Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

s: To be a Man

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

Guest guest

" Think of two fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

The Widow may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars

and good table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, 'If Huck and Tom were alive

today, they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on

Ritalin.' "

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-jac\

obs_25edi.ART.State.Edition1.77e763e.html

or

http://tinyurl.com/e8jut

s: To be a Man

After years of fighting the obvious and neutralizing gender differences, we

need to give our boys permission ...

06:22 PM CST on Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's amusingly ironic: A " menaissance " is emerging from the belly of the

politically correct beast. In a book recklessly titled Manliness, Harvard

government prof Harvey Mansfield proposes rehabilitating the concept – not

just the qualities of heroism, courage and assertiveness that the term

implies, but their distinctly male incarnations. Manliness, Dr. Mansfield

asserts, is confidence in the face of risk, the kind of brashness that made

Harry Truman declare " the buck stops here " and propelled to face

down the outlaw at high noon. He believes that manliness has lost its place

in a society that denies the differences between the sexes and banishes

gender-specific language. " To the extent that feminism recognizes gender

differences at all, it presents them as bad, and as the fault of men, " he

writes.

Of course, the word is obsolete, except in the ironic sense. Think of the

" manly man's man " skit on Saturday Night Live and its comedic antonym, the

" girly man. " But the reality of " manliness " is still with us, Dr. Mansfield

says. " Young men still pick fights, often with deadly weapons, " he writes.

" What we suffer from today is a lack of intelligent criticism of manliness. "

As the mother of a 16-year-old boy, I'm reading the book because I believe

Dr. Mansfield is wrestling, philosophically, with a question that has

pragmatic implications for our boys.

Raising one boy and one girl, it's obvious to me that the idea that boys and

girls are the " same " (except for their equipment) is patently idiotic. I

cherish my son's abundant " boy energy. " Despite a year of indoctrination in

women's studies in college, I found I didn't have the stomach to fashion him

into a tamely sensitized male. That would deny the essence of who he is. I

love him in part because he's a boy, not in spite of it.

In his book, The Minds of Boys, Gurian points out that boys get the

majority of D's and F's in most schools – in some, as high as 70 percent.

Boys make up 80 percent of our discipline problems. Over 80 percent of

schoolchildren on Ritalin or similar drugs are boys. Of high school

dropouts, the majority are young males. And young men now make up less than

40 percent of our college population.

Mr. Gurian links these difficulties to our schools' inability to handle

boys' natural physical aggressiveness and to teach boys in light of the ways

their brains work so differently from girls'. Mr. Gurian asks: " The question

becomes, should we keep trying to change our boys, or should we change the

educational system in which they are now taught? "

What that really boils down to is our culture's view of manliness. If we're

stuck in a pathologized understanding of manliness – if we can't even say

the word with a straight face – then how can we manage its youthful

equivalent in healthy ways?

Women have always attempted to rein in boys' reckless impulses, Mr. Gurian

says, but feminism made maleness inherently defective. Think of two

fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer. The Widow

may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars and good

table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, " If Huck and Tom were alive today,

they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on Ritalin. "

Mr. Gurian believes the feminist notions that inform our educational system

help girls – a good thing – but hurt boys. The idea that differences between

boys and girls can be neutralized with the right socialization was an

experiment worth trying – but it didn't work. " We can't just teach boys how

to be adults, " he says. " We have to teach them how to be men. "

Encouraging boys to be more sensitive and to express their feelings is fine,

but it won't teach boys how to channel their aggressive " boy energy, " and it

won't keep them from acting out violently. In fact, Mr. Gurian adds, " The

idea that making boys more feminine will solve the problem of male violence

is exactly wrong. " Boys need mentors and male kinship systems that keep

violent impulses in check.

Someone who's doing that with great success is inner-city football coach Joe

Ehrmann, a former star of the Baltimore Colts who has achieved extraordinary

results, on and off the field. Mr. Ehrmann talks to his boys about what it

means to be a man: a person who pursues courageously a cause that's bigger

than himself.

As I was interviewing him, Mr. Ehrmann made a remark I'll never forget: " Any

boy that's willing to pick up a helmet and shoulder pads in August – that's

heroic. They ought to be affirmed for that. "

Before my son was born, I might've disdained that kind of " heroism " ; now Mr.

Ehrmann's comment moves me deeply. I look at my own son – a football player,

despite my best efforts – and wonder, " What is this amazing drive that makes

him choose to get up early on summer mornings to spend hours in the

punishing heat, getting yelled at by coaches and pummeled by teammates? " I

think it's young manliness – an instinct to take risks, to test his courage

and make his mark in the world. Instead of disdaining that, we ought to seek

to understand it and offer more ways for boys to channel it positively.

But first we have to be clear that maleness isn't a pathology that needs to

be medicated, and that testosterone isn't a poison that fuels all of the

world's ills.

We need to love our boys in all their boyness, not in spite of it.

s

is a Dallas freelance writer. Her e-mail address is mary

jacobs44@...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

" Think of two fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

The Widow may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars

and good table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, 'If Huck and Tom were alive

today, they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on

Ritalin.' "

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-jac\

obs_25edi.ART.State.Edition1.77e763e.html

or

http://tinyurl.com/e8jut

s: To be a Man

After years of fighting the obvious and neutralizing gender differences, we

need to give our boys permission ...

06:22 PM CST on Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's amusingly ironic: A " menaissance " is emerging from the belly of the

politically correct beast. In a book recklessly titled Manliness, Harvard

government prof Harvey Mansfield proposes rehabilitating the concept – not

just the qualities of heroism, courage and assertiveness that the term

implies, but their distinctly male incarnations. Manliness, Dr. Mansfield

asserts, is confidence in the face of risk, the kind of brashness that made

Harry Truman declare " the buck stops here " and propelled to face

down the outlaw at high noon. He believes that manliness has lost its place

in a society that denies the differences between the sexes and banishes

gender-specific language. " To the extent that feminism recognizes gender

differences at all, it presents them as bad, and as the fault of men, " he

writes.

Of course, the word is obsolete, except in the ironic sense. Think of the

" manly man's man " skit on Saturday Night Live and its comedic antonym, the

" girly man. " But the reality of " manliness " is still with us, Dr. Mansfield

says. " Young men still pick fights, often with deadly weapons, " he writes.

" What we suffer from today is a lack of intelligent criticism of manliness. "

As the mother of a 16-year-old boy, I'm reading the book because I believe

Dr. Mansfield is wrestling, philosophically, with a question that has

pragmatic implications for our boys.

Raising one boy and one girl, it's obvious to me that the idea that boys and

girls are the " same " (except for their equipment) is patently idiotic. I

cherish my son's abundant " boy energy. " Despite a year of indoctrination in

women's studies in college, I found I didn't have the stomach to fashion him

into a tamely sensitized male. That would deny the essence of who he is. I

love him in part because he's a boy, not in spite of it.

In his book, The Minds of Boys, Gurian points out that boys get the

majority of D's and F's in most schools – in some, as high as 70 percent.

Boys make up 80 percent of our discipline problems. Over 80 percent of

schoolchildren on Ritalin or similar drugs are boys. Of high school

dropouts, the majority are young males. And young men now make up less than

40 percent of our college population.

Mr. Gurian links these difficulties to our schools' inability to handle

boys' natural physical aggressiveness and to teach boys in light of the ways

their brains work so differently from girls'. Mr. Gurian asks: " The question

becomes, should we keep trying to change our boys, or should we change the

educational system in which they are now taught? "

What that really boils down to is our culture's view of manliness. If we're

stuck in a pathologized understanding of manliness – if we can't even say

the word with a straight face – then how can we manage its youthful

equivalent in healthy ways?

Women have always attempted to rein in boys' reckless impulses, Mr. Gurian

says, but feminism made maleness inherently defective. Think of two

fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer. The Widow

may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars and good

table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, " If Huck and Tom were alive today,

they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on Ritalin. "

Mr. Gurian believes the feminist notions that inform our educational system

help girls – a good thing – but hurt boys. The idea that differences between

boys and girls can be neutralized with the right socialization was an

experiment worth trying – but it didn't work. " We can't just teach boys how

to be adults, " he says. " We have to teach them how to be men. "

Encouraging boys to be more sensitive and to express their feelings is fine,

but it won't teach boys how to channel their aggressive " boy energy, " and it

won't keep them from acting out violently. In fact, Mr. Gurian adds, " The

idea that making boys more feminine will solve the problem of male violence

is exactly wrong. " Boys need mentors and male kinship systems that keep

violent impulses in check.

Someone who's doing that with great success is inner-city football coach Joe

Ehrmann, a former star of the Baltimore Colts who has achieved extraordinary

results, on and off the field. Mr. Ehrmann talks to his boys about what it

means to be a man: a person who pursues courageously a cause that's bigger

than himself.

As I was interviewing him, Mr. Ehrmann made a remark I'll never forget: " Any

boy that's willing to pick up a helmet and shoulder pads in August – that's

heroic. They ought to be affirmed for that. "

Before my son was born, I might've disdained that kind of " heroism " ; now Mr.

Ehrmann's comment moves me deeply. I look at my own son – a football player,

despite my best efforts – and wonder, " What is this amazing drive that makes

him choose to get up early on summer mornings to spend hours in the

punishing heat, getting yelled at by coaches and pummeled by teammates? " I

think it's young manliness – an instinct to take risks, to test his courage

and make his mark in the world. Instead of disdaining that, we ought to seek

to understand it and offer more ways for boys to channel it positively.

But first we have to be clear that maleness isn't a pathology that needs to

be medicated, and that testosterone isn't a poison that fuels all of the

world's ills.

We need to love our boys in all their boyness, not in spite of it.

s

is a Dallas freelance writer. Her e-mail address is mary

jacobs44@...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

" Think of two fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

The Widow may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars

and good table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, 'If Huck and Tom were alive

today, they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on

Ritalin.' "

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-jac\

obs_25edi.ART.State.Edition1.77e763e.html

or

http://tinyurl.com/e8jut

s: To be a Man

After years of fighting the obvious and neutralizing gender differences, we

need to give our boys permission ...

06:22 PM CST on Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's amusingly ironic: A " menaissance " is emerging from the belly of the

politically correct beast. In a book recklessly titled Manliness, Harvard

government prof Harvey Mansfield proposes rehabilitating the concept – not

just the qualities of heroism, courage and assertiveness that the term

implies, but their distinctly male incarnations. Manliness, Dr. Mansfield

asserts, is confidence in the face of risk, the kind of brashness that made

Harry Truman declare " the buck stops here " and propelled to face

down the outlaw at high noon. He believes that manliness has lost its place

in a society that denies the differences between the sexes and banishes

gender-specific language. " To the extent that feminism recognizes gender

differences at all, it presents them as bad, and as the fault of men, " he

writes.

Of course, the word is obsolete, except in the ironic sense. Think of the

" manly man's man " skit on Saturday Night Live and its comedic antonym, the

" girly man. " But the reality of " manliness " is still with us, Dr. Mansfield

says. " Young men still pick fights, often with deadly weapons, " he writes.

" What we suffer from today is a lack of intelligent criticism of manliness. "

As the mother of a 16-year-old boy, I'm reading the book because I believe

Dr. Mansfield is wrestling, philosophically, with a question that has

pragmatic implications for our boys.

Raising one boy and one girl, it's obvious to me that the idea that boys and

girls are the " same " (except for their equipment) is patently idiotic. I

cherish my son's abundant " boy energy. " Despite a year of indoctrination in

women's studies in college, I found I didn't have the stomach to fashion him

into a tamely sensitized male. That would deny the essence of who he is. I

love him in part because he's a boy, not in spite of it.

In his book, The Minds of Boys, Gurian points out that boys get the

majority of D's and F's in most schools – in some, as high as 70 percent.

Boys make up 80 percent of our discipline problems. Over 80 percent of

schoolchildren on Ritalin or similar drugs are boys. Of high school

dropouts, the majority are young males. And young men now make up less than

40 percent of our college population.

Mr. Gurian links these difficulties to our schools' inability to handle

boys' natural physical aggressiveness and to teach boys in light of the ways

their brains work so differently from girls'. Mr. Gurian asks: " The question

becomes, should we keep trying to change our boys, or should we change the

educational system in which they are now taught? "

What that really boils down to is our culture's view of manliness. If we're

stuck in a pathologized understanding of manliness – if we can't even say

the word with a straight face – then how can we manage its youthful

equivalent in healthy ways?

Women have always attempted to rein in boys' reckless impulses, Mr. Gurian

says, but feminism made maleness inherently defective. Think of two

fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer. The Widow

may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars and good

table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, " If Huck and Tom were alive today,

they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on Ritalin. "

Mr. Gurian believes the feminist notions that inform our educational system

help girls – a good thing – but hurt boys. The idea that differences between

boys and girls can be neutralized with the right socialization was an

experiment worth trying – but it didn't work. " We can't just teach boys how

to be adults, " he says. " We have to teach them how to be men. "

Encouraging boys to be more sensitive and to express their feelings is fine,

but it won't teach boys how to channel their aggressive " boy energy, " and it

won't keep them from acting out violently. In fact, Mr. Gurian adds, " The

idea that making boys more feminine will solve the problem of male violence

is exactly wrong. " Boys need mentors and male kinship systems that keep

violent impulses in check.

Someone who's doing that with great success is inner-city football coach Joe

Ehrmann, a former star of the Baltimore Colts who has achieved extraordinary

results, on and off the field. Mr. Ehrmann talks to his boys about what it

means to be a man: a person who pursues courageously a cause that's bigger

than himself.

As I was interviewing him, Mr. Ehrmann made a remark I'll never forget: " Any

boy that's willing to pick up a helmet and shoulder pads in August – that's

heroic. They ought to be affirmed for that. "

Before my son was born, I might've disdained that kind of " heroism " ; now Mr.

Ehrmann's comment moves me deeply. I look at my own son – a football player,

despite my best efforts – and wonder, " What is this amazing drive that makes

him choose to get up early on summer mornings to spend hours in the

punishing heat, getting yelled at by coaches and pummeled by teammates? " I

think it's young manliness – an instinct to take risks, to test his courage

and make his mark in the world. Instead of disdaining that, we ought to seek

to understand it and offer more ways for boys to channel it positively.

But first we have to be clear that maleness isn't a pathology that needs to

be medicated, and that testosterone isn't a poison that fuels all of the

world's ills.

We need to love our boys in all their boyness, not in spite of it.

s

is a Dallas freelance writer. Her e-mail address is mary

jacobs44@...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

" Think of two fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

The Widow may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars

and good table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, 'If Huck and Tom were alive

today, they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on

Ritalin.' "

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-jac\

obs_25edi.ART.State.Edition1.77e763e.html

or

http://tinyurl.com/e8jut

s: To be a Man

After years of fighting the obvious and neutralizing gender differences, we

need to give our boys permission ...

06:22 PM CST on Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's amusingly ironic: A " menaissance " is emerging from the belly of the

politically correct beast. In a book recklessly titled Manliness, Harvard

government prof Harvey Mansfield proposes rehabilitating the concept – not

just the qualities of heroism, courage and assertiveness that the term

implies, but their distinctly male incarnations. Manliness, Dr. Mansfield

asserts, is confidence in the face of risk, the kind of brashness that made

Harry Truman declare " the buck stops here " and propelled to face

down the outlaw at high noon. He believes that manliness has lost its place

in a society that denies the differences between the sexes and banishes

gender-specific language. " To the extent that feminism recognizes gender

differences at all, it presents them as bad, and as the fault of men, " he

writes.

Of course, the word is obsolete, except in the ironic sense. Think of the

" manly man's man " skit on Saturday Night Live and its comedic antonym, the

" girly man. " But the reality of " manliness " is still with us, Dr. Mansfield

says. " Young men still pick fights, often with deadly weapons, " he writes.

" What we suffer from today is a lack of intelligent criticism of manliness. "

As the mother of a 16-year-old boy, I'm reading the book because I believe

Dr. Mansfield is wrestling, philosophically, with a question that has

pragmatic implications for our boys.

Raising one boy and one girl, it's obvious to me that the idea that boys and

girls are the " same " (except for their equipment) is patently idiotic. I

cherish my son's abundant " boy energy. " Despite a year of indoctrination in

women's studies in college, I found I didn't have the stomach to fashion him

into a tamely sensitized male. That would deny the essence of who he is. I

love him in part because he's a boy, not in spite of it.

In his book, The Minds of Boys, Gurian points out that boys get the

majority of D's and F's in most schools – in some, as high as 70 percent.

Boys make up 80 percent of our discipline problems. Over 80 percent of

schoolchildren on Ritalin or similar drugs are boys. Of high school

dropouts, the majority are young males. And young men now make up less than

40 percent of our college population.

Mr. Gurian links these difficulties to our schools' inability to handle

boys' natural physical aggressiveness and to teach boys in light of the ways

their brains work so differently from girls'. Mr. Gurian asks: " The question

becomes, should we keep trying to change our boys, or should we change the

educational system in which they are now taught? "

What that really boils down to is our culture's view of manliness. If we're

stuck in a pathologized understanding of manliness – if we can't even say

the word with a straight face – then how can we manage its youthful

equivalent in healthy ways?

Women have always attempted to rein in boys' reckless impulses, Mr. Gurian

says, but feminism made maleness inherently defective. Think of two

fictional icons of American boyhood, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer. The Widow

may have attempted to civilize them with starched collars and good

table manners, but Mr. Gurian says, " If Huck and Tom were alive today,

they'd probably be diagnosed with a conduct disorder and put on Ritalin. "

Mr. Gurian believes the feminist notions that inform our educational system

help girls – a good thing – but hurt boys. The idea that differences between

boys and girls can be neutralized with the right socialization was an

experiment worth trying – but it didn't work. " We can't just teach boys how

to be adults, " he says. " We have to teach them how to be men. "

Encouraging boys to be more sensitive and to express their feelings is fine,

but it won't teach boys how to channel their aggressive " boy energy, " and it

won't keep them from acting out violently. In fact, Mr. Gurian adds, " The

idea that making boys more feminine will solve the problem of male violence

is exactly wrong. " Boys need mentors and male kinship systems that keep

violent impulses in check.

Someone who's doing that with great success is inner-city football coach Joe

Ehrmann, a former star of the Baltimore Colts who has achieved extraordinary

results, on and off the field. Mr. Ehrmann talks to his boys about what it

means to be a man: a person who pursues courageously a cause that's bigger

than himself.

As I was interviewing him, Mr. Ehrmann made a remark I'll never forget: " Any

boy that's willing to pick up a helmet and shoulder pads in August – that's

heroic. They ought to be affirmed for that. "

Before my son was born, I might've disdained that kind of " heroism " ; now Mr.

Ehrmann's comment moves me deeply. I look at my own son – a football player,

despite my best efforts – and wonder, " What is this amazing drive that makes

him choose to get up early on summer mornings to spend hours in the

punishing heat, getting yelled at by coaches and pummeled by teammates? " I

think it's young manliness – an instinct to take risks, to test his courage

and make his mark in the world. Instead of disdaining that, we ought to seek

to understand it and offer more ways for boys to channel it positively.

But first we have to be clear that maleness isn't a pathology that needs to

be medicated, and that testosterone isn't a poison that fuels all of the

world's ills.

We need to love our boys in all their boyness, not in spite of it.

s

is a Dallas freelance writer. Her e-mail address is mary

jacobs44@...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...