Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or " At 180lbs, my life was a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's issues are as great to them as the next guys, but those who started this at 300 or more lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those remarks. Many people would actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! The comments may make the larger bunch feel as though they are STILL inferior. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Well, I think some people shouldn’t be so sensitive. This is an open forum and we support everybody here, not matter what they weigh. Everyone’s body issues and weight issues are all relative. I have a friend who weights 125. Sounds perfect, right? Well, not to her. She is used to weighting 98. She is miserable and upset and I completely understand how she feels. She feels just the same way I do. We are not judging each other here, we are judging ourselves. Stop judging yourself and maybe then you will stop feeling inferior. Do not blame your own issues on others comments. Support them, learn from them and use them in your own journey. I only weight 214.5 pounds and proud of it. Good luck to you. . From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of miamiangel888 Sent: Friday, December 29, 2006 8:02 AM Subject: Insensitive Comments I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or " At 180lbs, my life was a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's issues are as great to them as the next guys, but those who started this at 300 or more lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those remarks. Many people would actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! The comments may make the larger bunch feel as though they are STILL inferior. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 I hear you and thank you for sharing your feelings...that's the best part of this group--it's OK to say what you FEEL. Feelings are not right or wrong and it is healthy to express them. In a chat I once wrote please don't hate me because I don't have 200 pounds to lose and Kelli, psichikel, the warrior woman assure me " there are no haters here. " She has lost 180 pounds and was banded after I was. If I had lost 180 lbs I would only weigh 41 lbs. right now!! She has been working at wieght loss and has done marvelously well. I have been working on how I feel about myself and my body and I too have done well AND she is much closer to her goal than I am to mine. Please don't anybody read into what someone else writes. If I feel like a whale or a blimp, well that's how I FEEL and it does not mean anything about anyone else. This is a support group and I imagine all of us have felt the sting of insensitive people who HAVE made passive-aggressive comments and/or treated the overweight as second-class citizens. AND may we all never become self-righteous because we are lucky enough to have found Dr. A and his team and benefitted from their expertise and their care. Again, thanks for sharing your feelings and I hope you are always thinking about re-evaluating your journey and the possibility of re-framing what you hear or read so you can re-evaluate your feelings. PS. I am joining the exercise challenge and going to start working on improving my level of fitness and getting closer to goal. Gloria Satchell DOB 12/21/05 221/175/140 > > I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many > of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. > For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to > lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your > weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say > things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or " At 180lbs, my life was > a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious > weight problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 WOW this is Intense conversation I don't want any one getting mad at me I see what you are saying and to a point I can see what miamiangle is saying depending were people are at or whether they are having trouble staying with the program they might be alittle sensitive being heavy your whole life can be very disturbing to the way you think,It takes time to not think like a heavy person anymore.We all here are on the right path and should not take offense to comments we are all in the same boat and are all brother and sister bandsters and as many as you know brothers and sisters aren't going to all agree. So lets Do a big group hug ((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))) and be happy. I may not say much but I read it all every day and look forward to it you have no idea how much you help.. So here is another HUG ((((((((((HUG))))))))) HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!! miamiangel888 <miamiangel888@...> wrote: I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many of you, but I feel it should be said anyway.For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say things like, "I'm such a whale at 200lbs!" or "At 180lbs, my life was a mess." It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's issues are as great to them as the next guys, but those who started this at 300 or more lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those remarks. Many people would actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less!The comments may make the larger bunch feel as though they are STILL inferior.Just a thought. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2006 Report Share Posted December 30, 2006 Kelli, I love hearing how much you have lost, and how far you have come. My cousin is 5 ‘3 and she once weighed 300lbs. Her BMI was higher of course then someone 5’4 weighing the same. It is all in the BMI. But also I will say this, a long time ago I used to get mad at my “skinny” friends who “only” had 20lbs to lose. That was before I had the band and to tell you the truth, I got mad because I was jealous. I wished I “only” had 20lbs to lose. The fact of the matter is, weather you have 10lbs or 100lbs weight is more then a physical thing and we all know it. It is so much more a mental thing then we care to admit. Even now I head straight for the plus size section at wal-mart, and I forget things like my feet aren’t fat anymore, I CAN wear boots! The other day I saw a cute shirt on someone and a thought occurred to me “I wish I was small enough to wear that” and later I found out it was a size 18. MY GOD will my brain ever catch up with my body? M DOB 3/1/05 280/160/158 under goal! 122lbs GONE! 5ft 6in, Size 8 http://www.tracyslapband.com From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Kelli Sent: Friday, December 29, 2006 2:23 PM Subject: Re: Insensitive Comments Hi , I think I can shed some light on this subject matter. Being I started at 370lbs, and only 5'3 " it was tough to hear people who were much less weight than me say the same things, when I too wished I could be there. However, I know alot of people who started at a lower weight but had a great deal more co-morbidities than I had...so in perspective, I think I was a bit lucky on that end. It is still tough to see people only having to lose maybe 60lbs and I have over 200lbs to lose for my goal weight, but then I think of it as I am glad that they are enjoying life and are able to reverse some of the bad effects of obesity. When it all boils down, we are all in the same top-heavy boat at first but in time we are able to stablize our weight. I rejoice with everyone here, no matter where they start out at...we are family. I do feel weird when I tell how much I've lost, and I know there are others that haven't lost as much...like i feel guilty for losing weight. So, perhaps someone reading my posts may feel irritated or frustrated, but I have yet to hear any negative comments. I have received kind, supportive remarks throughout my journey. Just remember, you have to focus on your goals and not anyone elses, cause if you fall into that trap you'll never be happy with yourself. This a time for revelation and acceptance of the old " self " and the new " self. " Let me tell ya, I'm enjoying the attention now...hehehe especially at the gym! Take Care , we are all hear to support you...don't feel that you cannot voice out your frustrations, this is a messageboard, and it doesn't always have to be cheery, cause life is not always cheery...so feel free to express how you feel. For those of us, perhaps we've forgotten those days since we've lost alot of weight...let's not be too hasty when someone comments out of frustration...we've all been down that road too. Kelli > > I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many > of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. > For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to > lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your > weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say > things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or " At 180lbs, my life was > a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious > weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's issues are as great > to them as the next guys, but those who started this at 300 or more > lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those remarks. Many people would > actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! > The comments may make the larger bunch feel as though they are STILL > inferior. > > Just a thought. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2006 Report Share Posted December 31, 2006 Ok folks, on the mind catching up with the body thing. There are several books that are just great, I just bought them and mailed them to my cousin who had a by pass in March. She will then mail them back to me in 3 to 5 months when I will be needed the brain adjustment. But this is something I read. Have a full length mirror, stand in front every day. Repeart the pounds you've lost to yourself and what size you are currently wearing. I think it is very important to accept the new you, if you don't I fear some folks will subconsciencely go back to the old them as it is more comfortable, fight this, and fight this hard. Buy the books, take a sexy dance class and look in the mirrow often. Catch up with the new you and like her or him. Now remember, all of you, in 3 to 5 months, I will need this lecture repeated back to me ok so someone save it and get it ready. hugs karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Miamiangel, I’m sorry you were unable to take comfort from all the posts that responded to your message. I’m sorry you feel the way you do. It sounds like a terrible burden and it’s got you very upset. I hope it gets better for you. When somebody posts about them selves, that is who they are talking about, themselves. So I wont be changing the way I word stuff just in case you might be reading posts. It would be impossible for everybody here and unreasonable to expect them to try to word their personal posts to please somebody in particular. Take care of yourself and I wish you luck on your journey, because that’s what it is, YOUR journey. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of miamiangel888 Sent: Friday, December 29, 2006 12:45 PM Subject: Re: Insensitive Comments It's not about the who has more weight to lose to begin with, how tall you are in comparison to your weight or your self-esteem issues that I was referring to. It is the way in which it is worded. To say, " I was a 200lb whale! " is equivalent to a tall person saying, " short people are so ugly. " to a midget. I was wondering if the comments can be tailored to the person. You can say, " at 200lbs I felt like a whale. " " For me that was too much weight to carry. " The number itself is not what makes a person fat or thin, so the reference should be to yourself, not the poundage. > > I realize that this will probably kick up quite a ruckus amongst many > of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. > For those of you who only went into this journey with 50 or 60 lbs to > lose, I think it's great that you stopped yourselves before your > weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, but when you say > things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or " At 180lbs, my life was > a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us with much more serious > weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's issues are as great > to them as the next guys, but those who started this at 300 or more > lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those remarks. Many people would > actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! > The comments may make the larger bunch feel as though they are STILL > inferior. > > Just a thought. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 I'm so with you on that one, I'm the worst speller, I thank god every day for spell checker in my reg email, sure wish had it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Hee, Hee...hee...maybe I spoke to soon. --- Elam <welam@...> wrote: > . Thak good nobodi getz on mi aboot me spellin. > That's a whole other > issue. LOL. > > > > > > _____ > > From: > [mailto: ] On > Behalf Of B. > Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 1:35 PM > > Subject: RE: Re: Insensitive > Comments > > > > , > Thank you, you put that very well. > I for one am one of the people that look forward to > the day that I will be at, or under 200 lbs. I have > never once taken it as abusive or insensitive when > someone comments on their situation. We all have to > realize that what each person is talking about is > THEIR situation...people on this message board are > trying to bring up a point, express a view or an > experience. They do not alway's spell everything > correctly, or use the correct punctuation - some get > on them about that...PLEASE...this is not an English > class and although everyone should do their best to > be > correct, it is better to express the thought then be > at the top of the class. Recently there was an > e-mail > when someone spelled one word and meant another. I > am > so glad that there were not 50 e-mails about that. > Come on - We are here to help each other over > hurdles > and try to reassure the next person. If someone is > going to take something so personally that they > think > that every e-mail is directed at them, then they > should not be reading this message board. > > --- Elam <welamhobaica (DOT) > <mailto:welam%40hobaica.com> com> wrote: > > > Miamiangel, I'm sorry you were unable to take > > comfort from all the posts > > that responded to your message. I'm sorry you feel > > the way you do. It > > sounds like a terrible burden and it's got you > very > > upset. I hope it gets > > better for you. When somebody posts about them > > selves, that is who they are > > talking about, themselves. So I wont be changing > > the way I word stuff just > > in case you might be reading posts. It would be > > impossible for everybody > > here and unreasonable to expect them to try to > word > > their personal posts to > > please somebody in particular. Take care of > > yourself and I wish you luck on > > your journey, because that's what it is, YOUR > > journey. > > > > > > > > > > > > From: > <mailto:%40> > > > [mailto: > <mailto:%40> > ] On > > Behalf Of miamiangel888 > > Sent: Friday, December 29, 2006 12:45 PM > > > <mailto:%40> > > > Subject: Re: Insensitive > > Comments > > > > > > > > It's not about the who has more weight to lose to > > begin with, how tall you > > are in comparison to your weight or your > self-esteem > > issues that I was > > referring to. It is the way in which it is worded. > > > To say, " I was a 200lb > > whale! " is equivalent to a tall person saying, > > " short people are so ugly. " > > to a midget. I was wondering if the comments can > be > > tailored to the person. > > You can say, " at 200lbs I felt like a whale. " " For > > me that was too much > > weight to carry. " The number itself is not what > > makes a person fat or thin, > > so the reference should be to yourself, not the > > poundage. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I realize that this will probably kick up quite > a > > ruckus amongst many > > > of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. > > > For those of you who only went into this journey > > with 50 or 60 lbs to > > > lose, I think it's great that you stopped > > yourselves before your > > > weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, > > but when you say > > > things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or > " At > > 180lbs, my life was > > > a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us > > with much more serious > > > weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's > > issues are as great > > > to them as the next guys, but those who started > > this at 300 or more > > > lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those > remarks. > > Many people would > > > actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! > > > The comments may make the larger bunch feel as > > though they are STILL > > > inferior. > > > > > > Just a thought. > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Miamiangel... >>Or better yet, just keep saying whatever you're going to say, in whatever way you want to, in the pitiful grammatical way that you guys do and I will just keep reading and laughing at your horrible Language skills.<< This might not be the best attempt I have seen to get people to be more PC. Might want to think about that. There are two kinds of writing, formal and informal. Message boards are considered to be informal writing. I don't take the time to proofread, my thinking is that if it isn't spelled correctly, sound it out. If one is not willing to do that, don't read my emails. When I write a professional letter I proofread and spell check. This ain't a professional letter. By the way, it is generally accepted that a full space should be placed between paragraphs and psychoanalyze is not hyphenated. Cheers. > > > > > > > > > > I realize that this will probably kick up quite > > > a > > > > ruckus amongst many > > > > > of you, but I feel it should be said anyway. > > > > > For those of you who only went into this journey > > > > with 50 or 60 lbs to > > > > > lose, I think it's great that you stopped > > > > yourselves before your > > > > > weight became a larger hindrance in your lives, > > > > but when you say > > > > > things like, " I'm such a whale at 200lbs! " or > > > " At > > > > 180lbs, my life was > > > > > a mess. " It doesn't bode well with those of us > > > > with much more serious > > > > > weight problems. Now I am aware that everyone's > > > > issues are as great > > > > > to them as the next guys, but those who started > > > > this at 300 or more > > > > > lbs might feel somewhat slighted at those > > > remarks. > > > > Many people would > > > > > actually love to weigh ONLY 200lbs or less! > > > > > The comments may make the larger bunch feel as > > > > though they are STILL > > > > > inferior. > > > > > > > > > > Just a thought. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 When a large group of people read something and only one of those people chooses to take offense, this indicates that the writer is communicating effectively with their audience and the one offended person is an outlier. People who cater their message to the sensitivities of the outliers end up with bland stories devoid of meaning and authenticity. Now a more interesting issue would be why you find yourself in the position of an outlier. Is it because you are so much more intelligent than everyone else that you were the only person to recognize that the comments were actually insensitive? A person who was truly that much more intelligent than everyone else, would surely know that yelling at everyone and telling them how wrong they are would be useless because everyone else wouldn't have the intelligence to create a true meeting of the minds with such a superior being. Since you did waste your time yelling at everyone and trying to convince them of the validity of your position, we can safely deduce that you do not possess a superior intelligence. Since you do not possess a superior intelligence, what is it that makes you an outlier? I propose that you may be an outlier on the lower end of the curve for the measure of skin thickness. It appears that while most of the people reading this group have skins with a normal thickness and a few outliers on the upper end of the curve have extremely thick skin like myself, you may find yourself on the extreme left side of the graph with almost paper thin skin. This thin skinned malady can cause extreme discomfort, but unfortunately it cannot be cured with medications. I would recommend you see a competent mental health professional because, as silly as this sounds, they are best at treating this kind of skin affliction. Good luck and god speed. miamiangel888 wrote: > > > If you guys would STOP trying to psycho-analyze everything I say on > here you may actually read the posts and get the point! > I am NOT taking the comments directed right at me, I mentioned that > the way they are worded is not only insensitive, it is rude. I > happen to think smoking is a loathsome, vile habit. However, I would > not say SMOKERS are loathsome and vile people. I say that the habit > itself it disgusting! Therefore I feel when someone says a 200lb > woman is a whale, they are saying that anyone who weighs THAT MUCH is > not human! Say YOU feel like a whale, don't say that EVERYONE at > that weight is gross. > Or better yet, just keep saying whatever you're going to say, in > whatever way you want to, in the pitiful grammatical way that you > guys do and I will just keep reading and laughing at your horrible > Language skills. > Have a great New Year everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Let’s just put this out there. Miamiangel is just trying to rile us up for her own entertainment. Strange, but true. We’ve had others try to do this before. We are stronger than them. We are all of the same opinion regarding her posts and she doesn’t belong here. Please ignore her, don’t respond to her and she’ll eventually go away. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of G. Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 8:58 AM To: Subject: Re: Re: Insensitive Comments When a large group of people read something and only one of those people chooses to take offense, this indicates that the writer is communicating effectively with their audience and the one offended person is an outlier. People who cater their message to the sensitivities of the outliers end up with bland stories devoid of meaning and authenticity. Now a more interesting issue would be why you find yourself in the position of an outlier. Is it because you are so much more intelligent than everyone else that you were the only person to recognize that the comments were actually insensitive? A person who was truly that much more intelligent than everyone else, would surely know that yelling at everyone and telling them how wrong they are would be useless because everyone else wouldn't have the intelligence to create a true meeting of the minds with such a superior being. Since you did waste your time yelling at everyone and trying to convince them of the validity of your position, we can safely deduce that you do not possess a superior intelligence. Since you do not possess a superior intelligence, what is it that makes you an outlier? I propose that you may be an outlier on the lower end of the curve for the measure of skin thickness. It appears that while most of the people reading this group have skins with a normal thickness and a few outliers on the upper end of the curve have extremely thick skin like myself, you may find yourself on the extreme left side of the graph with almost paper thin skin. This thin skinned malady can cause extreme discomfort, but unfortunately it cannot be cured with medications. I would recommend you see a competent mental health professional because, as silly as this sounds, they are best at treating this kind of skin affliction. Good luck and god speed. miamiangel888 wrote: > > > If you guys would STOP trying to psycho-analyze everything I say on > here you may actually read the posts and get the point! > I am NOT taking the comments directed right at me, I mentioned that > the way they are worded is not only insensitive, it is rude. I > happen to think smoking is a loathsome, vile habit. However, I would > not say SMOKERS are loathsome and vile people. I say that the habit > itself it disgusting! Therefore I feel when someone says a 200lb > woman is a whale, they are saying that anyone who weighs THAT MUCH is > not human! Say YOU feel like a whale, don't say that EVERYONE at > that weight is gross. > Or better yet, just keep saying whatever you're going to say, in > whatever way you want to, in the pitiful grammatical way that you > guys do and I will just keep reading and laughing at your horrible > Language skills. > Have a great New Year everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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