Re: Ignorant average Parents

[Guest guest]

Being an average statured parent of an LP child I can only speculate the

mother's reaction was becasue of her embarrassment and she may not have

understood how to respond. Is it possible you were her first encounter with

an LP person? Not that it excuses her but it could explain it.

In our case we get stares and notice the whispers because of our 2yo, not

our LP daughter who looks average at this point. He has no legs but wears

prosthetics. Sometiems I will take the proactive approach and simply tell

then he was born that way. Its usually enough to satisfy their curiosity.

Others I will talk out loud to Nik for their benefit and say yes, they are

being rude to stare at you. My reponse depends on their attitude I see.

Sometiems I take the littles aside whenwe see a man in a wheelchair for

instance, or when we see a person whose legs or hands are similar to Nik's,

and explain that these people do all kinds of things just like they do. Just

becasue you are put together in a different way you are still a human...and

so on.

Ok, lecture me for be sacharin or unrealistic now.

apryl

[Guest guest]

I tried with all my might to get Oprah to do a show on dwarfism. The only

thing she has had on the subject is a book from her book club, " Stones from

the River. " A novel written by Ursula Hegi. I am reading it as we speak and I

suggest it. I have been so into it, it is hard to put down. It has 525 pages.

After she read the book and had the Author on, she ran a short segment on a

little woman and her daily life. I thought she needed to be enlightened as to

the fact that so many babies are born to average statured parents. Because

most people still think it does not pertain to them. But all my attempts have

failed. Anyone else tried? Let me know. Maybe we can bombard her with e-mail

on the subject? a

[Guest guest]

oh i would love to see Oprah do a segment on this . count me in if you need

help with another voice . more emails or whatever it takes to get her to do

this . My husband and I are both average size parents and our oldest has

achon ... i will help no matter what it takes ...

Kathy in Florida

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/11/99 5:18:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time, From:

Msmadear@... writes:

<< I gave the mother a hard stare as

> to say why don't you say something ? My point is some people wonder why

their

> children are the way they are. The fruit does not fall far from the tree.

>>

True, your comment is in relation to what I stated awhile back. It is

ignorant for the adult in charge of the child or children to not say

something and apologize.

A few days ago I was in a grocery store and this boy was rude and I said

everyone is different and God made everyone different. Well, his mother

heard and felt bad and apologized. That made me feel good not only for

myself, but for the child as well. At least this child will learn that

everyone is not the same and people of short stature are just the same as

himself except a bit shorter.

Helen

[Guest guest]

This is in response to average sized children (With average sized parents)

who are not taught about the many different statured people in this world. I

totally agree, Dan.

Average sized parents should educate their children on this.

Several years back, when I was small (like 9-10 years old) and I was shopping

in the grocery store with my dad, who like myself was an achon. Some child

was in the cart and burst out laughing and pointing at my dad and I. The

mother hauled off and slapped the kid silly. My dad got angry, went over to

the woman and explained to her to please not hit the child, but teach him

that there are many different statured people in this world and to hit him

would only make him afraid of us. The woman apologized and agreed that he

was right. My dad then talked to the boy and told him why some people are

short.

If more average parents of average kids would do the explaining, we would not

have to.

[Guest guest]

Msmadear@... wrote:

>

> From: Msmadear@...

>

> I have read about this before on this server and it really didn't bother me

> until a few days ago. I was in the checkout line and this lady with two kids

> came behind me. One kid began to ask her mother to look at me. She said "

> Mommy look at the thingy. What is that thing? " The mother ignored her child

> and then proceeded to move to another line. I gave the mother a hard stare as

> to say why don't you say something ? My point is some people wonder why their

> children are the way they are. The fruit does not fall far from the tree. By

> the way has Oprah ever had us on her show?

> I need some feedback.

I usually take it upon myself to engage the innocently curious child,

have some fun with them, try to explain it to the child and either

relieve the parent from the awkwardness or catch them in their own

awkwardness cause they have too short of patience to explain or are

embarrassed at the way they've brought the kid up, yada, yada, yada!

Either way, I try to leave the kid glad that they " pointed " me out,

having a good time, more educated about the dwarf experience, and

looking forward to the next time they run into someone that's different,

unique, etc.

But heaven's forbid, I should ask the kid for a donation for our poor,

starving organization! LOL

******************************************

Enter to WIN! When's your birthday?

http://thatsdandy.com

Danny Black, PMS, dhblack@...

" finding your need and filling it "

517-371-2225 voice, 517-371-2725 FAX

ICQ & AOL IM enabled

http://thatsdandy.com

1295 STOLL RD, DEWITT MI 48820-9018

******************************************

[Guest guest]

As the " average " mother of 3 " average " children and 1 LP, I understand how

it must bother you. I have tried to teach all of my children that everyone is

different in some way. When Tara (LP), started school her teacher did a whole

week on how everyone was different. Color, size, or whatever, she covered it

all. I agree that more parents should take the time to tell their children

everyone is not the same.

[Guest guest]

Count me in too! Diane )

----------

> From: KATKAT2@...

> dwarfismonelist

> Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

> Date: Wednesday, August 11, 1999 2:07 PM

>

> From: KATKAT2@...

>

> oh i would love to see Oprah do a segment on this . count me in if you

need

> help with another voice . more emails or whatever it takes to get her to

do

> this . My husband and I are both average size parents and our oldest has

> achon ... i will help no matter what it takes ...

>

> Kathy in Florida

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi List,

I very seldom post anything to the list.....but now I have to! I am an

" average size " parent of a 2 year old lp. It just irritates me that these

parents don't offer some kind of explanation to their children. Even before

Kara was born, I would give my older children some sort of explanation. They

are only children and if they don't have contact with " different "

people.....they are curious! My two older daughters, who are 13 and 10,

could tell you anything you wanted know about " Achondroplaisa " . They have

educated their friends about it and anyone they met while taking Kara for

walks. I take Kara everywhere we go (to the park, softball games, school

activities..anywhere!) and when other children come by her to play they will

ask " how old is she? " and I tell them 2. Then they usually proceed with

" she's so small " that when I explain to them the she's a dwarf and will

always be small...but she can do everything that they can do. If they have

questions after that I try to answer them so they could understand. I never

get rude with a child. And as for the adults we have come in contact with,

not one person has ever turned away or said anything bad to us. Most are

just as curious as the children. I do not hesitate to tell them.

Sorry for the long post....I haven't had my coffee yet this morning =) I

just wanted to speak my mind!

Karas Mom,

----Original Message Follows----

From: AngelsRTru@...

Reply-dwarfismonelist

dwarfismonelist

Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 16:30:30 EDT

From: AngelsRTru@...

Being an average statured parent of an LP child I can only speculate the

mother's reaction was becasue of her embarrassment and she may not have

understood how to respond. Is it possible you were her first encounter

with

an LP person? Not that it excuses her but it could explain it.

In our case we get stares and notice the whispers because of our 2yo, not

our LP daughter who looks average at this point. He has no legs but wears

prosthetics. Sometiems I will take the proactive approach and simply tell

then he was born that way. Its usually enough to satisfy their curiosity.

Others I will talk out loud to Nik for their benefit and say yes, they are

being rude to stare at you. My reponse depends on their attitude I see.

Sometiems I take the littles aside whenwe see a man in a wheelchair for

instance, or when we see a person whose legs or hands are similar to Nik's,

and explain that these people do all kinds of things just like they do.

Just

becasue you are put together in a different way you are still a human...and

so on.

Ok, lecture me for be sacharin or unrealistic now.

apryl

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

I have also read this book, when she first had it on her book club. It is

VERY good! It is hard to put down, so reading 525 pages just flies by!!

----Original Message Follows----

From: AIS1INFO@...

Reply-dwarfismonelist

dwarfismonelist

Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 16:56:29 EDT

From: AIS1INFO@...

I tried with all my might to get Oprah to do a show on dwarfism. The only

thing she has had on the subject is a book from her book club, " Stones from

the River. " A novel written by Ursula Hegi. I am reading it as we speak and

I

suggest it. I have been so into it, it is hard to put down. It has 525

pages.

After she read the book and had the Author on, she ran a short segment on a

little woman and her daily life. I thought she needed to be enlightened as

to

the fact that so many babies are born to average statured parents. Because

most people still think it does not pertain to them. But all my attempts

have

failed. Anyone else tried? Let me know. Maybe we can bombard her with e-mail

on the subject? a

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Martha:

NO! we are not on 24-hour call. :-) I also feel strongly about educating

people whenever I can, but I am human and have cranky days, or times when I'm

tired, or when I prefer to be doing something else. There are times when all

I want to do is complete my errand and go home and not be bothered, and I

don't think that's a bad thing.

Alyce :-)

[Guest guest]

Are there days when such things happen and you just don't feel like doing the

right thing. I know we should always be helpful and educate the public about

being a little person, however there are days when I am just not up to the task.

I know this is wrong. I know we should educate the public, in order to receive

better treatment. Yet there are times.

I will confess there was a day when I had a perfect opportunity to educate a

group of children about being an LP. I feel bad to this day.

This is what happened - I took my nephew to a fountain pool to enjoy the day

with him. Now my brother works for the State Department and is usally assigned

to posts where phone service is difficult let alone any travel. Due to this

fact, any time I have to spend with his children is gold.

Well anyway, here we are playing - enjoying some time together. When this one

child start having problems with my size. Well, the mother was very nice and

explained that people are different. She then asked if I would teach the

children about being a person of short stature. I thanked her for asking,

however I explained I was with my nephew and perferred to spend time with him.

She gave me a look of contempt for not accepting her offer.

[Guest guest]

Martha:

While I believe in educating the public and I believe that ones in charge of

children should educate the children about differences amongst everyone

period. I don't believe that 100% of the time I'm up to the questions being

asked. I don't mind questions sometimes, but not all the time it gets a bit

intrusive. There are times in one's life where one wants to be left alone,

like Greta Garbo used to say.

I do mind and would be concerned if some stranger decided to take pictures of

myself or people I'm with. I'm not a celebrity at least not yet. :-)

Helen

[Guest guest]

---snip---

>From: Karolyn <kbgillum@...>

>She is merely a 2 year old doing what almost every other 2 year old does..

You know that 2 year old attitude? lol

---snip---

Ain't nothin' til you've experienced two totally wacky boys! Using his

quickest wits, my seven year old is attempting to take out the enemy -- his

brother -- who's stratigically drawn a tactical target to the back end of

his diaper!

It's going to be a _long_ afternoon! ;-)

-----------------------------

Bill, & Kids

Aucott@...

[Guest guest]

> From: Martha Undercoffer <Munderco@...>

>

> Are there days when such things happen and you just don't feel like doing

the right thing. I know we should always be helpful and educate the public

about being a little person, however there are days when I am just not up to

the task.

> ****** i think like any other physical or mental handicap...that " should "

just sticks in my craw. we may feel that we have a responsibility to

educate, but is that true? i dont feel a responsibility to educate someone

else's child about sex, or about blindness, or about sign language. even tho

if i saw a child walking into the street, i certainly would grab the kid

before s/he got run over, but the truth is, i have a right to enjoy my free

time with my family, JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. the *medical field* has the

responsibility to educate new physicians about a wide range of handicaps so

that they can provide appropriate treatment. colleges have the

responsibility to educate teachers so that they can do their duty to the

children that are entrusted to their care. *Parents * have the

responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their curiousity

about different things, and different people. i may choose to educate a

child if they show curiousity, but i *dont* have the responsibility to do

so.

whims

..

[Guest guest]

Human beings all have bad days. Being in the particular position we are,

though, even on days when we don't want to speak to another human being, we

get noticed. The only time I've ever really felt like just part of the

crowd was in Portland. :-) I'm more willing, in theory, to be a little

more open with kids who are curious about me, since they are just kids.

Adults are another matter, but I usually just walk off if somebody's really

rude to me, which very rarely happens. (One time I should have complained

to the manager of a store about a couple of employees, but I didn't even

think of that until I got home and my mom pointed that out to me. I just

wanted out of there.)

Last week, as I was hauling a basket of laundry from my car to my apartment

(it's an old complex, so there's a laundry room -- no hookups in the units),

a kid I've seen running around before came over and said hi, and asked me

how old I was. Now, I'm not to the point where my age bothers me, but since

I knew perfectly well what he was really asking, I told him that yes, I'm

grown up, and it's not too nice to ask women their age. He had the grace to

look a little embarassed, and asked me another question or two, then

announced he was visiting my neighbor and told me how the neighbor lets him

light his cigarettes (yikes!). The whole encounter took about thirty

seconds. I did want to go over and chew out my neighbor on the

cigarette-lighting issue, but as long as the kid doesn't set the building on

fire, it's none of my business, I guess.

On the other hand, yesterday when I was out looking for some new shoes, a

fellow customer came over and, seeing me, gave me that goopy smile. " Oh,

you're a little one! " she said cheerfully, and if she'd said another word to

me...grrr. I wasn't too happy, but just sort of smiled and nodded and beat

it -- there weren't any shoes there I liked that I could afford anyway. She

wasn't trying to be rude, I know, but she was definitely pointing out the

obvious. Maybe it was the tone of voice that ticked me off. (Yeah, I could

have said something like, " Gee, you have a big butt, don't you! " but that's

just not my style. I only say things like that in my head. I'm terminally

nice.)

--

[Guest guest]

Well said Diane!!

----Original Message Follows----

From: " Diane,... " <Calgirl@...>

Reply-dwarfismonelist

<dwarfismonelist>

Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1999 22:27:05 -0700

From: " Diane,... " <Calgirl@...>

Not trying to start Battle here but.......WOWS~~....If

Parents were only

born with the knowledge then I might believe this to be

true when it came

to differences and how to handle the situations of facing

someone they do

not know anything about. I do believe that the parents

should educate about

sex themselves.... this isn't the problem we seem to have

in this

discussion I Quote: Ignorant " average " Parents " *Parents *

have the

responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in

their curiosity

about different things, and different people. I may choose

to educate a

child if they show curiosity, but I *dont* have the

responsibility to do

so. "

Hmm.....

if the doctors are out there to educate the med students

and the teachers

are out there to educate the children, then how and were

does a person who

is not aware of differences of dwarfism supposed to get

educated? If not by

us then who by??? The parents are not born to know about us

and our

differences, so how can you say it is up to the parents to

do it??

How can one point out where it is right or wrong as far as

where to get

educated?? Were we born to know what we were? No we had to

be tough by

those who had to learn before us. I'm amazed at ones

decision to be selfish

and say I enjoy my free life. Well so does everyone else.

Why wouldn't a

person want to make things better by taking just a moment

or a little

effort from ones day to just give a smile, a hug, or say a

few kind words

to enlighten ones spirit?

Gosh if everyone felt this way..(I do not wish to be

bothered) we wouldn't

learn a darn thing about the good of to days society and

the things that

go on in it. It is this attitude that some average height

people carry onto

there kids. It is these people that hurt, or torment you.

Why would anyone

choose to not do anything about it?? Isn't that what the

LPA is all

about??? Friends, Family, education about one another???

If we can do it for one another..why not go for it and do

it for others as

well. We need to see past our own differences and deal with

it by educating

others. We have nothing to lose by doing so and so much to

gain from it. So

in conclusion to what I read, it may not be " YOUR "

responsibility, and yes

it is your own choice on how to respond, but it would seem

it would be

better to take the initiative in the interest of both

parties to educate.

Your friend Diane )

-----

> From: whims ivey <justwhims@...>

> dwarfismonelist

> Subject: Re:

> Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 3:03 PM

>

> From: " whims ivey " <justwhims@...>

>

>

>

>

> > From: Martha Undercoffer <Munderco@...>

> >

> > Are there days when such things happen and you just

don't feel like

doing

> the right thing. I know we should always be helpful and

educate the

public

> about being a little person, however there are days when

I am just not up

to

> the task.

> > ****** i think like any other physical or mental

handicap...that

" should "

> just sticks in my craw. we may feel that we have a

responsibility to

> educate, but is that true? i dont feel a responsibility

to educate

someone

> else's child about sex, or about blindness, or about

sign language. even

tho

> if i saw a child walking into the street, i certainly

would grab the kid

> before s/he got run over, but the truth is, i have a

right to enjoy my

free

> time with my family, JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. the *medical

field* has the

> responsibility to educate new physicians about a wide

range of handicaps

so

> that they can provide appropriate treatment. colleges

have the

> responsibility to educate teachers so that they can do

their duty to the

> children that are entrusted to their care. *Parents *

have the

> responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in

their curiousity

> about different things, and different people. i may

choose to educate a

> child if they show curiousity, but i *dont* have the

responsibility to do

> so.

> whims

> .

>

>

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Not trying to start Battle here but.......WOWS~~....If Parents were only

born with the knowledge then I might believe this to be true when it came

to differences and how to handle the situations of facing someone they do

not know anything about. I do believe that the parents should educate about

sex themselves.... this isn't the problem we seem to have in this

discussion I Quote: Ignorant " average " Parents " *Parents * have the

responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their curiosity

about different things, and different people. I may choose to educate a

child if they show curiosity, but I *dont* have the responsibility to do

so. "

Hmm.....

if the doctors are out there to educate the med students and the teachers

are out there to educate the children, then how and were does a person who

is not aware of differences of dwarfism supposed to get educated? If not by

us then who by??? The parents are not born to know about us and our

differences, so how can you say it is up to the parents to do it??

How can one point out where it is right or wrong as far as where to get

educated?? Were we born to know what we were? No we had to be tough by

those who had to learn before us. I'm amazed at ones decision to be selfish

and say I enjoy my free life. Well so does everyone else. Why wouldn't a

person want to make things better by taking just a moment or a little

effort from ones day to just give a smile, a hug, or say a few kind words

to enlighten ones spirit?

Gosh if everyone felt this way..(I do not wish to be bothered) we wouldn't

learn a darn thing about the good of to days society and the things that

go on in it. It is this attitude that some average height people carry onto

there kids. It is these people that hurt, or torment you. Why would anyone

choose to not do anything about it?? Isn't that what the LPA is all

about??? Friends, Family, education about one another???

If we can do it for one another..why not go for it and do it for others as

well. We need to see past our own differences and deal with it by educating

others. We have nothing to lose by doing so and so much to gain from it. So

in conclusion to what I read, it may not be " YOUR " responsibility, and yes

it is your own choice on how to respond, but it would seem it would be

better to take the initiative in the interest of both parties to educate.

Your friend Diane )

-----

> From: whims ivey <justwhims@...>

> dwarfismonelist

> Subject: Re:

> Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 3:03 PM

>

> From: " whims ivey " <justwhims@...>

>

>

>

>

> > From: Martha Undercoffer <Munderco@...>

> >

> > Are there days when such things happen and you just don't feel like

doing

> the right thing. I know we should always be helpful and educate the

public

> about being a little person, however there are days when I am just not up

to

> the task.

> > ****** i think like any other physical or mental handicap...that

" should "

> just sticks in my craw. we may feel that we have a responsibility to

> educate, but is that true? i dont feel a responsibility to educate

someone

> else's child about sex, or about blindness, or about sign language. even

tho

> if i saw a child walking into the street, i certainly would grab the kid

> before s/he got run over, but the truth is, i have a right to enjoy my

free

> time with my family, JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. the *medical field* has the

> responsibility to educate new physicians about a wide range of handicaps

so

> that they can provide appropriate treatment. colleges have the

> responsibility to educate teachers so that they can do their duty to the

> children that are entrusted to their care. *Parents * have the

> responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their curiousity

> about different things, and different people. i may choose to educate a

> child if they show curiousity, but i *dont* have the responsibility to do

> so.

> whims

> .

>

>

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

hi diane

dont take me wrong, or take offense at what i say. it may have come out

stronger than i wanted it to, but the sentiment is there. i very simply

mean that there are times that i want to spend time with my SO's, and not

feel that i am continually required to be a " teacher " . there has to be some

downtime in life, yes? parents arent born knowing how to teach their child

how to do a lot of things.

----- Original Message -----

> From: " Diane,... " <Calgirl@...>

>

> Not trying to start Battle here but.......WOWS~~....If Parents were only

> born with the knowledge then I might believe this to be true when it came

> to differences and how to handle the situations of facing someone they do

> not know anything about. I do believe that the parents should educate

about

> sex themselves.... this isn't the problem we seem to have in this

> discussion I Quote: Ignorant " average " Parents " *Parents * have the

> responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their curiosity

> about different things, and different people. I may choose to educate a

> child if they show curiosity, but I *dont* have the responsibility to do

> so. "

> Hmm.....

> if the doctors are out there to educate the med students and the teachers

> are out there to educate the children, then how and were does a person who

> is not aware of differences of dwarfism supposed to get educated? If not

by

> us then who by??? The parents are not born to know about us and our

> differences, so how can you say it is up to the parents to do it??

> How can one point out where it is right or wrong as far as where to get

> educated?? Were we born to know what we were? No we had to be tough by

> those who had to learn before us. I'm amazed at ones decision to be

selfish

> and say I enjoy my free life. Well so does everyone else. Why wouldn't a

> person want to make things better by taking just a moment or a little

> effort from ones day to just give a smile, a hug, or say a few kind words

> to enlighten ones spirit?

> Gosh if everyone felt this way..(I do not wish to be bothered) we wouldn't

> learn a darn thing about the good of to days society and the things that

> go on in it

> > .

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

THank you.. ) have a Great Day. Your friend Diane

----------

> From: whims ivey <justwhims@...>

> dwarfismonelist

> Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

> Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 11:11 PM

>

> From: " whims ivey " <justwhims@...>

>

> hi diane

> dont take me wrong, or take offense at what i say. it may have come out

> stronger than i wanted it to, but the sentiment is there. i very simply

> mean that there are times that i want to spend time with my SO's, and not

> feel that i am continually required to be a " teacher " . there has to be

some

> downtime in life, yes? parents arent born knowing how to teach their

child

> how to do a lot of things.

> ----- Original Message -----

>

>

>

> > From: " Diane,... " <Calgirl@...>

> >

> > Not trying to start Battle here but.......WOWS~~....If Parents were

only

> > born with the knowledge then I might believe this to be true when it

came

> > to differences and how to handle the situations of facing someone they

do

> > not know anything about. I do believe that the parents should educate

> about

> > sex themselves.... this isn't the problem we seem to have in this

> > discussion I Quote: Ignorant " average " Parents " *Parents * have the

> > responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their

curiosity

> > about different things, and different people. I may choose to educate

a

> > child if they show curiosity, but I *dont* have the responsibility to

do

> > so. "

> > Hmm.....

> > if the doctors are out there to educate the med students and the

teachers

> > are out there to educate the children, then how and were does a person

who

> > is not aware of differences of dwarfism supposed to get educated? If

not

> by

> > us then who by??? The parents are not born to know about us and our

> > differences, so how can you say it is up to the parents to do it??

> > How can one point out where it is right or wrong as far as where to get

> > educated?? Were we born to know what we were? No we had to be tough by

> > those who had to learn before us. I'm amazed at ones decision to be

> selfish

> > and say I enjoy my free life. Well so does everyone else. Why wouldn't

a

> > person want to make things better by taking just a moment or a little

> > effort from ones day to just give a smile, a hug, or say a few kind

words

> > to enlighten ones spirit?

> > Gosh if everyone felt this way..(I do not wish to be bothered) we

wouldn't

> > learn a darn thing about the good of to days society and the things

that

> > go on in it

> > > .

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi

I would agree with one exception! In the case of (the Tasmanian Two

year old) we did not know when was LP until she was 2.5 months old.. There was

no preparing anyone while was still in utero!

Then it became preparing all of our family in one fells swoop! It was quite a

time and looking back just the 2 short years I am amazed we all came together so

well! (You would have to know some members of 's family to appreciate

that statement and since you don't you cannot make a contridictionary comment)

lol

We understand the educating posture one must assume once this diagnosis is made

and as it becomes apparent to people in general that is, by appearance,

" a very advanced infant! "

It does get tedious at times dealing with people and as yet does not

realize the stir she makes as she pushes a grocery cart... or walks down the

mall! She is merely a 2 year old doing what almost every other 2 year old does..

You know that 2 year old attitude? lol

Karolyn

Caldwell wrote:

> From: " Caldwell " <karas_mom@...>

>

> Hi List,

> I very seldom post anything to the list.....but now I have to! I am an

> " average size " parent of a 2 year old lp. It just irritates me that these

> parents don't offer some kind of explanation to their children. Even before

> Kara was born, I would give my older children some sort of explanation. They

> are only children and if they don't have contact with " different "

> people.....they are curious! My two older daughters, who are 13 and 10,

> could tell you anything you wanted know about " Achondroplaisa " . They have

> educated their friends about it and anyone they met while taking Kara for

> walks. I take Kara everywhere we go (to the park, softball games, school

> activities..anywhere!) and when other children come by her to play they will

> ask " how old is she? " and I tell them 2. Then they usually proceed with

> " she's so small " that when I explain to them the she's a dwarf and will

> always be small...but she can do everything that they can do. If they have

> questions after that I try to answer them so they could understand. I never

> get rude with a child. And as for the adults we have come in contact with,

> not one person has ever turned away or said anything bad to us. Most are

> just as curious as the children. I do not hesitate to tell them.

>

> Sorry for the long post....I haven't had my coffee yet this morning =) I

> just wanted to speak my mind!

>

> Karas Mom,

>

>

> ----Original Message Follows----

> From: AngelsRTru@...

> Reply-dwarfismonelist

> dwarfismonelist

> Subject: Re: Ignorant " average " Parents

> Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 16:30:30 EDT

>

> From: AngelsRTru@...

>

> Being an average statured parent of an LP child I can only speculate the

> mother's reaction was becasue of her embarrassment and she may not have

> understood how to respond. Is it possible you were her first encounter

> with

> an LP person? Not that it excuses her but it could explain it.

>

> In our case we get stares and notice the whispers because of our 2yo, not

> our LP daughter who looks average at this point. He has no legs but wears

> prosthetics. Sometiems I will take the proactive approach and simply tell

> then he was born that way. Its usually enough to satisfy their curiosity.

> Others I will talk out loud to Nik for their benefit and say yes, they are

> being rude to stare at you. My reponse depends on their attitude I see.

> Sometiems I take the littles aside whenwe see a man in a wheelchair for

> instance, or when we see a person whose legs or hands are similar to Nik's,

> and explain that these people do all kinds of things just like they do.

> Just

> becasue you are put together in a different way you are still a human...and

> so on.

>

> Ok, lecture me for be sacharin or unrealistic now.

>

> apryl

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Okay everybody, let's all go out and educate everyday every person who

stares and makes comments. Lets see, that's 365 days a year times an

average of five stares and comments a day.....times how old you are since

you had the ability to educate others.

That means, I as a thirty seven year old have educated over 63,875 people so

far.

So, while that sounds nice, I can't be " ON " 24/ 7. There will be days when

a little boy asks me " are you a mom " and I'll say " no but I'm old enough to

be one " and then ask " why are you so short? " AND THEN IT HITS....(as I see

him with an armful of candy heading for mom's shopping cart) " Because I ate

too much candy when I was your age and not enough vegetables so I stopped

Growing... "

You see, one traumatized little boy who just may cut down on the candy and

eat his vegetables...hmmmmm.....hehe.

It happened yesterday and I am not sorry at all. It must still be that

solar eclipse...bwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaa......

So, while it sounds nice to smile and educate, not everyone is expected to

be on all the time. Education is up to the parents and if they don't

know....THEY CAN FIND OUT!!!

As for the little boy....yes I did set him straight...I just can't be that

mean. :-)

Just my opinion during this solar cycle,

Karin Redston

Karin Redston

Re:

> > Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 3:03 PM

> >

> > From: " whims ivey " <justwhims@...>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > From: Martha Undercoffer <Munderco@...>

> > >

> > > Are there days when such things happen and you just don't feel like

> doing

> > the right thing. I know we should always be helpful and educate the

> public

> > about being a little person, however there are days when I am just not

up

> to

> > the task.

> > > ****** i think like any other physical or mental handicap...that

> " should "

> > just sticks in my craw. we may feel that we have a responsibility to

> > educate, but is that true? i dont feel a responsibility to educate

> someone

> > else's child about sex, or about blindness, or about sign language. even

> tho

> > if i saw a child walking into the street, i certainly would grab the kid

> > before s/he got run over, but the truth is, i have a right to enjoy my

> free

> > time with my family, JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. the *medical field* has the

> > responsibility to educate new physicians about a wide range of handicaps

> so

> > that they can provide appropriate treatment. colleges have the

> > responsibility to educate teachers so that they can do their duty to the

> > children that are entrusted to their care. *Parents * have the

> > responsibility to educate their child to be courteous in their

curiousity

> > about different things, and different people. i may choose to educate a

> > child if they show curiousity, but i *dont* have the responsibility to

do

> > so.

> > whims

> > .

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Well atleast you may have changed his eating habits.!!!!

My thoughts on this issue are pretty plain. When a child as questions I do

try and educate them....afterall they are only kids. I really don't notice

the stares and looks because to tell you the truth having a child of my own

my mind is usually on what he is doing and not someone elses.

My father explained it to me when I was young(he is achon himself). He said

people would stare and some would even be rude but there was no need to

react. That usually ignoring people would leave the negative attention

where it belonged on them...and as for children they weren't being rude just

being children and to answer their question honestly and simply. That is

the plan I use and it seems to have worked for me for almost 30 years....so

I think I am going to stick with it. Just like you Karin I have bad days

where I am not in the mood but usually I think kids are cute...

Just my two cents

as I see

>him with an armful of candy heading for mom's shopping cart) " Because I ate

>too much candy when I was your age and not enough vegetables so I stopped

>Growing... "

>You see, one traumatized little boy who just may cut down on the candy and

>eat his vegetables...hmmmmm.....hehe.