Re: Dumping on the THR recipient

[Guest guest]

In my opinion, I say drop that "friend" like a hot potato. I have found that people who treat other people cruel, even in a joking manner, over physical limitations do have their own hangups. If they don’t' respond to your honest requests to stop, then you should not waste your energies on that person. If anyone tried to grab my cane I would whack them with it!

I too have CHD and was hurtfully teased in elementary school, also called "cripple," mainly by a little girl who was a burn victim. She certainly had her issues. But I was bold enough to dish it back. Needless to say we never became friends. Now when people I don't know very well, or even strangers say, "You are limping. What happened? What did you do?" I usually tell them that I had a skateboarding accident. (Skateboarding and surfing are things I always wanted to be good at, but could never get the hang of because of my balance and alignment issues.) Many people can handle hearing about something you will recover from or they can relate to, but get uncomfortable or ask really stupid questions when I fess up to the real problem.

I don't have any advice with your Dad. That has got to be painful. Stick up for yourself. Everyone deserves respect.

I'm curious about your THR. Did you require any bone graphs? Did you have a longer than usual non-weight bearing recovery time? Are you still having trouble after the surgery? I'm in the process of educating myself on the procedure. My last doc said I would most likely be ready for my first THR within 5 years. I'm 41.

When I get to feeling down about having CHD and all that goes with it I try to remind myself that the underlying condition is not terminal. This is a great place to vent. Hope you get some more feedback and support here. -B

Dumping on the THR recipient

I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have a "friend" who denies that I have any physical problems ("It's all in your head," etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a total mess! Aside from denying that I have any "real" physical problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems), used to taunt me with cries of "Cripple! Cripple!", even though I neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a relative. Aagh!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi there, Get rid of the "friend" now. He's no good. I hate it when people treat others like that. I have had times when I've had to "suck it up," but I've never been treated like that. There's no excuse for that kind of crap. I'm sure you're stronger for it and you'll be fine. Don't let the moron bring you down. I get stares a lot at the stores because I have handicapped parking privileges. I'm 47 but have had TKR and I do have back problems, asthma, and diabetes. Some days I get winded just walking through my apartment. I wish it was all in my head, believe me. You go on and do what you must to take care of yourself and don't let this knothead bring you down. Take care, Albeit Widely <jdjp6@...> wrote: I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I

have a "friend" who denies that I have any physical problems ("It's all in your head," etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a total mess! Aside from denying that I have any "real" physical problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems), used to taunt me with cries of "Cripple! Cripple!", even though I neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when I was 45. I think that my

father's vanity was hurt by having an imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a relative. Aagh!!! God bless you!

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[Guest guest]

Hi Albeit,

I know what it like to have someone tell you that your pain is in your Head My Sister and my daughter and Son use to say that well I had a spine x-ray and found out I have bad Arthritis in my spine and my back I also have it in my feet and I have a hard time walking and walk real slow and have to be causeful how I get up and down from a chair. I still have to use a cane I had my right hip replacement done five years ago six years in April and that didn't turn out right I have bad scar tissues and buritis on my fake hip which is where I feel the pain I had my right knee down four years ago I can bend it ok but because of my hip and my knee my leg feels numb I need my left knee done but won't do it because of my right side. My son brought me a walker on wheels and it has a seat where after walking and you get tired you can sit and rest I think that is so neat . Its a really pretty blue .The think that helps me the most is I have this saying is Trust In The Lord and Take One Day at a time. My family treats me better since they found out I have Arthritis in my Spine .

Well I hope things work out for you ,Try and have a nice day.

Susie

--Love, Susie

-------------- Original message -------------- From: "Albeit Widely" <jdjp6@...> I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have a "friend" who denies that I have any physical problems ("It's all in your head," etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a total mess! Aside from denying that I have any "real" physical problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems), used to taunt me with cries of "Cripple! Cripple!", even though I neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a relative. Aagh!!!

[Guest guest]

Albeit what I usually say that shuts up the "it's all in your head people" is merely~ I know my body better then any other and I know what I'm feeling is real, it's not in my head... it's a bad body~ my only response to you is... I hope that when it comes to you having an illness issue your dealing with in the future.... you too find as much support & understanding in your friends & family members when mentioning it. Not that I'm wishing you no one for you to lean upon in your time of need.... only that the lesson serves to teach you just how it feels so that you don't do it to another in the future. Has worked on many occasion for me... and you'd be surprized at how many actually apologize after they think about it for awhile.

As Susie... I too had non believers... only was a boss that didn't believe me~ he just thought I wanted the week off to run around. I took my x~rays in after the doctors appointment and told him they were insisting on THR due to the damage in my leg I needed off and didn't honestly know when I'd be returning at that point... he still had to physically see it to believe it~ my my how amazed he was after viewing the x~ray and then went into the "is there anything I can do to help~ I had NO IDEA" mode.

Don't let them get on your nerve about it all~ you know the truth of the matter and that's what matters most. Best of luck to ya and well walking~

[Guest guest]

Did yoiuo use the word " friend " ?? Nix this person ASAP!!

Judy

From: Albeit Widely [mailto: jdjp6@...]

Joint Replacement

Date: Sat, 14 Jan 2006 13:54:16 -0000

Subject: Dumping on the THR recipient

I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have

a " friend " who denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's all in

your head, " etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would

not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a

total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real " physical

problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane,

and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend,

and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with

him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia,

and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most

physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-

climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems),

used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " , even though I

neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when

I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an

imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I

simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not

even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just

don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening

to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to

hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had

this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the

frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a

relative. Aagh!!!

[Guest guest]

LOL 2 funny

[Guest guest]

OMG 2 funny .... thanks for the laughs 2day!!!! Had many over your comments~

[Guest guest]

I suggest you hit him over the head with your cane.

RC2K 48/54 Dr. Gross 3/24/04

>

> I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have

> a " friend " who denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's all in

> your head, " etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would

> not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a

> total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real " physical

> problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane,

> and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend,

> and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with

> him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia,

> and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most

> physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-

> climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems),

> used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " , even though I

> neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when

> I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an

> imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I

> simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not

> even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just

> don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening

> to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to

> hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had

> this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the

> frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a

> relative. Aagh!!!

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> > I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have

> > a " friend " who denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's all in

> > your head, " etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would

> > not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a

> > total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real " physical

> > problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane,

> > and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend,

> > and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with

> > him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia,

> > and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most

> > physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-

> > climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems),

> > used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " , even though I

> > neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when

> > I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an

> > imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I

> > simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not

> > even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just

> > don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening

> > to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to

> > hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had

> > this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the

> > frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a

> > relative. Aagh!!!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Look people like that do things in that manner to bring themselves up. For

some ODD reason it makes them feel REAL good putting others down. Your right

to stop speaking or dealing with him, it's not worth the stress. I too have

gone through that crap growing up, it ranged from name calling to physical

attacks. It did however make me stronger, all because one day I did fight

back and it stopped. Not saying you go beat the crap out of him, just don't

speak to the man or anyone else for that matter that can be as cruel. I had

my hips both done in one year going on 3 years ago. I still have a very

slight limp and it does get noticed, but the difference now is I don't get

people making jest at my expense. I am I guess kind of young for it I had

mine both done at 28 do to HD. It gave me more self esteem as well heh.

Sometimes to my fault. And you know what I bet you're a GREAT person, so as

we say " Don't sweat the small stuff " As for your father, that one I don't

really get, other then what you had stated. You shouldn't have to bare being

abused over it! So vent away!

Tiffinee

Message: 1

Date: Sat, 14 Jan 2006 13:53:41 -0000

From: " Albeit Widely " <jdjp6@...>

Subject: Dumping on the THR recipient

I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have a " friend " who

denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's all in your head, " etc.),

despite the fact that the doctors certainly would not have given me a THR

before the age of 50 unless my hip was a

total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real " physical

problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, and

mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, and I have

had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with him. I may also add

that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, and although my case was

relatively mild, and I spent the most physically active and happy childhood

possible (boy, was I a tree- climber!), my father (let's not go there; he

had his own problems), used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " ,

even though I neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years

ago, when I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an

imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I simply

cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not even asking

for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just

don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening

to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to hear

stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had this kind of

experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the frienship, but it's

not always possible to simply turn off a relative. Aagh!!!

[Guest guest]

Thats way I take one day at a time . I hope things get better for you and have a nice day >>> Me 2 Susie... things will be just as they are meant to be... regardless of what is or isn't... I make the most of it and keep on trucking

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

That is the best thing I heard yet but what if hes a lot bigger she have to be careful how she hits him in the head LOL LOL

Susie

-------------- Original message -------------- From: "ecm56" <ecm56@...> > >> > I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have > > a "friend" who denies that I have any physical problems ("It's all in > > your head," etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would > > not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a > > total mess! Aside from denying that I have any "real" physical > > problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, > > and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, > > and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with > > him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, > > and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most > > physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-> > climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems), > > used to taunt me with cries of "Cripple! Cripple!", even though I > > neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when > > I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an > > imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I > > simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not > > even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just > > don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening > > to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to > > hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had > > this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the > > frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a > > relative. Aagh!!!> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sassy Lou,

Your are right I try not to let it bother me but its hard sometimes .Thats way I take one day at a time . I hope things get better for you and have a nice day.

Susie

-------------- Original message -------------- From: SassyLouYou@... Albeit what I usually say that shuts up the "it's all in your head people" is merely~ I know my body better then any other and I know what I'm feeling is real, it's not in my head... it's a bad body~ my only response to you is... I hope that when it comes to you having an illness issue your dealing with in the future.... you too find as much support & understanding in your friends & family members when mentioning it. Not that I'm wishing you no one for you to lean upon in your time of need.... only that the lesson serves to teach you just how it feels so that you don't do it to another in the future. Has worked on many occasion for me... and you'd be surprized at how many actually apologize after they think about it for awhile. As Susie... I too had non believers... only was a boss that didn't believe me~ he just thought I wanted the week off to run around. I took my x~rays in after the doctors appointment and told him they were insisting on THR due to the damage in my leg I needed off and didn't honestly know when I'd be returning at that point... he still had to physically see it to believe it~ my my how amazed he was after viewing the x~ray and then went into the "is there anything I can do to help~ I had NO IDEA" mode. Don't let them get on your nerve about it all~ you know the truth of the matter and that's what matters most. Best of luck to ya and well walking~

[Guest guest]

>

> I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have

> a " friend " who denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's all

in

> your head, " etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly

would

> not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a

> total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real " physical

> problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my

cane,

> and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true

friend,

> and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with

> him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip

dysplasia,

> and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most

> physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-

> climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own

problems),

> used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " , even though I

> neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago,

when

> I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an

> imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain

why I

> simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am

not

> even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I

just

> don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for

listening

> to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want

to

> hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have

had

> this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the

> frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a

> relative. Aagh!!!

>

Cases like this give new meaning to the expression, " Lord, save me

from my friends-- I'll deal with my enemies on my own! "

In my own case, it was not a " friend " , but my wife, who was

convinced that I was " faking it " out of a desire to stop working.

Until I changed orthopedists and found one who actually sent me for

x-rays before telling me to " lose weight and everything will be

okay " , she was convinced of this. It's now almost 3 years since my

first replacement (I'm a " bilateral " -- L & R THR), and there have

still been no apologies and no attempts to repair the damage done to

our relationship.

Unfortunately, it's often only in crisis that we find out who our

frineds are, and who those who truly care for us are.

No, you're not alone-- even " iron men " , who get up from sickbeds to

go to work, and make light of physical illnesses have gone through

this kind of treatment. Believe me, you're better off without this

kind of " friend " . I wish my decision were as simple.

Once I finished rehab on the second hip, it was impossible to find

work, since I'm past the " age of employability " (in other words,

over 40), so I had to find an alternative profession, one that I

could work at as a freelancer from home. Luckily, I was able to do

so.

Like does not end with a THR or two, but you will find there are

things you can't do any more-- like spend 10-12 hours per day on a

factory production floor as the production manager.

While I can't ride a bike or walk the distances I used to, it's

great to be more or less fully functional again, and I've been lucky

enough to have a new life without the agony of an unreplaced hip.

" Friends " like the one you describe can only be either a hindrance

to rehab or a spur to getting back to functionality-- if only to

kick their aXX!

[Guest guest]

Ha ha ha, best laugh I've had in weeks. Although after I get through

with bashing his head with my cane, I probably won't be able to tell

him it's " all in HIS head, " since the head will no longer exist.

Seriously, however...I would never wilfully hurt another human

being. In case I didn't mention this in former postings, he is an

alcoholic, and his excuse for his cruelty has always been, " Oh, gosh,

I said that? But I was drunk at the time, and it was not my

responsibity. " Enough said on that one.

But life has to go on, and I'm more or less over this hurt, though it

wasted a week of my life. I have communicated the issues I have with

him, and we will see what happens (no response yet). I wish it

weren't so, but I suspect that my hip implant will be healthy and

functioning long after he has drunk himself to death (I've had two

friends do it, it's a nasty way to die, and he is following their

pattern). Since he denies his alcohol problem, there is nothing I

can do, since we're all living serially in different countries,

Japan, the U.S., London, and Wales.

But still -- thanks for the laugh. I just want to get this behind me.

In Joint Replacement , " ecm56 " <ecm56@y...>

wrote:

>

>

> > >

> > > I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have

> > > a " friend " who denies that I have any physical problems ( " It's

all in

> > > your head, " etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly

would

> > > not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was

a

> > > total mess! Aside from denying that I have any " real "

physical

> > > problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my

cane,

> > > and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true

friend,

> > > and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties

with

> > > him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip

dysplasia,

> > > and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most

> > > physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a

tree-

> > > climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own

problems),

> > > used to taunt me with cries of " Cripple! Cripple! " , even

though I

> > > neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago,

when

> > > I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having

an

> > > imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain

why I

> > > simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I

am not

> > > even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I

just

> > > don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for

listening

> > > to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't

want to

> > > hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have

had

> > > this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end

the

> > > frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a

> > > relative. I may add that my father is now dead, so I would

like to forgive him for abuse, and JUST MOVE ON!!! Aagh!!!

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Mike,

I'm sorry to hear that you wife was like that ,I had the same thing with my Sister and my Kids because after my Hip and Knee replacements on my right side didn't work I still have to use a cane I need my left knee done but won't do it.I also had a x-ray on my Spine and have bad Arthritis and thats way I don't walk that good I walk slow . I always said that people that have these operations are better to heal if they have a Husband or wife with them .I'm by myself .

Well you have a nice day.

Susie

Well you take care and have a nice day.

-------------- Original message -------------- From: " on" <mdavison@...> >> I wish to ask if anyone else has had this experience. I have > a "friend" who denies that I have any physical problems ("It's all in > your head," etc.), despite the fact that the doctors certainly would > not have given me a THR before the age of 50 unless my hip was a > total mess! Aside from denying that I have any "real" physical > problems, he also makes fun of my pain and my limp, grabbing my cane, > and mimicking the way I walk. Obviously, this is not a true friend, > and I have had to make the difficult decision to cut my ties with > him. I may also add that I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, > and although my case was relatively mild, and I spent the most > physically active and happy childhood possible (boy, was I a tree-> climber!), my father (let's not go there; he had his own problems), > used to taunt me with cries of "Cripple! Cripple!", even though I > neither limped nor had mobility problems until three years ago, when > I was 45. I think that my father's vanity was hurt by having an > imperfect child. This does not excuse him, but it does explain why I > simply cannot bear being abused for a physical disability. I am not > even asking for sympathy for the pain and mobility problems; I just > don't want to be cruelly treated. Anyway, thank you for listening > to my vent, and I am eager to hear (well, not really, I don't want to > hear stories of other people's emotional pain!), if others have had > this kind of experience. In the case of a friend, you can end the > frienship, but it's not always possible to simply turn off a > relative. Aagh!!!>Cases like this give new meaning to the expression, "Lord, save me from my friends-- I'll deal with my enemies on my own!"In my own case, it was not a "friend", but my wife, who was convinced that I was "faking it" out of a desire to stop working. Until I changed orthopedists and found one who actually sent me for x-rays before telling me to "lose weight and everything will be okay", she was convinced of this. It's now almost 3 years since my first replacement (I'm a "bilateral"-- L & R THR), and there have still been no apologies and no attempts to repair the damage done to our relationship.Unfortunately, it's often only in crisis that we find out who our frineds are, and who those who truly care for us are.No, you're not alone-- even "iron men", who get up from sickbeds to go to work, and make light of physical illnesses have gone through this kind of treatment. Believe me, you're better off without this kind of "friend". I wish my decision were as simple.Once I finished rehab on the second hip, it was impossible to find work, since I'm past the "age of employability" (in other words, over 40), so I had to find an alternative profession, one that I could work at as a freelancer from home. Luckily, I was able to do so.Like does not end with a THR or two, but you will find there are things you can't do any more-- like spend 10-12 hours per day on a factory production floor as the production manager.While I can't ride a bike or walk the distances I used to, it's great to be more or less fully functional again, and I've been lucky enough to have a new life without the agony of an unreplaced hip."Friends" like the one you describe can only be either a hindrance to rehab or a spur to getting back to functionality-- if only to kick their aXX!

[Guest guest]

"Oh, gosh, I said that? But I was drunk at the time, and it was not my responsibity." >>> I was always taught alcohol is liquid courage for those to chicken to speak their minds sober and that when drunk one is more likely to actually speak the truth of the feelings verse tip toeing around what they'd LIKE someone to think instead.