Re: Dealing with Kids in a Relationship

[Guest guest]

I think you ignore the kid.I feel like the kid.Does not want her father to be

happy.

shonica13 <shonica13@...> wrote: My lover has a daughter who is 18 that

lives with him. I have dwarfism, and she made a point of telling her father she

was afraid of little people. Somehow I don't believe she is afraid of little

people, I think she just does not want me around. How do you deal with the kids

not wanting you around in a relationship

[Guest guest]

To me it sounds like he is just as bad as she is....Myself I would have to move

on with out either one of them...Find someone with or with out kids that will

except you for who you are and not let your height be an issue....

That's my thoughts..

JoAnn

shonica13 <shonica13@...> wrote:

My lover has a daughter who is 18 that lives with him. I have

dwarfism, and she made a point of telling her father she was afraid of

little people.

[Guest guest]

I know how you feel I have a very nice female friend who is not a little person,

but has a 12 year old daughter. My friend feels that her daughter just don't

want anyone else in the picture. We talk alot on the phone, but know seeing each

other will only cause trouble from her daughter. So now her mother is thinking

my lack of employment that is the real issue. I really think that the child is

selfish and feels that they will never be happy, so why should her mother...(or

anyone else) Shame on kids these days!

shonica13 <shonica13@...> wrote: My lover has a daughter who is 18 that

lives with him. I have dwarfism, and she made a point of telling her father she

was afraid of little people. Somehow I don't believe she is afraid of little

people, I think she just does not want me around. How do you deal with the kids

not wanting you around in a relationship

[Guest guest]

To enter a relationship with a parent, you enter a

relationship with those children - be they 8 or 28. I

would find it difficult to have a loving peacful

relationship with someone when children living under

the same roof were less than cordial.

If this man wants to have a committed relationship, he

will work to bring the two of you (you and the

daughter) together. He should provide an

introduction, dinner at a restaurant - neutral ground

- for you two to meet. After that, you should perhaps

extend your hand to this young woman, ask her to

lunch, to go to a museum. Nothing says you must

become best friends, but, for any kind of relationship

with the father to flourish - there must be peace with

the child.

Family counciling may be in order.

First thing, evaluate the relationship with the father

- is he using this as an excuse or does he want to

work to build a blended family?

Good luck -

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Are you telling me that she is average person and is afraid of

little people?

Why scared of little people? Maybe your friend need to watch the

show - Little people in big World.

My lover has a daughter who is

18 that lives with him. I have dwarfism, and she made a point of

telling her father she was afraid of little people. Somehow I don't

believe she is afraid of little people, I think she just does not

want me around. How do you deal with the kids not wanting you

around in a relationship

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Shonica,

I think I take up more of an issue with your

Significant Other's reponse to his daughters rudeness.

He simply stated, " Well, you know how she feels about

you " , instead of respecting you and, frankly, telling

his daughter to knock it off and be courteous to his

lover.

You are in an intimate relationship with this man and

the fact that he doesn't demand that you be respected

by his daughter is upsetting to me and I would hope it

would be upsetting to you.

I think you should take some time to re-evaluate this

relationship and see if maybe he's just not good

enough for you. Because, after all, you deserve a

great guy!

Good luck.

--- shonica13 <shonica13@...> wrote:

> My lover has a daughter who is 18 that lives with

> him. I have

> dwarfism, and she made a point of telling her father

> she was afraid of

> little people. Somehow I don't believe she is

> afraid of little people,

> I think she just does not want me around. How do

> you deal with the

> kids not wanting you around in a relationship? I

> need some advice.

> The thing that bothers me is my lover was

> hospitalized for pneumonia

> and I asked him why didn't he contact me and his

> reply was that no one

> is his family have my contact information. He said

> the only person

> that could have tried and reached out to me was his

> daughter, and he

> said you know how she feels about you. Reminding me

> that she does not

> like me. Its true, but does he have to keep

> reminding me? Me knowing

> how she feels does not help the situation. Do you

> enjoy yourself and

> ignore the children, because technically she is an

> adult.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Yes she is an average size 18 year old. Mind you she has seen mini me on

television and has been to circuses.

deafangel1965 <deafangel65@...> wrote: Are you telling me that she is

average person and is afraid of

little people?

Why scared of little people? Maybe your friend need to watch the

show - Little people in big World.

[Guest guest]

She has only said one thing to me one time. And that is when she asked me if I

wanted to see her tattoo with her dead mother's name/my lover's late wife name

on it. I think she was being rude than. Rubbing it in my face.

<sauceykitty@...> wrote: Hi Shonica,

I think I take up more of an issue with your

Significant Other's reponse to his daughters rudeness.

He simply stated, " Well, you know how she feels about

you " , instead of respecting you and, frankly, telling

his daughter to knock it off and be courteous to his

lover.

[Guest guest]

Have a question here: I am not an LP, but have friends who are. Can I still be a

member of this group anyhow? I really do enjoy reading your posts.

Shonica Brown <shonica13@...> wrote: She has only said one thing to me

one time. And that is when she asked me if I wanted to see her tattoo with her

dead mother's name/my lover's late wife name on it. I think she was being rude

than. Rubbing it in my face.

<sauceykitty@...> wrote: Hi Shonica,

I think I take up more of an issue with your

Significant Other's reponse to his daughters rudeness.

He simply stated, " Well, you know how she feels about

you " , instead of respecting you and, frankly, telling

his daughter to knock it off and be courteous to his

lover.

===

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce and all,

I wanted to step in here with this situation. I do not

know anything about the 12 year old girl's situation

but I will say I don't think it's fair to call her

selfish.

Is her dad in the picture? Maybe she feels some man

might replace her dad. Maybe she feels her mom won't

be there for her as much or at all if a man is in

their life. Maybe she views the bond with her mom as

very special and strong and some stranger (even if

you've known her a while) will come right in it

seemingly uninvited.

Growing up in a broken home is not easy, I feel bad

for all the kids who are products of that, it's a

pretty bad epidemic of our society. I am sorry but

children and their feelings come first, not boyfriends

and girlfriends. Am I saying parents can't have one?

Not at all however your not justing bringing a person

into your life, your bringing that person into their

child's life as well, so you have to consider their

thoughts and feelings. If they have deeper issues like

I mentioned above then the parent needs to have a

heart to heart or even get some counseling. Adults

view things differently than kids, kids emotions are

more fragile so calling them selfish does nothing to

build a bond or help that child.

-

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

that can be a real fear, and for whatever reason too. due to

ignorance, fear, superstition, prejudice, and perhaps even this, the

ap with the fear of us sadly had a very bad occurrence with an lp

while they were children? but unfortunately the ap today, still

carries that over into their adulthood thinking since one was bad,

then all of them must be, and if not that that they're all bad, then

they can't all be trusted, sorta that thing.

this happened to me once while traveling, not in an area of where i

live and am known, rather where no one knew me. i stopped off the

highway into a pizza hut to eat and there was this family of like 5,

2 parents, 3 kids, one which was prolly 7 (?), and upon seeing me he

totally flipped, cried sooo much that they left. i felt sooo bad for

the kid, as i thought maybe an lp had hurt him in his past, who

knows? or maybe he had seen some horror movie where an lp was the

evil one and so he associated him with me?

then i even had an adult ap who was scared of my being a dwarf and

even being near me, as he felt that God, in this guy's warped mind,

lol, made me an lp as I was sooo bad in my former life but not bad

enough to warrant Hell, I guess, haha, so God made or brought me back

as an lp to suffer or pay penance for the wrong doings i had done in

my previous life as an ap apparantly. he believed this supserstition

sooo much that if he saw me he would not say a word or walk near me

too, lol, i guess, because if he did, some of the evil that still

lingered in me from my previous life might emanate from me to him

thereby 'staining' him. i kid you not. so, see, there was an adult ap

who was afraid of lp's, but thank God those type are really really

rare tho, lol.

but this did lead me to think, and it may come off as funny, but i

say it without a smile, ok, maybe a small one, hehe, but has any lp

ever had a morbid or unexplainable fear of ap's?

i had this happen once too with an ap, but only once, hehe, and why

not more than that i dunno? i question that every day to this day!

haha i used to hang with this smokin' ap girl, she was like 5'6 " , and

me, 4'6 " , and she truly disliked hanging out and even getting close

with guys taller than her, as she was hurt by a guy taller than her

without getting into details but she was very very hurt by one, and

when her other ap girls would ask her why she always hung with me as

she could do much better than me as she was that smokin! haha she

would reply, " i never have to fear Grady. plus, he knows if he gets

out of line, even once, he knows i still can kick his ***! " LOL and

she was right! but i didn't care, i still got to hang with her, and

though the ap guys still drooled over her, they didn't. haha so, see,

there was an ap girl who disliked and even had a 'fear' towards guys

taller than her.

what makes any person, big or small, act that way? we may never know

for certain, but this world is sooo big that i for one, kinda no

longer care who doesn't like me and/or is afraid of me for whatever

reason too, as I believe this with '100%' certainity: there is

someone out there for each one of us, be them big or small:).

luv, grady

>

> Are you telling me that she is average person and is afraid of

> little people?

>

> Why scared of little people? Maybe your friend need to watch the

> show - Little people in big World.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Go, Grady~

Patty

Re: Dealing with Kids in a Relationship

that can be a real fear, and for whatever reason too. due to

ignorance, fear, superstition, prejudice, and perhaps even this, the

ap with the fear of us sadly had a very bad occurrence with an lp

while they were children? but unfortunately the ap today, still

carries that over into their adulthood thinking since one was bad,

then all of them must be, and if not that that they're all bad, then

they can't all be trusted, sorta that thing.

this happened to me once while traveling, not in an area of where i

live and am known, rather where no one knew me. i stopped off the

highway into a pizza hut to eat and there was this family of like 5,

2 parents, 3 kids, one which was prolly 7 (?), and upon seeing me he

totally flipped, cried sooo much that they left. i felt sooo bad for

the kid, as i thought maybe an lp had hurt him in his past, who

knows? or maybe he had seen some horror movie where an lp was the

evil one and so he associated him with me?

then i even had an adult ap who was scared of my being a dwarf and

even being near me, as he felt that God, in this guy's warped mind,

lol, made me an lp as I was sooo bad in my former life but not bad

enough to warrant Hell, I guess, haha, so God made or brought me back

as an lp to suffer or pay penance for the wrong doings i had done in

my previous life as an ap apparantly. he believed this supserstition

sooo much that if he saw me he would not say a word or walk near me

too, lol, i guess, because if he did, some of the evil that still

lingered in me from my previous life might emanate from me to him

thereby 'staining' him. i kid you not. so, see, there was an adult ap

who was afraid of lp's, but thank God those type are really really

rare tho, lol.

but this did lead me to think, and it may come off as funny, but i

say it without a smile, ok, maybe a small one, hehe, but has any lp

ever had a morbid or unexplainable fear of ap's?

i had this happen once too with an ap, but only once, hehe, and why

not more than that i dunno? i question that every day to this day!

haha i used to hang with this smokin' ap girl, she was like 5'6 " , and

me, 4'6 " , and she truly disliked hanging out and even getting close

with guys taller than her, as she was hurt by a guy taller than her

without getting into details but she was very very hurt by one, and

when her other ap girls would ask her why she always hung with me as

she could do much better than me as she was that smokin! haha she

would reply, " i never have to fear Grady. plus, he knows if he gets

out of line, even once, he knows i still can kick his ***! " LOL and

she was right! but i didn't care, i still got to hang with her, and

though the ap guys still drooled over her, they didn't. haha so, see,

there was an ap girl who disliked and even had a 'fear' towards guys

taller than her.

what makes any person, big or small, act that way? we may never know

for certain, but this world is sooo big that i for one, kinda no

longer care who doesn't like me and/or is afraid of me for whatever

reason too, as I believe this with '100%' certainity: there is

someone out there for each one of us, be them big or small:).

luv, grady

>

> Are you telling me that she is average person and is afraid of

> little people?

>

> Why scared of little people? Maybe your friend need to watch the

> show - Little people in big World.

>

>

===

[Guest guest]

Several years ago I dated a guy with two kids. They were ages 6 and

10. They never had a problem with me in general. But they had a HUGE

problem with their dad dating someone. But this HUGE problem was

bigger when they were having a bad day or what ever else was going

on. and other days it wasnt as big of a deal.

But when their dad was not around, the kids and I got along just

fine. But as soon as their father was around, they were horrible and

miserable brats.

I broke up with this guy for several reasons....one of them was

because his ideas and my ideas of raising kids were totally

different and I couldn't deal with certain things.

A little background information, I'm white and he is black. His kids

are half black and half Hispanic. The kids didn't really seem to

care that I had dwarfism and that I was white. They just had a

problem with their dad with someone.

However the difference, you are in a relationship with a man who has

an ADULT child. Even though she is an adult, I would encourage you

to invite her out and take her for a dinner and a movie to get to

know YOU. She could be a little nervous about the differences...or

she could just not want her dad to date and found something to pick

on.

You have to ask yourself, " If things do not change, can I deal with

this for the next 5 years? "

If you want more feedback, feel free to email me personally.

a

> >

> > Are you telling me that she is average person and is afraid of

> > little people?

> >

> > Why scared of little people? Maybe your friend need to watch

the

> > show - Little people in big World.

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ===

>

[Guest guest]

I had a very simular situation. I broke up with my last girlfriend because the

way we viewed raising children to just be two complete opposite opinions. Her

child wasnt grown but old enough to know what she was doing. Even though she

never did anything to me personally i cant stand when children disrespect their

parents it fustrated me to no end. With that being said i had to make a choice

and even though i love my ex to the bottom of my heart, the relationship wasnt

worth coming between her and her child. No outsider should come between a parent

and their child and if they easily do.. you might want to step back and ask why.

True in your case Shonica the child is grown but at the same time thats a lot of

tension to live wit and it may not be worth it. Esp if the father dont step up

and show that your importance to his child. If she still aint down for it step

back and then think about whether its worth the battle. But dont expect to come

between her and her father...