Thought you would enjoy this

June 25, 2001

In a message dated 6/25/2001 10:39:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

njtomato@... writes:

>

> Subject: Just a good policy

> 1. Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying " Why, thank you "

> 2. Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra,

> some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are

> there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

> 3. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

> 4. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

> 5. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter and doesn't like

> dogs/cats.

> 6. Good sex should involve laughter. Because think about it, it is funny.

> 7. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it

> should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

> 8. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: " I

> apologize " and " You are right " .

> 9. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

> 10. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat

> crow while it's still warm.

> 11. The best advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was, " Go! You

> might meet somebody! "

> 12. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her, believe it.

> 13. I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one

> year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

> 14. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

> 15. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

> 16. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a

> bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right

> about you.

> 17. Knowing how to listen to music is as great a talent as knowing how to

> make it.

> 18. Work is good but it's not that important.

> 19. Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

> 20. And finally, be really nice to your friends. You never know when you

> are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

>

Recommended Posts