Men!?!?!

[Guest guest]

Ok...I'm venting. For those that don't want to hear it stop reading

now...I got up at 6:30 this morning. Got dressed. Made my son

breakfast and got him out of bed. While he was eating I packed a

lunch for him. I then had to " facilitate " teeth brushing, bathroom

going, and getting dressed. Never actually managed to feed myself

through all of that. Had to be out the door at 7:40 to take the

neighbor kid to school which I do 4 days a week. All the while my

husband is ASLEEP in bed because he is SICK! So I then take a trip

to the middle school to drop off someone elses kid, then go to my

son's preschool. I help set up for their " harvest party " and go over

the scholastic book club stuff with his teacher (which stupid me I

volunteered to run!). I then do something for myself...I stop at

starbucks to get COFFEE! It's pouring rain and my lap is soaked by

the time I arrive at therapy for my arm. After therapy I jump back

in the car and pick my son up to be " part of the Party " for 10

minutes. Get him packed up. (Why can't he carry his own stuff to the

car?). Then off to get hair cuts! I arrive home at 1:30. The husband

is still in his jammies and has done NOTHING all day. Dirty dishes

in the sink waiting for me. Folded laundry not put away. Dog poop

still all over the patio. When is the last sick day any of us

mother's got? Man! I swear. When I'm sick I do all the stuff I

always do I just do it SICK. I don't get to sleep in EVER. I don't

get to stay in bed because my nose is stuffed up! I still have to go

pick up the neighbor from school so I'll stop complaining now. I

just would kill for a sick day! How clueless are men anyway? He

actually asked me what was wrong when I came home and had to start

cleaning house!

[Guest guest]

PSSSST I am a stay at home husband.. Its the same for us dealing with our

working wives as it is you putting up with your husband lol. Lets see.. I

cook, clean and do all the laundry and yard work. Hmmm she may have to

change a diaper once every couple weeks lol.

Chass of Rundel of Ansteorra aka of the SCA aka

Charinthalis Del Sans of the portable Chariot

Honorable Recruiter of the House of the Red Shark (Have you seen my Belaying

Pin??)

Maison Du Corsaire Rouge

Muddeler of Mead, Ailment of Ale, Whiner of wine.

Men!?!?!

>

>

>

> Ok...I'm venting. For those that don't want to hear it stop reading

> now...I got up at 6:30 this morning. Got dressed. Made my son

> breakfast and got him out of bed. While he was eating I packed a

> lunch for him. I then had to " facilitate " teeth brushing, bathroom

> going, and getting dressed. Never actually managed to feed myself

> through all of that. Had to be out the door at 7:40 to take the

> neighbor kid to school which I do 4 days a week. All the while my

> husband is ASLEEP in bed because he is SICK! So I then take a trip

> to the middle school to drop off someone elses kid, then go to my

> son's preschool. I help set up for their " harvest party " and go over

> the scholastic book club stuff with his teacher (which stupid me I

> volunteered to run!). I then do something for myself...I stop at

> starbucks to get COFFEE! It's pouring rain and my lap is soaked by

> the time I arrive at therapy for my arm. After therapy I jump back

> in the car and pick my son up to be " part of the Party " for 10

> minutes. Get him packed up. (Why can't he carry his own stuff to the

> car?). Then off to get hair cuts! I arrive home at 1:30. The husband

> is still in his jammies and has done NOTHING all day. Dirty dishes

> in the sink waiting for me. Folded laundry not put away. Dog poop

> still all over the patio. When is the last sick day any of us

> mother's got? Man! I swear. When I'm sick I do all the stuff I

> always do I just do it SICK. I don't get to sleep in EVER. I don't

> get to stay in bed because my nose is stuffed up! I still have to go

> pick up the neighbor from school so I'll stop complaining now. I

> just would kill for a sick day! How clueless are men anyway? He

> actually asked me what was wrong when I came home and had to start

> cleaning house!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Although I am a man (last time I checked) I'm not responding to defend your

husband's actions, but to make a couple interesting observations:

Observation #1. Ever notice how when women are ticked off about their guy,

they'll throw up their arms and huff " men!!!! " In essence, they take the

behavior of one guy to be the standard for the whole male race. Men, on the

other hand, when upset with their women, tend to mumble " that b***h... " In

essence, they entertain the notion that of all women in the world, they got

stuck with the bad one. I find it humorous.

Observation #2. Ever notice how women complain about their husbands being lazy

and worthless, especially when they're sick, and yet they turn right around and

train their sons to be exactly the same way. How did your husband get this way?

Probably because your mother-in-law " facilitated " his teeth brushing, dressing,

cleaning his room, packing his books, and stretched herself so thin she had no

free time, not even to eat on occasion. She trained him to become totally

reliant on women. Is your son headed down that same road?

Bill

-------------- Original message --------------

Ok...I'm venting. For those that don't want to hear it stop reading

now...I got up at 6:30 this morning. Got dressed. Made my son

breakfast and got him out of bed. While he was eating I packed a

lunch for him. I then had to " facilitate " teeth brushing, bathroom

going, and getting dressed. Never actually managed to feed myself

through all of that. Had to be out the door at 7:40 to take the

neighbor kid to school which I do 4 days a week. All the while my

husband is ASLEEP in bed because he is SICK! So I then take a trip

to the middle school to drop off someone elses kid, then go to my

son's preschool. I help set up for their " harvest party " and go over

the scholastic book club stuff with his teacher (which stupid me I

volunteered to run!). I then do something for myself...I stop at

starbucks to get COFFEE! It's pouring rain and my lap is soaked by

the time I arrive at therapy for my arm. After therapy I jump back

in the car and pick my son up to be " part of the Party " for 10

minutes. Get him packed up. (Why can't he carry his own stuff to the

car?). Then off to get hair cuts! I arrive home at 1:30. The husband

is still in his jammies and has done NOTHING all day. Dirty dishes

in the sink waiting for me. Folded laundry not put away. Dog poop

still all over the patio. When is the last sick day any of us

mother's got? Man! I swear. When I'm sick I do all the stuff I

always do I just do it SICK. I don't get to sleep in EVER. I don't

get to stay in bed because my nose is stuffed up! I still have to go

pick up the neighbor from school so I'll stop complaining now. I

just would kill for a sick day! How clueless are men anyway? He

actually asked me what was wrong when I came home and had to start

cleaning house!

===

[Guest guest]

Also not defending your husband, but I attended a men's retreat a couple of

years ago and the speaker offered this illustration.

A man and a woman are driving along and they pass a new restaurant.

Woman says to man: " We'll have to go there sometime. "

The man heard, " We'll have to go there sometime. "

The woman meant: " I want you to take me there for dinner this weekend. "

Women ... PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE ARE NOT MINDREADERS!!! (This also

goes for any women who think they are being excessively obvious when they

flirt with me. It happens to me so rarely, I don't even know what it looks

like.)

Re: Men!?!?!

>

> Although I am a man (last time I checked) I'm not responding to defend

> your husband's actions, but to make a couple interesting observations:

>

> Observation #1. Ever notice how when women are ticked off about their guy,

> they'll throw up their arms and huff " men!!!! " In essence, they take the

> behavior of one guy to be the standard for the whole male race. Men, on

> the other hand, when upset with their women, tend to mumble " that

> b***h... " In essence, they entertain the notion that of all women in the

> world, they got stuck with the bad one. I find it humorous.

>

> Observation #2. Ever notice how women complain about their husbands being

> lazy and worthless, especially when they're sick, and yet they turn right

> around and train their sons to be exactly the same way. How did your

> husband get this way? Probably because your mother-in-law " facilitated "

> his teeth brushing, dressing, cleaning his room, packing his books, and

> stretched herself so thin she had no free time, not even to eat on

> occasion. She trained him to become totally reliant on women. Is your

> son headed down that same road?

>

> Bill

>

>

> -------------- Original message --------------

>

>

> Ok...I'm venting. For those that don't want to hear it stop reading

> now...I got up at 6:30 this morning. Got dressed. Made my son

> breakfast and got him out of bed. While he was eating I packed a

> lunch for him. I then had to " facilitate " teeth brushing, bathroom

> going, and getting dressed. Never actually managed to feed myself

> through all of that. Had to be out the door at 7:40 to take the

> neighbor kid to school which I do 4 days a week. All the while my

> husband is ASLEEP in bed because he is SICK! So I then take a trip

> to the middle school to drop off someone elses kid, then go to my

> son's preschool. I help set up for their " harvest party " and go over

> the scholastic book club stuff with his teacher (which stupid me I

> volunteered to run!). I then do something for myself...I stop at

> starbucks to get COFFEE! It's pouring rain and my lap is soaked by

> the time I arrive at therapy for my arm. After therapy I jump back

> in the car and pick my son up to be " part of the Party " for 10

> minutes. Get him packed up. (Why can't he carry his own stuff to the

> car?). Then off to get hair cuts! I arrive home at 1:30. The husband

> is still in his jammies and has done NOTHING all day. Dirty dishes

> in the sink waiting for me. Folded laundry not put away. Dog poop

> still all over the patio. When is the last sick day any of us

> mother's got? Man! I swear. When I'm sick I do all the stuff I

> always do I just do it SICK. I don't get to sleep in EVER. I don't

> get to stay in bed because my nose is stuffed up! I still have to go

> pick up the neighbor from school so I'll stop complaining now. I

> just would kill for a sick day! How clueless are men anyway? He

> actually asked me what was wrong when I came home and had to start

> cleaning house!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ===

>

[Guest guest]

Well, to start...this whole thing that you blamed your

husband for is the same heated debate that gets

started around our house. My excuse always is I work

(3) count them THREE part time jobs so I have barely

any time to clean up around the house. Also, I would

love to have the money to even go to a place like

STARBUCKS...what money I do have I usually give to my

wife to feed the kids and to have for herself. And I

noticed you do blame yourself for a few things so

apparently he isn't the blame for everything around

the house. Just my words of encouragement.

ERIC

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The women are

no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are down???

Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband reminds me

of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be more self

sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily, husband

needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go on strike

woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get the point

across...maybe.

karin

[Guest guest]

The question you should ask is " How clueless is your husband? "

without generalizing his actions to that of all men. That's called

venting- asking how clueless MEN are is called men-bashing.

(Or, maybe you just have PMS)

Mike

PS- don't miss the irony in my post LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

> Ok...I'm venting. For those that don't want to hear it stop

reading

> now...I got up at 6:30 this morning. Got dressed. Made my son

> breakfast and got him out of bed. While he was eating I packed a

> lunch for him. I then had to " facilitate " teeth brushing, bathroom

> going, and getting dressed. Never actually managed to feed myself

> through all of that. Had to be out the door at 7:40 to take the

> neighbor kid to school which I do 4 days a week. All the while my

> husband is ASLEEP in bed because he is SICK! So I then take a trip

> to the middle school to drop off someone elses kid, then go to my

> son's preschool. I help set up for their " harvest party " and go

over

> the scholastic book club stuff with his teacher (which stupid me I

> volunteered to run!). I then do something for myself...I stop at

> starbucks to get COFFEE! It's pouring rain and my lap is soaked by

> the time I arrive at therapy for my arm. After therapy I jump back

> in the car and pick my son up to be " part of the Party " for 10

> minutes. Get him packed up. (Why can't he carry his own stuff to

the

> car?). Then off to get hair cuts! I arrive home at 1:30. The

husband

> is still in his jammies and has done NOTHING all day. Dirty dishes

> in the sink waiting for me. Folded laundry not put away. Dog poop

> still all over the patio. When is the last sick day any of us

> mother's got? Man! I swear. When I'm sick I do all the stuff I

> always do I just do it SICK. I don't get to sleep in EVER. I don't

> get to stay in bed because my nose is stuffed up! I still have to

go

> pick up the neighbor from school so I'll stop complaining now. I

> just would kill for a sick day! How clueless are men anyway? He

> actually asked me what was wrong when I came home and had to start

> cleaning house!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

AMen Karin- if all sons are doted upon and learn that women will do

their work for them, then why would they change when they grow up?

We are what we learn- same way many girls learn not to like math or

science because they dont get rewarded for it in the classroom. The

problem may be what men learn as boys, and not any inherent laziness.

Mike

> Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The

women are

> no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are

down???

> Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband

reminds me

> of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be

more self

> sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily,

husband

> needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go

on strike

> woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get

the point

> across...maybe.

> karin

[Guest guest]

Okay, I'll register in on this one. I've been married for almost 33 years

to a wonderful (and cute!) husband who is a great helper and always has

been. If I need him to do something, I only have to ask because as

said, men aren't mind readers. Whenever I get irritated with him about not

helping with something, it's most often because I haven't spoken up about

needing/wanting help. Sometimes we have to negotiate a timeframe for this

help, but it still gets done.

Being a mom of young children can be stressful -- if you're a working mom

with young children, things are even more stressful. Until children are

7-8 years old, they pretty much need direction (pick up your lunch, comb

your hair, etc.). Sharing home and childcare tasks is something that women

find difficult to do. We just have a hard time letting go -- probably

because we think (and sometimes correctly) that no one can do the job as

well as we can. We women have to accept that while a certain job might not

get done exactly the way we would do it, it can still get done in a

reasonable manner.

My advice is to speak up, ladies, when you need or want help with

something. As for your children, get them as independent as possible as

early as possible. You'll still be really busy, but that's what makes life

interesting.

For those ready to read more... When my children were younger, Stefan and

I took 3-week " vacations " at s Hopkins every few years. Both my

husband and daughter (then a young child) worked together to get things

done at home. Last year was the real acid test, however, because I was in

a cast for 14 weeks. I could do nothing during that time except take care

of myself. How many women have dreamed of having absolutely nothing to do

except what they choose to do? What I found was that this is a VERY boring

way to live! My husband and children (now adults) were great helpers. My

husband did all the cooking, grocery shopping, and laundry -- we hired a

cleaning service to clean our big barn of a house. Okay, so he bought

extra " surprises " like Italian radishes at the grocery store and

occasionally missed some things on the list -- he still did a good job

overall. My children also did grocery shopping for us, as well as helping

around the house. No one at our house is perfect, including me, but we

work perfectly well _together_.

Vita

At 02:30 AM 10/29/2004, you wrote:

>Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The women are

>no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are down???

>Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband reminds me

>of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be more self

>sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily, husband

>needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go on strike

>woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get the point

>across...maybe.

>karin

At 02:30 AM 10/29/2004, KRedston wrote:

>Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The women are

>no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are down???

>Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband reminds me

>of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be more self

>sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily, husband

>needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go on strike

>woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get the point

>across...maybe.

>karin

[Guest guest]

Hi Vita,

You are right on the money! I was going to respond in the same

manner you had. However, I am not married or have children. You

should write a book! This was great advice and more importantly

direct & clear!

Men cannot read women's minds, and women cannot read men's minds

either. Let's see, women want equal rights, and treatment. Think

about how you want to be treated and treat others the same way. With

that in mind, Actions do speak louder than words, but sometimes its

important to speak up.

a

>

> >Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves?

The women are

> >no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are

down???

> >Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband

reminds me

> >of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be

more self

> >sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily,

husband

> >needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go

on strike

> >woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get

the point

> >across...maybe.

> >karin

[Guest guest]

>>>>My advice is to speak up, ladies, when you need or want help with

something. As for your children, get them as independent as possible as

early as possible. You'll still be really busy, but that's what makes life

interesting.

With all due respect.... Why should we have to ask? Isn't it their home? Aren't

the children his (we hope!) Are they blind? Should they not, like we women, be

able to see the things that need to be done in our MUTUAL home BEFORE being

asked, just as we do?

I have been blessed with a husband who has never needed to be asked to " help "

around our home anymore than I need to be asked to do the things I see need

done. Talk about an " acid test? " I am disabled for 15 years and my Saint

does it all (cooking, laundry, most shopping, cleaning, PLUS all the outside

work and looking after my needs) other than for a young lady from my Church who

comes in once every other week for 4-5 hours to help out... And 67 is at

working everyday!

Busy being a mother? I have 10 children plus 5 " drop-ins " or foster children

over the years (4 mine, 6 of my husbands who I raised... before I became

disabled and NOW they are all grown thank goodness!)

I thought all men were like that for years since my dad was also. No I am not

super woman and is not superman and neither ever were. I am " merely " a

WOMAN who has been blessed with two great husbands (my children's dad passed

away) who never needed to be coaxed or prompted to " help. " As we age we need to

think of other options however for when neither of us are able to DO..... but

for now he can and does.

What a guy!

Cheers,

Karolyn

Re: Men!?!?!

Okay, I'll register in on this one. I've been married for almost 33 years

to a wonderful (and cute!) husband who is a great helper and always has

been. If I need him to do something, I only have to ask because as

said, men aren't mind readers. Whenever I get irritated with him about not

helping with something, it's most often because I haven't spoken up about

needing/wanting help. Sometimes we have to negotiate a timeframe for this

help, but it still gets done.

Being a mom of young children can be stressful -- if you're a working mom

with young children, things are even more stressful. Until children are

7-8 years old, they pretty much need direction (pick up your lunch, comb

your hair, etc.). Sharing home and childcare tasks is something that women

find difficult to do. We just have a hard time letting go -- probably

because we think (and sometimes correctly) that no one can do the job as

well as we can. We women have to accept that while a certain job might not

get done exactly the way we would do it, it can still get done in a

reasonable manner.

My advice is to speak up, ladies, when you need or want help with

something. As for your children, get them as independent as possible as

early as possible. You'll still be really busy, but that's what makes life

interesting.

For those ready to read more... When my children were younger, Stefan and

I took 3-week " vacations " at s Hopkins every few years. Both my

husband and daughter (then a young child) worked together to get things

done at home. Last year was the real acid test, however, because I was in

a cast for 14 weeks. I could do nothing during that time except take care

of myself. How many women have dreamed of having absolutely nothing to do

except what they choose to do? What I found was that this is a VERY boring

way to live! My husband and children (now adults) were great helpers. My

husband did all the cooking, grocery shopping, and laundry -- we hired a

cleaning service to clean our big barn of a house. Okay, so he bought

extra " surprises " like Italian radishes at the grocery store and

occasionally missed some things on the list -- he still did a good job

overall. My children also did grocery shopping for us, as well as helping

around the house. No one at our house is perfect, including me, but we

work perfectly well _together_.

Vita

At 02:30 AM 10/29/2004, you wrote:

>Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The women are

>no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are down???

>Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband reminds me

>of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be more self

>sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily, husband

>needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go on strike

>woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get the point

>across...maybe.

>karin

At 02:30 AM 10/29/2004, KRedston wrote:

>Yeah, I see men are quick to criticize and defend themselves? The women are

>no where to be heard? What gives? Maybe their internets are down???

>Part of me says you are right...guys are clueless...your husband reminds me

>of my father. But part of me also says...train your son to be more self

>sufficient. Don't let him grow up the same way. And frankily, husband

>needs a shoe thrown at him maybe...psychologically of course...go on strike

>woman. Quit doing anything...for three days. That ought to get the point

>across...maybe.

>karin

===