Dorie

[Guest guest]

I skipped through my mail and saw my name so of course this letter got

my attention first.

Aisha, I went to your site and I am awe struck! You have so much going

on with you yet you are the most active upbeat person I have ever met.

I left there thinking that if you can do all you do, I can do more. I

all but gave up on my life.

There are people I call angels unaware who are put here to help others.

Clearly you are one of those people. Your illness has put you in a

position to touch so many lives, and do things you probably would not of

otherwise. Bless you lady, there is defiantly a star in the heavens with

your name on it.

I must of been guided to this group. Let me fill you in more.

Seven years ago my life was so different. I worked full time, was a

member of groups, did swim aerobics three times a week, always on the go

and had a big social life. I lived in a 2500sq ft home with my own pool

etc. I never had to worry about money. I had a husband that I devoted

my life to and loved dearly for 24 yrs of my life. (married 22)

When my illness started showing he took off telling the marriage

counselor that he couldn't deal with me being sick. He was my life so I

had to re-define my life at age 39.

At forty I moved back to my home town. I did not have a close family but

I felt they would be there if I needed them, wrong.

At 42 my father died and left me in charge of everything. That hurt and

angered my brother so all hell broke loose. It ended with us parting

and my being alone.

A man I knew stepped in and filled my life with what I wanted most,

family. I agreed to marry him and found myself in an abusive

relationship, and my health got to where I needed someone. And yes he

knows I can't kick him out and he uses that to his full advantage. I

could write a book about what he has put me through...and his family.

Users all.

So..today here I sit living in an older house trailer, sick, and in a

bad situation. Alone except for one friend. No insurance, and barely

enough to get by. Forty five and life is over. There are no more tears

just anger.

I realized today that I have not had a real meal in a week, I have only

taken sponge baths, etc. I had given up and no longer cared about

anything. I haven't even slept much.

Today I actually slept 7hrs. I made myself get in the shower, it felt

wonderful. I haven't eaten yet but I will. I feel almost euphoric with

new found hope.

I need to start taking care of myself and take control of my life again.

I am not a go getter like you but, if you can have so much life I know I

can have a better one too. You have greatly inspired me. Bless you. I

feel hopeful for the first time in years. I am so glad I found this

group, found you.

I could dance right now! HA I would sing but it would scare my animals

to badly.

You probably knew but I was just waiting to die. My doctor keeps telling

me I am and I need to do something about it. D.R.S. told me they are

afraid to look in the obits each day because they might see my name. All

I thought was, great..when. Today I want to live! Today I want to fight

for some of my life back. God help D.R.S. if I still feel this way when

they come here Thursday. They are going to get off their butts and let

me get on with things. They are my ticket out of this house and out of

this marriage. Pray for it please.

Whew, now I feel better. So much for I won't write such long letters any

more huh?

Oh, now that you let me know what ACE is, I think they did check that. I

remember the doctor that did that telling me that there was a marked

infection in my spinal fluid . He said not to worry about it because I

had had the flu six weeks earlier and the virus was probably still in

the spinal fluid. Was that more BS? I have really gotten to where I

don't trust doctors.

As for medical treatment now, I get minimal. I am what you call a fall

through the crack person. I make enough money to get by, barely but I

get by. I make to much money to get free or reduced cost medical care.

That means I don't see the doctor unless I don't have a choice, I don't

get any meds except have to to survive ones, and I don't do any test. My

GP understands and he tries to order meds that cost little. Sometimes he

can sometimes he can't so I do without.

Last night in my wtv-pals group a lady sent a link to how to get med

free. I will forward it to you in case you didn't know.

I guess I will quit rambling here. I am gonna go eat! Have a grand

and glorious day!!!!!!!!

"Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go." - Pueblo Prayer

Instant Messenger

[Guest guest]

Dear Dorie,

I really needed to hear that tonight. Thank you. I don't do that much at all! LOL... Really I don't. And as for active and upbeat! LMAO..... Can tell you haven't lived with me when I have PMS! active? Well I get to the loo on my own now LOL...

More importantly I am honoured that you feel that I have helped you to want to live your life again. My main aim is always to look after and out for people. It really helps me to know that I have made such a difference in your life, and that from this your quality of life is going to improve! You go GURL! Give 'em hell!!

Your raised inflammatory in your spinal fluid? Was that ever checked again? I doubt it would be the flu if you had it 6 weeks ago. Spinal Fluids react differently to blood tests. It would be well worth your while to find out if it was a raised ACE in your spinal fluids, and to get it retested if it was. If it was ACE that was raised in your spinal fluids then you may have neuro sarcoid like Dusty and I do. There are treatments for it, and some people have known to recover completely depending upon which form they have. So check it out ok. There are medicines you could take that may help you.

Thank you for calling me an angel, my husband calls me that too *smile*

I am glad that you are washing, eating and sleeping again. Don't over do it, since you have not been well you don't want to do too much and get a flare of your illnesses. But I am truly glad that you have hope restored within. Makes all that I do worthwhile.

Keep believing ~ miracles to happen!

Love and peace to you always,

Aisha.

*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Believe that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.Believe that you may be that light for someone else.- Kobi Yamada*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* Aisha ElderwynICQ 55461955aisha@...http://www.elderwyn.com/aishaMailing list: AishaElderwyn-subscribeegroupsBeing Sick:

[Guest guest]

I still hold to how active you are. You aren't vegetating like I have

been doing, you are out there doing what you can to assist others. I for

one am so glad you are.

I will ask my doctor about the spinal tap and have him dig out my old

records and see.

Is Dusty your husband? My step sons name is and that's what I

call him. He makes all worthwhile.

To the person whose doctor thought she was poisoning her child.. How

asinine . They have really gone over the edge with that stuff.

I had an ash blow in my eye once and burn the cornea. The doctor was all

over me and my ex husband. They thought he had held me down and burned

me, they would not except my telling them the truth. We were so mad.

Then the ones who need help don't get it a lot of times. Stand your

ground.

"Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go." - Pueblo Prayer

Instant Messenger

[Guest guest]

Hi Dorie,

Sweetie ~ you need to send those links you have to egroups not to the address you have at the moment as you are sending them to the list owner and moderators not the group. So if they are for the group, send them to this address. *smiles*

"I still hold to how active you are. You aren't vegetating like I havebeen doing"

Hahhaha.... I have had my share of vegetating..... and still do most of the time! I usually think I could be doing more then I am....don't know how, but that's the way I think.

LOL.... Dusty is another girl on this list who has Neurosarcoidosis (which is what I have) my hubby is on the list too, his name is Gwydion.

When you get your spinal tap results, let me know what they tested and what the markers are. I'm not bad at looking up path tests these days, and my immunologist is also a pathologist, so anything I don't get, I'll ask him!!

Take care sweetie, and glad to see you jumping in and writing away!

Love Aisha.

*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Believe that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.Believe that you may be that light for someone else.- Kobi Yamada*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* Aisha ElderwynICQ 55461955aisha@...http://www.elderwyn.com/aishaMailing list: AishaElderwyn-subscribeegroupsBeing Sick:

[Guest guest]

OOPS!!!! I c & p the first letter address I got from the group, Never

realized it was wrong so if I didn't hit reply to send, it went to the

wrong place. I corrected it. Thanks for letting me know.

"Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go." - Pueblo Prayer

Life ~ What a Beautiful Choice!Stephany

Adopted: May

21,2000Stop Abortion ~ Not A

Beating Heart!

Instant Messenger

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the nice welcome back Neyrs

"Dories

Find it Page" Dories

F-keys DORIES

F-KEY LINK HEAVEN Web tv links Craft

Links

Recipes,Recipes,Recipes

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Life ~ What a Beautiful Choice!Stephany

Adopted: May

21,2000Stop Abortion ~ Not A

Beating Heart!

Send me an E-Mail here faster

[Guest guest]

Well It would seem I did send that letter to this group too. OMG how

many got it? Somebody give me a shovel so I can go dig that hole to hide

in now. LOL

Why am I dieing? Well I don't rightly know. They started that bull when

I went to the sleep lab and was told that have sleep apnea. My GP said

he expects me to be on o2 by next year, " if I last that long " . I only

sleep 4 hrs a day and from the test results, I stop breathing in my

sleep and/or partially wake up every 7 min so I never really rest. He

says my body is that of a much older woman. Gee thanks Doc!

I don't know much of anything, maybe they do but since I can't go have

the test to confirm they won't tell. I figure most has to do with my

breathing...or lack of the ability to.

I can't do anything about my situation so I try to fill my mind and not

worry. Oh, what I could of used a little help with is the pain, I have

no meds. And when my asthma is giving me that much trouble the rescue

inhaler just doesn't cut it, I need more. I do get mad at not being

able to get the care I need. The meds they want me on for the seep

problems alone would cost me about $300. forget anythig else. I have

several meds that I can't fill.

My only solution? Divorce my husband, give up my property settlement

that I live on now, then SSI would give me $400 a month to live on and I

could get on medicaid. Some solution!

I will get through. To stubborn and angry not to prove them wrong. LOL

take care dear ones,

Dorie

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[Guest guest]

doriedew@... wrote:

Well It would seem I did send that letter to this group

too. OMG how

many got it? Somebody give me a shovel so I can go dig that hole to hide

in now. LOL

Why am I dying? Well I don't rightly know. They started that bull when

I went to the sleep lab and was told that have sleep apnea. My GP

said

he expects me to be on o2 by next year, "if I last that long". I

only

sleep 4 hrs a day and from the test results, I stop breathing in my

sleep and/or partially wake up every 7 min so I never really rest. He

says my body is that of a much older woman. Gee thanks Doc!

Have they tried putting you on C-PAP? It

is pressured oxygen, that pushes oxygen into your lungs even when you forget

to breathe.... it is 99% of the time used for Sleep Apnea!

Being on oxygen isn't that bad, I have it, because of

my allergies! It is a pain sometimes, but it is usually also a comfort

because I have something that I can "turn to" when my allergies are just

being rude.... like now!

I will go to sleep with my oxygen on, because of how many

times my allergies have been set off tonight..... if that works, it sure

beats going to the Emergency Dept. ANY DAY!!!

I hope you are doing better, ignore doctors they are dumb!

Love Always,

Anne

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[Guest guest]

Thanks, C-PAP was mentioned but....no way to get it. I am not looking

for pity when I say stuff like that. It is just the truth. Thanks any

way. All is in Gods hands one way or the other right? If I have learned

anything in life it is that things have a way of working out . My time

will come when I will get answers and the help I need, or it won't. It

is not in my control. I truly belive everything happens for a reason and

we are where we are in life for a purpose. I try not to question why,

all I get from that is an upset stomach and a headache. :-) I just plug

along and see what life has in store.

My life is much different than it was a few years ago but, like Aisha,

look for the silver lineings.I get mad, I feel helpless, Hell I feel

destitute! But, I would not be meeting so many wonderful people on the

web if I had my old life back. I would not be learning so much. In a

strange way...I am more at peace than I was.

Thanks for careing, I don't know where I am headed but I do trust I will

be ok.

((((HUGS)))))

Dorie

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[Guest guest]

Ya know Dorie.... I keep your email to play this song lol... *smiles*

" OMG how many got it? Somebody give me a shovel so I can go dig that hole to hide in now. LOL"

Hey you were having a vent - share how you feel its better for you. You need us, that's why we are here for you. And if others find out just how shit things are right now then perhaps they too will be more supportive. Please keep writing when you need to *hug*

"Why am I dieing? Well I don't rightly know. They started that bull whenI went to the sleep lab and was told that have sleep apnea. My GP saidhe expects me to be on o2 by next year, "if I last that long". I onlysleep 4 hrs a day and from the test results, I stop breathing in mysleep and/or partially wake up every 7 min so I never really rest. Hesays my body is that of a much older woman. Gee thanks Doc!"

Well that's very supportive isn't it. Gonna encourage you to huh? Shit people are stupid. Is there no way you can get an o2 machine? Perhaps we could all chip in and help you get one? Sounds like your life would be vastly improved by having the oxygen machine. If you find out how much it would cost tell us and perhaps we can help?? And don't get stubborn on me... I can be as stubborn as you anyday!

"Oh, this song is bluegrass/folk believe it or not. It said the name isdown home. You tickle me, Dories song??? I can imagine it would becrazy. LOL Nice thought though, you are so sweet."

Bluegrass.... LMAO... I don't think so!! Folk I can imagine.... Folk and Celtic music are quite similar. I have previously written a song that is very similar. Always hated its name so perhaps I'll change that to Dories song... I think that's kinda nice. I shall record it as a Real Audio or midi file and post it for you. (although its not finished yet) Today's mission... lol...

Hang in there and let me know how much that o2 thing is gonna cost - your life is worth it and I'm sure there are people here that would help you with a few dollars here or there so you can breathe. We are family remember. Would you do the same for me if I needed it? Yes I know you would - so don't try to argue with me - just tell me the cost and we will see what we can do.

Love ya babe,

Aisha.

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[Guest guest]

Oh Aisha, you are such a nice person. I know there is a star in heaven

with your name on it.

I am fine, really, just have my bad days. My breathing is almost back to

my normal. I am not doing bad, no offence to anyone here but I would

probably seem in good health compared to what everyone else is having to

go through. I did not mean to worry you. I am fine really. Even my pain

level in better.

I would not let you buy the machine. It cost a small fortune. And

another point, it was mentioned but not ever ordered for me. It is the

meds orders I have that I haven't filled.

My husband got another job and in three months he would be able to get

insurance, hopefully this time it will be affordable and good coverage.

On his pay, with child support etc. he usually can not afford it. Things

will work out, I truly belive that. They always do somehow.

You are stubborn? Well dear one you met your match with this red headed

Irish woman! LOL

Let's look at some facts....Who am I ? How do you contact me? LOL My

phone is listed in my mothers maiden name.....a trick I use to get my

service " unlisted " free. I use two last names. My first husbands still

for any money matters, drivers licence, ss card etc, too much to change

it all. Everything else is the new husbands name. LOL Hummmm.....LMBO I

appear to not be easy to find. LOL And even if you had the two last

names guess what.....as unbelievable as it seems there are other women

in this little area by the same last names, one is Dorie, the other is

Doris. This is fun. LOL TAG YOU ARE IT! LOL

I love Bluegrass, but I am very picky about the type. Krauss is

my favorite. She does do some that is as beautiful as this tune. Thank

you for honoring me, you don't have to take your song, just to know you

thought of doing that is such a honor. Thank you again.

Take good care of yourself dear one.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

Dorie

PS/ I sent that darn letter to others I thought it only went to you and

the one group. My best friend let me know that she got it too. I bet I

sent it to the entire list in my address book....just shoot me now! LOL

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[Guest guest]

Hey Dorie *grins*

"Oh Aisha, you are such a nice person."

That's just a rumour I started... its all done with mirrors lol

" I know there is a star in heaven with your name on it."

LOL.. G and I had a star named for us via the international star registry on the day we married. So we are already shining up there above everyone! I love it! We are in the phoenix constellation and our star is called "Gwydion & Aisha Elderwyn" (how original! *laughs*)

"You are stubborn?"

Persistent might have been a better choice of words.

"Well dear one you met your match with this red headed Irish woman! LOL"

LMAO... I have Irish and ish in me so heritage wise I'm in the same calibre! LOL

"Let's look at some facts....Who am I ? How do you contact me?"

LOL... I have many vast and varied contacts! People in high places and also PI's etc etc. If I needed you to be found I could do it... trust me *grin*

"This is fun. LOL TAG YOU ARE IT! LOL"

Well now - I may just have to contact the hired help and have you found to prove it *chuckles*

Take care dear one!

Love Aisha.

*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Believe that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.Believe that you may be that light for someone else.- Kobi Yamada*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* Aisha ElderwynICQ 55461955aisha@...http://www.elderwyn.com/aishaMailing list: aishaelderwyn Being Sick:

[Guest guest]

ROTFLMBO!! Nice try Aisha

((((hugs)))))

Dorie

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People are like stained-glass windows.They sparkle and shine

when the sun is out,but when the darkness sets in,

their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Kübler-Ross

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[Guest guest]

TLS wrote:

> Thanks for that website on the index thingy. If I

> don't use it that much, my mother sure will. She is

> always looking into those medical books and going on

> the net. She has close to ten medical books.

> love,

> leigh

Okay Miss Leigh-

We get a message from you, and it doesn't contain anything about those babies of

yours. That we are all wondering so much about! Names, how they are doing, how

cute they are.

And then there is you; How are you? How is the pain? How does your incision

look? Were you awake, or asleep for the delivery?

How is doing through all of this? Ticked off any more NICU nurses?

Have I asked enough questions yet?

I hope you are doing good! Can't wait to hear about them all!!!

Love Always,

Anne

[Guest guest]

Dear Dorie,

It wasn't HELEN who complained about the backgrounds. It was Anne. I

think!!LOL. I am sure though it was not Helen.Huggs,bev.

[Guest guest]

"It wasn't HELEN who complained about the backgrounds. It was Anne. Ithink!!LOL. I am sure though it was not Helen.Huggs,bev."

Actually darlings, it was Carolyn who is having trouble with colours.

Love Aisha

[Guest guest]

hehe, I think its called Oh Shenanadoah ( cant remember how to spell the darn thing) I actually had to sing it in High school. Its a lovley song.

melinda

dorie

Hi Dorie

I have to ask a question what is the music that is playing with this e-mail coz my hubby knows it but can't think what it is and it is driving him potty trying to work it out?? Soo tell me tell me, then I can put him out of his misery LOL

Hope you are doing good hon

Take care

Lots of love

Nerys

~*~ May the day treat you kindly~*~

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The Being Sick CommunityVisual problems with colors?Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. Members Lounge:-Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free things.http://www.elderwyn.com/members Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-messages/Chat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet.chat.htmlSharing our resources:-Add a website URL you have found useful. Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator should you require assistance with anything technical or if you are upset by another. The email address for the moderators is <-owneregroups> Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroupsTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Dorie!!! ((((hugs)))))

Your Dr took you off all your medications? All of them at once? Just stopped you suddenly? Would it not have been obvious that whatever was new was causing the problem? Did they not ween you off them? Did they not put you back on them? Excuse me here but what they fuck are they doing? Are they totally mad?

LMAO @ The Blowfish... its how I feel!

Hang in there hon. I sure dont get why they are doing this to you, but we are here for you so please just vent any time!

Love ya babe!

¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:- ¸.·´ .·´¨¨)) ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- Aisha -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´

Don't let the odds scare you from even trying. - Schultz______________

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[Guest guest]

Thanks for answering me Dorie. I will be glad to go back to the Dr with my knee

this week. The pain in my knee is bad sometimes. I have never heard that about

the kneecap before. I will let you know what he says.

Dena

[Guest guest]

I hope it works out ok for you, Dena....Please keep in touch.

Dorie Madsen

Dorie

Thanks for answering me Dorie. I will be glad to go back to the Dr

with my knee this week. The pain in my knee is bad sometimes. I have

never heard that about the kneecap before. I will let you know what he

says.

Dena