My health

[Guest guest]

Well, everyone, I feel like giving up. I am in so much

pain that I wince with every movement. I am so tired of

putting on a smiling face at work, only to have to lift

a pt or move a stretcher, or lift a 15 pd IV pump. I

wake up in the AM and can barely move. Lately it's been

my feet, calves, and low back. I feel like I'm 100 yrs

old. My calves get so cramped and achey, I just want to

shoot myself because with every step, the pain is

horrendous. I don't want to take narcotics because I

just don't. I take ibuprofen, but it only takes the

edge off. I have 1 doc here in Seattle, and I am afraid

to ask him for any meds for fear he will think I'm drug

seeking. The B12 injections aren't helping. I am tired

of fighting all of this. If I continue to hurt like

this, there is no way that I will be able to continue to

do nursing, at least patient care. I can no longer

handle the physical demands of this job. Yet, I have

only a degree in nursing. Nothing else to fall back on,

and no money to go back to school to get another degree.

I know this is so negative, but I just don't know if I

can continue to fight this cause. Sometimes I feel so

hopeless and have to wonder if we will ever make any

headway with these docs. My doc here in Seattle is

nice, but I wonder if he really understands the whole

implant issue. I doubt it. Along w/ my pain, my

fingers are so swollen. They are like sausages. It's

disgusting.

Something has got to improve or change, or else I will

surely give up this fight.

I am sorry to be so negative, but all my energy is gone

and I'm just so tired of hurting. Nothing works---

nothing.

e

[Guest guest]

Have you tried yoga or pilates? These would probably be really good for your bones and muscles etc. I have been doing them and they feel good, you should get a tape, they are pretty cheap, make sure to get one that doesn't need any equiptment.

Hugs

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 11:41 PM

Subject: My health

Ever since I had that "integrative" massage on Thurs, I have felt like a new person. It made me realize how much toxins had built up in my muscles, not just in my neck and shoulders, but my thoracic and lumbar spine, my arms, hands, and legs. My pain in my neck and low back is virtually gone!! I am going to do this massage once a wk to ensure that the toxins stay out or at least stay minimal. I am drinking that Penta water, and hopefully that, the massage, my multi-vit with antioxidants, my Ca-Mg-Vit D citrate, and my bone stimulator will help improve my health overall.

Now, the only thing I'm concerned about is my neurological problems of dropping things, not being able to state/verbalize what I'm thinking, and stuttering. I have to have these addressed, but I guess it will have to wait until I get back to Denver. I will see if my neurosurgeon, in consult with my neurologist, wants new films/MRI/CT. I can have those done here, but any treatment will have to wait until I get to Denver. But this really is getting me more worried. It's not constant, but seems to be happening more frequently. I'm also having a hard time remembering things. I will have a thought in my head, or want to do something, and then it's just gone. Same exact symtoms as my previous stroke.

But I must admit, that while that massage did hurt, it was worth every ounce of pain and the cost. Everyone keep their fingers crossed that nothing major is going on neurologically.

e