into a desk in a classroom. I'm not afraid that one of

those plastic lawn chairs will break when I sit down in it. I'm not

afraid that the seat belt on an airplane won't fit around me. I'M

NOT AFRAID anymore!!! I never realized what a HUGE problem fear was

for me before and it is rather sickening that it was all due to the

fact that I was FAT!!!

These 6 months have been the best 6 months of my life. Not only

have I been on a weightloss journey but, and probably more

importantly, I have been on a journey towards total self-acceptance,

complete inner happiness, and a true awakening. I honestly stand

amazed at what my life has already become and what it is becoming

each day. February 23...the date of my lap band...was a complete

rebirth.

The biggest changes I have made, naturally, have been with

food. Food is no longer the driving force behind my day to day

activities. I have actually found myself arranging my schedule each

day to make sure I get to go work out. Me??? Work out??? Oh my,

what an incredible change that has been! I always HATED exercise

with a total passion! Sitting around was much more satisfying!

You've been there, right?? I go to Curves at least 3 times a week

and I walk as often as I can (usually 4 days a week). I am committed

to this because it works! And, because I weigh so much less,

exercise doesn't hurt as much so I don't mind doing it like I used

to. But, back to food...

My favorite foods prior to surgery were hamburgers and french

fries. I haven't had these since. And I don't care. I never even

crave this food. I have had a couple of french fries but they don't

really work well with my band so I don't even want them. The actual

physical restriction has changed my mind and my appetite. Pizza? No

desire for it. In fact, I haven't eaten a piece of bread one single

time. No need for it. Diet Coke (which is all I used to drink)?

Haven't had one. The only drink I have now is water (except for my

Muscle Milk for breakfast). I drink about 3 liters of water per

day. AND I do not drink with my meals. I eat extremely small

portions of foods. I have to watch my reactions when we go out to

eat with friends because when I see the portion sizes that are served

I cannot imagine anyone being able to eat that much food in one

sitting! Then, I think about the fact that I would eat that much at

least 3 times a day and I am floored. I have decided that people are

right....Americans eat WAY TOO MUCH FOOD!!! Anyway...

There have been a few days that I have had to deal with what I

would consider to be extreme hunger. In asking Nina if this meant I

needed another fill, she explained to me (once again) that I needed

more protein. You know what??? She knows what she is talking

about! I added extra protein to my daily food intake and the hunger

subsided. Now, my meals (even though they are pretty dang small)

hold me over until time to eat a snack or another meal. That is the

key...PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN! Make sure you get enough.

I have watched my scale daily since surgery. Yeah, I

know...kind of obsessive and probably not the best idea BUT I can't

seem to stop. But you know what is exciting? The scale continues to

move down! It may not always be a fast as I want it to move but it

moves down! I stepped on the scale the day I decided to have this

surgery and I cried. I was at an all time high weight of 247

pounds. How did I let myself get like that??? The day before

surgery, and after having done the pre-op diet for 3 weeks, I weighed

in at 231. Today, I weigh 164. Six months...67 pounds! 83 if you go

all the way back to my heaviest weight of 247 in January. Who would

have ever thought THAT was possible??? I stand amazed each day.

Inches have fallen off. I always secretly wonder where the hell all

that skin goes!! Mind you, I still have alot of that hanging around

but lots of it has disappeared! Where does it go??? I have lost 68

inches. I have gone down 6-7 sizes in clothes. I have gone down 3

bra sizes. I have gone down one shoe size! I can't wear my rings

anymore. I had to have some links taken out of my favorite

bracelets. Everything has to be downsized!!! lol

The NSVs are just as exciting as watching the scale go down.

Going shopping is actually fun now since I can go into any store in

the mall and find clothes that fit. GAP, Old Navy, VICTORIA

SECRETS!!! And, I even let a friend go with me now that I don't

have to shop in the fat department. It's much more fun to go and try

on clothes with a girlfriend that going alone and sneaking into the

plus size department, praying no one would see you there! Speaking

of clothes, I used to wear only knit pants with the elastic waist

(what I typically call " MOM pants " ) NO MORE! I wear skirts most

everyday now. My thighs used to rub together way too much to be

comfortable in skirts for long periods of time but I don't even think

about that now! I'm actually very comfortable now in whatever I wear

(Yeah, even in the lingerie I bought from Secrets!!) So,

clothing is one NSV. There have been several. I remember lying on

the floor one time after my workout at Curves and I was able to feel

my rib cage and it was sticking out further than my stomach for the

first time ever! Now, I can actually feel my hip bones protruding

further than my belly!!! I don't think I have ever felt this!! I

can sit inside a students desk at school now. I can easily walk to

the back of a canoe now and not worry about it tipping over due to my

weight. I can actually wear a smaller sized life jacket (I always

hated those canoe rental places that would color-coordiate the

lifejackets by size...you know, blue for mediums, red for large,

yellow for extra large, and there I was in NEON orange, the color for

XXlarge, glowing all along the river for EVERYONE to see that I had

to have the largest life jacket they carried!!! HUMILIATING!) Last

time I went, I wore a black one....a SMALL!!! Another NSV I've had

was just the other day. At Curves, a woman said something to me that

I have NEVER heard directed towards me! I've heard it because I've

said it a million times about other people but this was a new

experience. We were both working out and she was huffing and puffing

and I wasn't. She kind of smiled and looked at me and commented

about her being worn out and I hadn't even broken a sweat! She

followed this by saying, " All you skinny people kill me! Y'all have

no idea how hard it is for fat people to do this!!! " I wanted to

jump up and give her a huge kiss on the cheek and hug around the

neck! I simply smiled and told her that I understood far more than

she realized! And left it at that. Imagine...someone calling me

skinny! Again, I stand amazed.

I could go on forever. Because of my weightloss journey, my

life is so much better. I have come to realize (although I assumed

this to be true before losing weight but now I know for certain) that

the world is much nicer to smaller people. There are so many ways in

which overweight people are actually discriminated against in our

society that we don't even think about. Who decided that turnstyles

have to be so small that obese people cannot get through them but

have to walk through the gate to the side? Why did the admissions

counselor at one of the finest math and science boarding schools in

our state turn down my student for admissions when she exceeded all

of the entrance requirements? He told her " she just didn't fit the

picture of ASMS students. " She weighs almost 400 pounds. Who

decided that life jackets had to be color coordinated by size? Who

decided that larger clothing had to be put in seperate departments in

department stores? Who decided that larger size clothing stores have

to have names like Added Dimensions? Nothing like adding to the

already inferior feelings all of us with weight problems have had.

My journey continues. I have 19 more pounds to go. I've had one

fill (1.3ccs) and may not need another one. Every month I think I

need one but, then I look at my weight and I'm still losing. I

secretly hope that I need just one more fill so I can have an excuse

to go back to Mexicali....the place of my rebirth!) Maybe I just

need to take a trip back to say THANKS! Thanks for my new life!

To all who have gone before me, thank you for your words of

wisdom that you constantly post on this site. To all who have had

the band placed recently, I wish you continued success. To all those

scheduled, you won't regret this decision. And finally, to all of you

trying to decide if this is for you, I hope you can come to a

conclusion very soon. If you decide upon the lap band, you have the

greatest journey ahead of you. Be prepared, though, for a much

happier, healthier life ahead! The journey is worth the effort.

So, as I always say, LIFE IS GREAT!

Jenni H. Currie

DOB 2/23/06 (New photos posted)

231/164/145 (maybe lowered once I get to this goal)

Fill 5/13/06 1.3ccs

lost 68 inches

gained a ton of joy!!