Re: Survery: School letters about dwarfism

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, Vita Gagne wrote:

> How would you (or did you) feel if your parents sent a letter to the

> parents of your classmates about you and your dwarfism?

To be fair, I would need more info to answer the question, i.e. what grade

are we talking about, what does the letter say, what is it's purpose, is

it going to go to all the parents of the class or just specific ones, etc.

But my gut instinct is to say " bad idea " , and you would have a tough time

convincing me otherwise. In fact, I shudder at the idea! Parents of LPs

should not " run interference " for their kids any more than the average

parent. Especially if that interference is consciously focussed on their

dwarfism -- all it's going to do is make other people consciously focus on

their dwarfism even more, which is not what you want. That isn't to say

their dwarfism should be totally ignored -- just don't make a big deal

about it.

My feeling is that it's ok to volunteer the information on a one-on-one

situation if asked, or if a specific classmate's parents seem to have an

issue that needs to be discussed. But parents shouldn't get into the

business of broadcasting to other people how to relate to their dwarf

child. It sounds like fear-based thinking, and it's probably going to

backfire. They should instead concentrate on teaching their child how to

handle their relationship issues themselves. Are their relationship issues

going to be more painful than the average child's? Most likely. But don't

sugarcoat it or try to prevent it. Just deal with it.

-Dave

[Guest guest]

I would totally have to disagree with Dave. I have heard from a

couple of parents who have done that and it was positive. I think

dwarfism is like the purple elephant in the room. Everyone sees it

but are too afraid to ask questions or it leads to kids being made

fun of because of other kids ignorance on the matter. I wish my

parents would have sent home letters to the other parents and/or

came to school to talk about it. Most of the time kids who bully,

their parents have no idea. To me this opens dialog for all parties

involved and lets the other kids and parents know that its okay to

ask questions. Again usually without the LP bringing it up alot of

people are afraid to ask questions.

I also feel that the problem for LP's is ignorance, well here is a

solution. Educate the kids, let them know that its not appropriate

to pick up little Timmy, to let them know what little Timmy can do.

To give a general background about dwarfism. I think this should

start around kindergarten or 1st grade all the way up until 5th or

6th grade, unless all of the kids have grown up together. I don't

think it would add more attention to their dwarfism but actually

take attention away. Everyone sees the purple elephant so lets talk

about the purple elephant, now everyone could careless about the

purple elephant because the " mystery " is taken away. To me that

isn't sugar coating anything, it is educating and dealing with it.

-

> To be fair, I would need more info to answer the question, i.e.

what grade

> are we talking about, what does the letter say, what is it's

purpose, is

> it going to go to all the parents of the class or just specific

ones, etc.

>

> But my gut instinct is to say " bad idea " , and you would have a

tough time

> convincing me otherwise. In fact, I shudder at the idea! Parents

of LPs

> should not " run interference " for their kids any more than the

average

> parent. Especially if that interference is consciously focussed on

their

> dwarfism -- all it's going to do is make other people consciously

focus on

> their dwarfism even more, which is not what you want. That isn't

to say

> their dwarfism should be totally ignored -- just don't make a big

deal

> about it.

>

> My feeling is that it's ok to volunteer the information on a one-

on-one

> situation if asked, or if a specific classmate's parents seem to

have an

> issue that needs to be discussed. But parents shouldn't get into

the

> business of broadcasting to other people how to relate to their

dwarf

> child. It sounds like fear-based thinking, and it's probably going

to

> backfire. They should instead concentrate on teaching their child

how to

> handle their relationship issues themselves. Are their

relationship issues

> going to be more painful than the average child's? Most likely.

But don't

> sugarcoat it or try to prevent it. Just deal with it.

>

> -Dave

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/26/03 3:44:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

irish_p_butter@... writes:

> Everyone sees it

> but are too afraid to ask questions or it leads to kids being made

>

I think a letter to school would be quite helpful. I recall that before I

started each grade my parents had a talk with the teacher about me and what

accommodation I needed such as a stool in bathroom, etc.

There are still people out there even in the school system that still don't

know about little people and what better way to help them learn. It not only

helps people like us out but them out as well.

When one doesn't know something in life they assume. With me I would rather

not assume things in life but know what they are...

Helen

[Guest guest]

From our own experence, we had great success using a letter. We used a copy

of a letter that was originally composed by Katy Graham the mom of Sam Bremen.

I know that letter was available at one time in the LPA parents newsletter. We

would send the letter to the staff at the schools, each time our son Danny

changed schools.(from elementary to middle school and high school). Once the ice

is broken, it makes it so much easier to address any questions staff/students

might have. When Danny reached the 5th grade, he gave his class a lesson on

what dwarfism was, because so many classmates had questions. As we pack him up

to leave for college next week, I'm thinking that putting him on that bus for

kindergarten wasn't so hard after all. Much success to all the parents and our

wonderful children

Pat Kowalski

mom of Danny Kowalski

Northeastern University

Class of 2008

[Guest guest]

I think this is one tiem I will ahve to side with Fred for the most part...I

think we often dotn give the kids enough credit for being smart enough. I

knwo at our hosue other kids have simply asked, say Nik, WHY are your legs liek

that? He takes charge and answers becasue he was born that way...(A little

kindergaertner asked hoim thsi week why he had hats on his legs...the

prosthetics). If they ask or if they tease its up to the teacher to take charge

but

workignin concert witht he parent/child.Most kids ask in innocent curiosity and

thats a good tiem toeducate...Dont give them mroe than they ask for or can

possibly understand. Half the adults dont know diddley either.

apryl

[Guest guest]

From: " Bradford " <dbradfor@...>

" Vita Gagne " <rgagne@...>

> But my gut instinct is to say " bad idea " , and you would have a tough time

> convincing me otherwise. In fact, I shudder at the idea! Parents of LPs

> should not " run interference " for their kids any more than the average

> parent. Especially if that interference is consciously focussed on their

> dwarfism -- all it's going to do is make other people consciously focus on

> their dwarfism even more, which is not what you want. That isn't to say

> their dwarfism should be totally ignored -- just don't make a big deal

> about it.

Totally agree! If MY parents had EVER pulled a stunt like that on me, I

would have DIED!

Fine, as Dave says, on a one to one basis, especially when a small statured

child begins any new school, but to promulgate it as if the child was some

creature from outa space, is nothing short than psychological rape.

We spend our lives being under the public spotlight, without anyone

deliberately turning it our way.

Besides, " What is good for the goose, is good for the gander. " Meaning, do

the black kids parents also send a letter explaining WHY he is black? Do

ANY of the ethnic parents send similar letters? Does the child wearing

spectacles also experience this publicity? Does the very tall child, the

very fat child, the not so good looking child? etc, etc etc!

No! Of course not! So why the bloody hell should WE aquiece to such an

indignity???????? We have spent our LIVES and HISTORY doing just that!!!!!

Is the wheel NEVER going to be invented? Are we never ever going to be

accepted/absorbed into society? Are we always going to be the focus of

public attention either unwittingly or (as it appears here), by public

invitation?

AMEN!!!!! Pardon me while I climb down of this six inch high pedestal

:-))))

Fred with a bee in his bonnet:-))))

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, irish_p_butter wrote:

> I would totally have to disagree with Dave.

Totally? Ouch, that hurts.

-Dave

[Guest guest]

The fact of the matter is that we are not black kids, or fat kids,

or not so good looking kids. We are people or kids that most of the

population has not seen in person or just what is on tv. People are

going to have questions. Kids in school are going to go home to

their parents and say " mommy we have a midget in our class " so how

are the parents going to respond??? How can they answer their kids

questions about dwarfism when they are unfirmiliar about it???

Psychological rape my rear! Kids WILL be consciously thinking about

it so again talk about the purple elephant! Take away the mystery,

answer the questions, and then it is over!! I don't know if you

have been around little kids but usually once you answer their

questions the subject is over and they pick something else to talk

about. Fred said it would make the kid seem like a creature from

outer space, well when the other kids are NOT educated about

dwarfism thats kinda how they see it! To me it shows a 50's

mentality, lets not talk about it! Well see how well that worked

back then???? Also I don't think that is " pulling a stunt at all "

it is educating people and I hope the parents would get the child

involved asking them what the child wants in the letter or if the

child can do a presentation.

Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share

that attitude. So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

Again I wish my parents would have done it!!!

-

>

>

> Totally agree! If MY parents had EVER pulled a stunt like that on

me, I

> would have DIED!

> Fine, as Dave says, on a one to one basis, especially when a small

statured

> child begins any new school, but to promulgate it as if the child

was some

> creature from outa space, is nothing short than psychological rape.

>

> We spend our lives being under the public spotlight, without anyone

> deliberately turning it our way.

>

> Besides, " What is good for the goose, is good for the gander. "

Meaning, do

> the black kids parents also send a letter explaining WHY he is

black? Do

> ANY of the ethnic parents send similar letters? Does the child

wearing

> spectacles also experience this publicity? Does the very tall

child, the

> very fat child, the not so good looking child? etc, etc etc!

>

> No! Of course not! So why the bloody hell should WE aquiece to

such an

> indignity???????? We have spent our LIVES and HISTORY doing just

that!!!!!

> Is the wheel NEVER going to be invented? Are we never ever going

to be

> accepted/absorbed into society? Are we always going to be the

focus of

> public attention either unwittingly or (as it appears here), by

public

> invitation?

>

> AMEN!!!!! Pardon me while I climb down of this six inch high

pedestal

> :-))))

>

> Fred with a bee in his bonnet:-))))

[Guest guest]

You know how it is on here~ when you're wrong, you're REALLY wrong!

Patty

Re: Re: Survery: School letters about dwarfism

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, irish_p_butter wrote:

> I would totally have to disagree with Dave.

Totally? Ouch, that hurts.

-Dave

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, irish_p_butter wrote:

> Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

> ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share

> that attitude. So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

> Again I wish my parents would have done it!!!

I still do not know (i.e. SOMEBODY ENLIGHTEN ME) what those letters say, I

can only assume. So before you tell me I'm wrong, tell me what the letters

say.

But let's get the issue straight here -- the topic is specifically about

parents of a child with dwarfism sending some unspecified letter to other

parents. There is a subtle but important difference between that and the

general education of kids (e.g. the LPA Outreach Program).

Yes, , sending a letter may help -- in the *short term*. However,

In the long run I think it has great potential to do a huge disservice to

the psychological well-being of the person with dwarfism. It focusses only

on the child's current emotional well-being and not on emotional growth.

There is a lot to being a well-adjusted person (dwarf or not) that can

only be learned from first-hand experience. If you attempt to control the

environment for your kid such that he/she is shielded from ignorance while

growing up, you are taking away opportunities for those first-hand

experiences. Let's not kid ourselves -- some of those first-hand

experiences are going to be emotional pain related to their dwarfism.

My question to such parents is: WHO are you really trying to protect from

emotional pain? Your child, or yourself? Your child is going to have to

learn to deal with the emotional pain caused by ignorance sooner or later.

They don't have a choice in the matter. Forcing them to deal with it later

is going to be much harder on both of you.

It's the whole issue of " give them a fish, or teach them to fish? " Sending

a letter to other parents smacks of justing giving your child a fish. I

see it as a selfish, short-sighted attempt by parents to avoid the

emotional pain that having a child with dwarfism is going to bring.

-Dave

Diastrophic Dysplasia, Age 40

[Guest guest]

I think this is a great idea as it allows parents to focus their energy on

their child's development into a wise and well-armed adult.

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, Barbara Spiegel wrote:

> I think that once the Community Outreach Project takes off (probably next

> year) it will be great for LPA reps to go to schools where it is known to

> have lp students in attendance first and then filter out into other schools.

>

> Barbara

> Re: Re: Survery: School letters about dwarfism

>

>

> > On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, irish_p_butter wrote:

> >

> > > Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

> > > ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share

> > > that attitude. So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

> > > Again I wish my parents would have done it!!!

> >

> > I still do not know (i.e. SOMEBODY ENLIGHTEN ME) what those letters say, I

> > can only assume. So before you tell me I'm wrong, tell me what the letters

> > say.

> >

> > But let's get the issue straight here -- the topic is specifically about

> > parents of a child with dwarfism sending some unspecified letter to other

> > parents. There is a subtle but important difference between that and the

> > general education of kids (e.g. the LPA Outreach Program).

> >

> > Yes, , sending a letter may help -- in the *short term*. However,

> > In the long run I think it has great potential to do a huge disservice to

> > the psychological well-being of the person with dwarfism. It focusses only

> > on the child's current emotional well-being and not on emotional growth.

> >

> > There is a lot to being a well-adjusted person (dwarf or not) that can

> > only be learned from first-hand experience. If you attempt to control the

> > environment for your kid such that he/she is shielded from ignorance while

> > growing up, you are taking away opportunities for those first-hand

> > experiences. Let's not kid ourselves -- some of those first-hand

> > experiences are going to be emotional pain related to their dwarfism.

> >

> > My question to such parents is: WHO are you really trying to protect from

> > emotional pain? Your child, or yourself? Your child is going to have to

> > learn to deal with the emotional pain caused by ignorance sooner or later.

> > They don't have a choice in the matter. Forcing them to deal with it later

> > is going to be much harder on both of you.

> >

> > It's the whole issue of " give them a fish, or teach them to fish? " Sending

> > a letter to other parents smacks of justing giving your child a fish. I

> > see it as a selfish, short-sighted attempt by parents to avoid the

> > emotional pain that having a child with dwarfism is going to bring.

> >

> > -Dave

> > Diastrophic Dysplasia, Age 40

> >

> >

> >

> > ===

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi

First off, I've enjoyed the discussion which has once again been brought to

the fore.

Second, to answer a few of your points:-

> Kids in school are going to go home to

> their parents and say " mommy we have a midget in our class " so how

> are the parents going to respond???

Sorry, bust a gut when I read that. You see, my kids went home from school

and said, " Mummy my teachers a dwarf and his name is Mr. Short. " I have a

few reports on how the parents responded:-))))

>Take away the mystery, answer the questions, and then it is over!!

TOTALLY agree with you!

>I don't know if you have been around little kids

Only for 22 years:-))))) They thought it was BRILLIANT to have a teacher

smaller (or the same size) as them.

>but usually once you answer their questions the subject is over and they

pick something else to talk about.

again, totally agree. My kids used to ask all manner of questions - in the

first week or so of the school year, but after that they learned by

observation and ME asking THEM for help.

Fred said it would make the kid seem like a creature from

> outer space, well when the other kids are NOT educated about

> dwarfism thats kinda how they see it! To me it shows a 50's

> mentality, lets not talk about it!

No, no no! That is NOT what I would EVER advocate. Of COURSE tell the

kids! Just don't make a huge 'across the board' issue out of it.

>Also I don't think that is " pulling a stunt at all " it is educating

people and I hope the parents would get the child involved asking them what

the child wants in the letter or if the child can do a presentation.

But this in fact, inculcates beyond all doubt into the small statured child

at a VERY early age, that " Hey, you are different - justify yourself! "

> Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share that

attitude.

Oh yes they do!!!!!!! Believe me, very tall people have just as many hang

ups about themselves as we small folk do.

There has been many a time a very tall person has walked past and my mouth

has fallen open, I've began to drool and had to stop myself staring! I also

want to go up to the person and tell them how jealous I am of their size,

BUT, I have to remember, they have hang ups the same as I do.

So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

Nothing at all! Just, well, just don't force them onto the stage of society

for public dissection.

Kindest regards

Fred

[Guest guest]

I agree with Dave on this matter~ I posted privately to Vita, but I don't like

the idea of the letter home. My daughter Amy, (lp) said that a letter home

before school would start a family discussion at dinner that night, and the AP

child " couldn't wait to see the midget kid! " Don't kill me, those are her words!

Amy would feel " on display " .

I suggested to Vita that the mom and child go in one day, possibly during that

first week, and kind of have a show and tell time about the lp classmate. Let

the child answer all the questions she can, and have the mom step in for a

harder one.

As this time was winding down,the teacher could say that this was the time to

ask all the questions they had~after this, it wasn't going to be a topic of

discussion.

And that would be it~ Amy was treated with as much respect as any other child,

and everyone was ok with her after that.

I also said to Vita it is a wonderful tool to help the child advocate for

herself~

Let her learn to solve the little problems, or she'll never learn to handle the

big ones!

Just my 2 cents~

P

Re: Re: Survery: School letters about dwarfism

On Tue, 26 Aug 2003, irish_p_butter wrote:

> Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

> ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share

> that attitude. So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

> Again I wish my parents would have done it!!!

I still do not know (i.e. SOMEBODY ENLIGHTEN ME) what those letters say, I

can only assume. So before you tell me I'm wrong, tell me what the letters

say.

But let's get the issue straight here -- the topic is specifically about

parents of a child with dwarfism sending some unspecified letter to other

parents. There is a subtle but important difference between that and the

general education of kids (e.g. the LPA Outreach Program).

Yes, , sending a letter may help -- in the *short term*. However,

In the long run I think it has great potential to do a huge disservice to

the psychological well-being of the person with dwarfism. It focusses only

on the child's current emotional well-being and not on emotional growth.

There is a lot to being a well-adjusted person (dwarf or not) that can

only be learned from first-hand experience. If you attempt to control the

environment for your kid such that he/she is shielded from ignorance while

growing up, you are taking away opportunities for those first-hand

experiences. Let's not kid ourselves -- some of those first-hand

experiences are going to be emotional pain related to their dwarfism.

My question to such parents is: WHO are you really trying to protect from

emotional pain? Your child, or yourself? Your child is going to have to

learn to deal with the emotional pain caused by ignorance sooner or later.

They don't have a choice in the matter. Forcing them to deal with it later

is going to be much harder on both of you.

It's the whole issue of " give them a fish, or teach them to fish? " Sending

a letter to other parents smacks of justing giving your child a fish. I

see it as a selfish, short-sighted attempt by parents to avoid the

emotional pain that having a child with dwarfism is going to bring.

-Dave

Diastrophic Dysplasia, Age 40

[Guest guest]

Hi Fred,

Just want to jump in and let you know that Jarrod welcomed talking to his

peers at school and other schools about himself. He initiated it and says

that it makes his life easier. Once it is discussed, not justified mind you,

because he knows that isn't necessary, his size isn't an issue or barrier

anymore. No one brings it up usually after the event, as was the case with

my second grade class last year. The kids all just wanted to be his friend

and really asked him only a couple of questions regarding size, but more

about what kind of skate board he rode or what type of bike he had.

It depends on the attitude that surrounds the child. Meaning that if the

parents are proud of this child and embrace the person in the body and

address the obvious without embarasement, the child learns that what is

unique with him is just that. Nothing to be embarrassed about, but something

that is unique and that people have a natural curiosity to what they don't

know or understand.

Once you eliminate the mystery, the interest dies down and life goes on.

Lovies,

Willow

>

> Hi

>

> First off, I've enjoyed the discussion which has once again been brought to

> the fore.

>

> Second, to answer a few of your points:-

>

> > Kids in school are going to go home to

> > their parents and say " mommy we have a midget in our class " so how

> > are the parents going to respond???

>

> Sorry, bust a gut when I read that. You see, my kids went home from school

> and said, " Mummy my teachers a dwarf and his name is Mr. Short. " I have a

> few reports on how the parents responded:-))))

>

> >Take away the mystery, answer the questions, and then it is over!!

>

> TOTALLY agree with you!

>

> >I don't know if you have been around little kids

>

> Only for 22 years:-))))) They thought it was BRILLIANT to have a teacher

> smaller (or the same size) as them.

>

> >but usually once you answer their questions the subject is over and they

> pick something else to talk about.

>

> again, totally agree. My kids used to ask all manner of questions - in the

> first week or so of the school year, but after that they learned by

> observation and ME asking THEM for help.

>

> Fred said it would make the kid seem like a creature from

> > outer space, well when the other kids are NOT educated about

> > dwarfism thats kinda how they see it! To me it shows a 50's

> > mentality, lets not talk about it!

>

> No, no no! That is NOT what I would EVER advocate. Of COURSE tell the

> kids! Just don't make a huge 'across the board' issue out of it.

>

> >Also I don't think that is " pulling a stunt at all " it is educating

> people and I hope the parents would get the child involved asking them what

> the child wants in the letter or if the child can do a presentation.

>

> But this in fact, inculcates beyond all doubt into the small statured child

> at a VERY early age, that " Hey, you are different - justify yourself! "

>

> > Again there is alot of ignorance in the world about LP's, we see

> ourselves like everyone else but alot of tall people DO NOT share that

> attitude.

>

> Oh yes they do!!!!!!! Believe me, very tall people have just as many hang

> ups about themselves as we small folk do.

>

> There has been many a time a very tall person has walked past and my mouth

> has fallen open, I've began to drool and had to stop myself staring! I also

> want to go up to the person and tell them how jealous I am of their size,

> BUT, I have to remember, they have hang ups the same as I do.

>

> So what is wrong with educating other kids???????

>

> Nothing at all! Just, well, just don't force them onto the stage of society

> for public dissection.

>

> Kindest regards

>

> Fred

>

>

>

> ===

>

[Guest guest]

This issue is an important one for me as an adult LP who has " survived " the

school years and now a mother of 2 children with dwarfism who will be facing

these same challenges long before I am ready for them to.

I think that many valid points have been brought up, but I have to say

that I agree more with Dave, Fred, and Vita's assessment than anything else. I'd

also like to add that I am in the process of entering graduate school for

psychology and my " specialty " or studies of interest relate to societal

perceptions of people with disabilities. Also, I am studying how people with

exceptionalities (the new " PC " term) can best handle those same societal

perceptions and

erase many of the misconceptions and ignorance that society imposes on us, so

this is a topic near and dear to my heart on many levels-as a little person,

a parent of LPs and a student.

I will share what I have learned so far from too many hours spent at the

university library and other research I have complied: the more special

attention and/or treatment you give to a situation or person that is already

perceived as being different than the norm or average, the more likely you are

to

increase/add to that perception of difference. Basically, the more you

advertising you do, the greater the attention, and the greater the response (not

necessarily positive), and the more likely that others will see a GREATER

difference

between the child with dwarfism and an average child. By sending a letter to

parents about how to interact/handle/perceive your child with dwarfism, you are

unknowingly sending out a red flag that says " my child is different from your

child and therefore needs to be understood and related to differently than

your child. " Is that the intention? Not exactly, but it is still the outcome.

I know that there are physical concerns that many parents feel need to be

addressed in such a fashion, such as other children who may attempt to pick

up a child with dwarfism because they are so small and so darn adorable. This

can be circumvented in other ways. First, as Vita and others have said, you

must empower your child above all others, give him/her the tools they will need

to handle these situations. I already know that my toddler will have no trouble

telling anyone " NO! " loudly and clearly. Consider this, will similar letters

be sent to every parent on the playground? On the soccer field? To the cousins

and friends, etc., at a classmates birthday party? And as others have said,

you cannot protect your child from the ignorance that will follow him/her

because of her dwarfism, and if they do not learn to handle it now, what will

happen in the later years? In high school? In college? In the job market?

I know it seems so brutal, we are asking parents to engage in a type of

" tough love " for a little one so young that we love so much, and on top of that

our every instinct screams for us to protect our children. BUT it is much

better to do it now, to teach them how to handle their difference now while they

are so resilient and they have you their parents for a support system to fall

back on, than for them to have to learn it later, when it will hurt so much

more because they do not have the wisdom or strength that can only come from

experience to know how to handle these situations.

More than anything, as I stated earlier, if a letter is sent to parents

describing your child with dwarfism and his or her issues, you are creating a

wall of separation between your child and the rest of the children- THEIR

children. I do believe that staff and teachers should be thoroughly educated

about

any concerns related to dwarfism (such as the previously mentioned " no picking

up " rule). It should be relegated to the teachers to enforce the necessary

boundaries because they, not the parents, are the ones with your child and the

other children in the school environment all day long. Therefore, they will

know better than anyone how to handle situations as they arise. Also, by opening

the lines of communication with the school staff and letting them know that

you are there if they have any concerns or questions, parents will facilitate

the staff turning to them should something happen related to dwarfism or

anything else for that matter that they are unclear as to how to handle

properly.

I am very grateful that my parents had the wisdom and courage to send me

to school without any special preparations aside from a second set of books,

stools, and permission to wear sneakers/tennis shoes (they were against dress

code but the only shoes at that time we could find to fit my VERY wide and

little feet). When kids asked why I was so little, I told them, plain and

simple.

If they teased me, I handled it. If the teasing was beyond my abilities to

handle, I let me parents know, and then they and the teachers handled it WITHOUT

bringing any special/added attention to myself or my dwarfism, just as they

would have done for any other child-dwarf or not. Honestly, I think I would have

crawled under my stool if any special " LP " videos, presentations, letters or

such were sent. All I ever wanted was to be treated like a " regular " kid, and

had any of the above happened-that would have been impossible.

I do think the idea of an outreach program is wonderful in certain

situations. If the school as a whole has an overall negative attitude towards

dwarfism, and it is not something that parents and the child can or should have

to

handle on their own, then go for it. Or in cases such as what

described, where the child with dwarfism wants the intervention, again, it can

be a

tremendous and invaluable resource. Honestly, this may sound crazy but I think

the best place for education is within schools and communities that do not have

interaction with dwarfism. In studying prejudice and ignorance, we have

learned that we fear most that which we do not know or do not understand. Simply

by

having a person with dwarfism within the community can be a tremendous source

of education just by daily interactions and the familiarity that will come

from daily " sightings " for lack of a better term, and will do far more in

breaking down the ignorance than videos and presentations. Sadly, we cannot

populate

every town with one of us, although I am sure Fred will have some idea as to

how and why we should of course accomplish this and for that the outreach

program will be wonderful. Please just give children with dwarfism the choice

before any decisions are made because of parental fears and anxieties.

In closing (finally) I am first and foremost a mother and I adore my

children. More than anything I wish I could put a protective shield around them

so

that they may never feel the hurt and anguish that I know from my own

experiences they will face. But rather than try and hide them from the

inevitable --

the ignorance that will follow them for the rest of their lives-my husband and

I hope to empower them to face that ignorance with strength, grace, and

intelligence as early as we possibly can. And, if a situation becomes more than

they

could or should have to handle, then we will intervene, because they are our

children, not because they have dwarfism.

Sorry for going on for so long, this is something I feel very passionately

about and could not sit quietly by any longer.

Always,

Rose Lamy-Cunningham