Re: [Tap 'n B Free] child behavior question

[Guest guest]

Hi,

This sounds like one of those situations where a self-acceptance set-up, and

also love and acceptance by others set-up might work. Even tho....., I am a

lovable and cool kid. Even though....., I know my family and friends all love

me. How does that sound/feel?

sierra793 <debnjohn1@...> wrote:

Hello,

I have a son, age 7, who we adopted last year and has brought with

him baggage from the past. He is now in 1st grade and continues to

feel the need to get attention and doesn't mind if there's negative

consequences to go along with it. His need for attention is greater

than basically anything else at this point. He has been clowning

around in various ways, playing with food, spilling it on the floor,

squirting people with his water bottle, hollering in the bathroom,

etc. He said he likes the kids to laugh at him and he thinks this is

the way for him to make friends. AARRGGHH!!!!

I have been using EFT with him for the past week and I don't see any

improvement. He is saying " Even though I do silly things to get

people to laugh at me, I choose to be calm and peaceful. "

Does anyone have any other recommendations that I could use? Is

there something that I could add to that or is that sentence not good

for some reason? I just need some guidance as to the best way to

deal with this situation.

Has anyone dealt with this type of behavior situation and had success?

Thanks for your help!!

Deborah

[Guest guest]

Hi Deborah

EFT always helps, but in these types of situations, productive

actions are a great help.

If your son has the talent and wants to make others laugh, then he

needs to be channelled as to how to do this effectively without

causing too much chaos.

Give him " improv " lessons, let him act out comedies, see if he

likes doing " magic " tricks, let him dress up in his favorite " hero "

costume and do something he thinks would be heroic. Find other kids

that might like to play along with this (like 2 or 4 kids).

Kids like this generally, not only want attention, they are

looking for a " rush " of adrenaline and yes it starts whenever it

starts - as soon as they get their first " rush " of having made

several people laugh.

Tell him that making people laugh is the one of the best things in

the whole world he can do, but he needs to learn how to do it so that

its most appreciated.

Why would anyone want to EFT someone " out " of their talents. If

anything, EFT them " into " their talents.

" Even tho I know I can be really funny and I sometimes feel a

little bad about not knowing what will make someone laugh or not, I

prefer to learn and understand what makes people laugh.

We " ALL " want attention, correct? Its just a matter of learning

how to channel it properly and to our best benefit .

Warmly,

Lyn

>

> Hello,

>

> I have a son, age 7, who we adopted last year and has brought with

> him baggage from the past. He is now in 1st grade and continues to

>

> feel the need to get attention and doesn't mind if there's negative

>

> consequences to go along with it. His need for attention is

> greater

> than basically anything else at this point. He has been clowning

> around in various ways, playing with food, spilling it on the

> floor,

> squirting people with his water bottle, hollering in the bathroom,

> etc. He said he likes the kids to laugh at him and he thinks this

> is

> the way for him to make friends. AARRGGHH!!!!

>

> I have been using EFT with him for the past week and I don't see

> any

> improvement. He is saying " Even though I do silly things to get

> people to laugh at me, I choose to be calm and peaceful. "

>

> Does anyone have any other recommendations that I could use? Is

> there something that I could add to that or is that sentence not

> good

> for some reason? I just need some guidance as to the best way to

> deal with this situation.

>

> Has anyone dealt with this type of behavior situation and had

> success?

>

> Thanks for your help!!

>

> Deborah

>

>

>

>

=====

Plex/join

EWM

SET-UP/join

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Great advice to Deborah

--- Laffin Lyn <rayofsunn@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Deborah

>

> EFT always helps, but in these types of

> situations, productive

> actions are a great help.

>

> If your son has the talent and wants to make

> others laugh, then he

> needs to be channelled as to how to do this

> effectively without

> causing too much chaos.

>

> Give him " improv " lessons, let him act out

> comedies, see if he

> likes doing " magic " tricks, let him dress up in his

> favorite " hero "

> costume and do something he thinks would be heroic.

> Find other kids

> that might like to play along with this (like 2 or 4

> kids).

[Guest guest]

In thinking about the phrase your son is using, I can't help but think of

some of my reactions when I've tried adding on choices. Sometimes after I say

" ...and I choose to (whatever positive thing it is) " , the little voice of truth

in the background says " No I don't " .

If your son believes he enjoys getting people to laugh, maybe saying he

chooses to be calm doesn't feel like the truth to him. How about something like

" Even though I don't want to be calm, I'm a great kid " ?

Just a thought from someone with mind that argues if I don't get my

set-up phrases completely believable. Best wishes, Marcia

[Guest guest]

Hi Marcia

If you use the Preference Technique, listed in the " files " section

of this list (website), you'll find that its much more " customized "

towards what a person " wants " rather than a " choice " . The

word " preference " has a stronger " personal " feeling to it

than " choice " does. Also, the way the technique is set up, it allows

for what is wanted to become much more real and what the person

doesn't want to vanish moreso.

Warmly,

Lyn

>

> In thinking about the phrase your son is using, I can't help but

think of

> some of my reactions when I've tried adding on choices. Sometimes

after I say

> " ...and I choose to (whatever positive thing it is) " , the little

voice of truth

> in the background says " No I don't " .

>

> If your son believes he enjoys getting people to laugh, maybe

saying he

> chooses to be calm doesn't feel like the truth to him. How about

something like

> " Even though I don't want to be calm, I'm a great kid " ?

>

> Just a thought from someone with mind that argues if I don't

get my

> set-up phrases completely believable. Best wishes, Marcia

>

>

>