Achiever's Disease?

January 12, 2005

(Jeesh, and i thought people like this were simply assholes! Who knew they

had OCB--Obsessive Compulsive Bi-Polar, a new diagnosis? Anti-psychotics

appear to work best for these poor creeps? I have a new diagnosis to add to

the list of characteristics at bottom--CPD. Capitalist Pig Disorder, when

successful businessmen treat people like dirt as they become more and more

rich. This has to be one of the most idiotic 'advice' columns i've read,

lately. Pure garbage...)

http://www.fastcompany.com/resources/leadership/goulston/122004.html

Do You Have Achiever's Disease?

A reader writes in, sharing a story of truly extreme leadership -- and its

down side.

Dear Dr. G,

I'm a highly successful business leader, and I'm not using my name because

everyone knows it. I'm talented, I've worked hard, and I deserve my

reputation as a power player in the business world because I'm willing to

take risks that others won't. I'm one of the few " Oh yeah? Just watch me! "

people who routinely do the impossible. I'm at my best when conventional

wisdom and conventional rules just don't cut it.

My problem is that the risks I take professionally earn admiration, but

those that I take privately -- like gambling, getting high, having affairs

once in a while -- are causing embarrassment and humiliation. And it's

getting worse.

I know I'm a basically good guy, but I have to admit that I have hurt more

than a few people along the way. To be honest, I've even betrayed some of

the people who have trusted and cared about me most, and I've lied to cover

it up.

In my heart, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that I've always done

things my way, and my way works so incredibly well -- at least

professionally. The worst part is how much I've hurt my family and friends.

I'm afraid that if I let some shrink start playing around with my

personality, I'll lose that competitive edge that made me successful in the

first place. But I've got to do something. What?

-- Exception to the Rules in Los Angeles

Dear Exception,

Here's your choice. You're either immoral or you're sick. Pick your poison.

But if you're really a bad person, I doubt you would have written.

Over the past 10 years, I've treated many business leaders with problems

painfully similar to yours. All those people were powerful, driven, and

successful. They also hurt people without really meaning to. There have been

so many of them lately that I came up with a name for the condition: OCB.

You may have heard of OCD, which stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

OCB stands for Obsessive Compulsive Bipolar . It's more of a condition than

a disorder because OCBs often function quite highly, even though their

personal lives are usually a mess.

They differ from pure bipolar (or manic-depressive) people. When bipolar

people become manic, they go off the deep end into psychosis, occasionally

breaking the law and frequently ending up in a hospital. Even so, they do it

with a smile, because they feel invincible and free when they are manic.

OCBs don't go to those extremes. Their obsessive-compulsive traits work like

emergency brakes, pulling them back just before they go over either edge.

People with OCB don't lose touch with reality, just with common sense.

Generally regarded as exceptional because of their formidable abilities,

they come to believe they're exceptions to the rules that apply to everyone

else. They tend to disregard the possible consequences of their behavior.

Sometimes they're even surprised when those consequences are disastrous.

Compelled to seek the exhilaration of their " controlled " mania, their life

becomes like a roller coaster. They don't get real joy or contentment on the

ride, but it is exciting, and they're not necessarily unhappy.

It's their friends, partners (usually female, because OCB men outnumber

women four to one), and children who are miserable. It's they who must live

with the OCB's unpredictability, his inability to give them undivided

attention, his lack of emotional understanding, and his failure to make good

on promises to reform.

One woman compared life with her OCB husband to riding with him in a

Porsche, blasting along curvy Mulholland Drive at sixty miles per hour. " He

tells me to just cool it -- he's in complete control as he downshifts and

the tires screech, " she said. " He probably does feel more in control,

feeling the wheels touching the road while he shifts and accelerates. On the

other hand, I don't feel anything other than scared silly and totally at his

mercy. Sometimes I dig my fingernails into the dashboard, and it irritates

the hell out of him. "

People with OCB are addicted to excitement and power. Power is the toughest

mistress to compete against. In fact the seductive attraction of mistresses

is that they make an OCB man feel powerful and even heroic in ways that his

wife or girlfriend no longer does.

When power and excitement are present, OCB people are sharp, goal-directed,

amazingly effective and productive. When these feelings are missing, they

become unfocused, listless, and irritable. It's the moodiness and their

tendency to over-control that prompts psychiatrists to treat them with

antidepressants like Prozac, Paxil, or Zoloft (these drugs, called SSRI's,

are used to treat depression and OCD, to help people " lighten up " ).

Frequently this is insufficient, because treating OCB people with only

SSRI's is like trying to control boiling water by putting a lid on the pot.

The lid won't help unless you take the pot off the fire. In fact, putting a

lid on boiling water only adds to the pressure. Similarly, giving only an

anti-depressant to someone who has a concurrent bipolar component can make

matters worse by causing him to become more manic.

What does seem to help is a combination of an SSRI and a mood stabilizer

such as lithium, Tegretol, Depakote, or Lamictal. And if you're in the midst

of a skid and need brake pads to keep from going out of control, medications

like Zyprexa, Geodon, or Abilify can keep you on the road. These medications

for bipolar disorders help turn down the flame or from going off a cliff.

Psychiatrists are increasingly using combinations of these medications as

the complexity of these conditions has increased. As the intensity of the

OCB lessens, patients find calm and often a new kind of non-frenetic energy.

One patient was so relieved, he called me in tears. " I'm normal! " he said.

" All my life, I thought normal was for everyone else. You know? Success

doesn't make up for feeling like a mental misfit! "

After medications have effectively stopped the Porsche by removing the keys,

individual and couples therapy can help a patient and partner develop a

healthier relationship -- now that they have slowed down enough to put some

emotion into it. Insight therapy might also help, since there's usually some

childhood abuse, neglect or dysfunction that contributes to (but alone

doesn't cause) OCB.

Pretty soon OCB people listen better, are more " present " and see the quality

of all their relationships improve. One treated dad started to cry as he

told me about reading his 5-year-old a bedtime story. For the first time, he

was emotionally " there, " not just mouthing the words with his mind miles

away.

There are a couple final reasons to get your OCB taken care of sooner rather

than later -- peace of mind and increasing your chances of getting into

heaven. Years ago I made house calls to a corporate giant dying of cancer.

He also had OCB, having thought he was above the consequences of alcohol and

cigarettes. A few weeks before he died, he talked about something that had

been tormenting him. " I don't think I've ever done anything important in

life, " he said. I tried to reassure him that he had started an industry,

created hundreds if not thousands of jobs, and had a lot to be proud of. He

thought I was trying to manipulate him into a solace he didn't deserve.

" Yeah sure, " he said, " but what about the two wives I ruined and my three

loser kids on drugs who'll never amount to anything? "

Because he was like other people with OCB and never meant to hurt anyone,

I'm sure he made it into heaven. But it probably wasn't a slam dunk.

OCB's Dirty Dozen

Sound like anyone you know?

Powerful, charismatic, larger-than-life; takes professional and creative

risks and often succeeds because his exceptional instincts and abilities

override professional shortcomings.

Fiercely competitive; a terrible and often vindictive loser.

Superficially compassionate and empathic in public, but mercurial and

evasive when it comes to deep emotional closeness.

Emotionally distant and cold towards spouse, who sees through his

self-serving veneer and often views him contemptuously as an opportunistic

liar; not obviously distant, but usually mentally preoccupied when with his

children (cell-phone dad).

Often married to a strong woman who keeps him grounded early in the

relationship; later resentment develops as he feels spouse try to control

him.

Surrounds self with sycophants; if he has affairs, they're usually with

emotionally dependent, needy women who make him feel like a hero (although

the women may turn out to have ulterior motives).

Does not feel he is doing anything wrong if he is not consciously doing

anything to hurt anyone.

Longstanding pattern, usually dating back to college, of driven, controlled

and controlling behavior, periodically interrupted by impulsive and reckless

behavior.

Long history of seeking out exciting and risky situations that provide an

adrenaline rush.

Grandiosity, usually manifested as reckless behavior with a disregard for

consequences and even surprise when negative ones occur.

Depression usually expressed as moodiness, impatience, annoyance,

irritability and emotional withdrawal.

Dabbles with cocaine or speed (rarely reaching the need for rehab), which

helps him to feel powerful and effective; causes him to be confused with

people who have Attention Deficit Disorder. If you've observed six or more

of the above traits over a period of many years, there is a high likelihood

of OCB.

If you've observed six or more of the above traits over a period of many

years, there is a high likelihood of OCB.

January 12, 2005