just need some advice

[Guest guest]

My name is . I am not a dwarf, but my boyfriend is. I just

want to know if any of you have been put in a similar position as us,

how did you deal with the critisim from peers. I'm 18 and he is 20.

We have no problem with us being together, others do. Usually I

would just blow this kind of thing off, but lately the teasing has

been getting worse. I've always been the popular one. I think some

people only talk to him because they think he looks funny. Actually

I know that's why. They have told me this. I just need to know what

to tell people when they say we should not be together.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/19/03 3:42:53 PM Eastern Standard Time,

medavis@... writes:

> I guess I really can't suggest a good comeback for the mean people. I would

> just ask myself " why do they do this? Are they jealous, stupid, insecure

> or mean? " I'd bet money that all of the people who give you a hard time

> possess one or more of these traits. Then all you can do is feel sorry for

> them and if you can do that, what they say can't bother you anymore, they

> have bigger problems than you'll EVER have.

>

>

I agree with Marty (the female one's comment) and to me it pertains to not

just that but to when people are rude to one another.

Helen

[Guest guest]

People are mean for one of four reasons 1) They're jealous, 2) They're stupid,

3) They're insecure or 4) They're just mean.

My husband and I have happily been together for 15 years (I'm 3'8 " and he's 6

feet tall) and only once has anyone dared to say that we shouldn't be together

(and they didn't say it to our face, they said it to his mother) everyone else

is smart enough to look at WHO we are and say " you guys are so PERFECT for each

other! "

I guess I really can't suggest a good comeback for the mean people. I would

just ask myself " why do they do this? Are they jealous, stupid, insecure or

mean? " I'd bet money that all of the people who give you a hard time possess

one or more of these traits. Then all you can do is feel sorry for them and if

you can do that, what they say can't bother you anymore, they have bigger

problems than you'll EVER have.

Good luck!

-marty (the lady one)

>>> " " <princess_tania@...> 03/18/03 05:17PM >>>

My name is . I am not a dwarf, but my boyfriend is. I just

want to know if any of you have been put in a similar position as us,

how did you deal with the critisim from peers. I'm 18 and he is 20.

We have no problem with us being together, others do. Usually I

would just blow this kind of thing off, but lately the teasing has

been getting worse. I've always been the popular one. I think some

people only talk to him because they think he looks funny. Actually

I know that's why. They have told me this. I just need to know what

to tell people when they say we should not be together.

===

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 18 Mar 2003, wrote:

> I've always been the popular one. I think some people only talk to him

> because they think he looks funny. Actually I know that's why. They

> have told me this. I just need to know what to tell people when they

> say we should not be together.

You ask them " do you want to be my friend " ? When they say " yes " , you reply

" then don't ever say anything like that to me, ever again. "

The people who tell you they 'only talk to him because he looks funny' are

not worthy of your friendship. They are idiots and losers. I don't care

how popular they are, or how good-looking they are -- they were either

brought up in a f*cked-up household, or they have mental problems

(stupidity being the most likely one). If your boyfriend is a good, solid

man and a good friend (that is, beautiful on the inside), you should not

let anyone else interfere with your relationship.

There is a term called " toxic people " . The kind of people who would say

those things to you are toxic people. Their words and attitudes towards

you are " toxic " to your own emotional well-being. If these toxic people

are people you care about (i.e. family members) then you need to sit down

and talk with them, and tell them how their words and attitudes hurt you

(and others). If they are not people you care about, you need to dump

them like the garbage that they are.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Dave

[Guest guest]

,

I myself am a 42 yr old LP woman who has dated AP men more so than

dated LP men. Not because I did not want to date LPs, but LP men my

age at the time were scarce and I was not that active in LPA.

I dated one man for about 6 months, I was 21 he was 18. The last

relationship which ended a while ago we were together 16 yrs.

As far as peer pressure, I did not get that, nor pressure from his or

my family.

I'd say do not let others dictate your feelings. If you both are

comfortable and happy, then go from there.

Good Luck!

Dawn

In dwarfism , " " <princess_tania@h...> wrote:

My name is . I am not a dwarf, but my boyfriend is. I just

want to know if any of you have been put in a similar position as us,

how did you deal with the critisim from peers. I'm 18 and he is 20.

We have no problem with us being together, others do. Usually I

would just blow this kind of thing off, but lately the teasing has

been getting worse. I've always been the popular one. I think some

people only talk to him because they think he looks funny. Actually

I know that's why. They have told me this. I just need to know what

to tell people when they say we should not be together.

[Guest guest]

>In dwarfism , " " <princess_tania@h...> wrote:

>My name is . I am not a dwarf, but my boyfriend is. I just

>want to know if any of you have been put in a similar position as us,

>how did you deal with the critisim from peers. I'm 18 and he is 20.

>We have no problem with us being together, others do. Usually I

>would just blow this kind of thing off, but lately the teasing has

>been getting worse. I've always been the popular one. I think some

>people only talk to him because they think he looks funny. Actually

>I know that's why. They have told me this. I just need to know what

>to tell people when they say we should not be together.

>

You know I've faced this on both sides..... (believe it or not LP's

can be very vocal about other LP's dating average size folks!)

My husband, is average height and when we starting dating

people sort of wondered 'why'? But, there is no accounting for who

you fall in love with.

, you seemed to be someone who takes the high road and sees

beyond the physical and into the personal. When and I started

dating his friends thought it was quite platonic because we were

hanging around a group of about 12 people and we all chummed

together. is actually quite shy and I was just starting to

bloom socially. I was getting comfortable being who I was not just

as someone who is a dwarf, but someone who was of value. It was a

shaky start, because I never knew of would buckle to some of

the social pressures of .... the stares, the questions, the ignorance

of people. But, he didn't. Up until the day of our wedding I sort

of sat in wonder why someone would shoulder this kind of situation.

It wasn't (in my case and I think that I am unusual) just the dating,

it was the 'forever' stuff that had to do with my physical issues. I

am sure that there are some who still wonder why, but mostly people

see us together, after 26 years and still see laughter, love and

compassion for each other and they just sort of smile and often times

wish they had that too! I believe that we are intended to be with

what I call a soul mate. No course under heaven will stop this

couple from being together. I see and say to him " God must

really love me, because he gave me you " and that is true.

He is special. , you might be too.

People are often uncomfortable at first, and I think that is natural.

If they have never faced a similar situation, some people just don't

know how to react. So when they say they talked to your boyfriend

because of the way he looks, that is probably an honest assessment of

their immediate feelings. But, you know, why does anyone go up to

someone to talk to them? It takes " something " to do it. Being

honest about why someone approaches someone else isn't necessarily

wrong...it's what the results from the encounter that are the real

truth in the relationship.

Best thing I can offer is give it time, be brave and if this person

is someone who is really important to you, you need to tell your

friends that. Because they don't understand your relationship,

doesn't give them the right to put their prejudices and fears upon

you. Now, if it's your parents wondering about children, etc. ...

that is a valid concern and maturity (even when people are not acting

mature) on your part will go a long way.

Chris' parents were quite shocked when they met me (we were about 20)

the first time, but was 'steady as you go' about the

relationship and they had to either accept his love for me, or they

would have lost their son. That was something that came within the

deepest part of Chris... HE CHOSE ME OVER ALL, and that I have to

say, is not just brave but honorable. Being a back biting " friend "

is not.

they are not honoring you, nor are they respecting you. It's

just not, how they feel about your boyfriend that is involved, it is

also how they are treating you during this time.

The teasing will get worse before it will get better. It's sort of

sick, weird and frustrating. Chris' absolute best friend did all he

could to separate us and I cannot even get into that, it still

disgusts me so. So much so that distanced himself away. It's

like the last big effort to push...... For us it could of gone

either way.... Either your dictated by your heart, or by social

pressures. One is easier, but ultimately you do things not for

yourself, but for the pressure of others. The other is something

that takes, as I said before, honor, maturity and in some cases

bravery. You make these choices for yourself, and have to live with

them. They will be a refection of who you want to be, not just now,

but in the future.

What I can say is only YOU can decide if you belong together, no one else.

--

·-.¸.-··...(`'·.¸(`'·.¸¸.·'´)¸.·'´)...··-.¸.-··.

`·..·´«´¨`·. Ginny Sargent..·´¨`»·`·. .·`'·.¸)`'·.¸)`·´

`·´(¸.·'´(¸.·'´`'·.¸)`'·.¸)`·´

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Here’s a copy of a letter I just posted on the AdultLP list. I’ve

deleted sections that might not apply.

I’m the AP in our relationship. You’re a little younger than I but

you’ve aged well in one respect already; you’ve learned that a person’s

character is of more importance than mere size or shape. This is

something your peers (I didn’t say friends because some don’t seem to

be) have not all come to grips with yet.

I see advice here that is kinder and gentler than I would give, I

wouldn’t give them another chance. My advice is to give those empty

headed morons with the rude comments a pass for now and concentrate on

those of your friends that “get it.” Those are the friends that count,

not just in regards to the unique relationship you have with your

boyfriend, but in many important unrelated ways simply because they lack

superficiality, are probably more direct and honest and have a better

understanding of themselves and how they relate to the real world. The

others may, after a few years, have an epiphany of some kind and come to

you with the earnest offer of a better friendship and may have a clearer

understanding of your situation, or not. If not, you didn’t need the

bastards around wasting your time anyway.

I’ve lost no friends over the relationship I have with my wife. There

are a very few people who haven’t called in a very long time but I never

called them friends anyway so I don’t miss them and I don’t have to deal

with them anymore. That frees up my time so I can take more naps, play

more chess and spend more time with my honey.

If you always remember you’re both on the same team and share open

communications you’ll always have a great relationship and some of these

“popular” people may end up jealous of your relationship.

Marty

“Rose asked me to comment on this topic to give an AP point of view

but, to be quite frank, I haven’t kept up to date on this string because

I figured, being married and being an AP, it was none of my business.

So I checked with lee to see what topics have been covered. She

said one question referred to the possibility of kinky AP guys seeking

out women of short stature.

In “Maybe the Moon” there is a paragraph in which the dwarf woman and

main character ruminates about sex. She says that sex with a dwarf is by

definition “kinky sex” and therefore anytime she has sex it is

necessarily, by definition, “kinky sex.” Following that logic anyone

averaged sized whose spouse or partner is a little person engages in the

kinky frequently unless they are also celibate but I think that’s

another kink in it’s self.

But to take my tongue out of my cheek for a moment, I do think there are

guys out there that are only looking for a very short woman, regardless

of all other attributes, and that some of those men may be very

dangerous. Most are probably quite harmless and no more dangerous than

the fellow that swears he’s only interested in blondes. When they meet

the right person, if they keep an open mind and heart, all the specs go

out the window.

The “kinkiness” of our marriage is only in the minds of those

individuals who are unable to accept the concept that the package is

less important than what that package holds. lee and I are on the

same team and we work to one another’s benefit. I pity people who can’t

or don’t understand that because as a relationship ages physical

appearances dissolve until one sees only the qualities or faults of

their mates. For this reason lee, who is already very pretty, just

gets prettier to me by the day. But these other people that operate only

on the Hollywood version of beauty? What a crap shoot that is. So it

doesn’t bother me if some people think I’m “kinky” or “really weird” and

I know some do, they simply haven’t developed enough to know the truth

yet.

Rose asked how lee and I met. We met on the internet at a time when

my interest was in women ran towards 5’10” or taller with black or red

hair. Seriously. We didn’t have any kind of internet relationship but we

got to know each other well enough through e-mails to learn that we had

some very basic common interests like the theater and that we shared

some basic values like loyalty. When I saw her on stage (she was the

first little person I had ever met) and saw the total stage presence she

maintained I understood that she was a dynamic person whom should be

taken quite seriously and our relationship developed from there. As

relationship moved on a bit I could have said, “She doesn’t fit the mold

I had in mind,” and walked away but by then I understood that the

version of my perfect mate had improved and now included her.

Rose asked about comments I get.

A gentleman I work with is a real man’s man. He’s a helicopter pilot, a

fixed wing pilot, a paratrooper, a scuba diver, a mountain climber, a

Vietnam vet, he says he knows everyone and actually does know everyone

he claims to. He’s also a bit of a womanizer behind his mate’s back. For

that I don’t admire him but it’s relevant. About two years after we had

known each other he asked why I was married to lee. I told him

about her personality, about the closeness we share and about the team

thing. He thought a bit and said that he had been afraid it was about

the height thing. Then he said, “I wish I had, once in my life, a

relationship like that. I’m jealous of you.” If were a real friend I

should have told him to be honest to his mate of 22 years. I might yet.

He’s never brought the subject up again.

I have another friend, Marie whom I’ve known for years, who’s a bit more

direct. “What are you thinking?!” But then you have to understand that

Marie is French so she can tend to be opinionated about everything. She

came around in the end.

Marty”

[Guest guest]

Hello Ann,

Don't expect your doctors to tell you that you might be suffering

from the side effects of your drugs because if they are anything like

the US doctors, they are brainwashed by the drug companies who tell

them that the drugs have minimum side effects.

What kind of vitamin supplements are you on?

Do you take magnesium? Vitamin C? Vitamin E? Omega fish oil? Coq10?

Vitamin B Complex? These are the supplements that can help your heart

palpatations and maybe your HBP....

phine

>

> Hi,

>

> My name is Ann I am from IReland, l have been getting

palpitation

> on and off now for about three months, I am 37, have been on

Aldomet

> for bp for the last 8 years.

>

> Last weekend my heart started beating at 150 bpm, I ended up

going

> to hospital cause I got a fright, when I got to hospital my heart

> beat was 125 bpm and I had palpitation, they said my tracing was

> fine and my blood results were ok, I am now on caridicor 2.5 mgs

and

> feel pretty sick some days on it, breathless and muscle pains.

>

> Can anyone help me understand what is happening to me.

>

> Thanks,

>

> Ann

>

[Guest guest]

Ann:My unfortunate journey that led to Lipitor (and other meds, all of which I'm now off) began about 3 months ago with a series of panic attacks that came out of the blue.The symptoms you disclosed look similar to what I had -- except your pulse (at 150 bpm) was higher than mine. But as long as your heart checks out fine, you may very well have suffered (and continue to suffer) panic and/or anxiety attacks.fortviewlodge <fortviewlodge@...> wrote: Hi, My name is Ann I am from IReland, l have been getting

palpitation on and off now for about three months, I am 37, have been on Aldomet for bp for the last 8 years. Last weekend my heart started beating at 150 bpm, I ended up going to hospital cause I got a fright, when I got to hospital my heart beat was 125 bpm and I had palpitation, they said my tracing was fine and my blood results were ok, I am now on caridicor 2.5 mgs and feel pretty sick some days on it, breathless and muscle pains. Can anyone help me understand what is happening to me. Thanks, Ann

Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with FareChase.

[Guest guest]

Hi phine,

Many thanks for your response, I am not taking any vitamin

supplements, should I, can you advise which ones you think are good.

The only thing I have fitted is the Merina Coil which I think could

be some of my problem, since I started taking the Cardicor Beta

Blocker I feel terrible, muscle pains, pains in my neck, coldness and

the list goes on, I feel really slowed down, I have lost 25 pounds so

I taught that I would be feeling much better I and disappointed that Im not.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Ann

At 23:02 23/09/2007, you wrote:

>Hello Ann,

>Don't expect your doctors to tell you that you might be suffering

>from the side effects of your drugs because if they are anything like

>the US doctors, they are brainwashed by the drug companies who tell

>them that the drugs have minimum side effects.

>What kind of vitamin supplements are you on?

>Do you take magnesium? Vitamin C? Vitamin E? Omega fish oil? Coq10?

>Vitamin B Complex? These are the supplements that can help your heart

>palpatations and maybe your HBP....

>phine

>

>

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > My name is Ann I am from IReland, l have been getting

>palpitation

> > on and off now for about three months, I am 37, have been on

>Aldomet

> > for bp for the last 8 years.

> >

> > Last weekend my heart started beating at 150 bpm, I ended up

>going

> > to hospital cause I got a fright, when I got to hospital my heart

> > beat was 125 bpm and I had palpitation, they said my tracing was

> > fine and my blood results were ok, I am now on caridicor 2.5 mgs

>and

> > feel pretty sick some days on it, breathless and muscle pains.

> >

> > Can anyone help me understand what is happening to me.

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Ann

> >

>

>

>Internal Virus Database is out-of-date.

>Checked by AVG Free Edition.

>Version: 7.5.428 / Virus Database: 268.13.4/478 - Release Date:

>10/17/2006 10:45

[Guest guest]

fortviewlodge wrote:

>

>

> Hi,

>

> My name is Ann I am from IReland, l have been getting palpitation

> on and off now for about three months, I am 37, have been on Aldomet

> for bp for the last 8 years.

>

> Last weekend my heart started beating at 150 bpm, I ended up going

> to hospital cause I got a fright, when I got to hospital my heart

> beat was 125 bpm and I had palpitation, they said my tracing was

> fine and my blood results were ok, I am now on caridicor 2.5 mgs and

> feel pretty sick some days on it, breathless and muscle pains.

>

> Can anyone help me understand what is happening to me.

>

> Thanks,

>

> Ann

I have two recommendations. I get both palpations on occasion and increased

heart rate. The palpations were caused by cholesterol lowering drugs for the

most part but magnesium supplements was the solution for most people who get

palpations on the peoplewithPVCs list. CoQ10 also helped.

As to a raising heart rate, I found that I was low on potassium even though my

blood work usually shows low normal. I take 3000 mg/day of potassium but that

is considered a lot even thought the max RDA is about 20,000 mg. I know that I

get about 3000 mg/day from food and the RDA is 4700 mg/day.

--

Steve - dudescholar4@...

Take World's Smallest Political Quiz at

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

" If a thousand old beliefs were ruined on our march

to truth we must still march on. " --Stopford

[Guest guest]

Ann,

If you are in fact suffering from panic attacks it could be related to

hormones. I began suffering from panic attacks 10 years ago as I was

going through menopause. The problem was that no doctor could figure it

out so I suffered with it for several years until I found a book in

Borders written by Dr. Lee (he died a few years ago) that spoke

about taking progesterone cream. After about 3 months on the cream, my

panic attacks dramatically decreased and now I don't suffer from them

much even though I don't apply the cream regularly like before.

Something to think about. But as far as palpatations go,Coq10, fish

oil, vitamin e all help.But don't expect your drugs to make you feel

better in the longrun because they won't due to too many bad side

effects that the doctors don't tell you about.

phine

>

> Looking back on it I think it was a panic attach maybe, I find now

> that I worry all the time about it and that does not help, Im afraid

> I might get another one, I still get the palpitations mostly at night

> when I go to bed.

>

> Thanks for help..

>

> Ann