Your advice please

[Guest guest]

Hello group,

I'd like to ask your advice please.

I'm pretty new to EFT, about 6 months of using it consistently on

myself and also on some problems within my friends and family group

with some success.

Now however I'm facing a challenge which is rather daunting and I

would be grateful for some advice from those who have helped people

with big issues.

Brief background is that 8 years ago, my next door neighbour was

brutally murdered, it turned out to be one of their son's friends who

had stabbed her over 60 times. This boy was 15 at the time, he was

tried and he pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 7 years but would

never admit to anybody why he did it.

This lady's eldest son was the person who found her. He cycled home

from school, opened the door with his key and found that terrible

scene before his eyes. He was also 15 at the time. Some counselling

was made available to him and his brother and father, who was

separated from his mother at the time, but they only attended a few

times.

This lad, who is now 23, was always a quiet and deep thinking person.

He has made a life for himself, attending college and having a

girlfriend living with him. But the relationship has deteriorated

lately and his girlfriend left.

About a month ago his brother visited him and found him very upset

and disconnected, crying frequently. He called their father, who

visited him (he lives in another city about 70 miles away to be near

the college). The lad didn't seem to be too upset at that stage, but

when visiting home 3 days ago he seemed to disintegrate altogether,

his father took him to the local family doctor and his doctor said he

thought he should be admitted to the mental ward of the local

hospital for observation.

So he was admitted yesterday, given drugs to calm him and is to see a

consultant psychiatrist today. I visited him with his father

yesterday evening in the hospital and in his own words, he is " not

doing very well " . He says his thoughts are all messed up, he feels

highly anxious but doesn't know why and is shaking internally and

also visibly shaking, which I could see. This despite being given

drugs to calm him. I took his hand to soothe him and received the

sensation of electricity inside him which was chaotic. It immediately

made me think of EFT and how it might be used to help him.

I have always had a good rapport with this lad, both he and his

brother were close friends with my own sons of the same age, and I

have tried to support him in any way I could since his mother's

death. He is very open and at ease with me and I think he would be

prepared to work with me.

My feeling is that he has never confronted the trauma of his mother's

death properly, especially about finding her like that. He may be

blaming himself (the perpetrator was a friend of his), repressing

anger at the perpetrator and/or blocking out the horror of what he

saw. Maybe all these and more besides. Also his girlfriend leaving

him recently probably tipped the balance.

The psychiatrist will probably prescribe drugs for him and schedule

counselling sessions. I would also like to try EFT to help him. My

query to you good people is on where do I start, what set-up and

reminder phrases would you suggest to use, would the tell-the-story

method be good for this situation (my feeling is that it might be

overwhelming in the first instance).

Of course I'm also tapping myself for lack of confidence to try the

EFT techniques, fear of making him feel worse, fear of looking

foolish etc.

I will wait and see what the psychiatrist recommends and probably

wait until the lad is discharged from hospital, then I can visit him

daily in his home and can work through the trauma with him in a more

relaxing atmosphere than a hospital ward.

So I would like to have a good idea of how best to approach this

problem with him, and would be most grateful for any suggestions you

can offer.

Thanking you in advance,

Helen