Re: My boyfriend wants to help

[Guest guest]

Just a response to you Deb. I'm confused as to why

you are asking all of us a question that is just for

you.

How would we know what you would need in order to take

care of yourself? Besides the obvious, a few

step-stools.

Does he feel you are incapable of taking care of

yourself and/or your daughter when he is not around?

Has he always been like this?

Overprotective/Fatherly?

There are some average height individuals that feel

the need to " take care of us " in relationships. My

advice is, if he is one of these types of individuals,

tell him to lay-off, you were capable of taking care

of yourself before him and, if necessary, will take

care of yourself AFTER him.

Best of luck to you,

--- Deb <dkh2001@...> wrote:

> hi all

>

> its me again hehe, i was more like wondering what

> can i do to tell him

> ideas on what he can do to help me when it comes to

> doing laundry on

> my own and cooking with ovens stuff like that. Hes

> getting all worked

> up and we arent even married yet... We've talked

> about marriage and

> hes already trying to think of things on what he can

> do around the

> house that would be able to let me do things on my

> own whiles hes away

> at work and i'm at home with my daughter(my

> daughters not really his)

> he loves my daughter like shes his which is great.

>

>

>

> thanks again

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

My husband is average height and I have dwarfism. I am 3'8 and 25

years old and quite independent. For the past 5 1/2 years I've been

out on my own and have lived alone for 4 1/2 years. During the time

I've been alone I've taken care of myself. I have all the

accommodations I need in my home.

My husband had moved in and the step stools do not bother him. He

works around them like its second nature for him. He makes sure

things are put away where I placed them for access. Some items could

be placed up high and if I cannot reach it, I ask and he does it.

Sometimes he says " Get it yourself " , and forgets that I cannot reach

it. We find it humorous.

We work very well together. He cooks, I do the dishes. We take turns

driving my car (I have extension pedals on my car and he works

around them) and do chores together. He does not take over for me.

He waits until I ask for help. Sometimes when he knows I'm

struggling with something, he gets annoyed that I just didn't ask

for help. He does not take over, but he will ask if I need

assistance.

It's not a big deal. He knows how I am and I know how he is. We have

a give and take relationship and he helps me and there are things I

help him with. For instance, I do the budgeting...No male in his

family should touch the budgeting. He helps with the chores around

the house and we both have things we do independently. But the

important thing is that it gets done and he and I spilt the chores

according to our abilities and preferences.

I loved it how he would come over to my place while we were dating

and everything in my life just became second nature to him. His

mother uses a wheelchair so disability issues and barriers were

already in his life. He was never uncomfortable about my dwarfism

and accommodations I need in my life. He gets very upset if someone

makes fun of me and he is protective in that aspect because he sees

me like any other person.

We are both independent and stubborn and sometimes we have to remind

each other that it's ok to ask for help and it's ok to do things on

our own.

He knows I've been independent and taken care of myself for so long

that I do not need to be taken care of, unless I have surgery, but

that applies to him also. He has a few disabilities himself such as

Heart Condition and Scoliosis.

If you need some tips or suggestions, feel free to ask!

a

>

> > hi all

> >

> > its me again hehe, i was more like wondering what

> > can i do to tell him

> > ideas on what he can do to help me when it comes to

> > doing laundry on

> > my own and cooking with ovens stuff like that. Hes

> > getting all worked

> > up and we arent even married yet... We've talked

> > about marriage and

> > hes already trying to think of things on what he can

> > do around the

> > house that would be able to let me do things on my

> > own whiles hes away

> > at work and i'm at home with my daughter(my

> > daughters not really his)

> > he loves my daughter like shes his which is great.

> >

> >

> >

> > thanks again

> >

> > Debbie

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

> DSL – Something to write home about.

> Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> dsl.

>