Kim

[Guest guest]

Susie,

> Your reply to Kim saddened me. Your

> stern reply was totally unwarranted. Kim is going through a

> rough time as most people do post-op. It is a normal

> reaction the body has to shock. And major surgery IS a shock

> to the system.

> This is a " support " group. And you have done the exact

> opposite! I believe an apology is in order. Maybe you are

> the type who can " bite the bullet " . Not everyone is the same

> as you. We are human beings, individuals, you cannot nor

> should you impose your harsh opinions on someone else. She

> was asking for support not condemnation. Please think long

> and hard before you post something that will cause another

> member pain. They are in enough pain already...

>

>

>      

> __________________________________________________________________

> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

>

> http://www.flickr.com/gift/

>

__________________________________________________________________

Get the name you've always wanted @ymail.com or @rocketmail.com! Go to

http://ca.promos./jacko/

[Guest guest]

Sometimes we all need a wake-up call or a little kick in the pants to get

back on track. Kim is turning this fine group into a soap opera.

Where are all the interesting & helpful comments we used to share ? New

members will surely think recovery is hopeless if all they have to read are

Kim's hourly reports. And if we hit delete, there won't be much else to read

since old memners are mum lately.

Let's all talk about progress again, ok ? Susie

>

>

> Susie,

>

> > Your reply to Kim saddened me. Your

> > stern reply was totally unwarranted. Kim is going through a

> > rough time as most people do post-op. It is a normal

> > reaction the body has to shock. And major surgery IS a shock

> > to the system.

> > This is a " support " group. And you have done the exact

> > opposite! I believe an apology is in order. Maybe you are

> > the type who can " bite the bullet " . Not everyone is the same

> > as you. We are human beings, individuals, you cannot nor

> > should you impose your harsh opinions on someone else. She

> > was asking for support not condemnation. Please think long

> > and hard before you post something that will cause another

> > member pain. They are in enough pain already...

> >

> >

> >      

> > __________________________________________________________________

> > Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

> >

> > http://www.flickr.com/gift/

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________________________

> Get the name you've always wanted @ymail.com or @rocketmail.com! Go to

http://ca.promos./jacko/

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/22/2009 7:22:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

zinsdad@... writes:

You may believe in one type of support and think that is the only way. Kim

has been posting for quite a while now several times a day and each post

is filled with her feeling sorry for herself. Many people, including myself,

have tried to offer what you might consider positive support and still Kim

has this " woe is me " attitude. Sometimes a person has to be told to stop

feeling sorry for themselves and start to do something positive. Offerring

that is as much support as anything else. Just because you do not agree with

it is really too bad.

Susie, and everyone else has the right, even the obligation as members of

this group, to post their thoughts, even if the do sound harsh to you!!

Susie did not, as you say, offer condemnation, just letting her know that

things could always be worse and maybe it's time to start thinking of all

that's good and work off that for a while. But you think that's wrong and we

should just all join in on the pity party. Don't you think that maybe Susie

went through some of the same type of difficulties that Kim is going

through? Maybe she has no one to help her with the dishes or drive her places

and deals with life and moves on. Most of us get depressed after surgery like

this, but just because you don't agree with what a person has to offer as

an opinion doesn't make you right and I am as saddened by your response to

Susie as you are hers.

I'd have to say I agree here, and just note that again, some of us have no

one living with us to help out in any way, and frankly, I doubt the

non-supportive husband suddenly became non-supportive post op. People here can

help talk about what worked for them post op, but marriage counseling is a

bit beyond our pay level.

**************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy

steps!

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=JulystepsfooterNO115)

[Guest guest]

You may believe in one type of support and think that is the only way. Kim has

been posting for quite a while now several times a day and each post is filled

with her feeling sorry for herself. Many people, including myself, have tried to

offer what you might consider positive support and still Kim has this " woe is

me " attitude. Sometimes a person has to be told to stop feeling sorry for

themselves and start to do something positive. Offerring that is as much support

as anything else. Just because you do not agree with it is really too bad.

Susie, and everyone else has the right, even the obligation as members of this

group, to post their thoughts, even if the do sound harsh to you!!

Susie did not, as you say, offer condemnation, just letting her know that things

could always be worse and maybe it's time to start thinking of all that's good

and work off that for a while. But you think that's wrong and we should just all

join in on the pity party. Don't you think that maybe Susie went through some of

the same type of difficulties that Kim is going through? Maybe she has no one to

help her with the dishes or drive her places and deals with life and moves on.

Most of us get depressed after surgery like this, but just because you don't

agree with what a person has to offer as an opinion doesn't make you right and I

am as saddened by your response to Susie as you are hers.

Jeff

 

________________________________

From: a smith <arsottawa@...>

Joint Replacement Surgery

Sent: Saturday, August 22, 2009 3:16:06 PM

Subject: Fw: Kim

Susie,

> Your reply to Kim saddened me. Your

> stern reply was totally unwarranted. Kim is going through a

> rough time as most people do post-op. It is a normal

> reaction the body has to shock. And major surgery IS a shock

> to the system.

> This is a " support " group. And you have done the exact

> opposite! I believe an apology is in order. Maybe you are

> the type who can " bite the bullet " . Not everyone is the same

> as you. We are human beings, individuals, you cannot nor

> should you impose your harsh opinions on someone else. She

> was asking for support not condemnation. Please think long

> and hard before you post something that will cause another

> member pain. They are in enough pain already...

>

>

>      

> __________________________________________________________________

> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

>

> http://www.flickr.com/gift/

>

      __________________________________________________________________

Get the name you've always wanted @ymail.com or @rocketmail.com! Go to

http://ca.promos./jacko/

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

>

> You may believe in one type of support and think that is the only way. Kim has

been posting for quite a while now several times a day and each post is filled

with her feeling sorry for herself. Many people, including myself, have tried to

offer what you might consider positive support and still Kim has this " woe is

me " attitude. Sometimes a person has to be told to stop feeling sorry for

themselves and start to do something positive. Offerring that is as much support

as anything else. Just because you do not agree with it is really too bad.

> Susie, and everyone else has the right, even the obligation as members of this

group, to post their thoughts, even if the do sound harsh to you!!

> Susie did not, as you say, offer condemnation, just letting her know that

things could always be worse and maybe it's time to start thinking of all that's

good and work off that for a while. But you think that's wrong and we should

just all join in on the pity party. Don't you think that maybe Susie went

through some of the same type of difficulties that Kim is going through? Maybe

she has no one to help her with the dishes or drive her places and deals with

life and moves on. Most of us get depressed after surgery like this, but just

because you don't agree with what a person has to offer as an opinion doesn't

make you right and I am as saddened by your response to Susie as you are hers.

> Jeff

>

Thank you, Jeff. After 3 days in the hospital in a morphine stupor, I went

home alone & took Excedrin from then on so I'd have my wits about me. Meals were

simple, walker so handy & I'll spare everyone my complications. I drove 14 days

post-op, figuring my new knee wouldn't hurt as much as the old one, clutching a

5 speed truck.

We have to believe in ourselves, use common sense, & trust the healing powers of

our bodies. Best in health, Susie

[Guest guest]

Kim, if info was given to you that showed 4 wks able to do most things, isn't

that a " norm " of sorts ? I was told nothing of the kind & had no expectations,

just worked my bunns off from day one because I'd lived with bone on bone for 21

years, always being told I was too young for surgery. I told my kids let's look

at this as a rough camping trip & won't we be glad when it's over. They relaxed

& now revel in my progress. You can do it. Susie

>

> Susie's recovery is what I expected. The info given to me appeared to show 4

weeks out able to do most things. That has not been the for me. Others have

responded to me personally withe similar recoveries to mine. I am happy to

hear that I am not alone. Each person is different. To say Susie's is more the

norm is not good.

I think it is a hope and goal but not the norm.

> Kim

> Minnesota

>

[Guest guest]

> > You may believe in one type of support and think that is the only

> way. Kim has been posting for quite a while now several times a day

> and each post is filled with her feeling sorry for herself. Many

> people, including myself, have tried to offer what you might

> consider positive support and still Kim has this " woe is me "

> attitude. Sometimes a person has to be told to stop feeling sorry

> for themselves and start to do something positive. Offerring that is

> as much support as anything else. Just because you do not agree with

> it is really too bad.

There is an old myth about the sun and the wind arguing. The wind said to

the sun " I'm stronger than you are " and the sun disagreed, feeling IT was

stronger. So they decided to have a contest. " You see that person walking

on the road, down there? " asked the sun, " well whichever of us can make him

take off his coat, will be the strongest! " The wind agreed that was a good

contest so they began.

The wind went first. He blew harshly and roughly upon the walker but the

man only pulled his coat around him more tightly. The wind blew even harder

but the harder the wind blew, the more tightly the man pulled his coat

around him. Finally the wind gave up in frustration. " This man is

impossible!, " said the wind, " there is no way he's going to take off his

coat! "

The sun simply smiled and said " OK, let me try! "

And the sun shone, warmly and gently upon the man. Growing warm, he

loosened his coat. Gently and patiently, the sun continued to shine

brightly and pretty soon, the man got very warm and took off his coat.

You see, it wasn't the harsh, rough treatment of the wind which accomplished

getting the man to take off his coat - it was the patient gentle warmth of

the sun.

Judging someone else's pain is not a good idea - everyone's body reacts

differently, everyone is of different age and body type, different surgeons

and many other factors so we really cannot KNOW someone else's pain level or

whether they are being appropriate or in appropriate in their complaints.

But even if we COULD know that and wanted to teach them something, if we

take the above story in consideration, it was the gentle patient warmth of

the sun and NOT the harsh attacks of the wind which accomplished the task!

(the story is from an ancient fable, by the way so it's been around for a

while).

Does anyone know when a harsh word did anything but hurt feelings? And if

someone is hurting to begin with, I cannot see where a harsh word would help

at all. On the contrary.

People should realize that on every listserve, even a very informative one

like this one, not every message is meaningful to us and thus, on every

computer is a wonderful key, called a " delete key " . If someone is hurting

and even if there is a thread about this, and if it's something which you

cannot relate to or is annoying to you, it's best to just use the delete key

and move on. That way, you will avoid hurting anyone's feelings (especially

when they are hurting already) and there might be someone else on the list

who IS helped by or interested in, the message(s) you felt to be a waste of

time or whatever.

One more thing - I walk with a cane due to arthritis, and a back injury.

And August is a hard month for me because my arthritis is flaring up and so

is the back. So this morning at church I was moving a bit more slowly than

usual. At least three people asked me gently " Sue, are you in pain, you seem

to be moving more slowly? " and I said that I was and they said consolatory

things and you know, it felt really good. I think when we are in pain, we

all feel a bit sorry for ourselves and that's just a human reaction - it's

not bad - it's just normal but I know when I AM in such a situation, and

someone says something harsh, it just hurts more but a kind gentle word goes

a long way to help to heal. the healing touch so to speak.. JMO.

This world is such a harsh place - and smiles and kindness cost us so little

and feel so good to others - can we really avoid this golden chance to make

this world a better place?

Just a thought,

Sue,

moderator

[Guest guest]

I hear you . I am glad that you are working with oncology massage. That

takes a calling and some very special people to do it. Our reflexology

instructor in massage school worked with a lot of cancer patients and she told

us how rewarding it was for her and how much the patients got out of the massage

and the reflexology treatments.

I work with Reiki and some energy healing still but am not able to be out of the

house consistently enough to work outside the home. I have a long term medical

background so that has led me to do medical writing. I have been able to do that

for the past 3 years now.

Kim

Kim

Hi Kim,

Thanks for those wishes. I agree with you. It comes from the heart and soul.

You can be tired and your next client come into the room and it's like WOW the

energy is back. Funny part about it. I used to be a golf nut before I injured my

back. Then I went into massage, from my first course it blew me away. I

considered myself to be so lucky to have been able to help people. But it hurts

at the moment when I have my clients ring aand ask if I'm back at work yet.

But I'm not giving up hope yet. I'm going to fight all the way!!

I'm actually studying oncology massage now. Which is not anywhere near as

taxing on the body as what the deep tissue was. I also did Bowen Massage as

well. That's pretty amazing. Bowen still blows me away, mainly because of a few

tweeks here and there and it works, I still think NO WAY ...... lol.

I hope you find another passion to take it's place. I know it's hard, but if

you have the passion it'll appear.

Warm Cheers

[Guest guest]

Hi

Welcome to group. Never give up hope. You never know what's around the next

corner! I was at the point that I was ready to give it all up. Then after 4

years I finally found a dr that was able to help me. No, I'm not the person I

was, I'm not able to do everything I want to do, but I'm here. I'm able to

function. The key is to think positive, instead of dwelling on the negative.

I think it's wonderful that you're studying another type of massage therapy.

Hopefully you will be able to go back to what you love. Good luck.

Sue C

________________________________

From: velria <radiant.salubrity@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Thursday, August 27, 2009 7:47:14 PM

Subject: Kim

 

Hi Kim,

Thanks for those wishes. I agree with you. It comes from the heart and soul. You

can be tired and your next client come into the room and it's like WOW the

energy is back. Funny part about it. I used to be a golf nut before I injured my

back. Then I went into massage, from my first course it blew me away. I

considered myself to be so lucky to have been able to help people. But it hurts

at the moment when I have my clients ring aand ask if I'm back at work yet.

But I'm not giving up hope yet. I'm going to fight all the way!!

I'm actually studying oncology massage now. Which is not anywhere near as taxing

on the body as what the deep tissue was. I also did Bowen Massage as well.

That's pretty amazing. Bowen still blows me away, mainly because of a few tweeks

here and there and it works, I still think NO WAY ...... lol.

I hope you find another passion to take it's place. I know it's hard, but if you

have the passion it'll appear.

Warm Cheers

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

How are you doing now that you got the last thing done? Are you able to walk

real good yet?

 I had my surgery May 27.i have ROM at now 110.I hear some say we have a window

of time that we can get it back to normal .My PT says hard work.OS does not seem

to be concerned.

Dot

This world is such a harsh place - and smiles and kindness cost us so little

and feel so good to others - can we really avoid this golden chance to make

this world a better place?