Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

[Guest guest]

>

<<snip>>

May I ask for a little more, before I leave the group?

>

I want to clarify what I wrote above -- I've really enjoyed this

group, and I'd stay on forever, but I'm not an LP, nor is anyone in my

family; so, I'm slightly out-of-scope for the group.

I'm here to get advice on how best to welcome a new person in my group

of friends. Once she and I have hung out a few times, I'll just ask

her directly. I'm coming to you all because, well, I'd never met an

LP before and I goofed (squatted to talk) when I first met her.

Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: miss_undertoad

In all seriousness, we're all in our 30s, so I assume she's entirely

capable of navigating a harbor cruise on her own and asking for any

help she might need.

>>>>>> Yawn, that's very generous of you.

But, what are the most common mistakes well-meaning APs make when

first getting to know an LP?

>>>>>>> Exactly the same common mistakes ANY human being makes when first

>>>>>>> meeting another human being.

In otherwords, the BIGGEST mistake any 'well-meaning' AP can make is

forgetting that the LP is equally a human being and as such, commands the

same respect and equal consideration as one would the rest of the group.

The BEST thing you can do is, forget she is LP!

Enjoy the trip:-)

Fred

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> [tounge-in-cheek ON] So, when I see , I plan to pat her on the

> head, treat her like a child, ask her to pray with me, talk about

> nothing but her size, tell her she's an inspiration, refer to her as

> a " midget, " then ask her about her bathroom habits and sex life.

> [tounge-in-cheek OFF]

You forgot to make sure you point and shout loudly " wow, you're

short! " Also, try to pick her up and carry her when she approaches

stairs or a curb, we always like that. ;-p

> In all seriousness, we're all in our 30s, so I assume she's entirely

> capable of navigating a harbor cruise on her own and asking for any

> help she might need.

Yes, right on. She will ask for help when she needs it. I am always

amused and irritated, for example, when I go to the store, and while

leaving and loading my scooter in my car, people will stop and ask

" can I help you with that? " The first time they ask is okay -- they

are trying to be helpful and polite. I tell them " no thanks, I can

manage. " But it's when they insist on helping that I get irritated.

I've sometimes couldn't help myself and said " you know, I have no darn

idea how this scooter got in my car -- I think the hand of God must

have scooped it up and put it there. But, since I don't see God at

the moment, sure, lift away!!! " Or I could be more rude and say:

" No, this is an expensive piece of equipment and it must be carefully

loaded. I don't want some moron who can't take 'no thanks' for answer

picking it up and damaging it. "

>

> But, what are the most common mistakes well-meaning APs make when

> first getting to know an LP?

The fact that you ask shows you are light years ahead of a lot of APs.

Every LP is different (hence the problem in answering this

question). But for myself, don't make a big deal out of the fact I'm

a dwarf. I know I'm different. I just want to be one of the gang,

treated like everyone else. I'm sometimes an a-hole, and sometimes a

saint, but never completely both. One on one, casually just say " hey,

if you need help with anything, let me know. " And then leave it at

that. If you see them fall or struggle with something, you can say

" need a hand? " But don't make a big deal of it.

If you have kids, and they are making comments or curious, don't act

embarrassed or angry, or make a big scene. Just say to them, " yep,

she's short. Sometimes people are born that way. But, she's an adult

and I expect you to treat her with respect. "

At the airport the other day, a little kid pointed at me and shouted

" Dad, look at the short guy! " And his father said " Yeah? So what?

It's rude to point. " And then the kid said " but why is he short? "

And the father said " Because he's supposed to be. Why do you keep

asking silly questions? " I tried not to laugh.

> Thanks, all, and have a good weekend,

>

Cheers,

Bill

--

" Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an

indomitable will. "

- Gandhi

" A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength "

- Proverbs 24:5

[Guest guest]

When I started my current job, one of my coworkers practically followed me

around, asking me if I needed help, needed something, could she reach something,

etc., etc. Recently she asked me why I didn't punch her. I said I knew she'd

get over it soon.

Occasionally I've had to say to someone, " Enough already! " but usually I just

say " No, thank you, " and people pretty quickly get the message that if I need

help, I'll ASK. And, as Bill pointed out, " No, thank you " means " NO, thank

you. "

Thanks for asking - you sound like a person who is sensitive to the feelings

of others, something rare in this world.

Alyce :-)

[Guest guest]

If you are polite and follow the basic rules of the group, then there is no

reason you can’t stay if you so chose to. Honesty, sensitivity to the

concerns of LP’s, and an adherence to the rules of the list are primary.

Simple interaction with the people of this group is no different than

interaction with any other group of people, just get used to being a

minority! :-)

Whims Ivey, tri-moderator

_____

From: dwarfism [mailto:dwarfism ] On Behalf

Of miss_undertoad

Sent: Friday, August 25, 2006 2:41 PM

dwarfism

Subject: Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

>

<<snip>>

May I ask for a little more, before I leave the group?

>

I want to clarify what I wrote above -- I've really enjoyed this

group, and I'd stay on forever, but I'm not an LP, nor is anyone in my

family; so, I'm slightly out-of-scope for the group.

I'm here to get advice on how best to welcome a new person in my group

of friends. Once she and I have hung out a few times, I'll just ask

her directly. I'm coming to you all because, well, I'd never met an

LP before and I goofed (squatted to talk) when I first met her.

Thanks a bunch!

_____

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[Guest guest]

On 8/25/06, Whims <justwhims@...> wrote:

> just get used to being a minority! :-)

>

> Whims Ivey, tri-moderator

>

Yeah. Whims is a biggie. We point at her and laugh and laugh, and

ask how the weather is up there. Most of us try to get her to sit to

talk, but Fred likes her to bend over so he can take a peek. ;-)

Bill, ex-moderator, soon to be ex-communicated.

--

" Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an

indomitable will. "

- Gandhi

" A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength "

- Proverbs 24:5

[Guest guest]

It came to me in bed, as all brilliant thoughts do!

But if, for the sake of arguement, we accept that the average age of LP's on

here is, what, 35? Then for those 35 years or more, or less, each of us has

endured and coped with our dwarfism, no problem.

So, how exactly does an average size person, coming across us for the first

time, think we have coped all these years without their individual help?

For an average size person to even ask us, surely assumes, by that person,

.....that we have JUST ....at that split moment in time of their observation,

suddenly turned into dwarfs?

Therefore, does the Average Size person see themselves as a knight in

shining armour, coming to our suddenly afflicted demise?

Right, I'm going back to bed:-))))))

Fred, in bed!

[Guest guest]

Now !!!!! Behave yourself.

You know darn nicely there is more to women than their mammary extremities!

Same as women know darn nicely there is more to men than the size of their

'lunch box'

Amen:-))))

Fred, purer than the driven snow:-)

Re: Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

On 8/25/06, Whims <justwhims@...> wrote:

> just get used to being a minority! :-)

>

> Whims Ivey, tri-moderator

>

Yeah. Whims is a biggie. We point at her and laugh and laugh, and

ask how the weather is up there. Most of us try to get her to sit to

talk, but Fred likes her to bend over so he can take a peek. ;-)

Bill, ex-moderator, soon to be ex-communicated.

[Guest guest]

There is a whole lot more to me than IBT’s :-) I’m 5’4, a short AP, and

listening to you 2, I know the biggest thing about me is my PATIENCE!

Whims Ivey

_____

From: dwarfism [mailto:dwarfism ] On Behalf

Of Fred Short

Sent: Saturday, August 26, 2006 6:34 AM

dwarfism

Subject: Re: Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

Now !!!!! Behave yourself.

You know darn nicely there is more to women than their mammary extremities!

Same as women know darn nicely there is more to men than the size of their

'lunch box'

Amen:-))))

Fred, purer than the driven snow:-)

Re: Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

On 8/25/06, Whims <HYPERLINK

" mailto:justwhims%40buckeye-express.com " justwhimsbuckeye--express>

wrote:

> just get used to being a minority! :-)

>

> Whims Ivey, tri-moderator

>

Yeah. Whims is a biggie. We point at her and laugh and laugh, and

ask how the weather is up there. Most of us try to get her to sit to

talk, but Fred likes her to bend over so he can take a peek. ;-)

Bill, ex-moderator, soon to be ex-communicated.

_____

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[Guest guest]

Fred, I think that the AP who offers their assistance to an LP is one that

would do the same to *any* person who appears to be having difficulty. The

same knight in shining armour could have been a boy scout, helped old people

and been taught common courtesy, which I see as a rarity in the new

generation [being one the old people].

I don’t know the average age on here, but I see a lot more posting in their

40’s and 50’s than the “kids” in their 20’s and 30’s.

Whims Ivey

_____

From: dwarfism [mailto:dwarfism ] On Behalf

Of Fred Short

Sent: Saturday, August 26, 2006 5:17 AM

Dwarfism

Subject: Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

It came to me in bed, as all brilliant thoughts do!

But if, for the sake of arguement, we accept that the average age of LP's on

here is, what, 35? Then for those 35 years or more, or less, each of us has

endured and coped with our dwarfism, no problem.

So, how exactly does an average size person, coming across us for the first

time, think we have coped all these years without their individual help?

For an average size person to even ask us, surely assumes, by that person,

.....that we have JUST ....at that split moment in time of their observation,

suddenly turned into dwarfs?

Therefore, does the Average Size person see themselves as a knight in

shining armour, coming to our suddenly afflicted demise?

Right, I'm going back to bed:-))))))

Fred, in bed!

_____

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[Guest guest]

Yes, I totally agree with you Whims - in general.

BUT, we are sorta ignoring a very important factor in this equation. i.e. the

shear bloody cussed independence which seems, to a large extent, to be the

unique domain of 'disabled' people and dwarfs.

It is not really the AP at fault, but, if it IS a fault, it is the fault of the

disabled person, who, out of shear necessity has learned this (if you like)

'blinkered' independence.

So, out of hand, we are most often seen to reply to such offers of help with " no

thank you " which just trips off the tongue.

It's a very complicated subject really.

One the one hand, out of shear necessity AND pride, we have had to learn as near

total independence as possible.

On the other, yer, it really IS nice to be offered help, as you say, too much of

a rarity these days,

On the other, sadly, we see it as a reflection/ an attack, if you like, on that

very independence we nurture so much.

Incidently, you forgot the old farts on here. I'm sixty two. AND, I have to

admit, age brings with it the necessity to chuck the 'pride' I have clung to so

long. Age MAKES one accept, out of shear necessity, help. BUT, that pride

takes one hell of a lot of swallowing to allow the acceptance of the much needed

help.

Cheers

Fred

RE: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

Fred, I think that the AP who offers their assistance to an LP is one that

would do the same to *any* person who appears to be having difficulty. The same

knight in shining armour could have been a boy scout, helped old people and been

taught common courtesy, which I see as a rarity in the new generation [being one

the old people].

I don't know the average age on here, but I see a lot more posting in their

40's and 50's than the " kids " in their 20's and 30's.

Whims Ivey

[Guest guest]

" Bill, ex-moderator, soon to be ex-communicated. "

Oh heck, no! You should only be so lucky to be kicked off of this

list, Mr. Bill. We keep you here just for the enjoyment of abusing

you. Who would we pick on if we ex-communicated you?

Rose

[Guest guest]

, I am IMPRESSED!!!

After reading your usual wonderfully amusing post, I just have this one

realization---that I have GOT to be hanging around either the WRONG kind of

people, or the poor theatre kind of people! Your books?!! A car?!! Even a

MANSION?!!

SHEESH. IF I could ONLY find someone to buy me my

books, I would be happy forever!!! Or even if they bought

me hay for my horses!!! LOL

Whatever. I loved your " tongue in cheek " moment!

Obviously, since you were typing it from your office on

a Saturday, no doubt YOU are very busy preparing for the

onset of a new school term! So hang in there!

Hope all is well!

Take care,

Adelaide

In a message dated 8/26/06 3:15:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

petite_isla@... writes:

My tongue-in-cheek moment:

You don't offer to pay for all of my meals and buy me groceries

You don't offer to pay my bar tab

You don't follow me around on my bi-weekly trips to B & N and pay for

all of the books I've been buying lately

You don't offer to buy me a nice new expensive car

You don't offer to pay my mortgage or by me a mansion, with a full

media room, of course

What's up with that?? I would be appreciative, not enough to let you

pat me on the head, but enough to share.

End of moment, tongue goes back to it's everyday resting place.

(and before I hear his 2 cents - mind back out of the gutter Bill)

PS. Can I come on this cruise?? I could sure use the rest, especially

since I'm writing this from my desk at work!!

[Guest guest]

> But, what are the most common mistakes well-meaning APs make when

first getting to know an LP?<

,

My tongue-in-cheek moment:

You don't offer to pay for all of my meals and buy me groceries

You don't offer to pay my bar tab

You don't follow me around on my bi-weekly trips to B & N and pay for

all of the books I've been buying lately

You don't offer to buy me a nice new expensive car

You don't offer to pay my mortgage or by me a mansion, with a full

media room, of course

What's up with that?? I would be appreciative, not enough to let you

pat me on the head, but enough to share.

End of moment, tongue goes back to it's everyday resting place.

(and before I hear his 2 cents - mind back out of the gutter Bill)

PS. Can I come on this cruise?? I could sure use the rest, especially

since I'm writing this from my desk at work!!

[Guest guest]

> I'm here to get advice on how best to welcome a new person in my group

> of friends. Once she and I have hung out a few times, I'll just ask

> her directly. I'm coming to you all because, well, I'd never met an

> LP before and I goofed (squatted to talk) when I first met her.

,

As you've read, it isn't a 'goof' for some of us. I'm fine with people

bending, sitting, squatting, kneeling...whatever floats their boat and

they can do. I'd rather they do manage to get up from whatever

position they get into.

When people don't bend it becomes a problem if I my neck gets tired of

looking directly up and I end up not looking at them when I speak. And

when we're chatting outside and the sun is behind them it's a real

hmmm pain, some notice and adjust, others are either oblivious or too

into the conversation. Personally I prefer to see facial expressions

when conversing, be able to see their eyes.

It's nice that you're making this much effort to understand, and on

the other hand also knowing that your friend may have her own

preferences. But, if we ever meet, go for what makes you comfortable.

[Guest guest]

> So, how exactly does an average size person, coming across us for

the first time, think we have coped all these years without their

individual help?<

I don't think that they are thinking of our entire life span at the

moment, I think they are honestly thinking of making that moment

easier for us. Shouldn't we be just as gracious and accept that in

general people are just being nice? Even if misguided at times.

Wouldn't it be the same if an AP dropped something and they offered?

Obviously this AP person has dropped things before and managed. The

funny part is we'd critize them also if they walked past us trying to

load an elephant in our cars, watching as the thing falls back and

crushes us. We'd have to accept that they thought we load an elephant

in our cars every day of our lives, or why would we be doing it on

that Wednesday.

> For an average size person to even ask us, surely assumes, by that

person, ....that we have JUST ....at that split moment in time of

their observation, suddenly turned into dwarfs?<

I would say that is the thought process when someone asks questions

such as " have you always had this? " or " have you always been this

way? " (although the latter does open it for the response of

" bi***y? " ). And even at those moments I have to remember that

innocently some people may never have given dwarfism a second thought

due to lack of exposure. Some may not know that it's genetic and

dwarfs from day one. Some may think we do achieve somewhat average

size growth and start to shrink, explaining some unproportionate girth

for height.

Some honestly think we all pop out of other dwarfs, and why shouldn't

they? I know that I was so clueless on so much about dwarfism until

very recently in my life and hell I am one. It just wasn't something I

knew a lot or been exposed to until I felt a need to.

> Therefore, does the Average Size person see themselves as a knight

in shining armour, coming to our suddenly afflicted demise?<

In all fairness, for some it's just their nature to try to be helpful.

I prefer they do ask and take them up on their offers as needed. Why

should I be climbing a grocery shelf for an item that I know someone

else can just stretch out and reach? I don't find it a dent in my

pride to save myself some struggle or avoid a situation that can be

risky for me. Hell, how many times have I actually said " would you

please grab that trashy People magazine for me? " at B & N? My pride

suffers more of a dent because I do read the dang magazine (over

coffee while at the store cause I won't pay for it!!! the addiction

doesn't go far enough to shell out money), so I do make sure they see

I am carrying a volume of Prousts readings also.

With my scooter I usually say something to the effect that the lift

does all of the work and go back to my business. My recent incident

with one of the campus cops made me realize that it was a male macho

thing and let him help to a small degree. I suppose it made him feel

better and it did cut a few minutes out of the routine for me.

Aren't there moments when we do find ourselves in a situation where we

do need help? Some folks' pride gets to be so monumental that even in

times of need they can't ask and would rather risk their lives proving

that they can do it. Hell if you'll see me changing a tire because 'I

can' when someone else can do it faster and with a fracture of a

struggle. I don't need to wear my 'dwarf pride' badge every day, I

have to alternate it with my 'latina pride' and 'female pride' as well

as a few others.

Some APs do carry it too far, even when you've said NO. But, then

again some of my aunts don't get it when I constantly say I just ate

before going to their house and keep offering food items.

> Right, I'm going back to bed:-))))))<

And pulled those covers high over yer head, huh?

Always a pleasure Fred, or at least interesting.

[Guest guest]

> We keep you here just for the enjoyment of abusing you. Who would

we pick on if we ex-communicated you?<

Fred.

Who pays off all of the moderators so Bill can share the pain

[Guest guest]

Here's a rant from a clueless but well-meaning AP:

I get disconcerted by all the " us " and " they " references in these messages.

I have an achondroplast son, and another who is autistic. I must admit after

reading some of these posts I want to ask about the nature of a true disability.

Which is what I guess I just did. If I wasn't exposed daily to the two worlds I

wouldn't otherwise be familiar with, I wouldn't have the guts to say to some

with functioning brains and two functioning arms and two functoning legs: get

over it.

That doesn't mean I don't get angry at the stares we get in public, or get angry

at the way my achon son shies away from certain social situations. Or how, even

when another dwarf happens to pass by, he acts like nothing special is going on

(maybe that's good?). And I always think, after yet another " midget " joke on

the radio or TV, I just might lose it. I get all that. But a sense of

martyrdom will get you nowhere but victimized.

Re: Mistakes of well-meaning but clueless APs?

> So, how exactly does an average size person, coming across us for

the first time, think we have coped all these years without their

individual help?<

I don't think that they are thinking of our entire life span at the

moment, I think they are honestly thinking of making that moment

easier for us. Shouldn't we be just as gracious and accept that in

general people are just being nice? Even if misguided at times.

Wouldn't it be the same if an AP dropped something and they offered?

Obviously this AP person has dropped things before and managed. The

funny part is we'd critize them also if they walked past us trying to

load an elephant in our cars, watching as the thing falls back and

crushes us. We'd have to accept that they thought we load an elephant

in our cars every day of our lives, or why would we be doing it on

that Wednesday.

> For an average size person to even ask us, surely assumes, by that

person, ....that we have JUST ....at that split moment in time of

their observation, suddenly turned into dwarfs?<

I would say that is the thought process when someone asks questions

such as " have you always had this? " or " have you always been this

way? " (although the latter does open it for the response of

" bi***y? " ). And even at those moments I have to remember that

innocently some people may never have given dwarfism a second thought

due to lack of exposure. Some may not know that it's genetic and

dwarfs from day one. Some may think we do achieve somewhat average

size growth and start to shrink, explaining some unproportionate girth

for height.

Some honestly think we all pop out of other dwarfs, and why shouldn't

they? I know that I was so clueless on so much about dwarfism until

very recently in my life and hell I am one. It just wasn't something I

knew a lot or been exposed to until I felt a need to.

> Therefore, does the Average Size person see themselves as a knight

in shining armour, coming to our suddenly afflicted demise?<

In all fairness, for some it's just their nature to try to be helpful.

I prefer they do ask and take them up on their offers as needed. Why

should I be climbing a grocery shelf for an item that I know someone

else can just stretch out and reach? I don't find it a dent in my

pride to save myself some struggle or avoid a situation that can be

risky for me. Hell, how many times have I actually said " would you

please grab that trashy People magazine for me? " at B & N? My pride

suffers more of a dent because I do read the dang magazine (over

coffee while at the store cause I won't pay for it!!! the addiction

doesn't go far enough to shell out money), so I do make sure they see

I am carrying a volume of Prousts readings also.

With my scooter I usually say something to the effect that the lift

does all of the work and go back to my business. My recent incident

with one of the campus cops made me realize that it was a male macho

thing and let him help to a small degree. I suppose it made him feel

better and it did cut a few minutes out of the routine for me.

Aren't there moments when we do find ourselves in a situation where we

do need help? Some folks' pride gets to be so monumental that even in

times of need they can't ask and would rather risk their lives proving

that they can do it. Hell if you'll see me changing a tire because 'I

can' when someone else can do it faster and with a fracture of a

struggle. I don't need to wear my 'dwarf pride' badge every day, I

have to alternate it with my 'latina pride' and 'female pride' as well

as a few others.

Some APs do carry it too far, even when you've said NO. But, then

again some of my aunts don't get it when I constantly say I just ate

before going to their house and keep offering food items.

> Right, I'm going back to bed:-))))))<

And pulled those covers high over yer head, huh?

Always a pleasure Fred, or at least interesting.

[Guest guest]

Hi, Fred.

I can't speak for all APs, but for myself ONLY:

I show kindness to my friends by doing them favors. I

get them a drink if I'm going to the bar. I bring

them a coffee if I'm going to Starbucks. I don't

offer them chocolate if they're on a diet.

I want to show " , " my new LP friend, the same

level of kindness I show all my other friends.

What I want to avoid is giving the impression that I'm

doing her favors because she happens to be of shorter

stature than I happen to be.

and I share a love of tea -- and, it turns out, a

guilty pleasure in certain '80s pop groups. I'll

limit my kindnesses to those that are drinkable or

audible, if that would be best. What do you (all)

think?

Many thanks,

--- Fred Short <mail@...> wrote:

> It came to me in bed, as all brilliant thoughts do!

>

> But if, for the sake of arguement, we accept that

> the average age of LP's on

> here is, what, 35? Then for those 35 years or more,

> or less, each of us has

> endured and coped with our dwarfism, no problem.

>

> So, how exactly does an average size person, coming

> across us for the first

> time, think we have coped all these years without

> their individual help?

>

> For an average size person to even ask us, surely

> assumes, by that person,

> ....that we have JUST ....at that split moment in

> time of their observation,

> suddenly turned into dwarfs?

>

> Therefore, does the Average Size person see

> themselves as a knight in

> shining armour, coming to our suddenly afflicted

> demise?

>

> Right, I'm going back to bed:-))))))

>

> Fred, in bed!

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- wrote:

> Here's a rant from a clueless but well-meaning AP:

>

> I get disconcerted by all the " us " and " they " references in these

messages.

Hey --

At the risk of appearing to dismiss your feelings about the " us "

& " them " stuff as far as I'm concerned you are part of " us. " Your

membership in the dwarfism community isn't based upon inseam length;

it's based on life. Yes, I do understand that at times some posts can

come off as anti-AP and I hate that. How can we sit around & yell for

respect if we can't give it to others?

Just my thoughts. I'm glad you posted about this as we all need a

reminder how much being made to feel like an outsider or a lesser

being can hurt.

Rose

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/26/06 8:35:59 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

RMBJustice@... writes:

Just my thoughts. I'm glad you posted about this as we all need a

reminder how much being made to feel like an outsider or a lesser

being can hurt.

Rose

First, this is absolutely NOT directed at you at all, Rose---but what is

even more sad, is being an LP who hasn't had opportunities to be around other

LP's, then coming into this LP group and other LP groups for the

first time ever, not knowing ANYONE, only to be treated as exactly what you

stated---an " outsider and lesser being, " the very same kinds of ways we are

ALL treated " out there. " Had I not been the persevering kind of little fart I

am, I too, would have folded up and disappeared in the beginning, but I

didn't. And though it has been quite difficult along the way, I am very happy

to

say I have made many dear and lasting friendships I will cherish forever.

And hopefully, I am even making a bright difference in other lives through the

LP group I own.

Yet what about all the other LP's who give up, too overwhelmed by the

sheer lack of acceptance from their own peers? I have come across many LP's

who either folded up in hurt, or were too overwhelmed by the lack of

acceptance to persevere, and all they ever sought was the friendship of other

LP's.

For many THIS is our only contact with other LP's---ever.

AHEM. If you all would, please allow me to step away

from the little " soapbox " I was either just bravely standing on, or insanely

standing on, BEFORE you begin hurling the tomatoes at me...

Heh heh heh.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I think everyone feels a different way so there is not

one right way or wrong way when it comes to LP's.

I will say however that I hate hate hate when tall

people bend over or squat to talk to me. It's akward

looking and even freaks me out lol. I have no problem

standing in a crowd looking up to talk to people, it

makes me just one of the crowd. The only issue I do

have is that I can't stand for a long time so then I

do usually look for a place to sit which then they sit

too.

As far as tall people offering to help, I am all for

it if I need help. The biggest mistake a person can

make is not asking for help when they need it, in all

aspects of life. I have no issue asking a 19 year old

stock boy to get me a box of " female stuff " . I need

them and I am not going to climb shelves so if he is

the only one there then he's the victim lol.

It is wonderful for tall people to hold doors open and

to help me when it looks like I am struggling, I

haven't really had a situation of over helping, I

usually just smile or laugh and say thanks I'm fine or

I got it and that's the end of it.

What did bug me the other day is when some lady

walking passed me said " Bless you " . There was no

sneezing on my part. As some of you may know I believe

in God 100% so the religious statement didn't bother

me, what bothered me is that she put me not on an

equal playing field and thought I was in need of being

blessed. Everyone deserves a blessing, not just us

" poor " disabled people. I am pretty sure as well she

didn't walk by every person saying that.

Growing up I was taught to treat others equally no

matter what they looked like or what their issue was.

No one is perfect and some disabilities you see on the

outside and some you can't see at all. I do not feel

sorry for or admire blind people or deaf people

because you know what, they are just going about their

lives like anyone else. Who am I to think that their

life is a struggle or poor them? No way, I don't like

people assuming my life is a struggle so no way would

I assume that for others. Most find a way to have a

happy successful life like anyone else, it just maybe

done in a different way, that doesn't mean they need

an extra blessing, or to be admired for their so

called struggle, same with us. We are all just living

our lives.

So to recap of my posts lol; I hate squatting or

bending over to talk, can't stand all the points and

stares from ANYone and don't appreciate being admired

(I haven't done anything great than just live my

life).

All I want which I hope both my posts point out is to

be treated as an equal on an equal playing field, no

better no worse. If you wouldn't help other people

then don't help me, if you don't go around blessing

other people then don't do it to me. If you don't

admire other random people then don't admire me. I am

allowed, like everyone else, to have a bad day. I am

allowed to have something bother me and I am allowed

not to smile and be Disney Store perky everytime I

walk out of my house. It's not a right that I have to

educate every single person I encounter when I am in a

hurry and don't have time for it or feel like it (I do

most of the time answer people's questions though).

I can not be dwarf super woman having everything roll

of her back, no one can truly be that way and that is

an expectation that shouldn't be put on anyone.

-

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