Re: AHA Moments & Family issues

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/5/2004 9:40:40 AM Pacific Standard Time,

djwool@... writes:

The best thing about being deaf if you can turn off when they are

crying.

Or when they are fighting! I know I am mom of 2 college kids.

Lee

[Guest guest]

The best thing about being deaf if you can turn off when they are

crying.

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 9:22am, wrote:

> Hi all! I'm so sorry I missed chatting with you last night, but my

> Sweet Cherry (Chauncey) took me to the auto show last night! We

> got to sit in and play with a Hummer!!! but anyway.....

> I've been reading some of the posts this morning about AHA moments

> and it's so great to read about the little things that make you

> decide that you want to hear sound. We dont have children (yet) or

> grands, but I did always wish Chauncey could hear the sound of a

> baby cooing and laughing! That is such a beautiful sound! I know

> he has told me that now when he goes out to his favorite watering

> hole, he sits there looking around at everything going on and cant

> wait to be able to hear any part of it! I cant wait to hear the

> sound of his voice as it changes after he can hear it! rite now he

> is very soft spoken, almost like a whisper, unless he's mad, then

> he can be very loud! but I know that will change if all goes well,

> and we both will be able to hear his own true voice. but i did want

> to talk about something that's come to light for us. Chauncey had

> told me before that he resented that his father never learned ASL to

> be able to communicate with him, but the other night we were sitting

> and talking about the possibilities for him with the implant, and if

> he is able to understand speech he has so much he wants to say to

> his father about this. I tried to tell him that I can see how much

> his father loves him, the man actually sat me down in the kitchen

> after we met to ask me (the woman!) what my intentions were with his

> son! I tried to tell him (Chauncey) that while i dont truely

> understand what it was like for him to grow up in his household, I

> can see that both his parents loved him imensely and probably did

> the best they could to provide for all of thier children. They did

> raise him to be a wonderful strong independent man! And please dont

> jump all over me on this one, because I do know how important it is

> to be able to communicate with your child, and his mother did learn

> ASL but for his father I think providing for his children was his

> priority and he left the raising them to be respectful productive

> people to his mother. I suggested to Chauncey, if he does in fact

> have the chance to one day sit with his father and really talk about

> it, that he just be patient as he is always telling me, before he

> jumps down his throat, because I would hate to see them argue about

> it after all these years and miss out on the opportunity to finally

> get to know each other. I wondered if anyone elses relationship

> with hearing parents changed after getting CI. I know from reading

> the post that alot of you were oral schooled so you may not have had

> the

> difficulty communcating with them as Chauncey did, but maybe just

> understanding better may have changed things?

> anyway... as always, take care and have a wonderful day.

>

>

[Guest guest]

& amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i was 19 when i lost my hearing ....

and i think i

adjusted pretty quickly in picking up speech reading on my

own & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; i also learned to sign & amp;nbsp; but i did know that my relationship

with my

parents and sibs changed

dramatically & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; it

seemed to me my brothers and sister were afraid to talk to me ... afraid i

wouldn't understand ... so they pretty much

stopped & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; my mom had her own interpretations of why i lost my

hearing and simply was angry with me

it was my dad who kept up the communication and i am forever grateful to him

& amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; and he even did

try to sign but ... he

would said he thought signing wasn't

masculine & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i know it sounds silly but he never saw another man

sign & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

he felt as he said " foolish " signing and felt

ladylike & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; my parents are from another

generation & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; another time....

after my CI it was my own kids along with my brothers and sisters who gave me

a surprise " Hearing " party & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; with a " Happy Hearing "

cake and

all & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i was blown

away & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; my sibs talked to me like old old

times & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i

couldn't and can't hold it against them for being afraid because i was

deaf & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i think they did what they did because they

loved me

not the other way

around & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; we are

slowly

getting to know one another again & amp;nbsp; ... by

phone!! & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

nbsp; which is still amazing to both of us & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

i have wayy to much good in my life now to want to go back and rehash the

failures of the past & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

what's important is

today!!!

susan & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

[Guest guest]

well then I will have to suffer, cuz i'm hearing ;-) you knew that,

rite? just wanted to make sure!

> > Hi all! I'm so sorry I missed chatting with you last night, but

my

> > Sweet Cherry (Chauncey) took me to the auto show last night! We

> > got to sit in and play with a Hummer!!! but anyway.....

> > I've been reading some of the posts this morning about AHA

moments

> > and it's so great to read about the little things that make you

> > decide that you want to hear sound. We dont have children (yet)

or

> > grands, but I did always wish Chauncey could hear the sound of a

> > baby cooing and laughing! That is such a beautiful sound! I know

> > he has told me that now when he goes out to his favorite watering

> > hole, he sits there looking around at everything going on and

cant

> > wait to be able to hear any part of it! I cant wait to hear the

> > sound of his voice as it changes after he can hear it! rite now

he

> > is very soft spoken, almost like a whisper, unless he's mad, then

> > he can be very loud! but I know that will change if all goes

well,

> > and we both will be able to hear his own true voice. but i did

want

> > to talk about something that's come to light for us. Chauncey had

> > told me before that he resented that his father never learned

ASL to

> > be able to communicate with him, but the other night we were

sitting

> > and talking about the possibilities for him with the implant,

and if

> > he is able to understand speech he has so much he wants to say to

> > his father about this. I tried to tell him that I can see how

much

> > his father loves him, the man actually sat me down in the kitchen

> > after we met to ask me (the woman!) what my intentions were with

his

> > son! I tried to tell him (Chauncey) that while i dont truely

> > understand what it was like for him to grow up in his household,

I

> > can see that both his parents loved him imensely and probably did

> > the best they could to provide for all of thier children. They

did

> > raise him to be a wonderful strong independent man! And please

dont

> > jump all over me on this one, because I do know how important it

is

> > to be able to communicate with your child, and his mother did

learn

> > ASL but for his father I think providing for his children was his

> > priority and he left the raising them to be respectful productive

> > people to his mother. I suggested to Chauncey, if he does in fact

> > have the chance to one day sit with his father and really talk

about

> > it, that he just be patient as he is always telling me, before he

> > jumps down his throat, because I would hate to see them argue

about

> > it after all these years and miss out on the opportunity to

finally

> > get to know each other. I wondered if anyone elses relationship

> > with hearing parents changed after getting CI. I know from

reading

> > the post that alot of you were oral schooled so you may not have

had

> > the

> > difficulty communcating with them as Chauncey did, but maybe just

> > understanding better may have changed things?

> > anyway... as always, take care and have a wonderful day.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

thank you so much for sharing that. I am so happy for you that you

are as you said getting to know each other again! best of everything

to you in life!

> & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i was 19 when i lost my

hearing .... and i think i

> adjusted pretty quickly in picking up speech reading on my

own & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; i also learned to sign & amp;nbsp; but i did know that my

relationship with my

> parents and sibs changed

dramatically & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbs

p; it

> seemed to me my brothers and sister were afraid to talk to me ...

afraid i

> wouldn't understand ... so they pretty much

stopped & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; my mom had her own interpretations of

why i lost my

> hearing and simply was angry with me

> it was my dad who kept up the communication and i am forever

grateful to him

> & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; and

he even did try to sign but ... he

> would said he thought signing wasn't

masculine & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i know it sounds silly but he never saw another

man sign & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

> he felt as he said " foolish " signing and felt

ladylike & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; my parents are from another

generation & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; another time....

> after my CI it was my own kids along with my brothers and sisters

who gave me

> a surprise " Hearing " party & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; with

a " Happy Hearing " cake and

> all & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i

was blown away & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; my sibs talked to me like old old

times & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i

> couldn't and can't hold it against them for being afraid because i

was deaf & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; i think they did what they did

because they loved me

> not the other way

around & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

we are slowly

> getting to know one another again & amp;nbsp; ... by phone!!

& amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;

> nbsp; which is still amazing to both of us & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

> i have wayy to much good in my life now to want to go back and

rehash the

> failures of the

past & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

what's important is

> today!!!

>

> susan & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp; & amp;nbsp;

>

>

>