You said it!!!

[Guest guest]

Alyce,

You said it!! You summed up everything I was trying to say on-line

a few days ago, about discrimination!! Of course, you used a lot

more tact & said it in a better way than I could.

As you can tell, I'm still suffering from my 'bubble-bursting' not finding

employment after college experiences!! I only graduated 3 years

ago, and have a hard time talking about it - without a lot of

anger & rage & everything else coming up!!! I'm too close

to the situation right now.

When people try to tell you or imply: It didn't happen, or make

excuses & rationalize your experiences away - it's just adds more

fuel to the raging fire!!!!

I agree with you also in not being falsely optimistic. I can't suger-coat

my life's experiences away or make excuses for society/people

& rationalize their behavior away towards me.

The facts usually speak for themselves: Like if you graduate from

college & you're the ONLY ONE in your field, NOT TO OBTAIN

EMPLOYMENT - THIS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. What more

can you say?? How can anyone rationalize or explain that away,

without making you feel 1000 times worse. That's like another

slap-in-the-face.

MARY

Is It Discrimination or Not?

> I was raised to take a great deal of pride in doing everything that I can

for

> myself, and in not " using " my disability. As a child, my mother expected

the

> same from me as from the other kids - though there were things I

legitimately

> could not do, I was always expected to give everything my best shot. To

this

> day, it is insulting and hurtful for someone to suggest or imply that I am

> getting out of something or avoiding something, or avoiding responsibility

> for something by " using " the fact that I am a dwarf. I don't think I am

> alone in this - if I say that I think a certain thing happened because I

am a

> dwarf, I do not say it lightly, and I AM NOT KIDDING!

>

> I suspect that one rarely knows the REAL reason one did not get a certain

> job, and the hiring process is anything but objective. Maybe the

interviewer

> didn't like people with brown hair, was intimiated by a woman with brains,

> didn't like overweight people, wanted to hire someone of another race to

make

> points with someone, had to interview people because of policy but really

> intended to hire the boss's son all along, didn't sleep last night and

didn't

> like anyone who came in that day - who knows! But I also know there have

> been times when there was not a doubt in my mind that the fact that I was

a

> dwarf made the interviewer uncomfortable, and that that was at least a

part

> of the decision.

>

> When I say " uncomfortable " I mean anything from (a) he wondered how I

would

> reach something and didn't know how to ask, ( she thought all dwarfs

worked

> for the circus, © he had a funny feeling he wasn't even aware of, or a

> million other reactions. One can try to anticipate and respond to such

> feelings, but one cannot crawl into an interviewer's head and figure out

> everything that's going on in there!

>

> Now, when I say I think that so-and-so didn't hire me because I'm a dwarf,

> that does not mean that I can't see the good in life. Of course to a

large

> degree one finds what one looks for, and if one expects nothing but

> discrimination, one will no doubt find a lot of it. But there's such a

thing

> as being falsely optimistic and avoiding placing blame where it belong.

When

> I first entered the job market, I was fresh out of college, starry-eyed

and

> full of enthusiasm and was SURE someone would quickly offer me a job. My

> bubble was burst in a hurry, and it was an experience so devastating that

it

> is still difficult to talk about 20+ years later. If the response I got

from

> friends and family at the time had been along the lines of " Just look for

the

> best and you'll find it, " or " Now, now, don't blame it on your dwarfism, "

I

> cannot imagine how much worse I would have felt.

>

> I DO think things are better overall than they were 20 years ago, but

> prejedice and discrimination are still alive and well. If we are so busy

> being FALSELY optimistic, we not only fail to deal with and get rid of

> prejudice and discrimination, we actually encourage them.

>

> My advice to the younger ones hitting the job market now is this: Don't

give

> up, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You are a

unique

> individual and you have something to offer the world and you WILL

eventually

> find someone with enough sense to realize that. Prepare yourself as well

as

> you can - get the best education you can and research your field

thoroughly.

> Be prepared to hear a lot of " no's " and practice not taking it personally.

> Be prepared to work your butt off when you do get an opportunity. You

will

> get through it and you will be a stronger person for it (Lord, I used to

hate

> it when my mother said that, but darned if she wasn't right!).

>

> God bless.

>

> Alyce :-)

>

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