Re: I just started crying last night

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I hope you will accept my words, although they may not be comforting to you, it is meant to be of some kindness, as I know what you are experienceing.

Surgery, what ever kind it is, is stressful enough, seems the more invasive, the more stress. Add to that the pain, the kids, the unknown future, having to basically do it all yourself, my goodness you have a lot on your plate. Please, don't take this the wrong way, but are you keeping a normal schedule with your pain managment? I took meds for about 3 weeks post surgery, it helped so much in being able to "do" mommy and wifey and personal things.

Get outside in the sunshine, alone! Spend a few minutes soaking in some fresh air and sunshine, let your mind sink back to private times. Let the house go for a while... trust me, it'll still be there when you are able to get to it. (shucks) as for a sitter, have you tried contacting your local church? Even if you are not a member, they usually have very good child care providers, just a thought.

Oh, and - uhh... it's ok to cry, it washes the windows of our soul so we can see clearer :-)

{{{gentle hugs}}}

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your encouraging words.

Things are lookinh up I think I may have found another sitter that will be perfect for my son. We meet with her on Sat. it will cost me more but good sitters don't come cheap.

As for the pain meds I talked to my PT today about it all and she suggested that I take my meds every 4 or 6 hours and see if that helps. i think I was just trying to cut back on meds way to soon.

Thanks again......

i am feeling better today.

Kim

[Guest guest]

My son justed looked at me with a worried look. He was fine once mommy gave him and hug and a kiss and told him I was ok.

Then took over getting our son to sleep.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Carmel,

I am so glad to know I am not the only one. I have just been so emotional since my surgery. I feel like all me and my husband do is argue. That I am just a big burden.

He just now had the nervous to ask me if I was going to clean up downstairs. I tell him I will pick up and do dishes in the morning. what do I get a smart comment " Ok, I will come down later and clean up". First off why can't the dishes wait until morning. Does he not get why I was crying last night.

He tells me when he gets home from work to go upstairs and lay down and read where it is quiet. That he will watch the kids. Then turns around and makes me feel bad for going and laying down. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I know the kids are a handful. All of this is sure putting a strain on our marriage.

Sorry everyone just needing to vent.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Actually I think crying after surgery isn't an unusual thing. My theories

are like this:

1 Surgery is huge stress on the body. Stress is relieved by tears.

2 Surgery creates pain which creates endorphines which creates a high.

When the endorphine levels go down you hit a low.

3 It is easy to become frustrated when you have these surgeries. I don't

find it hard to cry when I am frustrated.

Forgive yourself for being human.

By the way, how did the child react? Surprising how good they can be when

they know the situation. Especially the littlies.

Hugs

Aussie Margaret

RTHR 1990 revised 2004

I just started crying last night

|I was hurting so bad last night I just started crying.

|

| I am feeling so stressed out. It has been very hard on me trying to take

| care of my 2 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter.

|

| On top of everything......my son falls down the steps 7/4 and we all have

to

| go to urgent care. He ends up with 4 stitches on his nose. Thankfully he

did

| not have a broken nose.

|

| Next I found out from my sitter that she has taken a teaching job and will

| no longer be able to watch my son and daughter.

|

| So now on top of having to try and get my self well......I also have to

try

| and find another sitter.

|

| I guess all of this just hit me last night. I was trying to get my son to

go

| to sleep and he was fighting me to go to sleep. I was worried about who

is

| going to watch my kids when school starts. Plus being in awful pain with

my

| knee. I just broke down and started crying.

|

| As I am typing this email I am fighting the tears. I have been

questioning

| if I bad the right discision. I do know that I will not be doing the

right

| knee any time soon. It has just been to hard on me with two young

children.

|

| I am so glad I have this great message broad of people to cry and vent

too.

|

| Kim

|

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[Guest guest]

Thank you

Thank for your support.

These baord has been so great.

Now that I am taking my pain meds every 4 to 6 hours it has sure helped with my leg not hurting ner as much tonight. I now know I need to keep tsking the pain meds 24/7 for right now.

Thanks to everyone for being here for me.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Yes, I cried on and off too. It was near Christmas time when I had my surgery and my daughter, who lives with me, told me not to worry about the Christmas shopping. But when I asked her to go for me, she said she didn't have the time. My son could not drive so I thought what will I do now. I would sit on my bed crying. I felt so helpless and useless because I couldn't get out and was not allowed to drive. Nor was I in any shape to try and walk around outside in the snow. Eventually my daughter went out for me. She's like that though. I hate to say it, but selfish. I felt like such a burden. My son would do whatever he could for me. I do have two great kids even though at times, I have to beg my daughter to do things. But now, almost two years later, I'm out doing everything (almost everything) I want and need to do. It does get better with time. CarmelMargaret <zztinau@...> wrote: Actually I think crying after surgery isn't an unusual thing. My theories are like this:1 Surgery is huge stress on the body. Stress is relieved by tears.2 Surgery creates pain which creates endorphines which creates a high. When the endorphine levels go down you hit a low.3 It is easy to become frustrated when you have these surgeries. I don't find it hard to cry when I am frustrated.Forgive yourself for being human.By the way, how did the child react? Surprising how good they can be when they know the situation. Especially the littlies.HugsAussie MargaretRTHR 1990 revised 2004 I just started crying last night|I was hurting so bad last night I just started crying.|| I am feeling so stressed out. It has been very hard on me trying to take| care of my 2 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter.|| On top of everything......my son falls down the steps 7/4 and we all have to| go to urgent care. He ends up with 4 stitches on his nose. Thankfully he did| not have a broken nose.|| Next I found out from my sitter that she has taken a teaching job and will| no longer be able to watch my son and daughter.|| So now on top of having to try and get my self well......I also have to try| and find another sitter.|| I guess all of this just hit me last night. I was trying to get my son to go| to sleep and he was fighting me to go to sleep. I was worried about who is| going to watch my kids when school

starts. Plus being in awful pain with my| knee. I just broke down and started crying.|| As I am typing this email I am fighting the tears. I have been questioning| if I bad the right discision. I do know that I will not be doing the right| knee any time soon. It has just been to hard on me with two young children.|| I am so glad I have this great message broad of people to cry and vent too.|| Kim|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 4/07/2006Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.

[Guest guest]

It's good to hear you are feeling a little more like yourself today. I'm glad that you found a sitter, I agree, sitters in and of themselves are hard to find, let alone a good one!

I really am glad to hear from you today as I have been thinking about you today. Just keep reminding yourself, today is 1 step closer to tomorrow than I was yesterday! Don't you just hate when people tell you that! LOL... I wish I could take away your frustrations, if only for a while. Hopefully, when my time comes again! >LOL< third time around same knee... that you all will be there for me too.

Keep your chin up and I'm here if you ever want to chat. I read ahead and saw that your hubby is there helping out and that your son is mending. Bless his heart, so young, such a big tough guy, but will always a mama's boy :-))... Little Boys... Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails. *give him a tender kiss for me too*

You're a great mom, keep working that leg so you can chase after thier little hineys, because theres going to come a day when they know you are 100%, and they WILL push you to your limit! LOL

Re: I just started crying last night

Thank you for your encouraging words.

Things are lookinh up I think I may have found another sitter that will be perfect for my son. We meet with her on Sat. it will cost me more but good sitters don't come cheap.

As for the pain meds I talked to my PT today about it all and she suggested that I take my meds every 4 or 6 hours and see if that helps. i think I was just trying to cut back on meds way to soon.

Thanks again......

i am feeling better today.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim, I just wanted to tell you to Trust in the Lord and take one day at a time. I was just wondering how old are your kids ? You should try and get them to help out just little things to do around the house well you take care and try and have a nice day . Susiekendrick1086@... wrote: Carmel, I am so glad to know I am not the only one. I have just been so emotional since my surgery. I feel like all me and my husband do is argue. That I am just a big burden. He just now had the nervous to ask me if I was going to clean up downstairs. I tell him I will pick up and do dishes in the morning. what do I get a smart comment " Ok, I will come down later and clean up". First off why can't the dishes wait until morning. Does he not get why I was crying last night. He tells me when he gets home from work to go upstairs and lay down and read where it is quiet. That he will watch the kids. Then turns around and makes me feel bad for going and laying down. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I know the kids are a handful. All of this is sure

putting a strain on our marriage. Sorry everyone just needing to vent. Kim

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I soo understand. I've got a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old. Both boys. And yes, I think the emotional thing is somehow part of the healing. My mom said she thought it might be from the anestesia? Whichever the case, as mothers, we are always everything to everybody and now, with us needing to heal it's our turn to be weak but it doesn't seem to last very long before everyone expects us to be strong again. I think I had a crying fit about that my 2nd week home from the hospital. I was like "can't I for ONCE just be weak!!?" And then I just found myself the next day pulling myself up by my boot-straps and being wonder-woman yet again, because that's just how it goes when you're a mom.

You will be fine, everything will work itself out, and just remember that you are only human and can only handle so much. You've been through the ringer and back.

[Guest guest]

when I was having my crying spells, my boys were all over me trying to make me feel better. I told them that "mommy's boo-boo hurts, and just like when they get boo-boos, sometimes it just feels better to cry." They seemed to relate to that.

[Guest guest]

I think maybe we've all been there. I'm six weeks out,

and I'm doing incredibly well, but there are times I

get so frustrated. The mid-level achiness that never

goes away-- though I know someday it will. But I get

cranky and my husband just doesn't get it sometimes

when I just want to be left alone to feel miserable.

He's never had arthritis or joint pain, and I think

people who haven't been through this kind of pain just

have a hard time grasping how bad it can be.

Carol

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Kim,

Oh I can't tell you how many times I've cried over this stupid knee

and wondered if I'd made the right decision! How are we gonna pay the

mortgage, the rest of the bills...my salary is cut in half, are they

gonna hold my job...oh wait! Now my boss gave my job to the temp he

hired to fill in for me....great. My stepson turned 18, now he's

moved to his Mom's house and his grades fell behind (still in high

school) and he flunked classes, have to depend on my husband to cook,

clean take care of our critters and our ranch...now that's NOT gonna

get done MY way!! So I understand about the breaking down and crying,

I did it a million times in the past few weeks. And I'm in PAIN.

Just know you aren't alone. I'm sending you a massive hug

Love,

Deb

>

> My son justed looked at me with a worried look. He was fine once

mommy gave

> him and hug and a kiss and told him I was ok.

>

> Then took over getting our son to sleep.

>

> Kim

>

[Guest guest]

Don't you all remember how emotional I was and that post I made about

how awful I was doing in my PT? I was so frustrated about how eveyone

else was doing so great right after surgery, and here I was at 3 months

post op and my ROM was crap. I said I wasn't gonna come here anymore

and I stopped posting for a while. My emotional state was on edge.

What we've gone through is a major life change. We will never be the

same. We are allowed to cry and be emotional. And we are allowed to

ask for help. Even more so right after our surgery.

Deb