hey all

[Guest guest]

Cyrena,

Wow you are so right on!!!!My Hubby and I both are totally stressed

most of the time with our work. I need space, but he requires

attention. I don't know why I never figured this out..Thank You so

much. What a Light Bulb Moment! Wow. Thanks again for your right on

response. Now do I just start chasing him around the house and

fulfill his needs or what..? I'm tired when I get in from work and

I do need some alone time, but want him to feel loved and not feel

abandoned, which is what he says some times. When I get home from

work and start dinner and clean up around. He just wants total

attention and I'm so busy with things and then I just want to sit

down and relax, but he's all up in it!!! Granted he cooks and buy the

way a great cook. I love him very much and he knows that. He's just a

demanding kind of guy. I just need some alone time.(without an

arguement or hurt feelings) What can I do or say to make us both

happy? Just Lost here! Needing help? Sorry again for pouring my guts

out here and for the totally off topic of weight loss. Please forgive

me..

Deb

>

> I have figured out that my husband wants more sex when he is

stressed out. Anytime, he gets " grabby "

I also have a hubby who loves to be touched when he is stressed - back rub, hug

etc. I want desperatly to be left alone when I'm stressed out.

>

>

> sniped by moderator

>

[Guest guest]

-

Thanks Cyrena,

You have helped lots~Don't get me wrong~I love making love to my

Hubby, but Please can I build up the want to alittle. ha/ha

We really have a wonderful relationship and he is the only one for

me. Just need a break every now and then~you know what I mean.?

I just want a break without him feeling insecure. The factor of stress

is key...When he's stressed he wants more sex and I need

to address that in a way that we both can have what we want!!

Does that make sense?? Actually he says that sex relieves stress, so

we need more and I'm like~ I just don't have the energy~Please can

some of you men explain this?

Loving My Band and Hubby too,

Deb

[Guest guest]

Deb,I'm right with you!! I love being w/my hubby and we are perfect for each other too. But again, right w/ya "can we build a little anticipation" LOL I talked to my husband about our converstation and he said "yea, what's wrong with taking a few minutes for us and then we will stop pestering you". UGH! You have to know that we are in the middle of negotiating for a new job for him and I to do together and will involve moving our whole family to a small town, new jobs, new school etc etc. The hormones have been THICK in the house Take care, Cyrena Weeks Re: Hey All

-

Thanks Cyrena,

You have helped lots~Don't get me wrong~I love making love to my

Hubby, but Please can I build up the want to alittle. ha/ha

We really have a wonderful relationship and he is the only one for

me. Just need a break every now and then~you know what I mean.?

I just want a break without him feeling insecure. The factor of stress

is key...When he's stressed he wants more sex and I need

to address that in a way that we both can have what we want!!

Does that make sense?? Actually he says that sex relieves stress, so

we need more and I'm like~ I just don't have the energy~Please can

some of you men explain this?

Loving My Band and Hubby too,

Deb

[Guest guest]

It is our inherent drive. Men are sexually driven at a continual rate the same

each month all the time. We do not have cycles like Women do. It changes from

guy to guy. Mastering the sex drive is very hard but when you do it, it is easy

to maintain abstinence. The medium is hard

Holden Slusher

Deb <horseigot@...> wrote:

to you guys on the board

what's up with wanting sex~sex~sex~ We have a lifetime, sometimes

you just want to sit and chat without hands, mouth and everything

else just going crazy.

Deb

snipped by moderator

[Guest guest]

Hi Holden,

Thanks, Such a Brave Soul to respond. My Hubby is in his mid-forties,

when does the sex drive slow up? I think I read you were in your 20's

I can understand raging sex drive that you must have. Any suggestions

as to how I can survive this? Thanks again for responding. It's so

refreshing having a male point of view on the board. Please keep

posting, seems the other guys are scared to post or something!!ha/ha.

When is your surgery date? You will just love Dr. A's Team. They are the

greatest!!

Thanks,

Deb

>

> It is our inherent drive. Men are sexually driven at a continual

rate the same each month all the time. We do not have cycles like

Women do. It changes from guy to guy. Mastering the sex drive is

very hard but when you do it, it is easy to maintain abstinence. The

medium is hard

> Holden Slusher

>

> snipped by moderator

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Nadine,

So glad you responded to this. So really their is no way of saying

no thank you without hurt feelings. Your saying just what my Hubby

is~Sex is a great stress reliever, but morning and night everyday~

He would want more if allowed~Gosh it's to hard to keep with the

program. I've got a house to run 3 kids and sometimes I'm just too

tired to enjoy anything. Sex does awaken me, but puts him to sleep.

So at night I end up laying awake and listening to him snore and

then I'm sleepless in bed.~So I've decided I'm gonna just keep on

messing with him until he gets so tired of making love that he gets

to say~No Thank You~Please I need a break!! wonder if he will ever

get to that point? I need some sleep and to be able to relax, and

yet have my Hubby satisfied,the Kiddos happy and work~I Tired.

What's your secret~Nadine~Are you eat any special kind of food that

makes you want more sex? If so let us in on the secret.

Thanks bunches for any input,

Deb

So sorry if this offends anyone.

>

> I have to weigh in on this because apparently I am not the typical

woman...at least according to my boyfriend...because I have a high

sex drive. And it has taken my boyfriend 2 years to get use to this

because he has never experienced this before. So maybe I can shed

some light on this too. Several have mentioned that you want your

space with no hurt feelings. It is really hard to be turned down in

that department. When it has happened to me I try not to but I end

up feeling hurt, unattractive and unappealing not to mention

frustrated. And I agree with those who noticed an increase in the

drives with stress in other parts of life. Sex is a great stress

reliever and leaves you filled with endorphs(sp?) who wants to turn

down that feeling! ) With that said it is all about finding a

balance between the couple's needs and that takes time.

>

> Nadine

>

>

> > snipped by moderator

>

[Guest guest]

Hah, I would not consider myself an expert on this matter. I am not married, and I am not in a relationship currently, but if you go to any websites that offer help on the matter I am sure you can find out something. Although I think that although our sex drive is a continual force you can talk with your "hubby" and tell him that you would like to build up the excitement rather than giving in all the time. Guys can build up their drives as well. Hope that helpsHoldenDeb <horseigot@...> wrote: Hi Holden,

Thanks, Such a Brave Soul to respond. My Hubby is in his mid-forties, when does the sex drive slow up? I think I read you were in your 20's I can understand raging sex drive that you must have. Any suggestions as to how I can survive this? Thanks again for responding. It's so refreshing having a male point of view on the board. Please keep posting, seems the other guys are scared to post or something!!ha/ha. When is your surgery date? You will just love Dr. A's Team. They are the greatest!! Thanks, Deb > > It is our inherent drive. Men are sexually driven at a continual rate the same each month all the time. We do not have cycles like Women do. It changes from guy to guy. Mastering the sex drive is very hard but when you do it, it

is easy to maintain abstinence. The medium is hard > Holden Slusher > > snipped by moderator > Holden Slusher

It's here! Your new message!Get

new email alerts with the free Toolbar.

[Guest guest]

//So, please those who wish to talk about Sex after the band or

whatever, FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!! //

You're so smart!

//Hey Holden...Look me up!! WINK...lol//

What is this? Openly flirting! (he is a cutie but I am married)

I thought you were a shy schoolgirl?

You morphed into a hot schoolgirl who oozes confidence

You never cease to amaze me

7/18/05

280/180/140

[Guest guest]

Hey Kelli,

The off topic is a great suggestion~Thanks~

You never cease to amaze all of us with your journey. You are

a great inspriation to all as well. My hat is off to you~You Rock

Girl, keep up the great work~and keep posting your success.

That Holden is a cutie! Wish Dr. A would hold a Banderster Bash

for his patients so we could all meet and greet. What fun we'd all

have. Wishing you and all on this board a wonderful and fun day.

Deb

>

> PERK!!! Holden your single??? Well, Hot Dog!!! So AM I...woo

hoo!!!

> ***Also, I just want to throw in my hat into what is going on...I

> swear I go away for a bit and people get their undies in a bunch.

> This is an open forum, no one has any rights over another...one

thing

> I've learned that if you want to post something Off Topic, just

put

> OT on the subject line and those not wanting to read can simply

move

> onto the ones they want to read. I've seen this problem on OH.com

and

> personally I think it's just silly to get all up in a roar over

> another comments, don't like it...CLICK OFF!!! So, please those

who

> wish to talk about Sex after the band or whatever, FREEDOM OF

> SPEECH!!!! Anywho...that's my two cents take it or leave it...I

> really don't care!***

>

> Later Gators...Hey Holden...Look me up!! WINK...lol

>

> Kelli

>

>

[Guest guest]

Girl, I have to jump quick with all these women on board...sorry

Holden, you're just too cute so had to put my hat in first...lol.

Yep, I think I am morphing beyond my own expectations...this girl's

going where no Fat Girl has gone before... ha ha!!!

>

> //So, please those who wish to talk about Sex after the band or

> whatever, FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!! //

> You're so smart!

>

> //Hey Holden...Look me up!! WINK...lol//

> What is this? Openly flirting! (he is a cutie but I am married)

> I thought you were a shy schoolgirl?

> You morphed into a hot schoolgirl who oozes confidence

> You never cease to amaze me

>

>

> 7/18/05

> 280/180/140

>

[Guest guest]

As for the Freedom of Speech...it is true, we should not have hold

back what we want to talk about. Sex is apart of life whether banded

or not, and if there is a question regarding how the band has

changed this for the better then by all means talk about it...and

what's wrong with going off topic every now and then, nothing

personal but I get tired of the old stuff just going around and

around. I understand we have new people needing to get questions

answered but really there should be an archive to where people can

go to for that, and for those of us who are banded already we can go

from there. NO ONE HERE IS AN EXPERT ON THE BAND...ONLY DOCTOR

ACEVES, so with that...let's keep it fun and simple! Let's enjoy

each other's comaraderie and express ourselves freely. Advice is

great, just remember we are banded folks and not doctors, it's what

we've learned and/or experienced so if you do have questions do ask

but remember no one is better than the next. So, in the words of

Madonna's song " Express Yourself, " SO EXPRESS IT!!!!! DON'T GO FOR

SECOND BEST BABY...PUT YOURSELF TO THE TEST!!!! Good Lord, am I

about ready to break out the cone bra's??? LOL TTYL...ENJOY THE

WEEKEND!!!!

KELLI

>

> //So, please those who wish to talk about Sex after the band or

> whatever, FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!! //

> You're so smart!

>

> //Hey Holden...Look me up!! WINK...lol//

> What is this? Openly flirting! (he is a cutie but I am married)

> I thought you were a shy schoolgirl?

> You morphed into a hot schoolgirl who oozes confidence

> You never cease to amaze me

>

>

> 7/18/05

> 280/180/140

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I'm new to this group just wanted to say hi. i also have one green eye

> and one blue eye. its cool to read what other people that have same

> thing i do experience.

>

Hiya. ^-^ I have a blue eye and a blue and brown eye. (The Right one)

[Guest guest]

New updates on www.thejerseyshort.com. Check it out!

[Guest guest]

Wow, he's 4! It sounds like you're able to care for him fine. I recommend

contacting the advocates at Through the Looking Glass. They specialize in

parenting with a disability and have good legal advocates on our side.

Go to: http://www.lookingglass.org/

Alana

>

> popping my head in for much needed advice so please feel free to email me

directly if you can help....

>

> for those that dont know me, hello im angel. im 35yr old and i have sma2. i

also have a 4yr old son named abiam (lol yes friends abee is four lol he'll be 5

this dec. ).

>

> ok now for my problem..... i had abee in day care/early learning last year but

ernesto (my bf abees daddy) got into a car accident (no harm came to him) and

well we needed a new truck, his car insuance went up and well the damn school

was VERY expencive.... needless to say we had to pull him out and have

family/family friends come to sit with us during the day while ernesto was at

work..... well my grandma has arthritist in her knee and wasnt able to come help

anymore plus shes a big nag and was more of a headache then a help and the

family friend started napping more then helping here so i stated to pay someone

to come in to clean/sit from noon to 4 when ernesto got home but my granma found

out that abee n i were staying home alone from 7am till my help came and well

she starting problems.... shes telling me its against the law for me to be home

alone with him n shes been treatning in a round about way that she'll call

childrens services on me... im in my wheelchair all day, their r no stairs or

steps to get out of my home, i can n do cook without any problems, abee minds me

very well and is a smart boy..... is she right??

>

[Guest guest]

:s ummmm how do i find what im looking for on that site lol

> >

> > popping my head in for much needed advice so please feel free to email me

directly if you can help....

> >

> > for those that dont know me, hello im angel. im 35yr old and i have sma2. i

also have a 4yr old son named abiam (lol yes friends abee is four lol he'll be 5

this dec. ).

> >

> > ok now for my problem..... i had abee in day care/early learning last year

but ernesto (my bf abees daddy) got into a car accident (no harm came to him)

and well we needed a new truck, his car insuance went up and well the damn

school was VERY expencive.... needless to say we had to pull him out and have

family/family friends come to sit with us during the day while ernesto was at

work..... well my grandma has arthritist in her knee and wasnt able to come help

anymore plus shes a big nag and was more of a headache then a help and the

family friend started napping more then helping here so i stated to pay someone

to come in to clean/sit from noon to 4 when ernesto got home but my granma found

out that abee n i were staying home alone from 7am till my help came and well

she starting problems.... shes telling me its against the law for me to be home

alone with him n shes been treatning in a round about way that she'll call

childrens services on me... im in my wheelchair all day, their r no stairs or

steps to get out of my home, i can n do cook without any problems, abee minds me

very well and is a smart boy..... is she right??

> >

>