Treatment Induced Suicide

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Friends,

This is important for you to read. Antidepressant medications are

implicated towards the end of the article:

Treatment-induced suicide. Suicidality as a potential effect of psychiatric

drugs

Lehmann

(Worked-over) Contribution to the conference Coping with stress and

depression related problems in Europe, organized by the World Health

Organization, the European Commission and the Federal Ministry of Social

Affairs, Public Health and the Environment (Belgium), Brussels, October 25 –

27, 2001

Depression can have many causes: psychosocial and political conditions,

neurological diseases, metabolic disorders, aging, toxic substances and

drugs. Physicians generally focus on organic or supposed organic

depressions, for which they prescribe psychiatric drugs and electroshocks.

It is hard for them to accept that many psychiatric drugs can cause or

increase depression and suicidality. But in the medical and pharmacological

specialist literature there are many reports about the depressive effects of

psychiatric drugs. In particular neuroleptics, so-called antipsychotic drugs

like haloperidol (one brand name for which is Haldol) and clozapine (one

brand name for which is Leponex) often initiate depression and suicide. A

suicide-register with special consideration of associated psychiatric drugs,

electroshocks, restraint, and other forms of psychiatric compulsion could be

effective as a form of prevention and lower the occurrence of depression and

suicides.

Drug-associated depression and suicidality

Neuroleptics have a blockading effect primarily against the transmitter

dopamine resulting in Parkinson’s disease. This is a complex of symptoms,

characterized by walking with a stoop, muscle tremor and blurred speech.

Parkinson’s disease regularly results from dopamine blockade. The potency of

neuroleptics is defined by their power to create Parkinson’s disease; this

is not an unwanted side effect, this is the therapeutic main-effect as

defined by psychiatrists.

Parkinson’s disease, primarily a disease of the movement-apparatus, involves

alterations on the psychic level, too. Neurologists define them as

Parkinson-personality. It is a complex of symptoms including apathy, loss of

willpower, depression and suicidality and states of confusion and delirium

(Fuenfgeld 1967, p. 13ff). In 1955, after the first administrations of the

neuroleptic prototype chlorpromazine (Largactil, Megaphen and Thorazine),

the German psychiatrist Hoimar von Ditfurth pointed to the parallels between

the emotional Parkinsonian deadening after a brain disease and the emotional

deadening after neuroleptic treatment:

As we may believe, it looks like as if the psychic alterations provoked by

Megaphen especially on the emotional level are from the same nature as the

»affective deadening and restriction«, which is registered so often at

postencephalitic parkinsonists (people with Parkinson’s disease after

subsiding of an acute brain inflammation, P.L.). (p. 56)

Thus depression and suicidality are normal effects of neuroleptics, and thus

psychiatrists accept them without question.

J. Ayd (1975) from the Psychiatric Department of the lin Square

Hospital in Baltimore, USA, wrote:

There is now general agreement that mild to severe depressions that may lead

to suicide may happen during treatment with any depot neuroleptic, just as

they may occur during treatment with any oral neuroleptic. These depressive

mood changes may transpire at any time during depot neuroleptic therapy.

Some clinicians have noted depressions shortly after the initiation of

treatment; others have observed this months or years after treatment was

started. (p. 497)

Otto Benkert and Hanns Hippius (1980), two German psychiatrists, answered

the question, whether suicidality perhaps could be caused by an excessive

dosage:

Depression, suicidality, states of excitement and delirium under the

influence of drugs generally occur during doses prescribed by the treating

physician. (p. 258)

Empirical data about suicides caused by psychiatric drugs are hard to find

for many reasons, as psychiatrists themselves write. Psychiatrists do not

notice or blame their courses of treatment as the cause of depression

(Lehmann 1996, p. 111). Asmus Finzen of the Psychiatric Department of the

University Berne, Switzerland, showed that the likely number of suicides in

psychiatric institutions is vast, too; correct figures are, however, hard to

find because

.... In illness documents and discharge summaries you could often find no

notice about the patients’ suicide or death. If the suicide happened during

a vacation, the patient’s discharge date might be backdated. If the suicide

attempt did not lead to an immediate death, in the illness document and

statistics he would be considered as moved to the inner or surgical clinic.

(1988, p. 45)

R. de Alarcon and M.W.P. Carney, two English psychiatrists, studied

depressive mood changes after administration of neuroleptics with other

variables staying the same. In the British Medical Journal they reported on

suicides under the influence of fluphenazine (market-name for instance

Moditen), administered as part of community treatment, and described a

fluphenazine trial on a 39 old man who already had tried to kill himself

under the influence of this drug. When the psychiatrists had realized that

this man regularly had developed suicidal intensions some days after the

two-week depot-injections, they wanted to witness the mood-worsening effect

of the neuroleptic with their own eyes. In the psychiatric institution the

man was observed over four weeks, without being treated with neuroleptics,

and without displaying anything remarkable at his mood. Then they injected

him 25 mg fluphenazine intramuscularly:

During his stay in hospital he was interviewed by one of us (R. de A.) three

times a week. For a week before the injection, on the days he was not due

for an interview. His condition was discussed with the chief ward nurse and

the nursing reports were perused. He was given the trial injection on a

Wednesday at 3 p.m.; by mid-afternoon on the following day he felt low,

wanted to be left on his own, and had no desire to talk to anyone, read, or

watch television. He took to his bed at about 4 p.m. In the opinion of the

charge nurse he was a suicidal risk. When interviewed on the Friday the

change in external appearance was striking – he looked gloomy, he did not

respond with a smile to a joke, and there was no spontaneous conversation.

His answers were limited to what was strictly necessary. He denied any

paranoid of hypochondriacal ideas or any feelings of guilt. He simply said

that he felt very low and if he were alone in digs he would take his life.

By Friday evening there was some improvement, and when he was interviewed

again on Saturday he had returned to his usual normal self. (... de Alarcon

and Carney gave a resume of their findings, P.L.) that some patients my

become severely depressed for a short period after an injection of

fluphenazine enanthate or decanoate. So far no pattern has been established

regarding when an in whom this I likely to occur. The lack of adverse

effects in the past is no indication that these may not appear in the

future. In the trial case, for instance, the patient received fluphenazine

enanthate for more than six months before he begun to react repeatedly to

the injection with severe depression, and the same thing happened with other

cases in the series. (1969, p. 565f.)

In his placebo-controlled study, psychiatrist Mueller from the

Psychiatric Department of the University of Goettingen, Germany, found that

a much higher percentage of people treated with psychiatric drugs had

depressive symptoms than people treated with placebos. In relation to

lessening or withdrawal of the psychiatric drugs he wrote:

In 47 cases the depressive mood lifted in 41 cases, in only two cases there

was no change, and in four cases the effect was dubious. It was very

surprising to see that in the predominant number of cases the reduction of

the doses (normally to half of the former dose) alone lead to an improvement

of the depressive symptoms. Often it was only a partial improvement, but

even this brought clear relief to the patient. On the other hand, in other

patients, or in the same ones whose situation improved only slightly when

taking lower doses, complete withdrawal made them feel much better. Some

patients reported that only now did they feel completely healthy again, as

they had long before their depressions. The depressive symptoms, which were

seen to be unchangeable by some psychiatrists, and which could possibly have

been taken to be a start of organic disorder, vanished completely. The

possible argument that these could be psycho-reactive effects caused by the

patients’ relief about the withdrawal of the psychiatric drug is refutable,

because nearly all patients received depot-injections and were not informed

about their doses or got placebo-injections. (...) Their change was quite

impressive to themselves, their relatives and their medical examiners in

some cases. The patients reported that now they felt completely healthy

again. In the group of people still treated with psychiatric drugs, this was

mostly not the case. These results quite definitely speak for pharmacogene

influences and against psychiatric morbidity developments.

Mueller resumed:

Depressive syndromes after the remission of the psychoses and under

treatment with psychiatric drugs are not rare, but occur on about two thirds

of the patients, and sometimes even more frequently, especially when

depot-drugs are given. Without treatment with psychiatric drugs, depressive

syndromes after a complete remission are only found in exceptional cases.

(p. 72)

Mueller’s reports are supported by many of his colleagues (Lehmann 1996, p.

57 – 87, 109 – 115). Some examples: Battegay and Annemarie Gehring

(1968) of the Psychiatric Department of the University of Basel,

Switzerland, warned after a comparison of treatment courses before and after

the era of psychiatric drugs:

During the last years, a shifting of the schizophrenic syndromes to a

depressive syndrome was repeatedly described. More and more schizophrenias

show a depressive-apathetic course. It became clear that often exactly that

develops under psychiatric drugs, what should be avoided with their help and

what is called a defect. (p. 107ff)

Walther Poeldinger and S. Siebern of the Psychiatric Institution Wil,

Switzerland, wrote:

It is not unusual that depressions caused by medication are marked by a

frequent occurrence of suicidal ideation. (1983, p. 131)

In 1976 Hans-Joachim Haase of the Psychiatric institution Landeck, Germany,

reported that the number of perilous depressive occurrences after a

treatment with psychiatric drugs increased at least ten times when compared

with before the introduction of psychiatric drugs. The increase of the

suicide rate is »alarming and worrying«, said Baerbel Armbruster of the

Psychiatric Department of the University of Bonn, Germany, in 1986 in the

Nervenarzt – without, nevertheless, alarming the (ex-) users and survivors

of psychiatry and their relatives, or even the public.

Rolf Hessoe from the Psychiatric Department of the University of Oslo,

Norway, informed about the development in Finland, Sweden and Norway in

1977; it seemed to be clear,

… that the increased incidence of suicide, both absolutely and relatively,

started in the year 1955. This was the year that neuroleptics were

introduced in Scandinavian psychiatric hospitals. (p. 122)

In 1982 Jiri Modestin wrote about his place of employment, the Psychiatric

Department of the University of Berne, as well as the neighboring

psychiatric institution Muensingen:

Our results show a dramatic increase of the suicide frequency among the

patients in Berne and Muensingen in the last years. (p. 258)

First hand reports about depression and suicidality

In the book »To come off psychiatric drugs«, published originally in 1998,

Regina Bellion from Bremen (Germany) gave a report about her psychic

condition under the treatment in the community:

Alone at home. Three times a day I count my Haldol drops. I don't do much

else. I sit on my chair and stare in the direction of the window. I have no

sense of what is happening outside. I find it difficult to move. Nonetheless

I am able to get up everyday. I don't notice that the apartment is getting

dirty. It doesn't occur to me that I should cook something. I don't wash

myself. I don't even ask myself if I stink. My misery progresses – but I

don't even notice.

I vegetate behind my neuroleptic wall and I am locked out of the world and

out of life. The real world is further from me than Pluto is from the sun.

My own secret world is also gone – my last refuge, and I had destroyed it

with Haldol.

This is not my life. This is not me. I may as well be dead. An idea has

begun to take shape. Before winter comes I will hang myself.

But before that I want to try and see if my life would be different without

Haldol. I reduce the number of drops. I take less and less until I arrive at

zero.

After one month I am clean. Then I begin to notice how unkempt I am. I wash

my hair, make the bed, clean the apartment. I prepare a warm meal. I even

enjoy doing this. I can think again. (Bellion 2002)

Another user of psychiatric drugs, living in Bremen too, had gotten a

prescription of Haldol and the antidepressant Aponal (doxepine); under the

influence of this combination she tried – fortunately without success – to

end her suffering by suicide:

When I got out again I would sit in my kitchen in front of the water-faucet,

thirsty but yet unable to pour myself a glass of water or to bite into the

bread that had become stale and hard. The supermarket was not far away, but

I couldn’t manage to get up and so I wished that I were simply dead so that

I would have some peace at last. I was broken by my illness. I saw it as a

punishment for two dark points in my life. Worst of all was the vicious

circle of endlessly recurring psychotic patterns of thought. I tried again

and again to think of something else even just for a moment – but it didn’t

work. My thoughts always revolved in the same circles, a hundred times a

day, sometimes at a time-loop tempo in slow motion, other times constantly

accelerating until my brain was spinning. And that was hell for me, the

devil’s game. I felt damned and abandoned by God with no hope of salvation.

I could do nothing but suffer through this film, my life, lying down. I knew

that I had to learn to have faith again, but I couldn’t, and so I tried to

end my life. (Marmotte 2002)

Atypical psychiatric drugs have suicidal effects, too, as the report of

Austrian Ursula Froehlich in Brave New Psychiatry shows:

Since I began taking Leponex (clozapine), I do not want sex anymore, did not

feel like moving and had no joy in life. A life without joy is, however,

worse than death. All that remained with me is watching TV, where I have

watched others living for seven years. I am still alive biologically, but my

senses are long since dead, everything that I former enjoyed I am not able

to do anymore. In a way, my life does not exist anymore, I feel so empty and

unimportant. In the mornings, the feeling is the worst. Every day I intend

to start a healthy life the following day, to throw away the drugs, to drink

many vitamins and fruit juices and to start with a daily fitness routine.

The psychiatric drugs cause a feeling as if it was possible for me to start

with a completely different, a new life the following day. But when I wake

up in the morning I feel like smashed, and I never come out of bed before 9

o’clock, my depressions are so extreme that I think of suicide every day.

(quoted from Lehmann 1996, p. 70ff)

Psychiatrists did not do differ in their own experiences of these drugs. In

1954 and 1955 Hans Heimann and Nikolaus Witt (1955) of the Psychiatric

Department of the University of Berne published their experiences after once

taking Largactil, the prototype of chlorpromazine. They experimented with

spiders and 1080 control subjects; they had three self-experiences and nine

experiments with as many psychiatrists and pharmacologists. The marked

inferior feeling and the feeling of powerlessness, structural element of the

syndrome of Parkinson’s disease caused by psychiatric drugs, after taking

Largactil became very clear in the following excerpts:

I felt physically and mentally ill. Suddenly my whole situation appeared

hopeless and difficult. Above all, the fact that one can be so miserable and

exposed, so empty and superfluous, neither filled by wishes nor by something

else, was torturing. ... (After finishing the examinations): The tasks of

life grew immense in front of me: dinner, go to the other building, come

back – and all of that by foot. With that this state reached its maximum of

uncomfortable emotions: The experience of a passive existence with clear

knowledge of the other possibilities... (p. 113)

Suicide-register as a form of prevention

In February 2000 the German Organization of the (ex-) Users and Survivors of

Psychiatry put forward the demand to the health minister to introduce a

suicide-register with special consideration of associated psychiatric drugs,

electroshocks, restraint and other forms of psychiatric compulsion (Lehmann

2001, p. 46). The missing of a registration of suicides associated with

psychiatric treatment methods, covering all areas of a country, is a serious

evil; such data are a fundamental prerequisite for cause-research and an

important basis for prevention and early detection. An obligation to notify

the authorities of suicides associated with psychiatry and psychiatric drugs

could enable preventive measures and instigate reliable studies that

discover the connection between suicidality and the effects of psychiatric

drugs. Not only neuroleptics, as shown, but antidepressants (Healy 2001;

Lehmann 1996, p. 194ff) and electroshock ( 1990), too, should be

watched very attentively.

Reports of (ex-) users and survivors of psychiatry who have been pushed into

suicide attempts after traumatizing treatment with psychiatric drugs,

electro- and insulinshocks (see for example Kempker 2000), must no longer

been ignored. Physicians and relatives have to be informed about the risk of

drug-caused depression and suicidality. The users of psychiatry need to be

informed so that they can make a carefully considered and informed decision

about taking or not-taking an offered psychiatric drug and if necessary can

take less risky measures against their depression.

Appendix: Continuous discrimination of (ex-) users and survivors of

psychiatry

At the conference »Balancing Mental Health Promotion and Mental Health Care:

A Joint World Health Organization / European Commission Meeting« in Brussels

in April 1999 the inclusion of (ex-) users and survivors of psychiatry into

mental health policies was accepted in the Consensus-paper:

Common goals and strategies to advance mental health promotion and care

include: (…) Developing innovative and comprehensive, explicit mental health

policies in consultation with all stakeholders, including users and carers,

and respecting NGO and citizen contributions. (WHO 1999, p. 9)

A representative of the European Network of (ex-) Users and Survivors of

Psychiatry was invited to the conference Coping with stress and depression

related problems in Europe (Brussels, October 2001), again organized by the

World Health Organization and the European Commission.

Instead of ensuring his active inclusion to enable professionals and

politicians to learn from the treasure trove of experiences and knowledge of

(ex-) users and survivors of psychiatry, they did not feel the need to offer

him an equal right’s plenary presentation. Even after remembering the

consensus paper, the Belgian Federal Ministry of Social Affairs, Public

Health and the Environment asked him only him »to take an active role in the

discussion during the workshops« (Leen Meulenbergs).

This is an old-fashioned allocation of roles for the representatives of

(ex-) users and survivors of psychiatry, who should play an active role as

experts in congresses, which deeply concern them. This conduct is to be

rejected as discriminating and against the spirit of equal rights.

References

Armbruster, Baerbel: »Suizide waehrend der stationaeren psychiatrischen

Behandlung«, in: Nervenarzt, Vol. 57 (1986), p. 511 – 516

Ayd, J.: »The depot fluphenazines«, in: American Journal of

Psychiatry, Vol. 132 (1975), p. 491 – 500

Battegay, / Gehring, Annemarie: »Vergleichende Untersuchungen an

Schizophrenen der praeneuroleptischen und der postneuroleptischen Aera«, in:

Pharmakopsychiatrie Neuro-Psychopharmakologie, Vol. 1 (1968), p. 107 – 122

Bellion, Regina: »After withdrawal the difficulties begin«, in:

Lehmann (ed.): »To come off psychiatric drugs. Successful withdrawal from

neuroleptics, antidepressants, lithium, carbamazepine and tranquilizers« (in

preparation for 2002)

Benkert, Otto / Hippius, Hanns: »Psychiatrische Pharmakotherapie«, 3.

edition, Berlin / Heidelberg / New York 1980

De Alarcon, R. / Carney, M.W.P.: »Severe depressive mood changes following

slow-release intramuscular fluphenazine injection« British Medical Journal,

Vol. 1969, p. 564 – 567

Finzen, Asmus: »Der Patientensuizid«, Bonn 1988

, Leonard R.: »Electroshock: death, brain damage, memory loss, and

brainwashing«, in: Journal of Mind and Behavior, Vol. 11 (1990), p. 489 –

502

Fuenfgeld, Ernst Walter: »Psychopathologie und Klinik des Parkinsonismus vor

und nach stereotaktischen Operationen«, Berlin / Heidelberg / New York 1967

Haase, Hans-Joachim: »Pharmakotherapie bei Schizophrenien«, in: Hans-Joachim

Haase (ed.): »Die Behandlung der Psychosen des schizophrenen und

manisch-depressiven Formenkreises«, Stuttgart / New York 1976, p. 93 – 120

Healy, : »The SSRI suicides«, in: Craig Newnes, Guy Holmes, Cailzie

Dunn (eds.): »This is madness too – Critical perspectives on mental health

services«, Ross-on-Wye 2001, p. 59 – 69

Heimann, Hans / Witt, Nikolaus: »Die Wirkung einer einmaligen

Largactilgabe bei Gesunden«, in: Monatsschrift fuer Psychiatrie und

Neurologie, Vol. 129 (1955), p. 104 – 123

Hessoe, Rolf: »Suicide in Norwegian, Finnish, and Swedish hospitals«, in:

Archiv fuer Psychiatrie und Nervenkrankheiten, Vol. 224 (1977), p. 119 – 127

Kempker, Kerstin: »Mitgift – Notizen vom Verschwinden«, Berlin 2000

Lehmann, : »Schoene neue Psychiatrie«, Vol. 1: »Wie Chemie und Strom

auf Geist und Psyche wirken«, Berlin 1996

Lehmann, : »Grusswort des Bundesverbandes Psychiatrie-Erfahrener«, in:

Aktion Psychisch Kranke (ed.): »25 Jahre Psychiatrie-Enquete«, Vol. 1, Bonn

2001, p. 44 – 47

Marmotte, Iris: »The Blue Caravan on the road ...«, in: Lehmann (ed.):

»To come off psychiatric drugs. Successful withdrawal from neuroleptics,

antidepressants, lithium, carbamazepine and tranquilizers« (in preparation

for 2002)

Modestin, Jiri: »Suizid in der psychiatrischen Institution«, in: Nervenarzt,

Vol. 53 (1982), p. 254 – 261

Mueller, : »Depressive Syndrome im Verlauf schizophrener Psychosen«,

Stuttgart 1981

Poeldinger, Walter / Sieberns, S.: »Depression-inducing and antidepressive

effects of neuroleptics«, in: Neuropsychobiology, Vol. 10 (1983), p. 131 –

136

Von Ditfurth, Hoimar: »Anwendungsmoeglichkeiten des Megaphens in der

psychiatrischen Klinik und Forschung«, in: Nervenarzt, Vol. 26 (1955), p. 54

– 59

World Health Organization / European Commission: »Balancing mental health

promotion and mental health care: a joint World Health Organization /

European Commission meeting«, booklet MNH/NAM/99.2, Brussels 1999; see:

www.weglaufhaus.berlinet.de/enusp/consensus.htm

Lehmann, Zabel-Krueger-Damm 183, D-13469 Berlin, Germany. E-mail:

plehmann@..., Phone/Fax: +49–(0)30–85963706, Internet:

www.peter-lehmann.de

Translation by Pia Kempker

Copyright 2002 by Lehmann

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[Guest guest]

Gee, and they put lovely Yates on Haldol, sent her home in a chemical straitjacket and expected her to function, when in fact the very drugs they put her on are what caused her to kill her children. I particularly liked the comment about being traumatized by psychiatric treatments -- that's ME!!! Given a drug that is hailed as a miracle cure and ten days later I'm locked up in a nutfarm with seriously psychotic people shuffling down the hallways, mumbling to themselves, their bare butts exposed through the back of their hospital gowns. Yeah, I'm traumatized all right. I still have nightmares about Paxil withdrawal and being in that snake pit. Sheesh.

[Guest guest]

Gee, and they put lovely Yates on Haldol, sent her home in a chemical straitjacket and expected her to function, when in fact the very drugs they put her on are what caused her to kill her children. I particularly liked the comment about being traumatized by psychiatric treatments -- that's ME!!! Given a drug that is hailed as a miracle cure and ten days later I'm locked up in a nutfarm with seriously psychotic people shuffling down the hallways, mumbling to themselves, their bare butts exposed through the back of their hospital gowns. Yeah, I'm traumatized all right. I still have nightmares about Paxil withdrawal and being in that snake pit. Sheesh.

[Guest guest]

Gee, and they put lovely Yates on Haldol, sent her home in a chemical straitjacket and expected her to function, when in fact the very drugs they put her on are what caused her to kill her children. I particularly liked the comment about being traumatized by psychiatric treatments -- that's ME!!! Given a drug that is hailed as a miracle cure and ten days later I'm locked up in a nutfarm with seriously psychotic people shuffling down the hallways, mumbling to themselves, their bare butts exposed through the back of their hospital gowns. Yeah, I'm traumatized all right. I still have nightmares about Paxil withdrawal and being in that snake pit. Sheesh.

[Guest guest]

Gee, and they put lovely Yates on Haldol, sent her home in a chemical straitjacket and expected her to function, when in fact the very drugs they put her on are what caused her to kill her children. I particularly liked the comment about being traumatized by psychiatric treatments -- that's ME!!! Given a drug that is hailed as a miracle cure and ten days later I'm locked up in a nutfarm with seriously psychotic people shuffling down the hallways, mumbling to themselves, their bare butts exposed through the back of their hospital gowns. Yeah, I'm traumatized all right. I still have nightmares about Paxil withdrawal and being in that snake pit. Sheesh.

[Guest guest]

lol, Glitter, you probably drove THEM nuts! good on ya!

> In a message dated 4/18/02 1:58:49 PM Mountain Daylight Time,

> stinky72001@y... writes:

>

>

> > just look at how you

> >

>

> That isn't even the best part. On day two in this clink, I

requested a

> meeting with the nutritionist. I was already incensed that they

made me

> drink decaf swill when I really wanted a cappuccino. So, in comes

the

> nutritionist, all decked out in a white uniform and carrying a

notepad.

> Looking very official. She thinks she's in charge. I tell her

that 1) I

> don't eat meat, assuming that what they served me WAS meat; 2) I

don't eat

> canned string beans; could I please have Haricot Verts with just a

bit of

> butter and lemon; and 3) I want salmon, grilled with lemon and

cayenne

> pepper. She looks up at me and says " What is Harry go where? " I

scream,

> " AR-EE-CO VARE -- FRENCH GREEN BEANS -- You know, the long skinny

ones,

> cooked just 8 minutes. " She makes notes, scrunches up her face. I

tell her

> I can't drink the swill they call coffee. I WANT MY CAPPUCCINO, I

demand,

> banging my fist on the table. How dare they NOT give me my

cappuccino! She

> tells me, " The patients are not allowed to have caffeine. We

wouldn't want

> them to get all jacked up now, would we? " I scream back, " You've

got them

> doped up on Haldol and Thorazine, their butts are hanging out of

their

> hospital gowns, they're wearing paper slippers and shuffling up and

down the

> hallway talking to themselves and you're worried about

CAFFEINE??? " I then

> remind her that I also don't eat iceberg lettuce, and could I

please have

> field greens, not with that gelatinous stuff they call salad

dressing, but a

> nice lemon vinaigrette, on the side please. Where the hell did I

think I was

> -- the Golden Door? Canyon Ranch? Miraval? " What are field

greens? " she

> asks, totally stumped by my request. Losing my patience, I reply,

softly

> this time, " You know, baby lettuces, arugula, red oak, Batavia "

She's writing

> furiously now. Wiping her brow, she says, " I'll see what I can

do. " That

> night at dinner, this is what I got: A piece of boiled white fish,

origin

> unknown. Species unknown. Two raw carrot sticks, and A HUGE

PLATTER OF

> ICEBERG LETTUCE with a cup of, I guess, ranch dressing. Who

knows? I ate

> the tapioca pudding and that was it! Institutional food is very

bizarre.

> Next day, I call hubby and tell him that if I don't get a

cappuccino, I'm

> going to DIE! And he'd damn well better bring one with him when he

comes or

> I'm going to kill him when I get -- if I EVER get -- the hell out

of this

> place; that the institutional swill gives me stomach cramps, maybe

even

> cancer, it's so bitter, and goddammit, I want that cappuccino and I

want it

> now. An hour later, he sneaks in a cappuccino. They frisk him at

the door;

> they confiscate the cappuccino. I " m LIVID!!!!! Then I start

writing the

> hospital staff notes: " Can I please have a massage? I'm all

stressed out

> from being here. " " When you get around to it, I'd also like to

have an

> acupuncture treatment. My chi is all jammed up. Please call my

regular

> acupunturist and see if she will make an out-call here. " But I'm

not quite

> done yet. I sign the damn notes, " Baronessa Blah Blah " thinking

THAT will

> convince them that I don't belong there and that I DO CERTAINLY

deserve

> special food and special treatment and this is all just one big

mistake and

> you should SEE WHAT THEY WROTE IN MY FILE!!! How I;'m delusional

and crazy.

> LOL

[Guest guest]

lol, Glitter, you probably drove THEM nuts! good on ya!

> In a message dated 4/18/02 1:58:49 PM Mountain Daylight Time,

> stinky72001@y... writes:

>

>

> > just look at how you

> >

>

> That isn't even the best part. On day two in this clink, I

requested a

> meeting with the nutritionist. I was already incensed that they

made me

> drink decaf swill when I really wanted a cappuccino. So, in comes

the

> nutritionist, all decked out in a white uniform and carrying a

notepad.

> Looking very official. She thinks she's in charge. I tell her

that 1) I

> don't eat meat, assuming that what they served me WAS meat; 2) I

don't eat

> canned string beans; could I please have Haricot Verts with just a

bit of

> butter and lemon; and 3) I want salmon, grilled with lemon and

cayenne

> pepper. She looks up at me and says " What is Harry go where? " I

scream,

> " AR-EE-CO VARE -- FRENCH GREEN BEANS -- You know, the long skinny

ones,

> cooked just 8 minutes. " She makes notes, scrunches up her face. I

tell her

> I can't drink the swill they call coffee. I WANT MY CAPPUCCINO, I

demand,

> banging my fist on the table. How dare they NOT give me my

cappuccino! She

> tells me, " The patients are not allowed to have caffeine. We

wouldn't want

> them to get all jacked up now, would we? " I scream back, " You've

got them

> doped up on Haldol and Thorazine, their butts are hanging out of

their

> hospital gowns, they're wearing paper slippers and shuffling up and

down the

> hallway talking to themselves and you're worried about

CAFFEINE??? " I then

> remind her that I also don't eat iceberg lettuce, and could I

please have

> field greens, not with that gelatinous stuff they call salad

dressing, but a

> nice lemon vinaigrette, on the side please. Where the hell did I

think I was

> -- the Golden Door? Canyon Ranch? Miraval? " What are field

greens? " she

> asks, totally stumped by my request. Losing my patience, I reply,

softly

> this time, " You know, baby lettuces, arugula, red oak, Batavia "

She's writing

> furiously now. Wiping her brow, she says, " I'll see what I can

do. " That

> night at dinner, this is what I got: A piece of boiled white fish,

origin

> unknown. Species unknown. Two raw carrot sticks, and A HUGE

PLATTER OF

> ICEBERG LETTUCE with a cup of, I guess, ranch dressing. Who

knows? I ate

> the tapioca pudding and that was it! Institutional food is very

bizarre.

> Next day, I call hubby and tell him that if I don't get a

cappuccino, I'm

> going to DIE! And he'd damn well better bring one with him when he

comes or

> I'm going to kill him when I get -- if I EVER get -- the hell out

of this

> place; that the institutional swill gives me stomach cramps, maybe

even

> cancer, it's so bitter, and goddammit, I want that cappuccino and I

want it

> now. An hour later, he sneaks in a cappuccino. They frisk him at

the door;

> they confiscate the cappuccino. I " m LIVID!!!!! Then I start

writing the

> hospital staff notes: " Can I please have a massage? I'm all

stressed out

> from being here. " " When you get around to it, I'd also like to

have an

> acupuncture treatment. My chi is all jammed up. Please call my

regular

> acupunturist and see if she will make an out-call here. " But I'm

not quite

> done yet. I sign the damn notes, " Baronessa Blah Blah " thinking

THAT will

> convince them that I don't belong there and that I DO CERTAINLY

deserve

> special food and special treatment and this is all just one big

mistake and

> you should SEE WHAT THEY WROTE IN MY FILE!!! How I;'m delusional

and crazy.

> LOL

[Guest guest]

You were literally fighting for the survival OF your sanity, dear

woman!

> I forgot to add the best part. The day after I wrote all the

notes, they

> drew up commitment papers and decided that I needed to be there for

3 months

> or longer. They asked me if I would volunatrily commit myself and

I said

> something to the effect, " What do you think I am -- CRAZY?????? "

[Guest guest]

You were literally fighting for the survival OF your sanity, dear

woman!

> I forgot to add the best part. The day after I wrote all the

notes, they

> drew up commitment papers and decided that I needed to be there for

3 months

> or longer. They asked me if I would volunatrily commit myself and

I said

> something to the effect, " What do you think I am -- CRAZY?????? "