Re: Stop the Madness!!!

October 25, 2006

Hey Suzanne,

Would your psych go with you to one of the meetings? Are you writing to the

school board summarizing what’s going on, and sending them thru certified

mail? Do you have an advocate yet? Maybe someone else would comment on this but

the advocate who’s working with us told me there’s a department

that polices the schools, that’s called the office of school options,

we’re in a charter school, but I’m thinking they police all, so

maybe you should file a complaint. Here’s where I found my advocate: http://www.ocecd.org/ocecd/about/staff.cfm

-----Original Message-----

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf

Of SBShaft@...

Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006

7:52 PM

Subject: [ ] Stop the

Madness!!!

Hi, everyone!

When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is

the first one went fine.

Then there's the not-so-good news....

The second meeting dealt with " behavior

issues " for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's

and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior

problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along

with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's

because he perseverates on cartoon

characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the

point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of

school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new

" behavior changes. " Basically, they were informing me that

they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having

more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to

read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to

happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my " cease and

desist " letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior

plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned:

·

They brought in a behavior consultant to

observe him and help come up with these " behavior changes "

without my knowledge or consent.

·

Had I not stopped them, they would

have done this without having bothered to do an FBA

and figure out what was causing him to perseverate

so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety,

no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior

when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started

apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't

want to " stress me out " over it, so they thought they could just

handle it at school.

·

They have a " calm " room that he goes to

when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has

no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and

there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in

there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what

he looks like when he's tantruming.

·

I had to ask for a neutral third-party to

come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's

what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior

consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped

through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling

me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had

preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to

the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative

behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of

this.

·

I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his

characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with

this. I asked them to give this a try.

·

I gave them information on his disorder so that

they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing,

screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent.

·

When I observed my son in class, he seemed very

stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he

will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the

therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of

people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not

like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, " I work. "

I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like

this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence

at school.

I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in

school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the

" behavior consultant " was from. I told her PEP Cleveland.

She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe

conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD

kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally

different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative

behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they

already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for

his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his

communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using

on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED

THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

The psych is concerned that the school might be

handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior

consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way,

perhaps using the " calm " room as a punishment instead of a

safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy,

trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying

things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me

if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they

were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior

plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

--Suzanne

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October 25, 2006

Yeah, I agree - have the psych write a letter or come to the meeting. And, get an advocate please. cws9 <cws9@...> wrote: Hey Suzanne,

Would your psych go with you to one of the meetings? Are you writing to the school board summarizing what’s going on, and sending them thru certified mail? Do you have an advocate yet? Maybe someone else would comment on this but the advocate who’s working with us told me there’s a department that polices the schools, that’s called the office of school options, we’re in a charter school, but I’m thinking they police all, so maybe you should file a complaint. Here’s where I found my advocate: http://www.ocecd.org/ocecd/about/staff.cfm -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of SBShaftaolSent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 7:52 PM Subject: [ ] Stop the Madness!!! Hi, everyone! When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine. Then

there's the not-so-good news.... The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically,

they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting. Here's what I learned: · They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. · Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they

handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. · They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. · I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this. · I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. · I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. · When I

observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school. I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct

disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER. The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong,

due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore. Any suggestions? Thanks, --Suzanne Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and

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October 25, 2006

Suzanne - Reading your post just makes me upset. The school has

violated IDEA in more than one place - evaluating and changing your

son's special education WITHOUT your knowledge and consent. Using a

negative behavior plan instead of a positive behavior plan etc.

I'm afraid I have no suggestions, only what I would want to do if I

were in your shoes. But what I would want to do would NOT be the

prudent thing to do, perhaps.

Here's what I would want to do:

1. Get a written statement from the private psychiatrist that a

negative behavior plan would/could cause my son harm.

2. Carefully read and reread and reread his IEP again and again,

noting in detail exactly where the school strayed from his IEP.

Does his IEP say sensory breaks in a calming room on a regular

basis? Then the school strayed from his IEP on multiple counts.

The broom closet is not a calming room, but a punishment room. The

breaks were not sensory breaks! And the breaks were not given on a

regular basis, but when they thought he needed punishment.

3. Continue to work with the school in earnest to modify his IEP to

get the correct services, supports and placement to make school a

educationally profitable place for your son. Ask yourself, in a

perfect world, what would you want the school to do now? Given your

son's diagnosis, would you want a Positive Behavior Plan? The

school to incorporate the cartoon characters in his lesson plans? I

would want the school to make the broom closet a broom closet again,

because your son probably has very bad feelings about that place.

He might have a meltdown just walking into the room! They need to

use a different room for his sensory breaks - with no mirrors - and

to have SCHEDULED sensory breaks, not just when he is in meltdown

mode. I'd want the school to PREVENT the meltdowns, not to REACT to

them! And do you want to trust them to teach your son? Is the

public school where you want your child? I'm not saying it isn't -

only you know if the local school is the right fit for your son.

Perhaps the school personnel will listen to you, change what they

are doing, work with you to help your son. If the local school

isn't, where would be the right placement for your son?

4. And most importantly, I'd talk to a lawyer. Let someone

knowledgeable with special ed law look at your son's IEP and hear

what the school has done. All that the school has done has HARMED

your son's education and his sense of well-being!

{{{{ an aside:

>He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like

him.<

Suzanne, not wanting to eat is not like any well normal human

being. Eating is vital to our existance and most people, if they

are not physically ill or stressed out, will want to eat! Think

about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The lower levels of need are:

survival, safety, belonging, and self-esteem. Only when these 4

needs are met can the individual begin to met the higher needs of

intellectual achievement, aesthetic appreciation, and self-

actualization. It seems to me that the school is undermining the 4

lower level needs, so how can your son even begin to start to learn

there (intellectual achievement)?? }}}}

Anyway, the lawyer would be able to let you know what your options

are and give you advice on how to get the school to give you what

you want for your son - what he needs. What I'm about to write

might sound cold of me, because no child should have to go through

the ordeal that your son has, but considering the procedural

violations on the part of the school, perhaps you can parlay this

whole experience into a much better placement for your son with the

supports and services and knowledgeable personnel he needs {the key

word here probably is Knowledgeable personnel}. If you don't know

of a good lawyer, I can give you a name. Last time I consulted with

her, she charged $200/hour, and she gave me good advice during the

hour meeting we had.

But I am very upset right now, and probably not thinking straight.

For a school to treat a 6 year old like they have, I just want to

crucify them. Chris

>

> Hi, everyone!

>

> When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same

week. The good news is the first one went fine.

>

> Then there's the not-so-good news....

>

> The second meeting dealt with " behavior issues " for my oldest son

(nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a

behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to

get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well,

it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's

anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of

interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of

school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his

new " behavior changes. " Basically, they were informing me that they

were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be

having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was

supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was

what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I

wrote my " cease and desist " letter and informed them that I felt

this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we

called a meeting.

>

> Here's what I learned:

> They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come

up with these " behavior changes " without my knowledge or consent.

> Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having

bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to

perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all

the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could

modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when

they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it

wrong, but they didn't want to " stress me out " over it, so they

thought they could just handle it at school.

> They have a " calm " room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown

mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social

stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy

balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it

on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's

tantruming.

> I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the

assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior

consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times

she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of

notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!).

So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had

preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no

guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling

and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to

support any of this.

> I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his

lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked

them to give this a try.

> I gave them information on his disorder so that they will

understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing,

screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or

consent.

> When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The

classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no

longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the

therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard

about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at

recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school

all he says is, " I work. " I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in

awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily

occurence at school.

> I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I

called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the " behavior

consultant " was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out.

She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct

disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the

methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different.

She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior

plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they

already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case

for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his

communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be

reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been

happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

>

> The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the

situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior

consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way,

perhaps using the " calm " room as a punishment instead of a safe-

haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't)

and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of

course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him,

and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought

they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't

know what to think anymore.

>

> Any suggestions?

>

> Thanks,

> --Suzanne

October 25, 2006

Suzanne - This is great advice. If you are in the Cleveland area,

give Barb Rutt a call. She's great! Chris

>

> Hey Suzanne,

>

> Would your psych go with you to one of the meetings? Are

you

> writing to the school board summarizing what's going on, and

sending them

> thru certified mail? Do you have an advocate yet? Maybe someone

else would

> comment on this but the advocate who's working with us told me

there's a

> department that polices the schools, that's called the office of

school

> options, we're in a charter school, but I'm thinking they police

all, so

> maybe you should file a complaint. Here's where I found my

advocate:

> http://www.ocecd.org/ocecd/about/staff.cfm

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: [mailto: ]

On Behalf

> Of SBShaft@...

> Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 7:52 PM

>

> Subject: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

>

> Hi, everyone!

>

> When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same

week. The

> good news is the first one went fine.

>

> Then there's the not-so-good news....

>

> The second meeting dealt with " behavior issues " for my oldest son

(nearly 7)

> who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior

problem. He

> is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with

everyone. So,

> why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates

on cartoon

> characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to

the point

> of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of

school,

> they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his

new " behavior

> changes. " Basically, they were informing me that they were going

to take

> away all of his characters and that he would be having more

outbursts and

> tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this

social

> story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and

that he

> WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my " cease and desist " letter

and

> informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that

would cause

> him harm. So, we called a meeting.

>

> Here's what I learned:

>

> * They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and

help come

> up with these " behavior changes " without my knowledge or consent.

>

> * Had I not stopped them, they would have done this

without having

> bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to

perseverate so

> much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety,

no one

> knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when

they didn't

> know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me

and saying

> that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to " stress

me out "

> over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school.

>

> * They have a " calm " room that he goes to when he's in

full-meltdown

> mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social

stories

> are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls,

teddy

> bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall

so that

> he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming.

>

> * I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do

the

> assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior

> consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many

times she has

> observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and

admitted

> it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them

that was my

> point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this

was

> happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding

work,

> overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could

produce no

> data sheets to support any of this.

>

> * I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters

into his

> lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I

asked them to

> give this a try.

>

> * I gave them information on his disorder so that they will

> understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing,

> screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or

consent.

>

> * When I observed my son in class, he seemed very

stressed. The

> classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no

longer tell

> me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he

mentions

> no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He

does not

> want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I

ask him

> anything about school all he says is, " I work. " I haven't seen

him meltdown

> that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but

it's a

> daily occurence at school.

>

> I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I

called his

> child psychiatrist. She asked me where the " behavior consultant "

was from.

> I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were

great with

> kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all

for ASD

> kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of

disorders are

> totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a

negative

> behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told

her they

> already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his

case for his

> own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his

communication

> notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using

on a

> regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY

IGNORED THE

> LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

>

> The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the

situation all

> wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is

concerned

> they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the " calm "

room as a

> punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound

comfy,

> trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are

> demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they

are

> mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they

were...however, I

> never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior

plan. So, I

> don't know what to think anymore.

>

> Any suggestions?

>

> Thanks,

>

> --Suzanne

>

> _____

>

<http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/1615326657x4311227241x4298082137/aol?

redir=ht

> tp%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eaol%2Ecom%2Fnewaol> Check out the new AOL. Most

> comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access

to millions

> of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

>

October 25, 2006

Suzanne, I am sorry to hear of your frustration, concern and hurt for your son's well being. I still say and will alway say that nothing bad happens to us...that things only happen for a reason...maybe it is for us to see things differently...in order for us to learn more about ourselves and our needs. It will only make you more aware and stronger as a person to stand on your own two feet and fight for you and your son's rights. Look at this as a positive thing for you and your son...what you are going to learn from this will give you the strength and knowledge to help someone new to all of this madness...like me. I fear for my son to start a new grade and school next year. My husband and I are not financially ready to move and after hearing your story regardless of what school system you are in makes me realize how grateful I am to belong to such a group of people that can reach out and help one another in this so

called madness. I am really considering home schooling my son next year! My son has to go through two more evaluations with the doctor before we get the thorough evaluation/diagnoses. Until than I have to be patient and look at all my options for my son as of his education for the rest of this year and for the coming year. He is in third grade right now and is struggling in school...his teacher just thinks he's lazy and does not apply himself enough. The doctor my son is going to for the evaluation thinks that it is ridiculous and unresponsible on the teachers part. When the doctor saw my son's test/reading scores since 1st grade she was mordified. I can't wait to get the report/diagnoses from the doctor. I will be patient, keep my faith and rely on my higher power for the answers. I wish you blessings for you and your son and hopefully you can help me with all of these new and unexpected things yet to happen for

my son and me. You and your son are in my prayers. By the way what public school system is your child in? Knowing where your son goes to school will help me stay away from that city and school system...HA!HA!HA! P.S. What do you think of homeschooling?SBShaft@... wrote: Hi, everyone! When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine. Then there's the not-so-good news.... The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a

behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned: They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It

has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of

this. I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school. I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE

LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER. The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore. Any suggestions? Thanks, --Suzanne Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

October 25, 2006

First- you should write a letter to the school stating that you are temporarily pulling your son from classes b/c you are concerned for his safety and welfare. Next, you should get your own psyche to go observe the classroom, write her recommendations for a behavior plan and insist that they DO NOT use the "time out room" as a punishment. I also highly recommend someone like Caruso to visit the school and help them to arrange the room to ease your son's anxiety. She will work with the school to help. She is in the Akron area, but I'm sure that there are others who do the same. Contact your SERRC and they might help find someone.

I think legally, without a doc's note you can keep your son out for ten days. This may make them sit up and take notice that you are seriously concerned. If you fear that they are causing damage, it also looks good if this should head into court. If you are genuinely concerned, it will look bad for you to continue to send him.

HTH,

----- Original Message -----

From: SHUBA LENNY

Sent: 10/25/2006 12:43:46 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

Suzanne,

I am sorry to hear of your frustration, concern and hurt for your son's well being. I still say and will alway say that nothing bad happens to us...that things only happen for a reason...maybe it is for us to see things differently...in order for us to learn more about ourselves and our needs. It will only make you more aware and stronger as a person to stand on your own two feet and fight for you and your son's rights. Look at this as a positive thing for you and your son...what you are going to learn from this will give you the strength and knowledge to help someone new to all of this madness...like me. I fear for my son to start a new grade and school next year. My husband and I are not financially ready to move and after hearing your story regardless of what school system you are in makes me realize how grateful I am to belong to such a group of people that can reach out and help one another in this so called madness. I am really considering home schooling my son next year! My son has to go through two more evaluations with the doctor before we get the thorough evaluation/diagnoses. Until than I have to be patient and look at all my options for my son as of his education for the rest of this year and for the coming year. He is in third grade right now and is struggling in school...his teacher just thinks he's lazy and does not apply himself enough. The doctor my son is going to for the evaluation thinks that it is ridiculous and unresponsible on the teachers part. When the doctor saw my son's test/reading scores since 1st grade she was mordified. I can't wait to get the report/diagnoses from the doctor. I will be patient, keep my faith and rely on my higher power for the answers. I wish you blessings for you and your son and hopefully you can help me with all of these new and unexpected things yet to happen for my son and me. You and your son are in my prayers. By the way what public school system is your child in? Knowing where your son goes to school will help me stay away from that city and school system...HA!HA!HA!

P.S. What do you think of homeschooling?SBShaftaol wrote:

Hi, everyone!

When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine.

Then there's the not-so-good news....

The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned:

They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this. I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school.

I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

--Suzanne

Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

October 25, 2006

I am in Summit County -- do you have contact information for Caruso? What organization is she with and what do they do?

Thanks for the help!

--Suzanne

-----Original Message-----

From: rmaher1969@...

Sent: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:09 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

First- you should write a letter to the school stating that you are temporarily pulling your son from classes b/c you are concerned for his safety and welfare. Next, you should get your own psyche to go observe the classroom, write her recommendations for a behavior plan and insist that they DO NOT use the "time out room" as a punishment. I also highly recommend someone like Caruso to visit the school and help them to arrange the room to ease your son's anxiety. She will work with the school to help. She is in the Akron area, but I'm sure that there are others who do the same. Contact your SERRC and they might help find someone.

I think legally, without a doc's note you can keep your son out for ten days. This may make them sit up and take notice that you are seriously concerned. If you fear that they are causing damage, it also looks good if this should head into court. If you are genuinely concerned, it will look bad for you to continue to send him.

HTH,

----- Original Message -----

From: SHUBA LENNY

Sent: 10/25/2006 12:43:46 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

Suzanne,

I am sorry to hear of your frustration, concern and hurt for your son's well being. I still say and will alway say that nothing bad happens to us...that things only happen for a reason...maybe it is for us to see things differently...in order for us to learn more about ourselves and our needs. It will only make you more aware and stronger as a person to stand on your own two feet and fight for you and your son's rights. Look at this as a positive thing for you and your son...what you are going to learn from this will give you the strength and knowledge to help someone new to all of this madness...like me. I fear for my son to start a new grade and school next year. My husband and I are not financially ready to move and after hearing your story regardless of what school system you are in makes me realize how grateful I am to belong to such a group of people that can reach out and help one another in this so called madness. I am really considering home schooling my son next year! My son has to go through two more evaluations with the doctor before we get the thorough evaluation/diagnoses. Until than I have to be patient and look at all my options for my son as of his education for the rest of this year and for the coming year. He is in third grade right now and is struggling in school...his teacher just thinks he's lazy and does not apply himself enough. The doctor my son is going to for the evaluation thinks that it is ridiculous and unresponsible on the teachers part. When the doctor saw my son's test/reading scores since 1st grade she was mordified. I can't wait to get the report/diagnoses from the doctor. I will be patient, keep my faith and rely on my higher power for the answers. I wish you blessings for you and your son and hopefully you can help me with all of these new and unexpected things yet to happen for my son and me. You and your son are in my prayers. By the way what public school system is your child in? Knowing where your son goes to school will help me stay away from that city and school system...HA!HA!HA!

P.S. What do you think of homeschooling?

SBShaftaol wrote:

Hi, everyone!

When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine.

Then there's the not-so-good news....

The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned:

They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this. I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school.

I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

--Suzanne

Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

October 25, 2006

Hi, a --

I'm not sure if I could get the psych to go to one of the meetings (maybe -- I haven't asked yet), as she has a full caseload, and child psychiatrists are sooooo hard to find -- everyone wants a piece of the one you can get an appointment with. I have asked her to write a letter stating what she and I spoke about, and fax it to us so that we can give it to the school. I asked again at school why I haven't heard a response back on the letter I wrote, and I was told the school psych sent me an e-mail yesterday. Well, I asked them to send it again, as I don't have it, and I know the school psych has my correct e-mail address. I still have nothing from her.

Thanks for the info on the website where you find your advocate. I am going to check that out.

Thanks so much for the help.

--Suzanne

-----Original Message-----

From: cws9@...

Sent: Tue, 24 Oct 2006 10:18 PM

Subject: RE: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

Hey Suzanne,

Would your psych go with you to one of the meetings? Are you writing to the school board summarizing whatâ€™s going on, and sending them thru certified mail? Do you have an advocate yet? Maybe someone else would comment on this but the advocate whoâ€™s working with us told me thereâ€™s a department that polices the schools, thatâ€™s called the office of school options, weâ€™re in a charter school, but Iâ€™m thinking they police all, so maybe you should file a complaint. Hereâ€™s where I found my advocate: http://www.ocecd.org/ocecd/about/staff.cfm

-----Original Message-----

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of SBShaftaol

Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 7:52 PM

Subject: [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

Hi, everyone!

When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine.

Then there's the not-so-good news....

The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned:

Â· They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent.

Â· Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school.

Â· They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming.

Â· I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this.

Â· I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try.

Â· I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent.

Â· When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school.

I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

--Suzanne

Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

October 25, 2006

Hi, --

Thank you for all of your input. I appreciate it.

You know, I felt uncomfortable in the "calm" room, but I'm claustrophobic, so I would. Some kids might like it...but that is the problem...I can't tell with him. He can't explain how he feels because of his language deficits. So, when I asked him last night about the "calm" room, he said, "It's at school." "Yes," I answered, "I know. I saw it when I was there. Do you like it?" "Yes, I like it," he answered. Well, does he really, or is he just parroting back what I asked? He does use a lot of echolalic speech. Or, have they told him that he likes it, so that's his answer even if he doesn't? (I wonder that because one of his social stories said, " will be happy." You can't tell anyone how to feel?!?!?!? Yeah, he has Asperger's and he might not have the ability to explain his feelings yet, but he's a human being...he has feelings and he's entitled to them...I just wish I could figure out what they really were.)

Again, he hardly ate breakfast this morning. Again, he told me he didn't feel too good. But, he used his usual default...his allergies are bothering him. So, I asked him if something was bothering him at school. He said yes. I asked him what was wrong at school. He said, "I don't know." I keep telling him that he can tell me anything -- anything at all -- and that if something is bothering him at school, he can tell me to the best of his ability. I will help him. Ugh!!!! I wish I had Harry Potter's invisible cloak so I can go into school unnoticed and observe how things really are.

I spoke to the OT, and she had me fill out another sensory profile to reevaluate his sensory needs. Okay, I'm not opposed to that, as there's obviously a problem. She suggested that full-inclusion might be to his detriment. The psych did ask me how much one-on-one time he has. I honestly don't know. I asked at the meeting, but they just said, "It varies."

I hate to have to get a lawyer. I so can't afford one at this point. But, if need be, then need be. Maybe you can give me your lawyer's name off list, if possible. That way, I'll have it. Did you have to continue to take this lawyer to all meetings with the school -- forever and ever, amen?

Again, I appreciate all the help.

--Suzanne

-----Original Message-----

From: picklespaw@...

Sent: Tue, 24 Oct 2006 11:24 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: Stop the Madness!!!