Re: How does one 'inform' without appearing to 'tell' ?

[Guest guest]

Well I have gotten to the point where I am not to concerned anymore how I

come across. That sounds really bad but it has gone beyond ridiculous at

times. Actually, many of the doctors that I do inform seem to appreciate it

because they realize they know little or nothing about different forms of

dwarfism. And then there are the others who think they know everything and

I know nothing. Every doctors appointment I go to I treat as a consultation

and I am the one who makes the decision about what they will or will not do.

I do not look at doctors any more as people who listen and will be my

friend. They are giving me their OPINION and then I need to be the one to

make the decision.

Best of luck to you Fred

Danette (who has a doctors appointment scheduled for two weeks from now with

a doctor who doesn't listen very well

-- How does one 'inform' without appearing to 'tell' ?

As you will appreciate from my last post, I just LOVE hospital visits!

One problem which keeps occurring is how to TELL a doctor/nurse/specialist

something, without appearing to be either a smart ass, or appearing to

attack his own knowledge?

How does one 'proffer information about ones 'condition' when one thinks the

person doesn't know?

Several times, actually quite a few times, lately, because of spinal

problems, I've had occasion to 'supplement's a persons knowledge.

HOWEVER, I find no matter how hard I try to be tactful, I always run the

risk of either being accused of being a smart ass, or worse, insinuating the

recipient of this information is thick!

i.e., like today, when the girl went to take blood out of my arm. HOW

should I have 'explained' to her past experience and practice? Do I go all

round the blocks by saying " Actually, I've found in the past that it has

been easier to take the blood by.......................... "

Rather than, as I am apt to do, say " You will have to get it out of the back

of my hand. "

Also, how does one attempt to 'bring up to speed' a specialist in his own

field, who it is very apparent knows little, (if anything) about ones

dwarfism or its inherent problems? Again, without appearing to wish to be

more knowledgeable than he/she?

Do we bluff it and preface everything with " As you know.....................

...... "

One specialist floored me totally, after I had 'explained' a point, by

saying " Are you telling me or asking me? "

He had me by the short and curly's! Because, if I said " I am telling you " I

am laying myself open to a very nasty retort from him! If I said " I am

asking you " then that is daft, because it is something I have just told him!

In the end I said, " I am informing you " . Again he shocked me by saying " How

do you know this? "

I was struck dumb! I mean, hell, if I listed all the sources of research

and reference I have ever used to add to my own knowledge of my own

condition, I would be there all day!

The list of scenarios is endless, and I'm sure you have your own.

So yer, how DOES one 'share' information, and still do so tactfully, and in

an acceptable way to the recipient who inevitably thinks himself/herself God

of all knowledge?

Fred, who is renowned for never being tactful:-)

[Guest guest]

This is when you say...... " I am PAYING you for your services, therefore, I

expect you to LISTEN TO ME! period end of sentence!

[Guest guest]

Say, " BOTH "

" One specialist floored me totally, after I had 'explained' a point, by

saying " Are you telling me or asking me? " "

If this doctor cannot figure out how or why you might know this, I'd say that

his powers of perception were WAY OFF. To assume that a person would not know

anything about a medical condition that affects them or a family member is

either arrogance or stupidity, I don't know which

" In the end I said, " I am informing you " . Again he shocked me by saying

" How do you know this? " "

I would RUN from anyone who has this sort of bedside manner..

Just my two cents (or pence, or what have you...)

in San

[Guest guest]

I'm in the same boat with Danette. If a doctor isn't up to speed on my

condition, I will " inform " him/her in the most efficient manner possible; their

emotions be damned. I don't know how the healthcare system in England works,

but here in the states (at least with my current health plan) I can choose from

a list of medical providers. If the doctor I see is an ass, or doesn't listen,

I just pull out the list and try another until I find one I like.

Also, on my first visit to a new doctor, I give them a " homework " assignment. I

have a packet of information I've downloaded and printed from the internet

regarding my type of dwarfism (most doctors, unless affiliated with LPA or

familiar with skeletal dysplasia, only know about Achondroplasia). The good

doctors appreciate the information, read it, and compliment me on being a

well-informed patient. The bad doctors assume they know everything, and expect

each word that flows from their lips to be treated as if uttered from the Lord

on High. Too bad for them, I take my business elsewhere.

There is one type of doctor I don't know how to deal with, and they drive me

crazy. Those are the ones that are geniunely intrested in you, concerned,

caring, listen well; but talk to you as if you were a child. My sleep studies

doctor is this way. She is very nice, knowlegeable and attentive, however,

before becoming a sleep specialist, she was a pediatrician. I had a large

bruise on my hand from a botched blood draw (like Fred, butterfly on back of

hand), and she looked at my hand and said " Ohhh. Do we have a boo-boo? Poor

widdle hand. " For a moment, I thought she was going to try to kiss it and make

it better (however, she is pretty cute, so that might not have been a bad thing

;-)

-Bill

--------- How does one 'inform' without appearing to 'tell' ?

As you will appreciate from my last post, I just LOVE hospital visits!

One problem which keeps occurring is how to TELL a doctor/nurse/specialist

something, without appearing to be either a smart ass, or appearing to

attack his own knowledge?

How does one 'proffer information about ones 'condition' when one thinks the

person doesn't know?

Several times, actually quite a few times, lately, because of spinal

problems, I've had occasion to 'supplement's a persons knowledge.

HOWEVER, I find no matter how hard I try to be tactful, I always run the

risk of either being accused of being a smart ass, or worse, insinuating the

recipient of this information is thick!

i.e., like today, when the girl went to take blood out of my arm. HOW

should I have 'explained' to her past experience and practice? Do I go all

round the blocks by saying " Actually, I've found in the past that it has

been easier to take the blood by.......................... "

Rather than, as I am apt to do, say " You will have to get it out of the back

of my hand. "

Also, how does one attempt to 'bring up to speed' a specialist in his own

field, who it is very apparent knows little, (if anything) about ones

dwarfism or its inherent problems? Again, without appearing to wish to be

more knowledgeable than he/she?

Do we bluff it and preface everything with " As you know.....................

...... "

One specialist floored me totally, after I had 'explained' a point, by

saying " Are you telling me or asking me? "

He had me by the short and curly's! Because, if I said " I am telling you " I

am laying myself open to a very nasty retort from him! If I said " I am

asking you " then that is daft, because it is something I have just told him!

In the end I said, " I am informing you " . Again he shocked me by saying " How

do you know this? "

I was struck dumb! I mean, hell, if I listed all the sources of research

and reference I have ever used to add to my own knowledge of my own

condition, I would be there all day!

The list of scenarios is endless, and I'm sure you have your own.

So yer, how DOES one 'share' information, and still do so tactfully, and in

an acceptable way to the recipient who inevitably thinks himself/herself God

of all knowledge?

Fred, who is renowned for never being tactful:-)

[Guest guest]

I just know to speak up without acting like I'm Dr. Quinn.;-)

Regarding taking any blood from me I tell them to take it from the top of my

hand. I don't want to be poked and prodded and feel like I just came from

Dracula's Blood Bank. lol

When they need to take a Urine sample from me I ask for a hat since it is

much easier than releasing my Urine in a Dixie Cup. lol

Sometimes one has to speak up or forever hold their Peace or whatever else

they may need to hold. lol

Helen

[Guest guest]

It jsut isnt the medical community that has a problem with education...its

the EDUCATORS themselves. So far we have had good fortune witht he doctors we

deal with re: dwarfism. Its the education community that angers me. I

" educate them witht he stats and figures and facts, usually getting a

condescending

attidue. Once it was actually said that I was an ignorant non

professional....My mama bear personna takes over almost automatically now.

BTW, for those who responded to my inquiry about the latest gym teacher, a

bit of good news. We have a meeting Monday morning to discuss and implement

an appropriate PE plan. In thsi case it truly was a fist experience with

skeletal dysplasi and its ramifications and she is at thsi point being open to

our kid's differences.

Apryl

[Guest guest]

Remember, your 'MOM' beats ANY MD, M. Ed., D Ed., etc...

in San

Re: How does one 'inform' without appearing to 'tell' ?

It jsut isnt the medical community that has a problem with education...its

the EDUCATORS themselves. So far we have had good fortune witht he doctors we

deal with re: dwarfism. Its the education community that angers me. I

" educate them witht he stats and figures and facts, usually getting a

condescending

attidue. Once it was actually said that I was an ignorant non

professional....My mama bear personna takes over almost automatically now.

BTW, for those who responded to my inquiry about the latest gym teacher, a

bit of good news. We have a meeting Monday morning to discuss and implement

an appropriate PE plan. In thsi case it truly was a fist experience with

skeletal dysplasi and its ramifications and she is at thsi point being open to

our kid's differences.

Apryl

[Guest guest]

That is sooo right. No one beats Dr. Mom. ;-)

Helen

In a message dated 10/14/04 12:27:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

eeladnil@... writes:

> Remember, your 'MOM' beats ANY MD, M. Ed., D Ed., etc...

>

>