[Tap 'n B Free] Re: For entede2000

[Guest guest]

Hi E!!!

What a shift in you huh? Hope is a wonderful thing!!! I have a few

comments, your life reads alot like mine, favouritism in childhood, abusive

marriage etc. I dont know anyone who has agoraphobia who hasn't been

through abuse of some kind. I also wondered what happened to you at 16, you

referred to feeling that way inside. Was there something traumatic then

that kept part of you frozen in time?

OK, as for the tapping, there are many places to start and to begin with I

used to tap on not believing EFT could work for me, that would be my

starting point. Its like getting under that lid of doubt and trust. From

what you've said here, you could maybe tap on your algebra equation and the

equals sign if you feel its a good metaphor for whats happening, or tap for

not knowing what you should tap on, or that theres a right way to do it.

This is about YOU!!! You'll get to a point where you'll find so many things

to tap on that you wont stop yourself and what you have to say.

I went through stages of focusing on different aspects of the tapping, I

would find I focused on the phrase, or the feelings or the tapping. I had

reactions to the love and accept myself so Id tap on that, I had reactions

to saying negative things in the setup phrase so I tapped on that. Then I

felt as if I only used tapping to try and take away the feelings, then I

felt the tapping brought more of me out.

Happy hunting,

Kate

At 17:32 21/03/03 +0000, you wrote:

>I know this is long [empathy? LOL!] but I need to say where I am hung

>up, with the EFT: it SEEMS as if the statements are so LONG for 5 to

>7 taps. Are we to tap >continuously while reciting? I've printed out

>the basics and a lot of pages from a number of sites, and THIS point

>is confusing. [it's like when I was learning algebra: everyone kept

>saying " what you do one ONE side, you have to do on the OTHER " : but

>no one understood that I did not know WHAT that central point WAS! It

>was the = sign, of course, LOL!] So, here, we're told to tap on what

>comes up, but I am confused as to how one defines exactly WHAT is now

>to be tapped on. Maybe it is yet another avoidance tactic, sigh

>

>So, I will go for now--with many more thanks--and be looking for any

>suggestions you all might wish to offer...

[Guest guest]

Hi E,

Energy healing has really helped me move through the underlying issues. YOu

dont have to dig at all, just be where you're at, in the now and go with what

you're feeling now, its a clue to what you need to heal. One thing I realised

is that I have had a pool of anxiety which I covered with depression, so, the

past 6 months Ive decided to face my fear of fear. Im OK feeling alot of

feelings but I was very scared of fear, and felt very ashamed of it. So, under

the anxiety was weeks and weeks of allowing my body to release the fear. I

didnt' get into the story this time, I let it go. My body has a wisdom and a

way for healing and sometimes I needed to get out of the way and let it do its

thing. Boy it was hard though, being a parent and all. But the thing was I used

being there for everyone else/doaholic to cover this stuff. The reason why you

suppress it in the first place is survival in your environment when you didn't

have anyone on your side. So now, its time to be on your side, and hold your

hand and be the loving adult while letting yourself feel the parts of yourself

you denied.

Something that Ive had to heal is this ingrained feeling that Im not safe, Ive

had months of memories of unsafety come up, just letting myself feel it and

then it passes. And a new level of safety emerges. How I saw *the world* had

alot to do with how I felt in my inner world. Real textbook but this time I

didn't do it in my head but experienced it. The past few weeks Ive used Donna

Edens technique, well I think it is, its in her book, of holding the

neurovascular points on your head, and holding the back of your head like with

TAT, this allows the body to stop going into fight or flight, which is such a

learned response when you've lived in years of terror.

HUGS,

Kate

<tt>

--- In EmotionalFreedomTechniques , Kate Strong <BR>

<BR>

And hello to you, Kate.   Oh for SURE! Hope is feeling really good <BR>

right now, LOL!    First: especially since I printed out a copy of <BR>

's page, and the answer to my question is that after the three <BR>

repeats of the phrase and the affirmation one can use a " key word " <BR>

instead of having to try and say ALL that verbage whilst tapping 7 <BR>

times! Whew! LOL!  And I now have possible phrases running through my <BR>

mind for all sorts of things, LOL! <BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

HOLAAAAAAAAA Kate

its like looking in a mirror........reading what you wrote.......esp about fear.

I have been trying to face my fears......and of course what you fear grows

right. so it gets right in my face.[ what made me notice it ......well first let

me explain that I had almost quicked the habit of meds.....I was going without

them more and more....until recently.....and it seemed like I was using them

more and more....and all it was just fear......didnt want to feel the feelings

of fear that I was feeling..IM trying to quit smoking as well....and I sat one

nite and wondered what it would feel like without the " smoke " screen and the

meds....how would life feel.....and it overwhelmed me. I realized then that I

didnt know what life feels like without this stuff.....and hadnt in so many

years that I actually started asking my daughter if my feelings were

normal....normal in the way such as .....was it normal to wake up through the

nite for no apparent reason..or to go to the bathroom.....now keep in mind that

I have used meds to sleep for as long as i can remember...in fact I cant

remember NOT using them. Living alone doesnt help when you are trying to face

fears either. this all sounds funny to me cuz i think nothing of walking at nite

down the street .at 2 am.....that doesnt bother me ......

I always thought of myself as being a person in touch with their feelings and

emotions and I am realizng now that I really havent been..... I had a good

exterior up. One counsellor said I had a whole fort around me, with arrows

perched and ready to go...lol.......and I wonder why a relationship cant last

for me ...hmmmm

How did you get into feeling the feelings of fear.....hwo did you release

them...I guess that is the part that scares me....

I have to explain something that I think might be standing in my way....I went

into a rehab centre....(mainly cuz my friends had gone and I " thought " they were

healthier than me) now I know why noone tells you what goes on in

there....anyways.....things happened in there....and I have been shakey every

since...more so than i ever was....even music is sometimes hard to listen to

because they used music to bring stuff up...problem is they brought up stuff and

never finished with certain things..that ws when the panic came thru big time.

but every since then I have been really afraid to open that can again....I

really want to be rid of this stuff...I want to get off the meds and be able to

quit smoking....and feel period......but i am so afraid of it happening

again.....like it did back then. so i guess that would be the

startingpoint..????

Every one has always thought of me as being so strong .....but the pain in my

body says different....its like carrying somethign so heavy that the muscles are

jsut plain fatigued all the time....and painful....

ok i will take any suggestions.....im ready to get rid of this crap once and for

all

Chey

kates@... wrote:

Hi E,

Energy healing has really helped me move through the underlying issues. YOu

dont have to dig at all, just be where you're at, in the now and go with what

you're feeling now, its a clue to what you need to heal. One thing I realised

is that I have had a pool of anxiety which I covered with depression, so, the

past 6 months Ive decided to face my fear of fear.

snipped.........

[Guest guest]

Hi E,

The way I see it, E, is that you are experiencing the fear anyway, everyday,

and you're having to do things to either, keep it down, avoid it, struggle with

it, and by going into it, and realising that its a denied part of yourself that

isn't probably about the NOW, then it separates you off into the part that is

OK and safe and in the NOW, and the denied part, yso then you can allow that

part its feelings. Ask that part how old it is? Give it a voice. I found the

more I see this is about a part of me, not all of me, then I dont feel as if I

want to end it all now cause its too much. See underneath that fear is your

power. And a whole nother way of being.

Love Kate

<tt>

Ah, Kate! I so relate to everything you are saying! That damn FEAR <BR>

thing--I absolutely do NOT want to HAVE TO face whatever it might <BR>

be " under there " ! And I'm tired of waking up sick to my stomach. <BR>

<BR>

I have all intentions of finding ways of zaping it out of existance <BR>

WITHOUT having to re-experience all the garbage. So it happened. So <BR>

it is under there. Spit happens--it's OVER! Begone!   Wish me luck. <BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

E,

Do you have anyone you can ask for help? That was a big part of it for me,

asking for a hand, it was so counter to what I thought I should do, see, I

always found that I felt so dependent so I denied those feelings and tried to

be more independent. I mean, isn't it about getting out there and doing it on

your own and by yourself and being more self reliant. Well funnily enough I

found the opposite, I had to ask for help, had to know what my limits were, I

had to allow myself to rely on people, I mean, *normal* people rely on each

other all the time. They have an inner sense of community. I think agoraphobia

is about never having internalised a feeling of support. When you feel you have

someone to rely on as a child etc, then you just know at anytime you can ask,

so there isn't a sense of disconnection, but if you haven't had that, or you're

in an abusive marriage bringing up kids, then you dont so much bring anyone in

on the picture. You stay paralysed in isolation.

So, is today the day you start tapping, be gentle, perhaps you could tap first

on the fear and hesitation of what you think EFT will do for you. The fact you

see it as perhaps hurting you even more, bringing up pain, I see it as the

opposite, I see it as a trusted friend I can rely on.

Love Kate

Love Kate

<tt>

--- In EmotionalFreedomTechniques@<BR>

<BR>

I WANT MY FREEDOM!  I want to go shopping! I do not have any problem <BR>

in stores--once I get OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!  I haven't even checked my <BR>

mailbox in a week--no, week and a half--and I have a book in there <BR>

that I ordered through Amazon!  Plus info from a dentist that will do <BR>

the work while I SLEEP! And I NEED the work done--but just TRY to get <BR>

me to a dentist, HA!     Lets get going on this!  <BR>

[Guest guest]

Hi E

Sounds like you are ready, but your defence mechanisms are getting in the

way. You really want to start, but it just ain't happening for you right

now.

So, here goes. Start right now. While you are reading this email. Tough, tap

and think while reading. Don't skip a sentence. Take your time.

Read this setup statement ... " Even though I have a huge big problem and I

am frightened to even look at it, I Really Do love and accept myself as I am

right now, and I choose to be really gentle with myself while I gradually

peel away the layers " . You can change one or two words, but not too many.

Say it again if you change any of the wording.

Now start rubbing your chest. Somewhere halfway down the sternum, on either

side, you'll find a sore spot. Start rubbing it on both sides with little

circular movements while you quietly say (or think) this sentence to

yourself... " Even though I have a huge big problem and I am frightened to

even look at it, I Really Do love and accept myself as I am right now, and I

choose to be really gentle with myself while I gradually peel away the

layers " .

Keep rubbing and say it again.... " Even though I have a huge big problem and

I am frightened to even look at it, I Really Do love and accept myself as I

am right now, and I choose to be really gentle with myself while I gradually

peel away the layers " .

Now start tapping your face near the beginning of the eyebrows. Use both

hands to tap both sides simultaneously while you say/think " the problem " .

Look for a tender spot if there is one. If you start yawning, just hold the

tender spot until the yawn has finished by taking a big slow breath in and

out slowly while holding that tender spot.... Encourage the yawn as it is

moving energy around, clearing out blockages.

Now tap 7-10 times on the outer edge of the eyebrows, and say/think " Accept

myself " . Again take your time and breath in and out slowly if there is a

tender spot or if you start yawning.

Now tap on the bone under the middle of your eye socket while saying " gentle

with myself " .

Now tap under the nose while saying " This big problem " .

Tap between the bottom lip and the chin while saying " accept myself " .

Now tap/rub, whatever is most comfortable, around and on the bumby bones at

the base on the neck (1 cm below and 1 cm out - just look for the tender

spot, if there is one), while saying " gentle with myself " .

How are you going? Has some of the panic about tapping started to ease? Have

you slowed yourself down a little? It's normal to enter a light trance state

while concentrating on what you are doing, especially as you are doing it

slowly, working with the yawning by entering into it. Don't let yourself be

too distracted by any memories that pop up. They are the transitory result

of huge blockage being released.

Let's keep going...poke/whack yourself under the armpits around the bra line

- either one side at a time using the opposite hand, or both sides at the

same time by looking like a chicken and just thwacking it with your whole

hand in the general direction. ... Say 'the problem "

Tap around the nail on your thumb on your right hand ... near the lower left

corner of the nail, while saying " accept myself " .

Tap around the nail on your first finger on your right hand ... near the

lower left corner of the nail, while saying " be gentle with myself " .

Tap around the nail on your middle finger on your right hand ... near the

lower left corner of the nail, while saying " the problem " .

Tap around the nail on your little finger on your right hand ... near the

lower left corner of the nail, while saying " accept myself " .

Tap the karate chop point (anywhere along the edge of the hand, between the

wrist and the side of the big joint) by using all four finger/finger nails

of the left hand, and say " gentle with myself "

Now start tapping the back of your right hand in the slight indentation of

the back of the right hand, 1 - 2 cm back from the joint of the 4th finger.

Continue tapping while you do the 9 gamut in one fluid movement... " Open

your eyes. Close your eyes. Open your eyes. Look hard up. Hard down left.

Hard down right. Hard up. Look around a large circle in one direction,

around the circle in the other direction. Back to centre. Hum " Happy

birthday to me " . Say " 1 2 3 4 5 " , Hum Happy Birthday to me " .

How are you going? Are you feeling calmer? Give yourself a rating of 1 - 10

on how you felt about tapping before you started your first round of EFT.

Give yourself a rating on how you feel now. Just say the first number that

pops into your head. Don't think about it, just take whatever pops in. Has

it improved? If it is still 3 or more, repeat the first half, tapping from

the eyebrows down to the karate chop point.

If you still feel agitated, just keep going around and around through the

sequence, rubbing the sore spot on your chest, tap around the body, do the 9

gamut, tap around the body ....until you get the rating down to a level you

are comfortable with.

You have just finished your first round(s) of EFT. Congratulations! Enjoy

the feeling. The feeling of having accomplished something. This is a major

step, and you have succeeded!

The next thing you can work on is " Even though I am frightened of going out

and collecting my mail, I deeply and completely accept myself, and choose to

enjoy the sunshine today " .

Enjoy the sunshine, both outside and inside your soul!

Best wishes

Vivienne

[Guest guest]

Hi E,

Nothing wrong with avoidance, it has its place.....OK, heres something that

came up for me the other day, and its run my whole life and meant I

couldn't *play* the way I wanted with other people. Imagine this from

parents, the playground, friends, spouses,the boss. *If you dont play this

game MY way, then you can't play at all*. So my agoraphobia is my way of

saying, IM NOT PLAYING IT YOUR WAY, so it means I cant play at all, even if

I want to.

HUGE breakthrough. Theres a whole nother way of being with people that I

haven't found yet. LOL

As Lynn said, baby steps, be kind to yourself.

Kate

At 00:07 23/03/03 +0000, you wrote:

>Kate, everything you have to say is helpful; know I do appreciate it

>all--even if I try to avoid the truth of it.

[Guest guest]

--- In EmotionalFreedomTechniques , Vivienne

Vivienne, I am sending you the biggest ooofy hug! because what you

put the time and effort into sending me answers a lot of questions,

and is " talking me through it " --thank you so much!

Okay, you won't be surprised to know that I didn't DO it while I was

reading, BUT! I printed it out: and I have determined that I AM going

to do this technique, AT LEAST ONCE, today! I have been working all

morning on statements I will use; and I am feeling quite optimistic

about it all. And about my possible success. Was over to the emo

site and read a lot of the success storys... and am feeling I CAN do

this! I am " sensing " , in the background, sort of flashes of what

it IS going to be like once I am FREE! [as my friend and I, who

work on the Abraham principles, like to say: I L T S!!! I LOVE this

stuff!]

I'll keep you posted.

HUGE hug,

E.