WANTED: great words to diffuse anger/ignorance

[Guest guest]

Like some LP's born in the " dark ages, " my

parents had a very difficult time accepting me,

thus instilling shame and anything BUT a feeling

of self-worth within.

So while my challenges have been many, I

have overcome most, aside from the severe

physical challenges, and have lived a very full

and happy life.

However, there IS just this ONE thing, which

can bring all the shame, insecurity, and anger

flooding right back in a heartbeat---whenever

I encounter the intrusive ignorance out there.

You know, the kind we all get from time to time.

Then, there are the kids---the ones nine and

younger---who seem to not only be getting more

and more ruder these days, but LOUDER too, or

is this just me?!!

Whatever.

My words cannot even begin to express how

amazed and in awe I am of the way so many of

you are able to talk to, AND educate, the very

ones who are being rude, intrusive, and ignorant.

Just knowing some of you and the positive ways

you live, has made a bright difference in my life.

There still is just this one little snag though that

I have problems with. You see, whenever someone

is very intrusive, even a child, I immediately fold up

in shame and anger, because my parents blamed

me for THEIR feelings of shame and anger whenever

people reacted. They instilled the same in me,

which has taken me years to overcome.

I don't WANT to fold up. I WANT to be able to

begin a conversation with them, so I may allow them

to see me as a person, and NOT some object of

scorn. Or if they are simply curious, I want to be

able to " educate " and enlighten them in a positive

way---and not have to walk away in a silence

which hurts.

I feel ONCE I can learn from you some great

opening statements for the various situations we

encounter, then I can do the rest. It's just FINDING

the right words without becoming lost in painful

emotions which can surface in a flash.

Soooo, please share with me how many of you

may positively respond to:

a. " Mommy, look at THAT! " while only a few feet

away from you.

b. " Oh LOOK!!! IT'S a midget!!! "

c. " Hey!!! Come see this midget! "

d. I kid you not---one day while standing in a

check-out line, I suddenly became aware

of a person pressing up close behind me...

TOO close. The next moment the person

YELLS to her shopping buddy in another lane,

" Look!!! *IT* only comes up to here on me! "

e. You are either getting out of your car, or getting

in it, encountering by very loud exclamations

of, " You mean YOU can drive?!! " Or, " HOW can

YOU drive a car?!! "

f. I have owned several horses through the years,

and have endured the SAME types of rude and

LOUD questions, like, " HOW can YOU ride a

HORSE?!! " Some would say they are only being

curious, and I would agree, yet the rude tone

of their voices immediately causes ME to feel

hurt and anger well up from within, stealing all

the " right " words I could have used in response,

if I didn't lose them.

g. You're trying to shop. You're then seen by a kid

about 9-13 years of age, and it becomes THEIR

MISSION to follow you EVERYWHERE you go, and

try to ACT as if you're too stupid to realize they just

HAPPEN to go everywhere you do, and just HAPPEN

to HAVE to stop where you do. WHAT DO YOU

SAY? One time when a very annoying kid of

13 or 14 was doing just this to me, I blurted out,

" You're harassing me, so I think it's time I call

Security for assistance. " WHOOSH! I sure got

rid of THAT annoying brat, yet I would have

RATHERED I could say something in a way to

have educated him in a positive light. I believe

in the " ripple effects, " that through every one

person WE can positively educate, we educate

those in that person's circle.

h. You encounter those very condescending people

who " talk DOWN " to you, or talks very loudly to you

enunciating their words, because THEY are of that

mind frame that because we are short, we surely

MUST have mental defects as well, and/or hearing

problems. HOW do you respond?

i. You're in a professional type of gathering, when

a person who THINKS they are being funny, VERY

LOUDLY exclaims to YOU, " Well, you can STAND UP

now! Oh, wait a minute! You ARE standing up, aren't

you?!! " What would you say?

Oh dear. This is certainly MUCH longer than I ever

intended it to be! I so am terribly sorry! Please know

how very much your patience and " words of wisdom, "

will be appreciated.

My heartfelt thanks,

Adelaide