~ Re: [dwarfism_moderated] The dreaded YOU'RE LITTLE has arrived for my future wife!

[Guest guest]

I would tell any small child that the girls bones just don't grow as fast as

other kids. This way, they know they will still grow, which is true! Not so hard

on an lp's self esteem.

Another one I would be asked about Amy was about her hearing aids. So many kids

had the wrong idea about them. I would ask them if they knew anyone who wore

glasses~ of course they did, and I would explain the glasses help them to see,

they weren't blind, were they? And I would say the same thing about the hearing

aids. The hearing aids help them to hear, just as the glasses would help them to

see.

Patty

[dwarfism_moderated] The dreaded " YOU'RE LITTLE " has arrived for my

future wife!

She's just gone five, just started school, and one of her 'friends' (a four

year old) has made remarks about how small she is, what a large head she

has, tiny hands etc.

What do we tell our dwarf children of that age? How do we speak to them in

terms which, in no way, directly, or indirectly, suggests inferiority? We

can say " But everyone is different. " We can say " It doesn't matter whether

you are small or tall. " We can say, " Yes, you are small and you will always

be small but..... "

It's always that dam word " BUT! " It infers so much! The word " But "

suggests that what you are saying is fine, BUT, it is not the whole truth!

It is Society which dictates that we are 'freaks'! I make no apology for

using the word freak either, because at the end of the day, no matter how

much you wrap it up, in the eyes of Society, THAT is what we are!

Society seems to NEED us to be that way. It needs something/someone, to be

inferior to it!

Fine! We all know how to deal with that one. We all have our own way of

doing it.

But, how do you inculcate into a child of five, pride, self importance,

quality, a " Head held high " philosophy upon herself, when you know dam

nicely Society is never ever going to allow it?

Whatever I say to my future wife of five years of age, can be as true as I

wish it to be. BUT, that is fine, as long as it is betwixt her and I. But

she then goes out into her own big wide world and I'm outnumbered by the

card carrying members of Society who will take great delight in telling her

different!

What do you say to children? How do you deal with the problem? Whilst at

the same time, practically intravenously injecting all the qualities into

her which will give the immunity, the antidote, the vaccine to be able to

fight off the germs of inferiority which Society is going to be hell bent on

infecting her with?

Ironically, it is no good telling her that she is a special gift from God.

No good telling her " God " made her special, because God is never around to

tell the perpetrators of the inferiority sermon, when she is gonna really

need it!

" Hey God, if I'm so special, how come I'm the only one who knows it? "

This was written, partly to get it out of my system, partly out of the shear

frustration I feel, as a 58 year old who has never ever found the answer,

and partly out of the hurt I feel for this five year old, who has just lost

her virginity of innocence! She has experienced the first lesson of

millions, in the corruption of her 'self'.

Thanks for listening.

Fred

P.S. For those who don't know why I call her my future wife....... it was

a case of " Our eyes met across a crowded room.... " the first time I saw her.

She had a history of never ever taking immediately to strangers, but I

walked across to her, held out my hand and she has (metaphorically), never

left go of it since. That was when she was just three. She is now five:-)