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Re: Just courious!

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I want to ask all a question that is from one dwarf to another.being a dwarf

is caused by a birth defect so what do we pass that on to our children when

we know how had life is for us and how they will struggle too

>From: " Tom " <tomwls@...>

><dwarfismegroups>

>Subject: Just courious!

>Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 11:46:38 -0500

>

>What kind of dwarfism does the actress Debbie Lee Carrington have?

>

>.........And If your on this listserve Debbie, I just want to say hello.

>

>Tom

>

>

>

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,

Every one struggles in life, it doesn't matter who they are. If you know

what that child is going through, that's even better. You will know what

he/she is going though, giving them TONS of love and understanding.

Tom

Just courious!

> >Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 11:46:38 -0500

> >

> >What kind of dwarfism does the actress Debbie Lee Carrington have?

> >

> >.........And If your on this listserve Debbie, I just want to say hello.

> >

> >Tom

> >

> >

> >

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In a message dated 12/19/00 1:01:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,

scottyoung@... writes:

> Sure there's struggles, but EVERYONE, regardless of

> > height, have SOMETHING that is the absolute worst struggle in the

> > world. If I have a dwarf child, yes, I may be passing on hardship and

> > pain. But I'll also be passing on joy and love and all of the

> >

Right and you have more experience than someone who hasn't been through it.

Helen

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Wow, that is a double edge sword. On the one hand you have a baby who is

perfect, not wrong in anyway. A blessing and a joy.

Then on the other hand you have to face the world with your new born through

all the ridicule and slander and hurtful people out there.

It's definitely a tough situation, but I think that one would have to be

selfish in only seeing it from their perspective and not the child's.

Personally I don't plan on having a child simply because of the fact that I

would never ever want to have my own flesh and blood go through the crap I

have, even though in my eyes that child would be perfect.

However I am a hypocrite in saying that I hope no one else thinks the way I

do and that the dwarf community continues to populate the world.

It's a decision all of us have to make.

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There's a " Twilight Zone " episode you should see. I don't know the name

but at 18 you choose what you want to look like out of seven options.

You step into a machine and it makes you look that way. In the end you

act that way as well. How sad to lose some much diversity.

If my wife were tall would she be the same person? I don't think so and

I love her the way she is because that's part of who she is just as my

size, in part, makes me who I am. We would both like the medical

problems to be alleviated. We will have a child and if that child has

dwarfism we will be just as happy and we will let that child know it

everyday.

Marty

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As for if I would or would not have children, I strongly believe that is a

personal choice. However, would I make that choice knowing how badly society

treated me and thus would want to spare a child of mine.

Put in that form - I guess every dwarf who has or will have a dwarf child should

be arrested for child abuse/endangerment, for they are choosing to put a dwarf

child in harms way.

This can be said about any other minority group. Everyone of them that brings a

child into the world should be arrested for child abuse/endangering.

Wouldn't that make the skin head, Nazis and other groups just so happy.

This is extreme I know, however the question should not be - would you as a

dwarf, take the chance to have a dwarf child, knowing the hardships they will

face in society? It should be as a dwarf how can I both change society and hold

it accountable, so that all dwarfs can receive better treatment?

Finally on the technical issues of your question - it's Dictionary Time

First off not all dwarfism is caused by as you say it a " birth defect " . In

addition though I am a achon which was a part of me genetically every since, I

assume conception. I can not say I have a " birth defect " . Especially since a

defect is the lack of something necessary or desirable for completion or

perfection; 2. An imperfection that causes inadequacy or failure; a

shortcoming. Now some would say I am not perfect, however my dwarfism is not

the cause of my imperfection.

I will say that my dwarfism was caused by a gene mutation, which in biology, is

a sudden, random change in a gene, or unit of hereditary material, that can

alter an inheritable characteristic. Though most mutations are not beneficial,

since any change in the delicate balance of an organism having a high level of

adaptation to its environment tends to be disruptive. (Remember we are not

disruptive to our environment - our environment is disruptive to us.) As the

environment changes, however, mutations can prove advantageous and thus

contribute to evolutionary change in the species.

>>> " heather davis " <had1358@...> 12/19/00 11:58AM >>>

I want to ask all a question that is from one dwarf to another.being a dwarf

is caused by a birth defect so what do we pass that on to our children when

we know how had life is for us and how they will struggle too

>From: " Tom " <tomwls@...>

><dwarfismegroups>

>Subject: Just courious!

>Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 11:46:38 -0500

>

>What kind of dwarfism does the actress Debbie Lee Carrington have?

>

>.........And If your on this listserve Debbie, I just want to say hello.

>

>Tom

>

>

>

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i'm amazed at this notestream. i really am. i find it astounding to base the

conception of a child on what it's possible physical characteristics might

be...

to me, every child is a blessing, every child a re-affirmation of life. the

concept that a child is unwanted because of physical traits just boggles my

mind.

if you were mixed race, would you refuse to have children because of the

prejudice in the world? if you had blond hair, but wanted children with

dark hair... would you opt out of childbirth? if the majority of people in

the world are tall and thin, do you not have children if you are short and

fat?

children are cruel. thats a fact. no matter what your traits are, another

child will find something to point, to stare, to laugh at. i can't imagine

any child who has not had others find a reason to ridicule. do you wear

glasses? 4 EYES! are you fat? TUBBY! are you tall? HOWS THE WEATHER UP

THERE? are you short? ARE YOU GROUCHY OR SLEEPY?

i wont even go into the racial jeers, the religious, the ethnic. some of

these things are learned at home, taught to us by adults who too were hurt

as children. like it or not, it starts at home, folks. you teach your

children every day what is and isnt acceptable. by telling them to hush, and

ignoring a disabled person like they are invisible. by talking loudly to a

blind person, as tho they were an idiot, or deaf too! we teach them, the

children. all of us.

JMO

whims

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I know that life can be hard and even very difficult being " Short-statured " .

If we don't teach people that being unique is a gift,Who will? Who would

truthfully be able to teach people to " love one another as you love

yourself " ?

Freak of nature that a single gene " changes " just a bit? Or something

more?Hmmm...Who changed who ? So that we could change others? So do we give

in? Throw in the towel? Let people believe that we are junk? Let the media

portay our view of " beautiful " ? I was once taught , " Nothing worth having is

ever easy. "

One day through genetic testing,filtering...what-not. Most of us and

our " genetic-defect " won't have to worry about having a positive " effect " on

anyone . Because we will all blend in and dwarfism will be forgotten. Who

will be next?

Just courious!

> >Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 11:46:38 -0500

> >

> >What kind of dwarfism does the actress Debbie Lee Carrington have?

> >

> >.........And If your on this listserve Debbie, I just want to say hello.

> >

> >Tom

> >

> >

> >

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