more on body image issues

[Guest guest]

Here I am getting ready to go work out again, and sure part of it is

for my health and all, but I am (I ADMIT IT) obsessed again with the

whole breast thing, everytime we watch tv or rent a movie I am

constantly searching for the girls who are small like me, at church I

do it, in fact I do it everywhere. i get compliments on my figure,

but naked I am ashamed of my breasts, they seem so small, and

unattractive, the scars are gone, but I have stretch marks bigger

than my almost invisible incisions and I hate them. There is nothing

I can do to make them go away or look better, so I am lifting weight

and trying to work on other things, how do I just accept it, in the

back of my mind I keep thinking what if there was another type of

implant that was safe, but I know if I ever did that again I would

have the whole fear thing in my head, everyache or pain or anything I

would think it was from that, so that is obviously not the answer, I

just feel so unnattractive, my husband loves me, and says I am

perfect the way god made me, but see this is what I did to myself,

not how god made me, I was once at least a B cup, saggy ok, but

better than this A cup that I am barely now after the explant and

lift, and yes they are perkier, but everytime I have to look at some

model who has a perfect pair of breasts and a seemingly perfect life,

health etc, it bums me out, makes me wonder why me, and why can't I

just move on and get over it. I can only continue on my path of

healing and praying and asking god to help me accept myself as a

beautiful strong woman who has been through hell and come out pretty

darned good in the end.

I guess I needed to vent a bit. If only I had appreciated my body

more when I was younger, it is funny how I was so insecure in my

teens and early twenties, when my body was perfect and didn't

appreciate it at all, it is funny how we change, now that I am

confident enough to wear bikinis and skimpy summer clothes I cant do

it, well I still do, with my waterbra, but I admit in certain

situations I still miss the way I looked with those perfect boobs,

even if they weren't really perfect, you guys know what I mean, I

want to feel good about my body and not ashamed about my breasts,

this may just take me years to recover, but hopefully someday I will

and I am working hard on the rest of me so that helps a bit.

Thanks for listening to me again!

[Guest guest]

,

I want to remind you that I was a high fashion model in

my late teens and early 20's. I can reassure you that

those models do not have great bodies. Many of them

have very small breasts, and in order to make them look

larger, they are taped, to create the illusion of larger

breasts and cleavage. Yes, some models do have

implants, but the majority don't. Also, models look

awful without makeup. If you ever saw a model without

her makeup on like I have, you'd be shocked. Most of us

would walk around with bags under our eyes, acne from

stress and long hrs, and our hair really is not as shiny

and glossy as it looks in the ads. Plus, many models,

including myself, were anorexic or bulimic, and were

always throwing up so in general, we all just looked

awful. You'd be amazed at how cameras, makeup and

clothes, coupled with the right photographer and air

brushing can make an average woman look like a sex

goddess. But please don't be fooled into thinking that

these women have big beautiful breasts. They are taped

97% of the time, and most models are very small chested

and do the same things you do to look larger---padded

bras, miracle bras, etc.

e

> Here I am getting ready to go work out again, and sure part of it is

> for my health and all, but I am (I ADMIT IT) obsessed again with the

> whole breast thing, everytime we watch tv or rent a movie I am

> constantly searching for the girls who are small like me, at church I

> do it, in fact I do it everywhere. i get compliments on my figure,

> but naked I am ashamed of my breasts, they seem so small, and

> unattractive, the scars are gone, but I have stretch marks bigger

> than my almost invisible incisions and I hate them. There is nothing

> I can do to make them go away or look better, so I am lifting weight

> and trying to work on other things, how do I just accept it, in the

> back of my mind I keep thinking what if there was another type of

> implant that was safe, but I know if I ever did that again I would

> have the whole fear thing in my head, everyache or pain or anything I

> would think it was from that, so that is obviously not the answer, I

> just feel so unnattractive, my husband loves me, and says I am

> perfect the way god made me, but see this is what I did to myself,

> not how god made me, I was once at least a B cup, saggy ok, but

> better than this A cup that I am barely now after the explant and

> lift, and yes they are perkier, but everytime I have to look at some

> model who has a perfect pair of breasts and a seemingly perfect life,

> health etc, it bums me out, makes me wonder why me, and why can't I

> just move on and get over it. I can only continue on my path of

> healing and praying and asking god to help me accept myself as a

> beautiful strong woman who has been through hell and come out pretty

> darned good in the end.

>

> I guess I needed to vent a bit. If only I had appreciated my body

> more when I was younger, it is funny how I was so insecure in my

> teens and early twenties, when my body was perfect and didn't

> appreciate it at all, it is funny how we change, now that I am

> confident enough to wear bikinis and skimpy summer clothes I cant do

> it, well I still do, with my waterbra, but I admit in certain

> situations I still miss the way I looked with those perfect boobs,

> even if they weren't really perfect, you guys know what I mean, I

> want to feel good about my body and not ashamed about my breasts,

> this may just take me years to recover, but hopefully someday I will

> and I am working hard on the rest of me so that helps a bit.

>

> Thanks for listening to me again!

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Carey,

I am so lucky that I am happy with my body....now. I never used to be and that is what led me to implants in the first place. It took me up until a few years ago to stop striving for the utmost perfection in myself and seeing only the bad when I looked in the mirror. I started out by re-wording any citicisms I had about my body and turned them into something positive. At first it was diffucult but as I forced myself each day to face up to being nice to myself I eventually became my own best friend. I'm not perfect and now the nice difference is, I don't want to be perfect. I really like myself the way I am. I would love to have a full chest like I did with the implants but that ain't gonna happen in my lifetime again so I've decided I don't look too bad for an old broad of 42 (hehe) with small boobs.

Carey some days I can't help but notice all the boobs around me. Women have them everywhere and even the youngest of teens are huge now. Who wouldn't notice them? The trick is to accept yourself for who and what you are darlin, not who you want to be. It's been 3 months since my explant and I've been thru various stages including wearing padding in my bra to look bigger. I questioned myself one day as to why I was doing it and realized I was allowing my insecurity to over-rule my confidence. Once I was aware of what I was doing I put the padding away and couldn't be happier with myself. Learn to love yourself Carey just the way you are. You'll be amazed at how wonderful that feels.

Carey those perfect boobs made you sick so how perfect can they be and if you have a husband that loves you the way you are then half of your battle is over. You just need to accept and love yourself.

Jackie

----- Original Message -----

From: cjheer@...

Sent: Monday, September 03, 2001 6:01 AM

Subject: more on body image issues

Here I am getting ready to go work out again, and sure part of it is for my health and all, but I am (I ADMIT IT) obsessed again with the whole breast thing, everytime we watch tv or rent a movie I am constantly searching for the girls who are small like me, at church I do it, in fact I do it everywhere. i get compliments on my figure, but naked I am ashamed of my breasts, they seem so small, and unattractive, the scars are gone, but I have stretch marks bigger than my almost invisible incisions and I hate them. There is nothing I can do to make them go away or look better, so I am lifting weight and trying to work on other things, how do I just accept it, in the back of my mind I keep thinking what if there was another type of implant that was safe, but I know if I ever did that again I would have the whole fear thing in my head, everyache or pain or anything I would think it was from that, so that is obviously not the answer, I just feel so unnattractive, my husband loves me, and says I am perfect the way god made me, but see this is what I did to myself, not how god made me, I was once at least a B cup, saggy ok, but better than this A cup that I am barely now after the explant and lift, and yes they are perkier, but everytime I have to look at some model who has a perfect pair of breasts and a seemingly perfect life, health etc, it bums me out, makes me wonder why me, and why can't I just move on and get over it. I can only continue on my path of healing and praying and asking god to help me accept myself as a beautiful strong woman who has been through hell and come out pretty darned good in the end.I guess I needed to vent a bit. If only I had appreciated my body more when I was younger, it is funny how I was so insecure in my teens and early twenties, when my body was perfect and didn't appreciate it at all, it is funny how we change, now that I am confident enough to wear bikinis and skimpy summer clothes I cant do it, well I still do, with my waterbra, but I admit in certain situations I still miss the way I looked with those perfect boobs, even if they weren't really perfect, you guys know what I mean, I want to feel good about my body and not ashamed about my breasts, this may just take me years to recover, but hopefully someday I will and I am working hard on the rest of me so that helps a bit.Thanks for listening to me again!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the words of encouragement, I know your right, and I do

love myself, and I think I look great, and no I probably won't give

up my padded bras, but there is nothing wrong with a little padding,

but there was something about having full breasts that when I took my

clothes off made me feel very comfortable with my body, it has more

to do with the stretch marks than anything really, if it wasn't for

those darned stretch marks I never would have even gotten implants, I

swear that is the absolute truth, I just wanted them filled out, and

now I am small and they are back and they make me feel insecure, even

though I am an attractive woman and have a great shape and don't give

myself enough credit in many aspects I realize. I mean I work out so

much and I work so hard to look good that it really is frustrating

that there is just not much you can do about your breast skin itself

ya know. My goal now is to get buffed as I can, I am doing weight

training at the spa 3 days a week and cardio 5 days a week and

working on sculpting toning and stregnthening my body and muscles and

hopefully this will help my chest muscles which were weakened from

the cutting when I had my implants put in.

I am so glad your feeling better Jackie, we don't hear too much from

you anymore, how is your health doing now? Are you improving?

Well take care,

In @y..., " Jackie " <poopie@t...> wrote:

> Carey,

>

> I am so lucky that I am happy with my body....now. I never used to

be and that is what led me to implants in the first place. It took

me up until a few years ago to stop striving for the utmost

perfection in myself and seeing only the bad when I looked in the

mirror. I started out by re-wording any citicisms I had about my

body and turned them into something positive. At first it was

diffucult but as I forced myself each day to face up to being nice to

myself I eventually became my own best friend. I'm not perfect and

now the nice difference is, I don't want to be perfect. I really

like myself the way I am. I would love to have a full chest like I

did with the implants but that ain't gonna happen in my lifetime

again so I've decided I don't look too bad for an old broad of 42

(hehe) with small boobs.

>

> Carey some days I can't help but notice all the boobs around me.

Women have them everywhere and even the youngest of teens are huge

now. Who wouldn't notice them? The trick is to accept yourself for

who and what you are darlin, not who you want to be. It's been 3

months since my explant and I've been thru various stages including

wearing padding in my bra to look bigger. I questioned myself one

day as to why I was doing it and realized I was allowing my

insecurity to over-rule my confidence. Once I was aware of what I

was doing I put the padding away and couldn't be happier with

myself. Learn to love yourself Carey just the way you are. You'll

be amazed at how wonderful that feels.

>

> Carey those perfect boobs made you sick so how perfect can they be

and if you have a husband that loves you the way you are then half of

your battle is over. You just need to accept and love yourself.

>

> Jackie

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: cjheer@i...

> @y...

> Sent: Monday, September 03, 2001 6:01 AM

> Subject: more on body image issues

>

>

> Here I am getting ready to go work out again, and sure part of it

is

> for my health and all, but I am (I ADMIT IT) obsessed again with

the

> whole breast thing, everytime we watch tv or rent a movie I am

> constantly searching for the girls who are small like me, at

church I

> do it, in fact I do it everywhere. i get compliments on my

figure,

> but naked I am ashamed of my breasts, they seem so small, and

> unattractive, the scars are gone, but I have stretch marks bigger

> than my almost invisible incisions and I hate them. There is

nothing

> I can do to make them go away or look better, so I am lifting

weight

> and trying to work on other things, how do I just accept it, in

the

> back of my mind I keep thinking what if there was another type of

> implant that was safe, but I know if I ever did that again I

would

> have the whole fear thing in my head, everyache or pain or

anything I

> would think it was from that, so that is obviously not the

answer, I

> just feel so unnattractive, my husband loves me, and says I am

> perfect the way god made me, but see this is what I did to

myself,

> not how god made me, I was once at least a B cup, saggy ok, but

> better than this A cup that I am barely now after the explant and

> lift, and yes they are perkier, but everytime I have to look at

some

> model who has a perfect pair of breasts and a seemingly perfect

life,

> health etc, it bums me out, makes me wonder why me, and why can't

I

> just move on and get over it. I can only continue on my path of

> healing and praying and asking god to help me accept myself as a

> beautiful strong woman who has been through hell and come out

pretty

> darned good in the end.

>

> I guess I needed to vent a bit. If only I had appreciated my body

> more when I was younger, it is funny how I was so insecure in my

> teens and early twenties, when my body was perfect and didn't

> appreciate it at all, it is funny how we change, now that I am

> confident enough to wear bikinis and skimpy summer clothes I cant

do

> it, well I still do, with my waterbra, but I admit in certain

> situations I still miss the way I looked with those perfect

boobs,

> even if they weren't really perfect, you guys know what I mean, I

> want to feel good about my body and not ashamed about my breasts,

> this may just take me years to recover, but hopefully someday I

will

> and I am working hard on the rest of me so that helps a bit.

>

> Thanks for listening to me again!

>

>

>

>