I wish

[Guest guest]

Amber,

I WISH I was coming to the picnic. But with all these plastic surgeries and

the hernia ones to boot I am afraid the old wallet won't expand any further. I

am hoping to take this skinnier body to Jamaica in April for two weeks so I am

saving my pennies as much as I can on my new job's wages which ain't much.

Monticello is where my son got his braces. We were in the ministry at the

time and there was a wonderful Orthodontist/dentist who did work on

Missionaries/Pastor's families teeth free so we drove up there sometimes weekly

for over two years. They have a GREAT KMART! Can y'all tell I LOVE to shop? I

am going on my sixth week at my new job and haven't worn the same dress or shirt

yet! Yippee Skippy!

in MN

[Guest guest]

Joy, If you can afford it look into getting an AlphaSmart. It

is a portable keyboard that allows him to write without being

hindered by imperfections of letters, or illegiable handwriting. My

son has one and it allows him to not " get stuck " while having to

write or test essays in class. He is 10 years old.

> I was reading thru the posts tonite and was thinking the above! I

> wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry wart

> and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why " or

> something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

>

> Remember we live with my mom who is oblivious to things until she

> takes an interest & will be 80 this Aug. And still doesn't get

> 's OCD. When he used to often get physically " stuck " she

> seemed to think he was cramped up or something, LOL. I could SAY

> it's his OCD, he can't move until it " feels right " but she just

> didn't get it. (Plus she's a hoarder, but until I read about OCD

> hoarding, I didn't realize it WAS OCD either; then some other

things

> from growing up fell into place too!)

>

> Soooo....tonite while I'm writing 's math out for him, she

> comes upstairs and asks why can't write his own work.

> 's silent about it, shrugs shoulders, says " because no

> one can read his writing " and I say " because of his OCD. " (both

> right answers, actually.) Later I asked what was his

answer

> to grandma's question of " why? " He says " 'cause. " I tell him I

> think it would be really better for him if he could open up more

and

> be more specific about things. He says " BEcause. "

>

> Good news is he only had brought home 2 leftover social studies

> questions (he does manage to write at school) and I asked him could

> he write those. He shrugs. I say well you should no if you CAN or

> CAN'T write them. So he'll try. I tell him to answer those 2

while

> I go get him a drink. I come back with the drink and he says he

> thinks he found the answer to the 1st one. And asks would I read

the

> question. So I do (thinking, well how'd he find the answer if he

> hadn't already read the question??). So he actually write the

answer

> (still pretty sloppy, but I could read it). The next question is 3

> words - " what is wadis " . He asks ME to read it! Knowing he must

> have read it, I read it anyway. Then he proceeds to write down the

> answer. I guess it's some OCD thing! I SHOULD have said, " well

you

> read it to me. " Next time I will and see what happens.

>

> At home he can read out loud to me fine. But reading to himself

> starts him whining and getting stressed and the " I can't " stuff.

> (Last yr explained he had to repeat stuff until it sounded right in

> his head; guess this is what he's still doing). And I just cannot

> handle meltdowns after 8-9 hrs of work!

>

> Anyway, I told him we'd start trying and let him write down 2

answers

> each night. And silently thought we could eventually work our way

up

> to more!

>

> BUT I WISH he'd open up more like most of this group's kids. I

> really think it'd help him be able to work on behaviors more

> effectively. When I think about it tho, all growing up - even back

> when he was just this always-smiling kid - he was always talkative

> about everything and anything - too much at times - unless you

asked

> about HIM and maybe " why do you do this " or anything that

> was " personal. " He was very huggable & loving though and would

> say " I love you. " But at times I'd know he was scared or even NOT

> know why he was acting a certain way, he would give me no answer

> about what was going on.

>

> So you parents with kids who will talk about OCD telling them to do

> things, etc., I ENVY YOU!!!!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Joy, If you can afford it look into getting an AlphaSmart. It

is a portable keyboard that allows him to write without being

hindered by imperfections of letters, or illegiable handwriting. My

son has one and it allows him to not " get stuck " while having to

write or test essays in class. He is 10 years old.

> I was reading thru the posts tonite and was thinking the above! I

> wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry wart

> and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why " or

> something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

>

> Remember we live with my mom who is oblivious to things until she

> takes an interest & will be 80 this Aug. And still doesn't get

> 's OCD. When he used to often get physically " stuck " she

> seemed to think he was cramped up or something, LOL. I could SAY

> it's his OCD, he can't move until it " feels right " but she just

> didn't get it. (Plus she's a hoarder, but until I read about OCD

> hoarding, I didn't realize it WAS OCD either; then some other

things

> from growing up fell into place too!)

>

> Soooo....tonite while I'm writing 's math out for him, she

> comes upstairs and asks why can't write his own work.

> 's silent about it, shrugs shoulders, says " because no

> one can read his writing " and I say " because of his OCD. " (both

> right answers, actually.) Later I asked what was his

answer

> to grandma's question of " why? " He says " 'cause. " I tell him I

> think it would be really better for him if he could open up more

and

> be more specific about things. He says " BEcause. "

>

> Good news is he only had brought home 2 leftover social studies

> questions (he does manage to write at school) and I asked him could

> he write those. He shrugs. I say well you should no if you CAN or

> CAN'T write them. So he'll try. I tell him to answer those 2

while

> I go get him a drink. I come back with the drink and he says he

> thinks he found the answer to the 1st one. And asks would I read

the

> question. So I do (thinking, well how'd he find the answer if he

> hadn't already read the question??). So he actually write the

answer

> (still pretty sloppy, but I could read it). The next question is 3

> words - " what is wadis " . He asks ME to read it! Knowing he must

> have read it, I read it anyway. Then he proceeds to write down the

> answer. I guess it's some OCD thing! I SHOULD have said, " well

you

> read it to me. " Next time I will and see what happens.

>

> At home he can read out loud to me fine. But reading to himself

> starts him whining and getting stressed and the " I can't " stuff.

> (Last yr explained he had to repeat stuff until it sounded right in

> his head; guess this is what he's still doing). And I just cannot

> handle meltdowns after 8-9 hrs of work!

>

> Anyway, I told him we'd start trying and let him write down 2

answers

> each night. And silently thought we could eventually work our way

up

> to more!

>

> BUT I WISH he'd open up more like most of this group's kids. I

> really think it'd help him be able to work on behaviors more

> effectively. When I think about it tho, all growing up - even back

> when he was just this always-smiling kid - he was always talkative

> about everything and anything - too much at times - unless you

asked

> about HIM and maybe " why do you do this " or anything that

> was " personal. " He was very huggable & loving though and would

> say " I love you. " But at times I'd know he was scared or even NOT

> know why he was acting a certain way, he would give me no answer

> about what was going on.

>

> So you parents with kids who will talk about OCD telling them to do

> things, etc., I ENVY YOU!!!!

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/3/02 9:59:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,

@... writes:

> he was always talkative

> about everything and anything - too much at times - unless you asked

> about HIM and maybe " why do you do this " or anything that

> was " personal. " He was very huggable & loving though and would

> say " I love you. "

This sounds like my son before Ocd. How I wish he was more open, we talk

after I keep asking. He says If I tell you will you leave me alone! LOL

Tammy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/3/02 9:59:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,

@... writes:

> he was always talkative

> about everything and anything - too much at times - unless you asked

> about HIM and maybe " why do you do this " or anything that

> was " personal. " He was very huggable & loving though and would

> say " I love you. "

This sounds like my son before Ocd. How I wish he was more open, we talk

after I keep asking. He says If I tell you will you leave me alone! LOL

Tammy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/3/02 9:59:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,

@... writes:

> he was always talkative

> about everything and anything - too much at times - unless you asked

> about HIM and maybe " why do you do this " or anything that

> was " personal. " He was very huggable & loving though and would

> say " I love you. "

This sounds like my son before Ocd. How I wish he was more open, we talk

after I keep asking. He says If I tell you will you leave me alone! LOL

Tammy

[Guest guest]

Hi (and all who have " non-talkers " when it comes to their OCD)--I did have

quite a talker in my daughter from age 4.11 yrs (onset) up until about a year

ago--but then she abruptly shut up about OCD, in what ways " he " was bothering

her, etc. etc.--and even began lying about it, saying she hardly noticed OCD

anymore, this when I had watched her struggle through particularly hard days.

It turns out that she had gotten a big obsessional idea that if she told anyone

who might help about OCD, " he " would get much worse and she might not be able to

stand it, or maybe I or she would die, and so on. I wonder how common this sort

of obsession may be.

I can certainly sympathize with you, I very much preferred when Kel would tell

on OCD--it made everything, erp, doctor's appointments, day-to-day life much

less confusing and frustrating. However she has been tentatively working on

telling the truth about OCD here lately with her therapist--not me--and it does

seem she's making some slow headway in that she seems less wary and anxious when

the subject comes up. I doubt she'll ever go back to complaining and tattling

on " him " the way she did when ages 4, 5 and 6 though, these days she's finding

OCD thoughts more embarassing.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: I was reading thru the posts tonite and was thinking the

above! I

wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry wart

and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why " or

something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

[Guest guest]

> I

> wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry wart

> and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why " or

> something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

>

Dear

I understand your wish. I think so much of it has to do with the

personality of the child. My daughter has always been talkative,

about *everything* and she has always told me everything. My younger

one is less apt to do that.

Also, with , I believe that her telling me everything is part of

her Ocd. She has identified this herself -- she will tell me a

thought, or an obsession she can't get rid of, and then she

says, " Whew! Now I can quit thinking about it. " So, I am actually

part of her obsession/compulsion cycle. Telling me is the

compulsion, in other words.

Our psychologist has said that I need to disengage from this

somewhat, so that I'm not the " needed tool " for to deal with

the thoughts. But I have to admit to resisting that tactic thus far,

and going with my motherly instinct to completely be there for my

daughter. She's so young, and the intrusive thoughts can be so

scary ... I'm glad she still tells me, because we're still figuring

out how to cope with it all. It also helps that we homeschool, so I

really am easily available to her almost all the time. If she were

in a school situation, I could see my needing to pull back more from

the " telling. "

At any rate, I just wanted to send you a hug and a reassurance that

we all have different struggles with this stuff -- for some of us,

it's hearing *everything* from our child, and for you, it's hearing

nothing. Either way, we're carrying a cross. Thank goodness for the

support we can offer each other here. :-)

Blessings,

[Guest guest]

> > I

> > wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry

wart

> > and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why " or

> > something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

> >

>

> Dear

>

> I understand your wish. I think so much of it has to do with the

> personality of the child. My daughter has always been talkative,

> about *everything* and she has always told me everything. My

younger

> one is less apt to do that.

>

> Also, with , I believe that her telling me everything is part

of

> her Ocd. She has identified this herself -- she will tell me a

> thought, or an obsession she can't get rid of, and then she

> says, " Whew! Now I can quit thinking about it. " So, I am actually

> part of her obsession/compulsion cycle. Telling me is the

> compulsion, in other words.

>

> Our psychologist has said that I need to disengage from this

> somewhat, so that I'm not the " needed tool " for to deal with

> the thoughts. But I have to admit to resisting that tactic thus

far,

> and going with my motherly instinct to completely be there for my

> daughter. She's so young, and the intrusive thoughts can be so

> scary ... I'm glad she still tells me, because we're still figuring

> out how to cope with it all. It also helps that we homeschool, so

I

> really am easily available to her almost all the time. If she were

> in a school situation, I could see my needing to pull back more

from

> the " telling. "

>

> At any rate, I just wanted to send you a hug and a reassurance that

> we all have different struggles with this stuff -- for some of us,

> it's hearing *everything* from our child, and for you, it's hearing

> nothing. Either way, we're carrying a cross. Thank goodness for

the

> support we can offer each other here. :-)

>

> Blessings,

>

[Guest guest]

My 10 year old also needs to hear a response from me " in order to go

on " and also in a certain tone! If I don't, meltdown occurs! He

starts writhing on the floor, crying, begging and acting like he

has Cerebral Palsy! Some days I am strong, but not as much as I need

to be! Other days I feel like a rock! However, we all know about

Pavlov's dog! So I can't blame my son for trying, because he will get

his reward! :-( My son also rages when I talk about bossing the OCD

back! It is scarey on how rageful he can get! He doesn't do anything,

but I see the intensity!

Its tough some days! I try to enjoy the moment, but I'm always

waiting for the other shoe to drop! :-(

> > > I

> > > wish could open up and talk about his OCD/brain/worry

> wart

> > > and how it makes him feel or what it makes him do or say " why "

or

> > > something!! He is still so closed-mouthed.

> > >

> >

> > Dear

> >

> > I understand your wish. I think so much of it has to do with the

> > personality of the child. My daughter has always been talkative,

> > about *everything* and she has always told me everything. My

> younger

> > one is less apt to do that.

> >

> > Also, with , I believe that her telling me everything is

part

> of

> > her Ocd. She has identified this herself -- she will tell me a

> > thought, or an obsession she can't get rid of, and then she

> > says, " Whew! Now I can quit thinking about it. " So, I am

actually

> > part of her obsession/compulsion cycle. Telling me is the

> > compulsion, in other words.

> >

> > Our psychologist has said that I need to disengage from this

> > somewhat, so that I'm not the " needed tool " for to deal

with

> > the thoughts. But I have to admit to resisting that tactic thus

> far,

> > and going with my motherly instinct to completely be there for my

> > daughter. She's so young, and the intrusive thoughts can be so

> > scary ... I'm glad she still tells me, because we're still

figuring

> > out how to cope with it all. It also helps that we homeschool,

so

> I

> > really am easily available to her almost all the time. If she

were

> > in a school situation, I could see my needing to pull back more

> from

> > the " telling. "

> >

> > At any rate, I just wanted to send you a hug and a reassurance

that

> > we all have different struggles with this stuff -- for some of

us,

> > it's hearing *everything* from our child, and for you, it's

hearing

> > nothing. Either way, we're carrying a cross. Thank goodness for

> the

> > support we can offer each other here. :-)

> >

> > Blessings,

> >