Re: SAFETY ISSUES was: safety fence

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/22/2006 9:50:45 PM Eastern Standard Time, egerpatt@... writes:

Have been working on this skill conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to help your children learn????????????Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

We did ABA and part of that was responding to his name when called and also learning skills like staying with me. My ds does not run but he wanders. Sometimes, the runner is spurred on by the chase. I would not let him start running in the first place by always having him attached to me or someone at all times, a fence and locks on windows and doors. Then practice constantly - especially outside - with a person calling him and a person holding on to him and to cue him. The 4 yr old I work with now is just now learning to stop and return when called but the skill is shakey. But it's better.

I feel it is one of those skills that has to be prevented until mastered.

RoxannaThe only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.Edmond Burke

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Roxana,

I agree, this skill can not be practiced enough....I guess we will

have to step it up another notch. Things have not been this bad with

him before, I think that he is figuring the system out better yet

that does not make him any better off safety-wise.

I just installed two locks and a new pad lock on the gate. I just

hired extra help for the afternoons/weekedns to have him practice as

much as he possibly can....Problem is, once we get outside, any of

his other skills get weaker as well as there are way more

distractions and the noises, he is possible tuning many many things

out.

We are doing the listening program at the same time which should be

helpful with some of these issues as well....

Oh God, can this get any worse than this??????????????

>

>

> In a message dated 6/22/2006 9:50:45 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> egerpatt@... writes:

>

> Have been working on this skill

> conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does

> anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to

> help your children learn????????????

>

> Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

>

>

>

>

> We did ABA and part of that was responding to his name when called

and also

> learning skills like staying with me. My ds does not run but he

wanders.

> Sometimes, the runner is spurred on by the chase. I would not

let him start

> running in the first place by always having him attached to me or

someone at

> all times, a fence and locks on windows and doors. Then practice

constantly -

> especially outside - with a person calling him and a person

holding on to him

> and to cue him. The 4 yr old I work with now is just now

learning to stop

> and return when called but the skill is shakey. But it's

better.

>

> I feel it is one of those skills that has to be prevented until

mastered.

>

>

> Roxanna

> The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men

to do

> nothing.

> Edmond Burke

>

[Guest guest]

Note: forwarded message attached.

Hi , I currently have one person who is interested. If they decide they do not want it, you will be the next person asked. You are more than welcome to come see this fence. Its design has worked well, although I do have one one suggestion to make it just a bit safer. I would move the latch on the gate down 4-6 inches more from the top. The older kids that would be around showed the younger ones how to stand on a chair and reach over the fence to unlatch the gate. I completely understand and know the fear of seeing your child run into the street. Our street is one of the busier ones in our development. People speed around it quite a bit. I have had several verbal exchanges with people speeding. Besides my autistic son, there are 30+ children under the age of 9 on our short stretch of street. I fear for all of them. If speeding is

an issue, be sure to visit your local police in person and inform them your son is Autistic. Going in person will be more effective than a phone call. As far as a suggestion on keeping your son safe in his neighborhood and home, I have a couple. We had the CCBMRD send out someone to help us ensure our son could not get out of the house too easily. We have a deadbolt on our sliding glass door, similar to this: http://www.doityourself.com/invt/9246224 windows were always locked, an alarm was on the front door for an audible alert if it is opened, and my father in law found a door guard like this: http://www.acehardware.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1295040 & cp= & origkw=door+guards & kw=door+guards & parentPage=search & searchId=5660532516 We put this on each entry door and this has been one of the best investments. The door guard was put near the top of the door so none of our children can reach it. These safety measures have helped greatly. The other way to keep your son safe is to inform neighbors of his needs. We are extremely fortunate to live in a very social neighborhood. Most of our neighbors know us well and have gotten to know our son. Our neighbors have learned a lot from us (and Liam) and have been very helpful and understanding of his needs. I know not everyone can have good neighbors, but engaging

your neighbors and at least informing them of your son's Autism, his tendencies, and how to communicate with him is important. Hopefully everyone at least has amicable neighbors. Regards, Jimegerpatt <egerpatt@...> wrote: Hi Jim, and othersMy name is and I found your information on the autismNE group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the fence you've got to another family that could use some extra safety. We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he

IS a runner, and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running INTO THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it wasn't busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad, but he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all the best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from getting hurt.I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not able to give us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it. Also, we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to keep our son safe

in the house and in the neighborhood. Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors such as running away from the designated area? We are working on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run the program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to help your children learn????????????Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

[Guest guest]

,

I feel your pain and aggrivation on this. Kiernan is also one who

is completely unaware of dangerous situations. We currently have a

handicap sticker on our car because he started running in parking

lots and there were one to many close calls for me to deal with it

anymore. Not like I can keep him at home 24/7.

We live on Columbia Rd which is a main route. Many semi's and cars

and although the speed limit is 25.. I only see cars doing that when

traffic is high... He's gotten out twice now.. and I don't think

I've ever felt my chest pound so hard as I did when getting him back

into the house. Our biggest fear is we share a driveway with our

neighbors and unfortunately they are a house with 5 teens and about

20 of their friends that have cars. We have talked to the mom and a

few of the kids to pull in slowly and let them know about Kiernan,

but they don't seem to care and still whip in and out of the

driveway (part of the main reason that when I saw Jim's post I

emailed him right away) Currently we don't play in the yard with

the kids very often, and never when it's just me here with them. We

stay in the house playing and working until my husband comes home

from work or my sister comes up so I can take the kids to the park.

Luckily Olmsted Falls has some beautiful parks and Kiernan can't get

enough of the wading pool that is walking distance from our house.

For the most part he is good and comes when I call him... but he has

his few " testing mom " moments that I just can't take the chance of

one of them being at the wrong place and time.

Just thought I'd share that you aren't alone.. part of the reason I

love this group so much.. we all can relate to each other on certain

things that are going on with our kids..

Here I am rambling again.. sorry!!

J

>

> Hi Jim, and others

>

> My name is and I found your information on the autismNE

> group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the

> fence you've got to another family that could use some extra

safety.

>

> We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he IS a

runner,

> and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just

> gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running

> INTO THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it

wasn't

> busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad,

but

> he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get

> scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........

>

> I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and

> scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all

the

> best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from

getting

> hurt.

>

> I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not

able

> to give us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would

> appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it.

Also,

> we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to

> keep our son safe in the house and in the neighborhood.

>

> Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors

such

> as running away from the designated area? We are working

> on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run

the

> program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a

> little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away

> from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop

> when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill

> conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does

> anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to

> help your children learn????????????

>

> Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

>

>

[Guest guest]

[Guest guest]

Hi Jim, If you were trying to attach a photo of your fence, it did not come through. Please email it to my presonal address instead at egerpatt@.... Thanks! Jim McIlwee <mcilwee_jj@...> wrote: Note: forwarded message attached.Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2006 20:46:08 -0700 (PDT)From: Jim McIlwee <mcilwee_jj@...>Subject: Re: [ ] SAFETY ISSUES was: safety fenceauismne@... Hi , I currently have one person who is interested. If they decide they do not want it, you will be the next person asked. You are more than welcome to come see this fence. Its design has worked well, although I do have one one suggestion to make it just a bit safer. I would move the latch on the gate down 4-6 inches more from the top. The older kids that would be around showed the younger ones how to stand on a chair and reach over the fence to unlatch the gate. I completely understand and know the fear of seeing your child run into the street. Our

street is one of the busier ones in our development. People speed around it quite a bit. I have had several verbal exchanges with people speeding. Besides my autistic son, there are 30+ children under the age of 9 on our short stretch of street. I fear for all of them. If speeding is an issue, be sure to visit your local police in person and inform them your son is Autistic. Going in person will be more effective than a phone call. As far as a suggestion on keeping your son safe in his neighborhood and home, I have a couple. We had the CCBMRD send out someone to help us ensure our son could not get out of the house too easily. We have a deadbolt on our sliding glass door, similar to this: http://www.doityourself.com/invt/9246224 windows were always locked, an alarm was on the front door for an audible

alert if it is opened, and my father in law found a door guard like this: http://www.acehardware.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1295040 & cp= & origkw=door+guards & kw=door+guards & parentPage=search & searchId=5660532516 We put this on each entry door and this has been one of the best investments. The door guard was put near the top of the door so none of our children can reach it. These safety measures have helped greatly. The other way to keep your son safe is to inform neighbors of his needs. We are extremely fortunate to live in a very social neighborhood. Most of our neighbors know us well and have gotten to know our son. Our neighbors have learned a lot from us (and Liam) and have been very helpful and

understanding of his needs. I know not everyone can have good neighbors, but engaging your neighbors and at least informing them of your son's Autism, his tendencies, and how to communicate with him is important. Hopefully everyone at least has amicable neighbors. Regards, Jimegerpatt <egerpatt@...> wrote: Hi Jim, and othersMy name is and I found your information on the autismNE group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the fence you've got to another family that could use some extra safety. We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he IS a runner, and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running INTO

THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it wasn't busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad, but he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all the best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from getting hurt.I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not able to give us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it. Also, we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to keep our son safe in the house and in the neighborhood. Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors such as running away from the designated area? We

are working on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run the program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to help your children learn????????????Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

, thanks for your note and support. I will write you back later, well maybe tomorrow as Evan must be watched at all times.......... have a great day, "If you want to know.. Ask!" <mystique2574@...> wrote: ,I feel your pain and aggrivation on this. Kiernan is also one who is completely unaware of dangerous situations. We currently have a handicap sticker on our car because he started running in parking lots and there were one to many close calls for me to deal with it anymore.

Not like I can keep him at home 24/7. We live on Columbia Rd which is a main route. Many semi's and cars and although the speed limit is 25.. I only see cars doing that when traffic is high... He's gotten out twice now.. and I don't think I've ever felt my chest pound so hard as I did when getting him back into the house. Our biggest fear is we share a driveway with our neighbors and unfortunately they are a house with 5 teens and about 20 of their friends that have cars. We have talked to the mom and a few of the kids to pull in slowly and let them know about Kiernan, but they don't seem to care and still whip in and out of the driveway (part of the main reason that when I saw Jim's post I emailed him right away) Currently we don't play in the yard with the kids very often, and never when it's just me here with them. We stay in the house playing and working until my husband comes home from work or my sister comes

up so I can take the kids to the park. Luckily Olmsted Falls has some beautiful parks and Kiernan can't get enough of the wading pool that is walking distance from our house. For the most part he is good and comes when I call him... but he has his few "testing mom" moments that I just can't take the chance of one of them being at the wrong place and time. Just thought I'd share that you aren't alone.. part of the reason I love this group so much.. we all can relate to each other on certain things that are going on with our kids.. Here I am rambling again.. sorry!! J>> Hi Jim, and others> > My name is and I found your information on the autismNE > group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the > fence you've got to

another family that could use some extra safety. > > We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he IS a runner, > and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just > gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running > INTO THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it wasn't > busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad, but > he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get > scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........> > I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and > scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all the > best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from getting > hurt.> > I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not able > to give

us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would > appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it. Also, > we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to > keep our son safe in the house and in the neighborhood. > > Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors such > as running away from the designated area? We are working > on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run the > program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a > little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away > from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop > when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill > conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does > anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to > help your children

learn????????????> > Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,> >

Sneak preview the all-new .com. It's not radically different. Just radically better.

[Guest guest]

jIM,

Thanks for the message...and all the good information. I did get

your other msg as well... it was my mistake for assuming it was a

photo attachment - actually, I was able to pull up the entire

message from the list's home.

So thanks for the advice. I did manage to put on a door guard last

night on our front door, but the back door is a steel one - I could

not screw the lock in. I wonder if one of those locks that you sent

me a link about (the one for the screen door) would work for the

steel door. maybe one can glue the lock to it???? or maybe just find

a drillbit that would actually get through the metal in the door? I

am so not handy, but am trying! If anyone knows how to install these

things, i would appreciate their advice greatly. My hubby is even

less handy than I am so.....

Good idea about the neighbors, and the police. We will try to get a

sign up also, maybe a speedbump????? I hope they would do this for

us.

Thanks again, have a good day

> Hi Jim, and others

>

> My name is and I found your information on the autismNE

> group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the

> fence you've got to another family that could use some extra

safety.

>

> We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he IS a

runner,

> and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just

> gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running

> INTO THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it

wasn't

> busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad,

but

> he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get

> scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........

>

> I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and

> scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all

the

> best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from

getting

> hurt.

>

> I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not

able

> to give us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would

> appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it.

Also,

> we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to

> keep our son safe in the house and in the neighborhood.

>

> Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors

such

> as running away from the designated area? We are working

> on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run

the

> program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a

> little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away

> from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop

> when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill

> conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does

> anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to

> help your children learn????????????

>

> Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

>

>

[Guest guest]

our son noah left the yard once and after calling the police we found him 40 minutes later in our neighbor's home looking for disney tapes in an upstairs bedroom. this was one of the worst and longest 40 min. of my life!! i literally thought we would never see him again. i was completely terrified. the first thing the policeman asked me was what was he wearing and i could not remember! now i make a mental note each day of what he is wearing. we have also informed several of our closest neighbors about noah and have chimes on all the doors and first floor windows in case he tries to leave. another measure we have in place are cards with a current photo, fingerprints and vital info. we carry these in our wallets. when we go on fieldtrips, out of town or crowded places i put a sticker on the inside of his shirt with all important info written on it just in case. some families have their child (ren) wear a medical bracelet or anklet with info. engraved on it but this did not work for us. too many sensory issues.

you are truly not alone!!!

i hope these suggestions help.

take care,

shari

[Guest guest]

hi shari, thanks for sharing your story about noah....i think the cards and stickers inside the clothes are a really good idea. I need to come up with a comprehensive approach to this. we are at stage 1 - installing locks. bells/chimes are a great suggestion, also. i will start lookinginto those bracelets i heard about, ion kids, among others, but i suspect they will be an issue as well for us due to sensory.... but it's worth a try. i am going to talk to the police on monday see if they would do a sign/speedbump. i will order the stickers also! first thought i had - we need to move to a more rural area where there isn't as much traffic...but then, in the city where we live the neighbors will all recognize him and catch him sooner perhaps than if he just started wondering in the woods or something. at the milestones conference, leslie sinclair was telling us a story about this young person with ASD who

took off from home and they found him miles and miles away 5 days later while he was ritualistically walking/running the same route around a section of a river, going across a bridge, back down the river, going across the bridge again, and again, in circles, for 5 days. it was the ritual that saved his life....and kept him safe, in the same area so they could locate him. he was hydrated but very very hungry. anyhow, i thought this was a good story....shari, thanks again for your ideas. i am sorry that you had to go through those 40 minutes yourself with noah...and very glad he has been safe. my scare lated about 30 seconds only but it could have serioursly been very serious.... i do hope things will get better later (will they?) as the children mature.... andreasharigoldberg22@... wrote: our son noah left the yard once and after calling the police we found him 40 minutes later in our neighbor's home looking for disney tapes in an upstairs bedroom. this was one of the worst and longest 40 min. of my life!! i literally thought we would never see him again. i was completely terrified. the first thing the policeman asked me was what was he wearing and i could not remember! now i make a mental note each day of what he is wearing. we have also informed several of our closest neighbors about noah and have chimes on all the doors and

first floor windows in case he tries to leave. another measure we have in place are cards with a current photo, fingerprints and vital info. we carry these in our wallets. when we go on fieldtrips, out of town or crowded places i put a sticker on the inside of his shirt with all important info written on it just in case. some families have their child (ren) wear a medical bracelet or anklet with info. engraved on it but this did not work for us. too many sensory issues. you are truly not alone!!! i hope these suggestions help. take care, shari

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[Guest guest]

hi,

thanks for your note ...

things do get better

noah turned nine testerday and he has come so far!

keep in touch and let me know how things go.

take care,

shari

[Guest guest]

- When Bobby was younger, he was a runner too. Before we had

a diagnosis of autism, he ran into the street once. Scared the

living be-geebers out of me. I admit, I spanked him. The spanking

didn't keep him from running toward the street again, but we were

vigilant to stop him before he got to the street, which can be busy -

esp after the high school lets out. There were quite a few close

calls though. I spent a lot of time on the sidewalk trying to teach

him he was allowed on the sidewalk, but not on the tree lawn or

driveway apron. I grew to hate the trek from front door to car

because it never would end up well. If I held his hand, he would

scream and go limp. If I didn't, it was track time.

I really can't tell you when or why it happened, but Bobby stopped

running toward the street. He would make a left turn at the

sidewalk and run down that way, giving us more distance to catch him

(we are 3 houses away from a much less travelled sidestreet).

Then at 3, Bobby was diagnosed with autism. We tried a few other

interventions unsuccessfully. But when he was 4, my husband and I

tried out something we learned at a PBS conference. As we were

going out the door, we no longer said " no running. " Instead we

stated what he was allowed to do in a positive manner - what we

wanted him to do, like, " Now you get to my hand! " or " Now we get to

walk side by side down the street! " or " Walk to the car. " We also

had a visual schedule so he knew we were going to the car to drive

to certain destinations or we were going to walk to the store. In

other words, the visual schedule helped him understand why we were

opening the door and leaving the house. This helped tremendously.

Chris

>

> Hi Jim, and others

>

> My name is and I found your information on the autismNE

> group's discussion board. That is very nice of you to offer the

> fence you've got to another family that could use some extra

safety.

>

> We have a 4 year old ASD boy, very active and well, he IS a

runner,

> and despite the fact that we do have a fenced in backyard, he just

> gave us a heart attack today by getting out actually, and running

> INTO THE STREET. It's a busy street we live on. Thank God it

wasn't

> busy at 7 pm any more and nothing happened to him. It's so sad,

but

> he was just laughing as I run after him.... did not stop not get

> scared from my mama-bear scream 'stooooooooooooooooop'.........

>

> I am still in shock and traumatized...., petrified, horrified and

> scared to death that something could happen to Evan and with all

the

> best security measures I may not be able to prevent him from

getting

> hurt.

>

> I thought of your message immediately, and even if you are not

able

> to give us the fence because we are asking for it late, I would

> appreciate it if we could at least come and take a look at it.

Also,

> we would very much appreciate any suggestions and ideas on how to

> keep our son safe in the house and in the neighborhood.

>

> Listmates, how do you manage severe life-threatening behaviors

such

> as running away from the designated area? We are working

> on 'stopping' inside, with more success than when we try to run

the

> program outside. My son just simply tunes us out once he gets a

> little farther (like 2 feet) away.... we have to be one step away

> from him at all times to be able to catch him/prompt him to stop

> when we are teachingh im to stop. Have been working on this skill

> conscientiously for over a year now..... and not success. Does

> anyone else has a similar problem, and what have you guys done to

> help your children learn????????????

>

> Breathlessly and frightenedly yours,

>

>