Re: Newly Banded Experiences Only A Bandster Would Understand

[Guest guest]

>

> What I have learned since the hospital experience:

>

> Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you

> realize you are officially a bandster!

>

> You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming

> before surgery.

>

> I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at

all

> times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack

> rolls are cheaper.

>

> Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results

will

> be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.

>

> The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery.

> However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater

> Hospital in the glue, seriously... check it out in a mirror. You

> wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.

>

> You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when

> you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.

>

> PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool

you

> with that " positive burping " nonsense. There is nothing positive

> about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.

>

> When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and

bend

> over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a

> gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's

> voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You

> mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of

> your shoe in frustration.

>

> Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that

> more people will invite you to their homes for better food than

they

> have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites,

you

> know... everything you can't have.

>

> By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating

and

> your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a

Mrs.

> Buddha belly might look like.

>

> On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the

> inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that

works

> and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that

you

> don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be

> it.

>

> On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping

> them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are

walking,

> it is not cool.

>

> Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The entire

> concept is overrated.

>

> Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On

week

> three you search high and low and finally find two brands of

powdered

> protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear

> they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.

>

> You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in

> protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers

> have a conspiracy against bandsters.

>

> The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more

> likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so

> they can replace it with something that tastes good.

>

> You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins

> Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!

>

> You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein

> shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They

> are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you

> are still an expert nonetheless.

>

> Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they

> proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming

> experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.

>

> During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing

(aka

> PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat

> will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that

> isn't possible. Is it?

>

> People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded.

> One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him

no. ???

>

> My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???

>

> Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars and

> she said, " No, I want to see the band. " ???

>

> Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)

>

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!

[Guest guest]

I LOVED THAT!!! "THE EVIL ONE" haha..always has the final say!!!!! Ain't that the truth!! lol...

Thanks! Dana

-------------- Original message -------------- From: "skinygirl06" <skinygirl06@...>

>> What I have learned since the hospital experience:> > Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you > realize you are officially a bandster!> > You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming > before surgery.> > I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at all > times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack > rolls are cheaper.> > Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results will > be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.> > The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery. > However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater > Hospital in the glue, seriou

sly... check it out in a mirror. You > wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.> > You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when > you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.> > PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool you > with that "positive burping" nonsense. There is nothing positive > about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.> > When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and bend > over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a > gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's > voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You > mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of > your shoe in frustration.> > Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that > more pe

ople will invite you to their homes for better food than they > have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites, you > know... everything you can't have.> > By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating and > your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a Mrs. > Buddha belly might look like.> > On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the > inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that works > and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that you > don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be > it.> > On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping > them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are walking, > it is not cool.> > Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs pro

tein anyway? The entire > concept is overrated.> > Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On week > three you search high and low and finally find two brands of powdered > protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear > they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.> > You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in > protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers > have a conspiracy against bandsters.> > The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more > likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so > they can replace it with something that tastes good.> > You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins > Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!> > You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein >

shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They > are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you > are still an expert nonetheless.> > Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they > proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming > experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.> > During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing (aka > PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat > will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that > isn't possible. Is it?> > People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded. > One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him no. ???> > My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???> > Another asked if they could see my band. I sh

owed her my scars and > she said, "No, I want to see the band." ???> > Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)>AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!

[Guest guest]

Dana...

Yes, the band does always have the last say. People never told me

that before surgery, just like they never told me the concept of

sliming. ;o)))))

> >

> > What I have learned since the hospital experience:

> >

> > Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you

> > realize you are officially a bandster!

> >

> > You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming

> > before surgery.

> >

> > I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at

> all

> > times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack

> > rolls are cheaper.

> >

> > Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results

> will

> > be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.

> >

> > The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery.

> > However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater

> > Hospital in the glue, seriously... check it out in a mirror. You

> > wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.

> >

> > You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory)

when

> > you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.

> >

> > PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool

> you

> > with that " positive burping " nonsense. There is nothing positive

> > about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.

> >

> > When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and

> bend

> > over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel

a

> > gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's

> > voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You

> > mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel

of

> > your shoe in frustration.

> >

> > Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that

> > more people will invite you to their homes for better food than

> they

> > have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites,

> you

> > know... everything you can't have.

> >

> > By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating

> and

> > your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a

> Mrs.

> > Buddha belly might look like.

> >

> > On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but

the

> > inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that

> works

> > and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that

> you

> > don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must

be

> > it.

> >

> > On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without

unzipping

> > them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are

> walking,

> > it is not cool.

> >

> > Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The

entire

> > concept is overrated.

> >

> > Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On

> week

> > three you search high and low and finally find two brands of

> powdered

> > protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and

swear

> > they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.

> >

> > You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in

> > protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke

manufacturers

> > have a conspiracy against bandsters.

> >

> > The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more

> > likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so

> > they can replace it with something that tastes good.

> >

> > You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins

> > Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!

> >

> > You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein

> > shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes.

They

> > are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you

> > are still an expert nonetheless.

> >

> > Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they

> > proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming

> > experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.

> >

> > During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing

> (aka

> > PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your

throat

> > will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that

> > isn't possible. Is it?

> >

> > People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded.

> > One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him

> no. ???

> >

> > My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???

> >

> > Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars

and

> > she said, " No, I want to see the band. " ???

> >

> > Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)

> >

> AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!

>

[Guest guest]

Loved the

laugh, thanks! A few comments though. PB means “Productive burping”

and I agree, besides the productive part being true (you produce the food or

slime, or whatever), you are doing more of a “barf”. Also for the

newbies, a great way of trying a protein drink is to order samples off the net

before actually slapping down the dough for them. Unjury.com is one place that

does this. I also learned that the hard way. Most companies will let you order

a one serving sample for just the cost of shipping the packet. I laughed hard

at the name of your band! And yes, when I told people I had the lapband, and

explained it went around the top part of my stomach, they thought I actually

had a rubber band around my abdomen. How they thought that when they knew I had

“weight loss surgery” is beyond me. Can you see someone being put

out with anesthesia just to get a rubber band put around there abdomen? LOL!!

People are so funny sometimes.

M

DOB 3/1/05

280/160/158 under goal!

122lbs GONE!

5ft 6in, Size 8

http://www.tracyslapband.com

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of mybipley

Sent: Thursday, December 28, 2006

6:07 PM

Subject:

Newly Banded Experiences Only A Bandster Would Understand

What I have learned since the hospital experience:

Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you

realize you are officially a bandster!

You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming

before surgery.

I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at all

times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack

rolls are cheaper.

Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results will

be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.

The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery.

However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater

Hospital in the glue,

seriously... check it out in a mirror. You

wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.

You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when

you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.

PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool you

with that " positive burping " nonsense. There is nothing positive

about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.

When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and bend

over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a

gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's

voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You

mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of

your shoe in frustration.

Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that

more people will invite you to their homes for better food than they

have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites, you

know... everything you can't have.

By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating and

your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a Mrs.

Buddha belly might look like.

On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the

inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that works

and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that you

don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be

it.

On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping

them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are walking,

it is not cool.

Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The entire

concept is overrated.

Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On week

three you search high and low and finally find two brands of powdered

protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear

they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.

You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in

protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers

have a conspiracy against bandsters.

The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more

likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so

they can replace it with something that tastes good.

You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins

Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!

You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein

shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They

are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you

are still an expert nonetheless.

Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they

proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming

experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.

During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing (aka

PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat

will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that

isn't possible. Is it?

People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded.

One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him no. ???

My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???

Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars and

she said, " No, I want to see the band. " ???

Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)

[Guest guest]

Bibley, You know what?? Before my surgery I read all the past- posts on this site and still never "grasped" the real possibility and probability of sliming and Pb-ing!! I don't know if I just put that out of my mind like.... "I won't have that" or " If I chew well that won't happen"..... like the way I had convinced myself that "I" would be the lucky one that would never need a fill...NOT...4 fills later...LOL... I also never thought that food would get "stuck" like on the first bite no matter how well you chewed it!! Or that I could slime on liquids like WATER!! My band buddy Betty & I both thought " well, after a few bites, no more will fit and you'll be done" Not necessarily :-0, as we have found out over the past 11 months! If that band tightens up on you...well you get the point. I still take each day as a new day and eat based on how the band "feels" at that moment. Truly A rude awakening the first sliming/PB-ing episode I had which was on Jello day-3. It sooo sucked and I never ate Jello again!! I really thought I damaged something...now I know I didn't and that PB-ing is always a possibility, not desirable but likely and sometimes to frequent!! Sometimes it comes out of no where like a cough might cause my last sip of tea to come"hurling" out across my dash board!! Ugg...I keep tons of napkins in my console for just that reason..lol..and ALWAYS a can or cup nearby..just in-case..even next to my bed!

Really, I can deal with it...it's not always..and I am prepared when it does happen. I guess that's why many bandsters don't go into detail about it because they can deal with it ok considering the weight loss. To most of us, it's a small price to pay for such great rewards! Truly, I believe MANY are with you on this..only a few may go into details however...why??? who knows..

Remember too that not everyone will slime or PB and some only rarely do. Tracey said once the she had only PBed 5 times in over a year! I however remember sliming/PB-ing 5 times in one day!! Everyone's different. The "warning" was whispered...not yelled in our cases anyway...and you just can't really know what people where talking about until "you know".....you know??. Even if it was blasted in my ears I would have still went and had my band. I'm glad I have it, slimming and all!! Keep your chin-up, it's a learning process and you'll do just fine :-) Have a Happy "slime free" New Year!!

Dana

2-1-06

200-140-140

-------------- Original message -------------- From: "mybipley" <mybipley@...>

Dana...Yes, the band does always have the last say. People never told me that before surgery, just like they never told me the concept of sliming. ;o)))))> >> > What I have learned since the hospital experience:> > > > Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you > > realize you are officially a bandster!> > > &gt

; You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming > > before surgery.> > > > I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at > all > > times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack > > rolls are cheaper.> > > > Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results > will > > be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.> > > > The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery. > > However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater > > Hospital in the glue, seriously... check it out in a mirror. You > > wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.> > > > You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when > > you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.> > > > PB'in

g *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool > you > > with that "positive burping" nonsense. There is nothing positive > > about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.> > > > When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and > bend > > over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a > > gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's > > voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You > > mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of > > your shoe in frustration.> > > > Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that > > more people will invite you to their homes for better food than > they > > have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites, > you > > know... everythin

g you can't have.> > > > By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating > and > > your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a > Mrs. > > Buddha belly might look like.> > > > On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the > > inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that > works > > and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that > you > > don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be > > it.> > > > On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping > > them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are > walking, > > it is not cool.> > > > Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The entire > > concept is ove

rrated.> > > > Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On > week > > three you search high and low and finally find two brands of > powdered > > protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear > > they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.> > > > You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in > > protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers > > have a conspiracy against bandsters.> > > > The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more > > likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so > > they can replace it with something that tastes good.> > > > You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins > > Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!> > > > You suddenl

y realize you have become quite an expert in Protein > > shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They > > are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you > > are still an expert nonetheless.> > > > Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they > > proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming > > experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.> > > > During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing > (aka > > PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat > > will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that > > isn't possible. Is it?> > > > People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded. > > One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him BR>> no. ???> > > > My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???> > > > Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars and > > she said, "No, I want to see the band." ???> > > > Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)> >> AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!>

[Guest guest]

i WOULD LIKE TO SEE A LIST OF THE 'GOOD TASTING' protein drinksskinygirl06 <skinygirl06@...> wrote: >> What I have learned since the hospital experience:> > Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you > realize you are officially a bandster!> > You question why nobody told you about the experience

of sliming > before surgery.> > I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at all > times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack > rolls are cheaper.> > Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results will > be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.> > The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery. > However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater > Hospital in the glue, seriously... check it out in a mirror. You > wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.> > You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when > you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.> > PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool you > with that "positive burping" nonsense. There is nothing positive >

about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.> > When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and bend > over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a > gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's > voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You > mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of > your shoe in frustration.> > Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that > more people will invite you to their homes for better food than they > have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites, you > know... everything you can't have.> > By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating and > your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a Mrs. > Buddha belly might look like.>

> On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the > inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that works > and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that you > don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be > it.> > On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping > them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are walking, > it is not cool.> > Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The entire > concept is overrated.> > Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On week > three you search high and low and finally find two brands of powdered > protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear > they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.> > You go to a 'better'

health food store and spend another $50 in > protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers > have a conspiracy against bandsters.> > The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more > likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so > they can replace it with something that tastes good.> > You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins > Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!> > You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein > shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They > are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you > are still an expert nonetheless.> > Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they > proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming > experience you suddenly realize that

yours is named, The Evil One.> > During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing (aka > PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat > will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that > isn't possible. Is it?> > People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded. > One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him no. ???> > My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???> > Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars and > she said, "No, I want to see the band." ???> > Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)>AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!! __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the clarification. I have heard it as Positive Burping,

productive burping, and partial burping. I *still* think it is

Positively Barfing.

Anyone have links for good protein shake places? I am going to stick

with Atkins but a friend is considering surgery and she needs samples

of products to try before she schedules the procedure.

>

> Loved the laugh, thanks! A few comments though. PB means " Productive

> burping " and I agree, besides the productive part being true (you

produce

> the food or slime, or whatever), you are doing more of a " barf " .

Also for

> the newbies, a great way of trying a protein drink is to order

samples off

> the net before actually slapping down the dough for them.

Unjury.com is one

> place that does this. I also learned that the hard way. Most

companies will

> let you order a one serving sample for just the cost of shipping

the packet.

> I laughed hard at the name of your band! And yes, when I told

people I had

> the lapband, and explained it went around the top part of my

stomach, they

> thought I actually had a rubber band around my abdomen. How they

thought

> that when they knew I had " weight loss surgery " is beyond me. Can

you see

> someone being put out with anesthesia just to get a rubber band put

around

> there abdomen? LOL!! People are so funny sometimes.

>

> <http://www.TickerFactory.com/>

>

> M

> DOB 3/1/05

> 280/160/158 under goal! 122lbs GONE!

> 5ft 6in, Size 8

> <http://www.tracyslapband.com/> http://www.tracyslapband.com

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of mybipley

> Sent: Thursday, December 28, 2006 6:07 PM

>

> Subject: Newly Banded Experiences Only A

Bandster

> Would Understand

>

>

>

> What I have learned since the hospital experience:

>

> Sliming is gross and will happen to you too. Only then will you

> realize you are officially a bandster!

>

> You question why nobody told you about the experience of sliming

> before surgery.

>

> I believe in Bounty brand paper towels and I keep them with me at

all

> times. It required getting a larger purse but the larger 10 pack

> rolls are cheaper.

>

> Never burp with *anything* in your little stomach. The results will

> be amazingly shocking for the average newbie.

>

> The epoxy on your stomach eventually does come off from surgery.

> However, if you look carefully you can see the image of Almater

> Hospital in the glue, seriously... check it out in a mirror. You

> wonder what they pay for that advertising gimmick.

>

> You question if it can be considered a NSV (Non Scale Victory) when

> you can poop pain free for the first time during week #1.

>

> PB'ing *really* means Positively Barfing. Don't let anyone fool you

> with that " positive burping " nonsense. There is nothing positive

> about it except that it will indeed cause barfing.

>

> When you believe you have finally fully healed from surgery and

bend

> over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor you suddenly feel a

> gut stabbing pain and in the back of your mind you hear Yolanda's

> voice telling you to bend from the knees, not to bend over. You

> mutter swear words and rub the lint into the floor with the heel of

> your shoe in frustration.

>

> Don't have surgery over the holidays. It is a sure fire bet that

> more people will invite you to their homes for better food than

they

> have ever prepared before. It happens to be all your favorites, you

> know... everything you can't have.

>

> By week two you think the gas from surgery is finally dissipating

and

> your Buddha belly is starting to look a little more like what a

Mrs.

> Buddha belly might look like.

>

> On week three you notice the scale is drastically different but the

> inches don't go away for a few more days. You wonder how that works

> and start contemplating earth pressure and barometer things that

you

> don't quite understand but you take guesses and assume that must be

> it.

>

> On week four it is cool when your jeans come off without unzipping

> them. When it happens unintentionally in public as you are walking,

> it is not cool.

>

> Isopure (aka IsooooooPuke)... who needs protein anyway? The entire

> concept is overrated.

>

> Health food stores make a great deal of money on bandsters. On week

> three you search high and low and finally find two brands of

powdered

> protein shakes and spend $50 just to get home, try them, and swear

> they are made by the freaks that make Isoooopuke.

>

> You go to a 'better' health food store and spend another $50 in

> protein shakes, get them home and realize Isoooopuke manufacturers

> have a conspiracy against bandsters.

>

> The more the health food store pushes a particular brand the more

> likely it is they haven't found any other suckers to buy it up so

> they can replace it with something that tastes good.

>

> You go to the grocery store and buy the cheaper stuff, Atkins

> Advantage Shakes and you LIKE it!

>

> You suddenly realize you have become quite an expert in Protein

> shakes and your cupboard is full of various brands and sizes. They

> are made from eggs, whey, milk, soy... They are all gross but you

> are still an expert nonetheless.

>

> Before surgery you look at people with a raised eyebrow when they

> proudly explain they named their band. During your first sliming

> experience you suddenly realize that yours is named, The Evil One.

>

> During an especially unpleasant experience of Positively Barfing

(aka

> PBing) you question something, if you touch the back of your throat

> will you feel your band? A couple of hours later you realize that

> isn't possible. Is it?

>

> People will ask you the strangest questions after you are banded.

> One person asked me if I can breathe with a band. I told him no. ???

>

> My sister asked me if she can have my band when I die. ???

>

> Another asked if they could see my band. I showed her my scars and

> she said, " No, I want to see the band. " ???

>

> Life with a band is certainly entertaining. ;o)

>