Carl

[Guest guest]

Since Carl's death I have found out so much more about what was

actually happening with him.

I February he had 2 heart attacks the second when ended up in

hospital. When they did the angiogram the results were 3 vessel

disease in major arteries one was blocked 80% another 60%. He chose

not to have triple bypass surgery.

They did an external autopsy only yesterday because I objected to an

internal one on spiritual grounds. They found he died of triple

vessel disease, chronic airway disease, diabetes meticulosis (don't

know spelling) and heart failure.

He really didn't stand a chance based on his decision not to have

surgery which I fully support knowing his spiritual and cultural

beliefs.

The hardest part for me is now knowing that he was a lot sicker than

I knew and that he suffered and carried the burdon of knowing he was

going to die alone in order to protect me and the kids from worry.

He was always very protective of me but it hurts to know he suffered

so much alone for over 5 months to protect me.

10 years just wasn't enough with such a special beautiful man but I

have 6 beautiful children from our time together and lots of

beautiful memories including recent times at the beach and a trip to

the snowy mountains. I was blessed to have him for this time.

Tracey

[Guest guest]

Tracey, I understand your feelings and Carl's... mine would do the same. But maybe there is comfort in knowing that what you did do (for what you knew) prolonged his life. That is so sad that maybe if we had all known more we could have done more... but one never knows what God has in mind for us.. Take comfort in knowing how much he truly loved you that he did not want you worrying or being sad... Of course we as women know it is much better to tell us and let us worry.. I am so glad you have the kids and your memories. Suzirainbowegret <egret.09@...> wrote: Since Carl's death I have found out so much more about what was actually happening with him.I February he had 2 heart attacks the second when ended up in

hospital. When they did the angiogram the results were 3 vessel disease in major arteries one was blocked 80% another 60%. He chose not to have triple bypass surgery.They did an external autopsy only yesterday because I objected to an internal one on spiritual grounds. They found he died of triple vessel disease, chronic airway disease, diabetes meticulosis (don't know spelling) and heart failure.He really didn't stand a chance based on his decision not to have surgery which I fully support knowing his spiritual and cultural beliefs.The hardest part for me is now knowing that he was a lot sicker than I knew and that he suffered and carried the burdon of knowing he was going to die alone in order to protect me and the kids from worry. He was always very protective of me but it hurts to know he suffered so much alone for over 5 months to protect me.10 years just wasn't enough with such a special

beautiful man but I have 6 beautiful children from our time together and lots of beautiful memories including recent times at the beach and a trip to the snowy mountains. I was blessed to have him for this time.Tracey

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[Guest guest]

Tracey, unfortunately this is typical of men. They want to "protect" us from worry so they choose to go through their troubles alone. It often makes us feel left out, excluded. Nothing could be farther from the truth. They do it from love and a sense of male responsibility, not because they want to leave you out of their lives. I hope you can take comfort in knowing he did it from love and his being alone was a happy choice for him, not a miserable one.

Gayla Always Enough RanchAcampo, Californiahttp://bouncinghoofs.com/alwaysenough.htmlBill Barnhill is our Rainbow Example!aeranch@...

----- Original Message -----

From: Suzanne

health

Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2006 8:17 AM

Subject: Re: Carl

Tracey,

I understand your feelings and Carl's... mine would do the same. But maybe there is comfort in knowing that what you did do (for what you knew) prolonged his life. That is so sad that maybe if we had all known more we could have done more... but one never knows what God has in mind for us.. Take comfort in knowing how much he truly loved you that he did not want you worrying or being sad... Of course we as women know it is much better to tell us and let us worry..

I am so glad you have the kids and your memories.

Suzirainbowegret <egret.09@...> wrote:

Since Carl's death I have found out so much more about what was actually happening with him.I February he had 2 heart attacks the second when ended up in hospital. When they did the angiogram the results were 3 vessel disease in major arteries one was blocked 80% another 60%. He chose not to have triple bypass surgery.They did an external autopsy only yesterday because I objected to an internal one on spiritual grounds. They found he died of triple vessel disease, chronic airway disease, diabetes meticulosis (don't know spelling) and heart failure.He really didn't stand a chance based on his decision not to have surgery which I fully support knowing his spiritual and cultural beliefs.The hardest part for me is now knowing that he was a lot sicker than I knew and that he suffered and carried the burdon of knowing he was going to die alone in order to protect me and the kids from worry. He was always very protective of me but it hurts to know he suffered so much alone for over 5 months to protect me.10 years just wasn't enough with such a special beautiful man but I have 6 beautiful children from our time together and lots of beautiful memories including recent times at the beach and a trip to the snowy mountains. I was blessed to have him for this time.Tracey

Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.