[Tap 'n B Free] Re: Meaninglessness

[Guest guest]

Kate

Your last sentence immediately calls for tapping ... " Even though I don't

know in what direction to head with my life because I feel meaningless and

purposeless, ... "

For the second part, what do you want to achieve with EFT in relation to

this void? Do you want to 'choose' something to replace the empty feeling?

Do you want to just accept where you are as step 1, then do a second round

for step 2?

From the way you wrote your email, it sounds like you have already done a

lot of work on the abortion and the grief aspect. But have you explored its

effect on you in other areas, who you are, why you had to have the abortion

in the first place, how the pregnancy made you feel, the void afterwards, if

you were a Christian as a young child, did you have conflicting feelings of

guilt over murdering the baby? Sorry, I'm not judging here, just wondering

if you feel that other people are judging you, or if you feel that God is

judging you, even if you no longer believe in God? Childhood values long

since forgotten can sometimes have a major impact on how you feel in an

extreme situation.

While I can't imagine the emotions that come from an abortion, I had 5

miscarriages, the first three from unplanned pregnancies while recovering

from a bad dose of Hepatitus A and therefore not well enough to carry a baby

or look after one, so I had a whole range of weird emotional stuff to deal

with (Hey - I need to tap on this too! I love this list, as it brings up so

much stuff that I had long since forgotten about that still needs to be

dealt with.)

Kate, we're all here for you. See how you go, and let us know how it goes...

We collectively might be able to help you move forward to the new you, the

new Kate who knows who she is, where she's going, and going there full of

confidence.

Best wishes

Vivienne

On 29/3/03 9:35 AM, " Kate Strong " <kates@...> wrote:

> Hi there,

>

> OK, I need some suggestions for things to tap on, Im in a funk and realised

> last night that whats happened to me is Ive cleared out alot of my

> motivating factors in life from the past, ie:fear of men, fear of

> authority, people pleasing etc.....Im not sure if Im still stuck in the

> grief of my abortion, a part of me suspects that it could be that, cause

> afterwards I had a feeling that life just wasn't the same as it was before

> the pregnancy, things didn't mean the same. So, Im finding that Im in this

> void, I dont know in what direction to head with my life because I feel

> meaningless and purposeless.

>

[Guest guest]

At 15:32 28/03/03 -0800, you wrote:

>Once you've started cleaning out the negs, then you can start to

>put attention on the pos and find out how to go about making

>your life a lot better condition or situation wise than it was

>before, due to the negs.

Hi Lyn,

Thanks for that, I think I need to find some postiveness now, you're right,

its very easy for me to find the negative.

>I can only share with you my own personal story.

Wow, Lyn, what an experience, I muscle tested myself and realised that its

me hanging on, not the other way around, not wanting to let go, which I

hadn't realised about myself. Thanks for telling me this.

Blessings,

Kate

[Guest guest]

Hi Lyn

Ive read this again, and think I will surrogate tap anyway. Interesting,

this afternoon when I acknowledged that I didn't want to let go, the energy

lifted off me, like it was a wet blanket. I still think I have to grieve

more, I think theres deeper reasons why I wont let go. But, its also

interesting this is coming up at this time because Im going through a stage

where I seem to be dealing with my confluence, and having taken on the

beliefs that Ive introjected. Maybe I have taken on some of my babies

feelings, but its not a case of her wanting to be born, its a case I think

of her wanting me to let go.

Kate

At 15:32 28/03/03 -0800, you wrote:

>If it turns out that a being is still hanging around you who is

>totally disappointed in not getting the body, then you can

>surrogate tap for it. At least you'll have a more objective

>idea of what you are dealing with.

[Guest guest]

--- In EmotionalFreedomTechniques , Laffin Lyn

Lyn!

That is a facinating theory to consider! And might have other aspects

or considerations as well... Oh not possesion, or anything like that,

but " outside " thoughts--which ARE energy--impinging on our own. Many

times I feel that a thought is not the way >I< feel about things...

More food for thought, thanks.

E.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for this Vivienne, you know, I just realised, Im now discussing this

abortion on a *non-abortion* list. Hey, cleared up a bit more of the shame.

Thank you for your caring and understanding, I realise this is a moral topic.

I just had a breakthrough though, if Lyn was here I'd give her a BIG huge

hug cause my stereo is cranking, and Im so ecstatic.

See, you're right, even though my head could accept all the reasons for my

choices etc, and my counsellor and I had worked through spiritual aspects

ie: if this is right for me then this is right for the soul of my baby, I

think deep down I didn't know if this was right for her, this was just a

thought I fel comforted by.

So, I started surrogate tapping for her.....and what I realised is that Ive

had a whole string of thoughts and feelings whenever I feel the abortion

issues....and they are DARK!! Real deathly stuff, not wanting to be here

stuff, suicidal......now I know THATS NOT ME!!! Ive really had to work with

this the past week, Ive had to look at my kids and say, they're a huge part

of why Im here, I love my cats, etc etc....and Ive been contemplating

prozac....so, I realised this is my babys soul telling me that SHE DIDN " T

WANT TO BE BORN...she was saying I dont want to live, I dont want to be

here, its too hard, I cant do it!!!

THATS NOT ME!!!!

So, the self punishment stops here!!! The feelings that I murdered her STOP

HERE!!!!

And what Ive realised is that she didn't want to take over my body, she was

transmitting her thoughts to me.

So now I see a new part of me, how I psychically pick up other peoples

thoughts, I knew I could do that with people, but Ive never had this happen

on another level.

And you were right Lyn, this was HER meaningless and purposelessness. So I

tapped that she was safe in the Universe and there was a divine plan for

her life. I felt this huge energy lift off my head.

Well, this is another area of tapping I hadn't experienced. LOL

Love Kate

At 10:59 29/03/03 +1100, you wrote:

> From the way you wrote your email, it sounds like you have already done a

>lot of work on the abortion and the grief aspect. But have you explored its

>effect on you in other areas, who you are, why you had to have the abortion

>in the first place, how the pregnancy made you feel, the void afterwards, if

>you were a Christian as a young child, did you have conflicting feelings of

>guilt over murdering the baby? Sorry, I'm not judging here, just wondering

>if you feel that other people are judging you, or if you feel that God is

>judging you, even if you no longer believe in God? Childhood values long

>since forgotten can sometimes have a major impact on how you feel in an

>extreme situation.

[Guest guest]

Hi Lyn,

Yea, its still gobsmacking me, I feel *normal* again, I went shopping

today, brought myself a laundry basket, *normal, normal normal* thinking

straight stuff, I resumed my editing that I'd forgotten I'd started, and I

dont feel the depression at all.

Kate

At 19:52 28/03/03 -0800, you wrote:

>You could put this up in " lights " as far as I'm concerned. When

>I first found out that this could happen at all, I exclaimed the

>exact same thing. Blew " me " mind. Walked around practically in

>a daze for days on that one. It was a good daze though .