A Little About Me - Sent To Me From

[Guest guest]

When I was 3 years old I came down with a terrible fever. I am unsure of the

actual cause ... it was said to be from Scarlet Fever. I lost quite a bit of

hearing then but it took 2 years before my mother convinced my father and I was

fitted with a hearing aid. At the time it was thought amplification on one side

would suffice even though I had an identical bi-lateral loss. My hearing loss

was around 75% with a great deal of tinitus. I remember hitting my head as a

young child trying to get the noise out.

I was mainstreamed and muddled my way through school. When I started Junior High

I hid my hearing aids. Elementary aged children had taught me it wasn’t so cool

to be different and I wanted to be sure I blended in at my new school. By the

last year of middle school I was elected Vice President of the student council

and realized I was not and underdog at all. I attended ECU after finishing high

school, majoring in Speech Language and Auditory Pathology. I fooled the faculty

quite well ... they had no idea I was so hard of hearing. When we were testing

each other’s hearing for an audiology class they stumbled upon it and told me I

was too deaf to be in the field. I defied them and went o n to graduate. While I

was studying I had learned sigh language. I took to it very quickly and began

making friends who were also deaf for the first time in my life. After

graduating I moved to New York City and worked at the NYC School for the Deaf.

While there I decided Deaf Education would be a better career choice and began

working on my Master’s degree at New York University. There were other deaf

people in my classes so I began using an interpreter by default. It made things

so much easier for me. By the end of my degree I was teaching American Sign

Language at NYU.

After the birth of my first child I moved to California. There I taught in a

variety of programs. I attended University of the Pacific for my K-12 Teaching

Credential. While there I established elementary and high school programs for

deaf and hard of hearing children and was a Mentor Teacher for 3 years. At the

High School level I also established a sign language program for hearing

students. In 1993 I came back to North Carolina and accepted a teaching

assignment at the Middle School level. I decided it was time to push myself a

bit and applied to University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill for acceptance

into the Educational Leadership doctoral program. While in this program I

realized my hearing loss had progressed so much I could not longer " get by " . I

made my first formal request for a sign language interpreter. When I was fitted

for new hearing aids I had lost another 15 dB of hearing across the board.

Within 5 years my hearing worsened even more. It was obvious hearing aids were

no longer very helpful. Yet I wrestled with the idea of getting a cochlear

implant. I had made many deaf friends and after one year in the doctoral program

I was interning as the Director of Curriculum and Instruction and the Central NC

School for the Deaf. It seemed that now my hearing loss and what I did about was

a political issue that determined where I fit in within the deaf community.

After one year in this position I became the director of Early Intervention

Programs for children who were Deaf or Hard of Hearing for the state of North

Carolina. I was also Director of accountability for all three schools for the

deaf. I developed the " Report Card " for the three schools, which reported

student achievement by North Carolina testing standards. Many issues arose out

of directing these two programs. With the research I did on the early

intervention programs it was apparent consistency was no present in signing

classrooms. The Auditory Oral programs demonstrated a much more solid ground in

training and presentation. In addition, the three Schools for the Deaf were

extremely low performing. After measuring performance for 4 years there was

little growth.

As a person who was progressively becoming deaf it presented a personal and

professional dilemma. Serving on the board for BEGINNINGS I was expected to be

non-biased. It was quite an internal tug of war. I left the educational field

when the Schools and preschool programs were removed from the Division of

Services for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing and placed under a newly created

Division of Education in the Department of Health and Human Services. Staff felt

that they needed to have leadership that was solely focused on Auditory Oral

programs. Little did they know I had been contemplating a cochlear implant all

along.

I became the Program Developer for Hard of Hearing Services and Assistive

Technology for the state of North Carolina. Yet all the while I continued to

lose hearing. It is hard to say what made me feel it was the right time but I

just seemed to know. I was losing the ability to hear everyone and everything. I

could see how frustrated everyone was around me. I knew communication was a 2

way street and I just couldn’t hold my end up. I talked to my deaf friends. I

had a few that felt passionately against it. I had some who were respectful of

my wishes. My family wanted it very much. So in the spring of 2003 I decided to

go ahead with the surgery and go in for my evaluation.

During testing it was determined that I had 8% comprehension in my left ear with

the hearing and 29% in my right ear. I qualified. I was so excited. It was like

having a baby. You’re not sure what to expect but you know it’s going to be

good!! Surgery was June 4th. It went so smoothly. I was in at 2pm and on my way

home at 6. I just couldn’t believe it went so well. I had some discomfort but

considering what they did to my head it was very minor. Three weeks later I was

turned on. We did it a bit early because I was going to Sweden. I got turned on

and 2 hours later was lifting off. I stopped in Pennsylvania to visit my

parents. I wanted so much to hear my mother’s voice. I can’t say the plane was

much fun to listen to but here are some of my first sounds:

First Sounds

Peoples voices walking by

Hearing in the car in the dark

Rustling of plastic (I hate this one)

Little puppy paws on a wood floor

Bubbles popping in a glass of soda

The crunch of an apple

Water running

Sound of voices in the other room

All those s’s people make

Crickets at night

My mother and I cried tears of joy and my father continually " tested " my hearing

from different places in the house. I was amazed!!! My only regret was having

waited so long. Every little sound was so fascinating. Trying to figure out what

it was and where it was coming from was just wonderful. I was truly blessed.

Now it has been a year. I went from hearing 8% of the words in sentences without

lip reading to over 90% and now realize now my " good ear " isn’t so good after

all. I am trying to get the other ear implanted. I want to hear everything in

full stereo!! All my deaf friends are excited for me. They are still my dear

dear friends. Nothing changed except now I can hear. It presents a dilemma for

me as an educator but personally there are no regrets and many, many joys!!!

Ragin