[Norton AntiSpam] Re: being dependent on someone

September 10, 2011

Wow...I can hardly believe that woman thought that way! Glad everything worked

out for you so well. My family members were the first to offer me help. That

is what family is supposed to do. Apparently that woman didn't have a clue.

(of course if you no longer have family or are estranged from them it would be a

different story I guess)

Pat in Pennsylvania

Bilateral TKR August 2010

being dependent on someone

>

> I read a post where someone was not wanting to ask for help. That was the

hardest part about surgery. I just don't like having to ask people for help.

I've always been the one DOING the helping. But, I did ask my daughters and they

were both good about helping. Still, it isn't easy. Also, I try not to complain

but when you are home all day by yourself and hurting.....it is difficult not to

complain. I am learning that few people really care how you feel and NO ONE

wants to here about your complaints. So, I've tried to keep the conversation off

myself. I'm sitting there grimacing, telling them, " oh, yeah, I feel pretty good

today. " All the while, hoping that lighting doesn't strike me. I've enjoyed

reading these notes. It helps me put my pain and situation in perspective.

>

September 10, 2011

Well when your family sons are stll single and or living at home fine

theynwll be a wonderful support team for you and your husband but today for

married children (maybe like that OT female might have been) there is NOTHING

more important than their being able to be the soccer mom or soccer dad the

kid rasing of today's social world l (i should call it yodays antisocial world

) require them to be.

Maybe you will be lucky and the ocially antisocial socker craze era will end by

the time of your sons child raising years .

L

> >

> > I agree with comments about not wanting to ask for help. I, also was the

one always helping and didn't really know what it was like to accept it. But by

getting my mind in the right place before my surgery and by finally feeling I

was in control, I changed my way of thinking about letting people help me also.

I finally realized that it was my time to accept help from all the people I had

helped in the past. So I actually relaxed for a change, let the nurses and

hospital staff assist me and then did the same when I got home. I had a couple

of family members who offered to help at home and I was actually able to let

them. I then realized that it was making them feel helpful and that I actually

deserved to be the receiver of their attention for a change. From that

realization on, I relaxed and concentrated on the healing. It worked for me.

> >

> > Pat in Pennsylvania

> > Bilateral TKR 8/16/10

> >

> > being dependent on someone

> >

> > I read a post where someone was not wanting to ask for help. That was the