Phil Spector

February 5, 2003

OMG! I laughed my ass off. In 1980, I was in a recording studio working on

a project and Phil was working on two projects simultaneously, each studio on

opposite ends of the corridor. He used to roller skate down the hallway, a

gun in one hand and a vial of coke in the other. He was notorious for this

kind of behavior. My ex also told me some wild stories of having worked with

this guy and you'd have to ask the basic question of which came first -- the

insanity or the drugs!

Glitter, author of <A HREF= " http://anxiety-panic.com/griffon " >Blind Reason</A>

February 5, 2003

OMG! I laughed my ass off. In 1980, I was in a recording studio working on

a project and Phil was working on two projects simultaneously, each studio on

opposite ends of the corridor. He used to roller skate down the hallway, a

gun in one hand and a vial of coke in the other. He was notorious for this

kind of behavior. My ex also told me some wild stories of having worked with

this guy and you'd have to ask the basic question of which came first -- the

insanity or the drugs!

Glitter, author of <A HREF= " http://anxiety-panic.com/griffon " >Blind Reason</A>

February 5, 2003

In a message dated 2/5/03 3:04:18 PM Mountain Standard Time,

heather_buggy@... writes:

> do da

>

And don't forget " da do run run. " Yep, yep, I know some of those people,

too. And they all lied to their shrinks, mostly to get downers to come off

the coke buzz. It used to be that they'd cop benzos, but now they benzos are

replaced with SSRIs so they're really in deep do do - da do run run.

Glitter, author of <A HREF= " http://anxiety-panic.com/griffon " >Blind Reason</A>

February 5, 2003

In a message dated 2/5/03 3:04:18 PM Mountain Standard Time,

heather_buggy@... writes:

> do da

>

And don't forget " da do run run. " Yep, yep, I know some of those people,

too. And they all lied to their shrinks, mostly to get downers to come off

the coke buzz. It used to be that they'd cop benzos, but now they benzos are

replaced with SSRIs so they're really in deep do do - da do run run.

Glitter, author of <A HREF= " http://anxiety-panic.com/griffon " >Blind Reason</A>

February 5, 2003

Let me just say that if being a total asshole were deemed a disorder, it'd

be epidemic. Wonder what pill they'll come up with for that...I'm so sick

of people with no self-governance and a rotten attitude using mental illness

as an excuse for their behavior...precisely why NAMI is so full of

crap...instead of working to de-stigmatize mental illness and thus make it

an even more profitable industry, why not work to stigmatize lifelong

abusive jerks?

I'M TORTURED BY INNER DEVILS

By MARSHA KRANES

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ON THE RECORD:

Actress Lana son was allegedly shot dead early Monday by music whiz

Phil Spector, who admitted in a recent interview that he's " bipolar " and

" relatively insane. "

- Reuters

February 5, 2003 --

Eccentric pop impresario Phil Spector admitted to having " devils inside that

fight me, " just weeks before he was busted for first-degree murder.

In a candid interview - his first in 25 years - the reclusive rock legend

bared his tortured soul to London Daily Telegraph reporter Mick Brown and

declared, " I'm my own worst enemy. "

" I have not been well, " Spector, 62, confided as he sat hunched on a sofa in

the suburban Los Angeles mansion where police say he fatally shot actress

Lana son early Monday morning.

The music genius said he was " crippled inside " and " probably relatively

insane " - although he was slowly emerging from more than 20 years of

self-imposed exile.

" I wasn't well enough to function as a regular part of society, so I didn't.

I chose not to, " he said.

" I am trying to get my life reasonable, " he said. " I'm not going to ever be

happy. Happiness isn't on . . . but being reasonable is an approach. "

He discussed the past - and how as a small, scrawny, asthmatic kid growing

up in The Bronx, he was always an outsider, " always different. " But he was

determined to overcome it and make it big.

After his first success in the music business, as

songwriter-singer-guitarist, he decided he " wanted to be in the background,

but I wanted to be important in the background. "

" I knew that Mozart was more important than his operas, " he said, " that

Beethoven was more important than whoever was playing or conducting his

music. That's what I wanted to be. "

But as rich and famous as he became, he never belonged.

" I was different . . . I look strange, I act strange, I make these strange

records . . . Even when the music became big, I never felt like I fitted

in. "

By 1980, he had retreated into a world of his own.

How did he spend his time?

" I don't remember. I don't think it was a particularly good time. "

Spector said he began seeing a psychiatrist in 1960, but the therapy wasn't

enough.

" There's something I'd either not accepted, or I'm not prepared to accept or

live with in my life, that I don't know about perhaps, that I'm facing now, "

he said.

Noting that his parents were first cousins, he said, " I don't know,

genetically, whether or not that had something to do with what I am or who I

became. I would say I'm probably relatively insane, to an extent. "

After a brief pause, he repeated, " to an extent. "

Then he continued, " I take medication for schizophrenia, but I wouldn't say

I'm schizophrenic. But I have a bipolar personality, which is strange. I'm

my own worst enemy. "

He described his years as a recluse, his difficulty being with people and

being with himself, his chronic insomnia.

" You don't sleep, your mind starts playing tricks on you. It's a terrible

situation . . . I couldn't stand the way I was anymore, " he said.

He said he was " petrified, " especially about how his condition would affect

his daughter , who is now 20.

" Even if she genetically was well, I worried that as she grew up, by seeing

me as an example, she would become unwell herself and be attracted to men

like that - manic depressive, or psychotic or cuckoo, " he said.

" And I wanted to have a healthier relationship with her than I could have as

a neurotic, sick person. I wanted her to look up to me and say, 'This is

what a reasonable man is like.' "

So he sought help and began taking medication to help him sleep and moderate

his moods.

" I just told myself that I would beat it. That I would beat my own brain . .

.. It's been very slow, very difficult. "

He told Brown, " I'm a completely different person than I was three months

ago, six months ago, nine months ago. "

He said he plans to return to the studio, explaining:

" It's where I feel comfortable, where I feel reasonable. "

He noted, " People tell me they idolize me, want to be like me, but I tell

them, 'Trust me, you don't want my life.' Because it hasn't been a very

pleasant life. I've been a tortured soul. I have not been at peace with

myself.

" I have not been happy. "

_________________________________________________________________

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February 5, 2003

Let me just say that if being a total asshole were deemed a disorder, it'd

be epidemic. Wonder what pill they'll come up with for that...I'm so sick

of people with no self-governance and a rotten attitude using mental illness

as an excuse for their behavior...precisely why NAMI is so full of

crap...instead of working to de-stigmatize mental illness and thus make it

an even more profitable industry, why not work to stigmatize lifelong

abusive jerks?

I'M TORTURED BY INNER DEVILS

By MARSHA KRANES

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ON THE RECORD:

Actress Lana son was allegedly shot dead early Monday by music whiz

Phil Spector, who admitted in a recent interview that he's " bipolar " and

" relatively insane. "

- Reuters

February 5, 2003 --

Eccentric pop impresario Phil Spector admitted to having " devils inside that

fight me, " just weeks before he was busted for first-degree murder.

In a candid interview - his first in 25 years - the reclusive rock legend

bared his tortured soul to London Daily Telegraph reporter Mick Brown and

declared, " I'm my own worst enemy. "

" I have not been well, " Spector, 62, confided as he sat hunched on a sofa in

the suburban Los Angeles mansion where police say he fatally shot actress

Lana son early Monday morning.

The music genius said he was " crippled inside " and " probably relatively

insane " - although he was slowly emerging from more than 20 years of

self-imposed exile.

" I wasn't well enough to function as a regular part of society, so I didn't.

I chose not to, " he said.

" I am trying to get my life reasonable, " he said. " I'm not going to ever be

happy. Happiness isn't on . . . but being reasonable is an approach. "

He discussed the past - and how as a small, scrawny, asthmatic kid growing

up in The Bronx, he was always an outsider, " always different. " But he was

determined to overcome it and make it big.

After his first success in the music business, as

songwriter-singer-guitarist, he decided he " wanted to be in the background,

but I wanted to be important in the background. "

" I knew that Mozart was more important than his operas, " he said, " that

Beethoven was more important than whoever was playing or conducting his

music. That's what I wanted to be. "

But as rich and famous as he became, he never belonged.

" I was different . . . I look strange, I act strange, I make these strange

records . . . Even when the music became big, I never felt like I fitted

in. "

By 1980, he had retreated into a world of his own.

How did he spend his time?

" I don't remember. I don't think it was a particularly good time. "

Spector said he began seeing a psychiatrist in 1960, but the therapy wasn't

enough.

" There's something I'd either not accepted, or I'm not prepared to accept or

live with in my life, that I don't know about perhaps, that I'm facing now, "

he said.

Noting that his parents were first cousins, he said, " I don't know,

genetically, whether or not that had something to do with what I am or who I

became. I would say I'm probably relatively insane, to an extent. "

After a brief pause, he repeated, " to an extent. "

Then he continued, " I take medication for schizophrenia, but I wouldn't say

I'm schizophrenic. But I have a bipolar personality, which is strange. I'm

my own worst enemy. "

He described his years as a recluse, his difficulty being with people and

being with himself, his chronic insomnia.

" You don't sleep, your mind starts playing tricks on you. It's a terrible

situation . . . I couldn't stand the way I was anymore, " he said.

He said he was " petrified, " especially about how his condition would affect

his daughter , who is now 20.

" Even if she genetically was well, I worried that as she grew up, by seeing

me as an example, she would become unwell herself and be attracted to men

like that - manic depressive, or psychotic or cuckoo, " he said.

" And I wanted to have a healthier relationship with her than I could have as

a neurotic, sick person. I wanted her to look up to me and say, 'This is

what a reasonable man is like.' "

So he sought help and began taking medication to help him sleep and moderate

his moods.

" I just told myself that I would beat it. That I would beat my own brain . .

.. It's been very slow, very difficult. "

He told Brown, " I'm a completely different person than I was three months

ago, six months ago, nine months ago. "

He said he plans to return to the studio, explaining:

" It's where I feel comfortable, where I feel reasonable. "

He noted, " People tell me they idolize me, want to be like me, but I tell

them, 'Trust me, you don't want my life.' Because it hasn't been a very

pleasant life. I've been a tortured soul. I have not been at peace with

myself.

" I have not been happy. "

_________________________________________________________________

MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.

http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus

February 5, 2003

I know, don cha luv it...let's see, snort coke for thirty years, screw over

everyone you've ever worked with for monetary gain, carry a gun and even

pull it on your artists as he did with the Ramones, make everyone hate your

guts with your abusive behavior, then come tell me you're bipolar...do da

lang do lang lang!!! Sorry Phil, it's simply being a rotten

guy...unfortunately, I know two people at this moment who are long-time

cocaine abusers who are also 'depressed' and on multiple-meds...how many

folks are going to shrinks for cocaine-induced depression? You know they

aren't being honest with the doctors, or they would be diagnosed with

substance-abuse and put in rehab rather than given a free pass to continue

their behavior...I have a feeling this is more widespread than we think...I

know ecstasy causes massive depression as well--they give rehabbed rave kids

ssris to make up for the 'loss' of serotonin...actually, those kids could

use a heavy dose of complete sobriety!

>From: glitterari@...

>Reply-SSRI medications

>SSRI medications

>Subject: Re: Phil Spector

>Date: Wed, 5 Feb 2003 16:15:33 EST

>

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February 5, 2003