Note of thanks from 's mom & update

[Guest guest]

Hi list, this is ('s mom). I just wanted to extend a note of thanks

to Ginny, , Apryl, Cori, Marty, and Gretchen for being empathetic and

compassionate in defending me in regard to the TLC documentary. They very

eloquently voiced many of the things I would have said myself. There are,

however, a few things that no-one but myself knows about this documentary and

I'd like the chance to tell you all.

When we were approached, my husband and I thought long and hard about doing this

film. We wanted to be involved in a documentary about little people for two

reasons: 1) to let the public know that our daughter and all little people are

" people " first and foremost & 2) that it's ok for average statured parents to

feel the whole gamut of emotions when faced with any uncertain pre-birth

diagnosis (especially one like ours that included the real possibility of the

baby dying right after birth).

The reason we were nervous about involving ourselves was because, although we

had our own message to put across, we realized that anything we said could be

edited and spliced together in any way the producers wanted. This is commonly

known as the documentary's " angle " . The magic of editing can be a wonderful tool

to support and further the film's " angle " . We had no warning ahead of time what

the final cut of the film would be and we were seeing it for the first time with

all of you. The film crew followed our lives for two days and I gave over 2

hours of interviews. You saw, perhaps 2-3 minutes of my interview. TLC also

further cut the original documentary to meet its time slot.

Overall, we think that the documentary was excellent and captured the essence of

what we went through. The first concern I had with the documentary was with the

comment (note - it was said by the narrator, not myself), " wondered if

she could love her dwarf child " . A little artistic license was taken here to add

drama to the story. I may have gone through a wide range of emotions, but I

loved from the moment she was conceived. Second, any concerns I had with

what was going to look like were given exaggerated importance by being

used in the opening scene. During this period prior to 's birth, my major

concerns were, would she survive birth and what kind of medical complications

would she suffer.

Lastly,the whole issue of not bonding with for 3 DAYS (thank you Marty for

correcting the 3 MONTH error) had little to do with her being a dwarf. It had to

do with the fact that I thought she was going to die and was afraid my heart

would break if I let myself feel anything. In addition, I had a reaction to the

anesthetic during 's birth and it took three days for me to recover. Not

having a rush of maternal love is a very common reaction to a C-section birth

(especially when you're going into anaphylactic shock).

We knew we were at risk of opening ourselves to criticism or misinterpretation

by participating, but we felt that depicting little people and their families'

lives in a true and honest manner was an important message and worth that risk.

is still her bubbly self and the center of all our lives (along with her

new sister ). However, has been found to have spinal cord compression

and will be undergoing decompression surgery the first week of October. Good

thoughts for her would be greatly appreciated.

_________________________________________________________________

iVillage.com: Solutions for Your Life

Check out the most exciting women's community on the Web

http://www.ivillage.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/3/2001 9:23:52 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

sweetpeasmum@... writes:

> sweetpeasmum@...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Subj: Re: Note of thanks from 's mom & update

Date: 9/4/2001 5:35:09 AM Pacific Daylight Time

From:    MissWigglesUSA@...

To:    dwarfism

In a message dated 9/3/2001 9:23:52 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

sweetpeasmum@... writes:

> sweetpeasmum@...

-------------------------------------------------------

This is what I typed below and the words didnt show......Try it again.

In a message dated 9/3/2001 9:23:52 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

sweetpeasmum@... writes:

> sweetpeasmum@...

>

>

>

There go's my 3 emails for the day...

[Guest guest]

Your email name alone tells how much you love your child.

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much ! This just serves to remind us that we all

need to walk in other's shoes. I (and my husband who is of average

height) thought the program was very well done.

I may catch a little flak here (because not everyone feels the same

way that I do about this)... but here goes... I think parents today

that face having a child with dwarfism face incredible (not to say

that ultimately they are not rewarding) times ahead. It can be

daunting, challenging and exhausting. It is not just the children

who are special (I know that word bothers some) but their parents are

special too!

No matter what we (as dwarfs) feel about how great it is to be alive,

I still can't help but wonder how much pain (more than I) my mother

was in when I was in discomfort (I have a lot of physical issues),

upset, hurt or disheartened and beaten by my uniqueness.

Parents want to protect their children from the world and I can't

tell you how many times I saw my mother's lip quiver trying to be

brave when I was facing another surgery or when my muscles were in so

much spasm that I couldn't even sit. This was personal, not to even

mention what society threw at us!

I laud parents who love there children. I am in awe of parents who

face the challenges of raising a child with special considerations.

I bless you and say 'thank you'.

I say Bravo! to you , for sharing your life, your concerns,

your inner most heart thoughts!

Ginny

At 9:22 PM -0700 9/3/01, sweetpeasmum@... wrote:

>Hi list, this is ('s mom). I just wanted to extend a

>note of thanks to Ginny, , Apryl, Cori, Marty, and Gretchen for

>being empathetic and compassionate in defending me in regard to the

>TLC documentary. They very eloquently voiced many of the things I

>would have said myself. There are, however, a few things that no-one

>but myself knows about this documentary and I'd like the chance to

>tell you all.

>

>When we were approached, my husband and I thought long and hard

>about doing this film. We wanted to be involved in a documentary

>about little people for two reasons: 1) to let the public know that

>our daughter and all little people are " people " first and foremost &

>2) that it's ok for average statured parents to feel the whole gamut

>of emotions when faced with any uncertain pre-birth diagnosis

>(especially one like ours that included the real possibility of the

>baby dying right after birth).

>

>The reason we were nervous about involving ourselves was because,

>although we had our own message to put across, we realized that

>anything we said could be edited and spliced together in any way the

>producers wanted. This is commonly known as the documentary's

> " angle " . The magic of editing can be a wonderful tool to support and

>further the film's " angle " . We had no warning ahead of time what the

>final cut of the film would be and we were seeing it for the first

>time with all of you. The film crew followed our lives for two days

>and I gave over 2 hours of interviews. You saw, perhaps 2-3 minutes

>of my interview. TLC also further cut the original documentary to

>meet its time slot.

>

>Overall, we think that the documentary was excellent and captured

>the essence of what we went through. The first concern I had with

>the documentary was with the comment (note - it was said by the

>narrator, not myself), " wondered if she could love her dwarf

>child " . A little artistic license was taken here to add drama to the

>story. I may have gone through a wide range of emotions, but I loved

> from the moment she was conceived. Second, any concerns I had

>with what was going to look like were given exaggerated

>importance by being used in the opening scene. During this period

>prior to 's birth, my major concerns were, would she survive

>birth and what kind of medical complications would she suffer.

>

>Lastly,the whole issue of not bonding with for 3 DAYS (thank

>you Marty for correcting the 3 MONTH error) had little to do with

>her being a dwarf. It had to do with the fact that I thought she was

>going to die and was afraid my heart would break if I let myself

>feel anything. In addition, I had a reaction to the anesthetic

>during 's birth and it took three days for me to recover. Not

>having a rush of maternal love is a very common reaction to a

>C-section birth (especially when you're going into anaphylactic

>shock).

>

>We knew we were at risk of opening ourselves to criticism or

>misinterpretation by participating, but we felt that depicting

>little people and their families' lives in a true and honest manner

>was an important message and worth that risk.

>

> is still her bubbly self and the center of all our lives

>(along with her new sister ). However, has been found to

>have spinal cord compression and will be undergoing decompression

>surgery the first week of October. Good thoughts for her would be

>greatly appreciated.

>

>

>

>_________________________________________________________________

>iVillage.com: Solutions for Your Life

>Check out the most exciting women's community on the Web

>http://www.ivillage.com

>

>

>===

>