RE: [SPAM] Helping child deal with death

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry for the difficulty you are facing. I lost my mom last year and it was very, very hard. We had an open casket but I did not allow my son to look at her (that was very traumatic for me as a child with my grandfather and I didn't want that "picture" in my son's head) but that is a very personal decision you need to make for your son. Your son needs to ask all the questions maybe to help him deal with it - just like it help everyone to talk things out and keep talking - it is therapy. My son is 7.2 so it is a very different situation then with your son. Also, I'm not sure on your spiritual belief but I focused on the Heaven part and how we all end up in heaven in due time. We will all be together again. No one feels pain in heaven. Etc. It is a good idea to talk to a counselor and get some good advice too. I'm so sorry for your struggle - we are all keeping you in our thoughts.

Becky

p.s. we've recently added the funnest roller coasters are in heaven too!

----- Original Message -----

From: becky griggs

Autism Ohio

Sent: 11/17/2006 8:48:18 AM

Subject: [sPAM] [ ] Helping child deal with death

I am sorry for starting the day with such a hard topic. But I am at a lose right now on how to handle this and need as much input as can be offered.

My father is losing a 10 year battle with lung deaese. He has been in ICU since late Sunday and each day has been harder and harder for him to get air moving. We took up to see him Monday, butit took 30 of him standing at Dads door before he would let us guide him in. Even than all he could do is sit in the chair ad not talk to anyone. I have accepted the fact that may not be able to talk to his Grandpa when he looks like this. So I have not forced him to go in the room or even go to the hospital.

Mom and Dad met with all his specialist this morning and Dad has asked that he be allowed to go. I will respect my father wishes, no matter how hard they are, but I am worried about reaction after he passes. We have lost other close to us but never anyone this close. I also know that will go into his 3-6 week stage of talking about death, dieing, everyone is dying, why did grandpa die, how did grandpa did, why did his lung stop, why didn't the doctors help him, and etc. Bob & I understand why he is asking these questions, but other familiy memebrs will get highly upset when he contains to ask these question. I am trying to develop aplan to hand things when he ask people, and he will be asking everyone at the funeral home, the funeral and he sees until he has it all out of his head. I also know that will be in a drop of the dime crying state for a while over mssing his Grandpa. I understand this is normal. I have called the therapist that used to work with him and also have talked to a social worker with Stain Hospit about their grief program for kids and she is hooking us up with them today.

Please help me figure out what we can do to help be more social approprate in this setting

Becky

Becky

Mother to , 16, Autism, Epilepsy, Cerebal Palsy, MR, ADHD

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