There and Back Again: A SHHH'ers Tale

June 17, 2004

THERE AND BACK AGAIN

" A SHHH-ers Tale "

I hate to fly. I HATE TO FLY. I think that statement echoes many a

HoH person's feelings about travel. BWI is a big ol' airport! But

I'm very glad to say that my experience has been that the signs are

conspicuous and well lit, and are up-to-date in regards to departures

and arrivals. Signs to " check-in " , gates and security are easy to

understand. My children told me that even a hearing person could

understand the announcer on the loud speaker. My husband, well

traveled individual that he is, took his family in tow and had us in

and out of check-in very quickly. We were traveling with 12 bags, 4

of which were carry-on, so I anxiously counted bags and re-counted as

they disappeared from my view on the conveyor belt. One quick prayer

that they'd actually make it to Omaha, and we headed for the gates.

I had been dreading security for over a week. My last experience was

horrible. My HA's set off the metal detector, and I was shuffled

into a bullet-proof, plexi-glass tube with other " suspicious " looking

characters to await my turn to be searched. I still have nightmares

about it! I was so relieved I went through the detector without any

bells and whistles going off, I actually turned to the security

guard, pointed to my HA's and asked, " I didn't set it off? " What a

dumb question. He waved me on to my family who had already situated

themselves to be waiting indefinitely. My husband closed the book

he'd just opened with a VERY surprised look on his face. " You got

through? " (No dear, I vaulted over the officer whose gun was drawn

and sprinted into the crowds to remain undetected and anonymous in

the sea of rushing travelers!)

We changed planes in Minneapolis/St. . What a tiny airport!

That's not a complaint, mind you…… it made finding the next gate very

easy. We didn't even have to run, and merely walked very fast. My

husband, Terry, tapped me to get my attention and mouthed, " OJ

Simpson " and prepared to vault over some seats in the waiting area.

I gave him a " look " ……. You know the kind! The, " if you dare make a

fool of yourself in public and I have to pick your broken body up off

the floor and cart you to the ER, I'll wring your neck " kind of

look. He opted to forego the jump; besides our kids have no idea who

OJ Simpson is and it would not have been very exciting to have to

explain to your children those old commercials from post-op.

As we approached Omaha, I was in awe of all the acres of farmland

below. Truly, we were arriving in the mid-west. I saw " Omaha Steak "

signs from the air as we landed! My son repeated everything the

captain said over the intercom to me, and I noticed my husband waking

up from across the isle. Omaha! O! was a symbol we soon recognized

all over the city. We quickly rented a vehicle; " quickly " because my

husband does everything online and had taken care of all the details

before we even arrived. The convention center was within a couple of

miles from the airport, so we soon were checking into the hotel. The

Qwest convention center was beautiful! The center had very distinct

architecture, and could be seen from miles away. I learned that this

new structure was part of a re-vitalization project for downtown

Omaha.

… And Back Again.

I wish I could say our trip back was as uneventful! Omaha, being a

smaller airport, lacked the sophisticated security checkpoints that

BWI had. Security actually checks through your luggage at the

reservation desk! For those of you who don't travel a great deal, I

will explain. LONG lines and signs with magnetic letters instead of

computer screens informed us of the " latest information " . In the 28

minutes we waited in line, I never saw anyone change the magnetic

letters, so I assume no changes were made. As we finally approached

the first security guard, he asked how many bags we had. I

chirped, " 12 bags, 4 are carry-on " . His eyebrows rose and he

motioned us to one side and took our bags. He and 3 other officers

took our luggage to an area in front of registration. I could write

a book about this experience! I'll shorten it for the sake of this

post, to say everyone now knows what color panties I wear, and every

single one of my ALD's was carefully examined and taken apart. The

skies are safe from this HoH terrorist.

On to security, and I was not as lucky this time through. Bells and

whistles, at least I gathered that as my family got whiplash as they

turned with horrified expressions towards me as I exited the

detector. A lady security guard approached me and I immediately

tapped my METALIC badge that says, " Please face me. I read lips! "

She was very kind and took me by the elbow over to a search area.

She pointed to a seat with pictures on it of a person with both feet

raised and another stick figure running a detector wand over their

feet. I figured I was in good shape if everything was going to be in

pictures. I sat, stuck my feet out and she quickly scanned my

shoes. " G-U-M….. " she enunciated with a grin. Sure enough, gum on

the bottom of my left tennis shoe. Knowing it was NOT the gum that

had set off the detectors, I explained that I was " wired for sound "

as she took me over to the next area. " No problem, I'm sure it's

nothing " , she explained.

The next carpet had a pair of feet on it about 30 inches apart.

While wondering what a short-legged person might do in this

situation, I placed my feet on the " foot prints " on the carpet. The

security guard carefully explained to me face-to-face that she needed

me to stand with my arms out to the side, (which she demonstrated)

and that she would use the wand to scan my person. My family, waited

to the side. My daughter, Kyersten, looked horrified with a very

worried expression. My son, was already looking for his " Game

Boy " . My husband caught my eyes and smiled. Not the " I'm going to

tease you about this later " kind of glance, but " calm down Honey………

this is a piece of cake! " So with deep breath I waited as the guard

scanned me from the front. My badge, HA's, etc., all caused her to

shake her head in the affirmative. (If they'd asked I could have

told them! But they are doing their job, so I understood the need to

be careful!) She then went behind me to repeat the procedure. She

tapped me and said something. As I didn't have eyes in the back of

my head, I craned my neck around toward her and said, " Excuse me? "

She repeated herself, and I still didn't catch it.

" I'm sorry, I can't see you, " I stated emphatically. She came around

in front of me and said with careful pronunciation, " It was your B-R-

A. Your BRA! No problem! "

I disagreed, as I saw my family's wide-eyed reaction to this

announcement. I didn't have to ask if she'd shouted the news.

Several grins from numerous directions informed me that many had

heard this statement, although I had not! Oh well. This same crowd

had seen my underwear 30 minutes ago.

Through security and on to the gate! There we discovered Dr. Sam

Trychin and wife Janet, Toni Barrient from SHHH national, " Emma " a

SHHH'er from Alaska, and two CHHA leaders waiting at the same gate.

Even though we were all exhausted from a long, but exciting week, we

shared convention stories for almost an hour. We then discovered our

flight had been cancelled. Evidently severe storms in the Detroit

area, necessitated that our flight would be delayed….. until

tomorrow. Oh well…….. Omaha is a great place to spend another

night. And just think of all the people who will get to see all of

our " unmentionables " tomorrow!

Portis

Frederick County SHHH

Frederick, MD

June 17, 2004

Great Post, . Thank you so much. Please keep them coming. <smile>

Alice

From: Portis<mailto:RUPraying@...>