How I've been feeling

October 9, 2001

Hi everyone....

Seems I've had a bit of a problem coming to grips with not responding to

treatment. Ofcourse, soon after that news, the disaster happened (WTC).

That was followed by losing two of the biggest clients at work and the

president resigning...and layoffs are looming in the future (sorta like

sitting on a mine and being afraid to move). I walked around in a haze

for quite a while...it was weird. Didn't get obviously depressed or

anything....just lived in this haze for all those weeks.

My reactions were strange and now I have to start all over on my path to

healthiness. After not smoking for 10 months I went out and bought a

carton...started drinking pepsi again....actually, all the things I gave

up for the health of my liver I started doing again. It wasn't until I

came out of the haze that I realized what I was doing to myself.

But I seem to have gotten everything back in perspective and am feeling

much better about life. It's like I mentally took a vacation from

reality...and it did seem to help although now I have to go through

quitting smoking again :-(

Anyway, just thought I'd share what I've been going through these last

weeks...actually over a month....

Blessings

Tatezi

--

" To restrict the art of healing to one class of men and deny equal

privileges to others will constitute the Bastille of medical science.

All such laws are un-American and despotic and have no place in a

republic... "

~ Rush MD, signer of the Declaration of Independence, physician

to Washington~

[image]

October 11, 2001

Hi Tatezi,

I been trying to think of something to cheer you

up, but I guess it's just something that takes time.

Not responding IS depressing, and then with all the

other things going on.... I myself have been very

depressed over the WTC/terrorist situation, and am

having a very difficult time shaking it off. I don't

understand - I know it sounds like something a small

child would say, but the thought keeps going through

my head, 'Why can't we all just be FRIENDS!' Too

simple I guess! Then the stress with your job. You've

had a lot on your shoulders lately. It sounds like you

are making progress though. It's ok to feel bad about

not responding, I bet that it is even normal to go

through a type of grieving process. After all, you've

had your hopes up, done all you could to make it work,

and it just didn't. Not this time anyway. I can

understand the backsliding too. Nicotine is so

addictive! I quit smoking 10 years ago and whenever I

am in a stressful situation I will still find myself

reaching for one! (I've been 'reaching' quite

frequently the past month myself!) I recently read an

article that cigarettes had an antidepressive affect

on people, so maybe that is why. Once I quit for 3

years, and never quit craving them. I thought maybe I

could only smoke one every once in a while. Nope, one

cig and I was right back to a pack a day. So I know

now I can't ever let myself smoke even one. Even after

10 years I still want one sometimes. Good luck with

the quitting, I know how hard it is, but there is

probably nothing worse a person can do to their health

than smoke! I think you are a strong person though,

and you'll be able to do it. By all means get help

with antidepressants if needed, they are much less

harmfull than cigarettes! Good luck, and make sure you

keep us posted on how you are doing.

Claudine

--- Tatezi <tatezi@...> wrote:

> Hi everyone....

> Seems I've had a bit of a problem coming to grips

> with not responding to

> treatment. Ofcourse, soon after that news, the

> disaster happened (WTC).

> That was followed by losing two of the biggest

> clients at work and the

> president resigning...and layoffs are looming in the

> future (sorta like

> sitting on a mine and being afraid to move).....

__________________________________________________

October 11, 2001

Hi Tatezi,

I been trying to think of something to cheer you

up, but I guess it's just something that takes time.

Not responding IS depressing, and then with all the

other things going on.... I myself have been very

depressed over the WTC/terrorist situation, and am

having a very difficult time shaking it off. I don't

understand - I know it sounds like something a small

child would say, but the thought keeps going through

my head, 'Why can't we all just be FRIENDS!' Too

simple I guess! Then the stress with your job. You've

had a lot on your shoulders lately. It sounds like you

are making progress though. It's ok to feel bad about

not responding, I bet that it is even normal to go

through a type of grieving process. After all, you've

had your hopes up, done all you could to make it work,

and it just didn't. Not this time anyway. I can

understand the backsliding too. Nicotine is so

addictive! I quit smoking 10 years ago and whenever I

am in a stressful situation I will still find myself

reaching for one! (I've been 'reaching' quite

frequently the past month myself!) I recently read an

article that cigarettes had an antidepressive affect

on people, so maybe that is why. Once I quit for 3

years, and never quit craving them. I thought maybe I

could only smoke one every once in a while. Nope, one

cig and I was right back to a pack a day. So I know

now I can't ever let myself smoke even one. Even after

10 years I still want one sometimes. Good luck with

the quitting, I know how hard it is, but there is

probably nothing worse a person can do to their health

than smoke! I think you are a strong person though,

and you'll be able to do it. By all means get help

with antidepressants if needed, they are much less

harmfull than cigarettes! Good luck, and make sure you

keep us posted on how you are doing.

Claudine

--- Tatezi <tatezi@...> wrote:

> Hi everyone....

> Seems I've had a bit of a problem coming to grips

> with not responding to

> treatment. Ofcourse, soon after that news, the

> disaster happened (WTC).

> That was followed by losing two of the biggest

> clients at work and the

> president resigning...and layoffs are looming in the

> future (sorta like

> sitting on a mine and being afraid to move).....

__________________________________________________

October 12, 2001

Claudine....

Thanks so much for your note...Even with my cable modem down for the

last 8 days (note the new dialup account this is coming from), I've been

checking the mail at .

I feel like I'm coming to grips with not responding but am still

whirling over everything else. Interesting how depression seems to take

all your reserves for dealing with anything. Never heard that about

nicotine being an antidepressent but it makes sense. But, I quit for 10

months and I *will* quit again. Just not quite ready yet.

And I know that if I take care of myself properly, I have a good chance

of maintaining my health. Started prozac a couple weeks ago so it should

kick in within a week or two... hopefully when that happens I'll get

back on my feet so to speak.

Thanks again for responding....I've been feeling very alone.

Blessings

Tatezi

claudine intexas wrote:

> It's ok to feel bad about

> not responding, I bet that it is even normal to go

> through a type of grieving process. After all, you've

> had your hopes up, done all you could to make it work,

> and it just didn't. Not this time anyway. I can

> understand the backsliding too.

[image]

--

" To restrict the art of healing to one class of men and deny equal

privileges to others will constitute the Bastille of medical science.

All such laws are un-American and despotic and have no place in a

republic... "

~ Rush MD, signer of the Declaration of Independence, physician

to Washington~

October 12, 2001

Claudine....

Thanks so much for your note...Even with my cable modem down for the

last 8 days (note the new dialup account this is coming from), I've been

checking the mail at .

I feel like I'm coming to grips with not responding but am still

whirling over everything else. Interesting how depression seems to take

all your reserves for dealing with anything. Never heard that about

nicotine being an antidepressent but it makes sense. But, I quit for 10

months and I *will* quit again. Just not quite ready yet.

And I know that if I take care of myself properly, I have a good chance

of maintaining my health. Started prozac a couple weeks ago so it should

kick in within a week or two... hopefully when that happens I'll get

back on my feet so to speak.

Thanks again for responding....I've been feeling very alone.

Blessings

Tatezi

claudine intexas wrote:

> It's ok to feel bad about

> not responding, I bet that it is even normal to go

> through a type of grieving process. After all, you've

> had your hopes up, done all you could to make it work,

> and it just didn't. Not this time anyway. I can

> understand the backsliding too.

[image]

--

" To restrict the art of healing to one class of men and deny equal

privileges to others will constitute the Bastille of medical science.

All such laws are un-American and despotic and have no place in a

republic... "

~ Rush MD, signer of the Declaration of Independence, physician

to Washington~

October 12, 2001

(((((Tatezi))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. You went back to smoking I went

back to eating lol

Can't believe how much i eat and it just now hit me thats how I deal with

depression. And I was telling myself it didn't matter!!! what a crock.

Hopes do get elevated with treatment and a person just hopes that they will

be one of the few that gets to beat this thing. But guess its not us. Hang

in there If you quit for that long yu can do it again and we all need a

crutch now and again.

SO is a vegetarian diet the best for this kind of diseaasse? MY body is way

out of whack. not getting rid of the toxins properly. so need to go to the

library and check out some books I guess, I try not to eat much meat at

times but I do like it. Seems like my body is having trouble metabolizing

food period.

Guess I should staart on my antidepressant again too. Just hate that I have

to take it. Have SAD though and the days are getting shorter and then along

with the relapse. I know something is out there on the horizon though and

it will be there for so many, hopefully soon. well take care and remember

we are all here for you

HUGS

Suzy

From: Tatezi <tatezi@...>

Reply-Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C

Subject: Re: How I've been feeling

Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001 08:45:04 -0500

_________________________________________________________________

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October 12, 2001

(((((Tatezi))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. You went back to smoking I went

back to eating lol

Can't believe how much i eat and it just now hit me thats how I deal with

depression. And I was telling myself it didn't matter!!! what a crock.

Hopes do get elevated with treatment and a person just hopes that they will

be one of the few that gets to beat this thing. But guess its not us. Hang

in there If you quit for that long yu can do it again and we all need a

crutch now and again.

SO is a vegetarian diet the best for this kind of diseaasse? MY body is way

out of whack. not getting rid of the toxins properly. so need to go to the

library and check out some books I guess, I try not to eat much meat at

times but I do like it. Seems like my body is having trouble metabolizing

food period.

Guess I should staart on my antidepressant again too. Just hate that I have

to take it. Have SAD though and the days are getting shorter and then along

with the relapse. I know something is out there on the horizon though and

it will be there for so many, hopefully soon. well take care and remember

we are all here for you

HUGS

Suzy

From: Tatezi <tatezi@...>

Reply-Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C

Subject: Re: How I've been feeling

Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001 08:45:04 -0500

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

October 12, 2001

Suzy...

You mentioned that you deal with SAD....what a horrible thing that is

but so understandable. My mother and both my sisters have always had a

terrible time with SAD...but never me. After reading an article one year

about full spectrum light bulbs I realized that I'd never had a problem

with SAD because I always have full spectrum plant lights in my

house/apartment. So several years ago I bought a dozen full spectrum

lightbulbs and sent them to my mother and told her to put them in all

her lamps. About mid winter she told me that she had just realized she

wasn't depressed that winter. She put them away for the summer (she's

very frugal) and couldn't find them the next winter so went without

them...and fought depression all winter. Now she uses them every winter

and hasn't dealt with SAD in years.

I buy mine from Gaiam (Harmony) because I buy a lot of natural products

from them. The link to their light bulb page is

http://www.gaiam.com/gai_IWSearch.process?RestartFlow=t . A regular

plant light is full spectrum, but my mother likes to put them in her

lamps and so I mail order them for her when I place my orders. I use

full spectrum bulbs in flourescent fixtures...they type you buy for

tropical aquariums. I don't like regular plant lights because they have

a pinkish glow to them but they do the same thing.

You might give them a try this year. They are a bit pricey but last a

long time...longer than regular bulbs. I pay $30 for a 4 foot bulb and

it lasts about 4 years....and, it's on 12 hours a day 265 days a year.

They even come in three-way bulbs now too. Just a suggestion...

As far as diet, I don't know about a straight vegetarian diet. There are

a lot of differing opinions on eating meats. Our cells need (as in must

have) protein to regenerate so we need some protein. I eat steamed,

skinless chicken/turkey breasts and a lot of steamed fish (primarily

salmon) but when I crave meat, I figure my body is talking to me and

will eat meat. But I'm careful about how much protein I eat...as a rule,

chinese medicine recommends low protein while western medicine

recommends high protein. From what I've learned, high grain diets are

best for our livers *and* digestive system. I also eat a lot of sweet

potatoes and beets. I eat a lot of brown rice with pearl onions and peas

mixed in along with a small piece of chicken, turkey or fish.

Our digestive systems are pretty much linked with our liver/gallbladder.

According to my chinese doctor, the majority of people with liver

problems have trouble digestion problems and he always treats my

digestive system when I go in for treatments. And he nags about water,

water, water. Not only does water flush toxins from our bodies, but it

helps with elimination and makes a huge difference in our skin.

Oh, by the way, all the alternative medical people I have seen or talked

to recommend eating lots of apples. Not sure why, but apples are

supposed to be excellent for our livers.

Good luck, Suzy. We all keep hanging in there trying what we can to beat

this dragon. And if it weren't for people like here in this group, I

think we would go crazy because certainly people who don't have Hep C

have no clue what we go through.

Blessings

Tatezi

Suzy Balone wrote:

> SO is a vegetarian diet the best for this kind of diseaasse? MY body

> is way out of whack. not getting rid of the toxins properly.

> .......Seems like my body is having trouble metabolizing food

> period......Have SAD though and the days are getting shorter and then

> along with the relapse.

--

" To restrict the art of healing to one class of men and deny equal

privileges to others will constitute the Bastille of medical science.

All such laws are un-American and despotic and have no place in a

republic... "

~ Rush MD, signer of the Declaration of Independence, physician

to Washington~

[image]

October 12, 2001